Accused Sexual Abuser Casey Affleck Hosts a Wildly Hit & Miss 'SNL'
Cold Open — Vladmir Putin climbs down the chimney of Trump Tower a la Santa to allow Donald Trump to kiss his ass and leave him an Elf on the Shelf. Plus, John Goodman stops by to play Rex Tillerson and gives his regards to his best pal, Vladmir, with whom he makes plans concerning Russian oil. Is it a funny cold open? It’s OK. Does it strongly make the point to a mass audience that believes SNL more than CNN that Trump is in bed with Putin?
Yes, yes it does. Watch here. (Score: 7 out of 10)
Casey Affleck — Affleck gives a more traditional SNL monologue, drops a few jokes, makes fun of his movies, lets Baldwin and Goodman hang out, and never mentions his sexual harassment lawsuits. So, Affleck continues to be doing fine. (Score: 5 out of 10)
Dunkin Donuts Christmas Commercial — Casey Affleck and his Boston accent invade a Dunkin Donuts Christmas commercial, and to be honest, he’s kind of perfect. He and his brother do working class Boston characters right — he’s basically a more beardy version of his Manchester by the Sea character. Go back to Stahbucks! Me and my male white privilege got into a big argument over this one. Watch here. (Score: 9.5 out of 10)
Microsoft Tech Expo — Fred Armisen stops by to introduce the Helix 900, a human android who identifies as gay. “Why?” “Why not? It’s 2016.” It’s a one-joke sketch, and all the jokes are gay stereotypes, so this sketch is weirdly uncomfortable in addition to not being funny. What was Kate McKinnon doing in this? Jesus. Watch here. (Score: 1 out of 10)
Jingle Barack — Kenan Thompson and Chance the Rapper turn in an amazing rap video about our last Christmas with President Obama, and Leslie Jones’ adds a killer verse about Uncle Joe. Love. (Score: 9 out of 10)
Colleen Rafferty — Kate McKinnon returns for the third time as the crazy lady who was once abducted by an alien, but who now has been abducted by Santa Claus and taken to the North Pole. The first time McKinnon pulled out the character, it worked well because no one could keep a straight face. Here, no one breaks, but McKinnon is still comedy gold. (Score: 6 out of 10)
Weekend Update — Mildly amusing, mildly annoying “Update,” per usual, but both Jost and Che had one great joke apiece. Che: “The only thing that scares me more than a Trump presidency is if Trump is not allowed to be President.” Jost: “Trump’s pick for Secretary of State is ExxonMobil CEO Rex Tillerson, who was awarded the Order of Friendship by Vladmir Putin. The Medal of Friendship is one of highest honors Russia gives. The only higher honor is President of the United States.” (Score: 5 out of 10)
New York Now — A local news broadcast goes inside a comedic Nativity Story. “We took the story of Christ, and we added a bunch of jokes.” It’s lame because it’s supposed to be, but it’s also lame where it’s not supposed to be. Watch here. (Score: 4 out of 10)
Hillary Actually — Kate McKinnon does Hillary Rodham Clinton in the Andrew Lincoln card-holding part of Love Actually where she tries to convince Cecily Strong — an elector in the Electoral College — to vote for anyone by Trump. This is fun. (Score: 6.5 out of 10)
Mrs. Claus — Oh God, not this sketch again. It was in last Christmas’ episode. The elves misbehave in the hopes that Mrs. Claus will “punish their little tiny bodies.” In a sexual way. It was bad last year. It is bad this year. Watch here. (Score: 3 out of 10)
Kyle Mooney Kill Yourself Sketch — Mooney and Affleck fight over having Christmas Eve dinner with a woman they just met in a bar. Mooney stabs Affleck, then everyone speaks with the same annoying accent. Very much a hit and miss night. This was a big miss. Watch here. (Score: 2 out of 10)