Pajiba

a PG-13 sci-fi movie that he describes as a cross between Cloverfield and The Transformers.

What the fuck does that even mean? Also, who asked for that? I didn't ask for that and I'm the geekiest fuck I know. Also, NO. Somebody get their thumb out of their ass and remake me some "Kamikaze Taxi" pronto.

Who is the least attractive person you can imagine giving a pity fuck?

My freshman roommate's boyfriend/fiancee. He really deserved at least one last moment of strings-free happiness before she dropped him whole down her humorless, micromanaging gullet.

Iron Man!!! *throws up the horns* please god don't let it suck please please please....

You're right. Not too much to get into today, although I did love the Hobbit books.

Pity Fuck: Adrien Brody. Yeah, he's funny looking, but between his talent and just being so damn likeable, I'd hit that. And enjoy the hell out of it.

Knock if OFF, Jedi bitch!

Finish Star Trek then we can talk about your teen comedy that I don't really want to see anyway. But really, finish Star Trek, I wanna see my Scotty Pegg!

Yeah, unless Christopher Tolkien's got the notes there's zero sense in writing a new Middle Earth story...not that there'd be a lot of good sense anyway. Sure, more story is good but....that's like those Pride and Prejudice sequel novels.

But they're pretty damn popular I think.

Any movie about the Greek damn well better mention "Hot August Night", cause that stage, she is the goddamnedest woman you ever saw.

Oh, Twig, my boyfriend works for Marvel and has actually seen the movie. He has guaranteed that the movie doesn't suck. He promised on our future sex, so I'm pretty confident about how awesome it will be.

Cloverfield and Transformers? really? Is there a more yawn-tastic combination from last years crappy blockbuster film offerings?

Pity-fuck?
I'll take Ewan McGregor - cheer him up after the damning Deception reviews
although given I'd enjoy it, I'm not sure its technically a pity fuck....

Howard Jones and Alan Ball? I'm in.

Adrien Brody as a pity fuck? Damn, he's on my actual list...
As for an actual pity fuck, I can't even think of anyone at this particular moment.

I'm thrilled about Del Toro doing The Hobbit. I think he'll give it just the right tone.

JJ, wtf are you thinking?

Ewan McGregor? Pity what? The man is liquid sex. Seriously. He's the sexiest tomato ever.

Trouble, thank you. The trailers look awesome but I've watched too many of its bretheren explode on impact to not be flinchy. That's great news.

US citizens have to wait till Friday for their Iron Man?

We got him here tomorrow night already. And I'm sure it'll be the sneak peek tonight.

Pity fuck: Rosie.

ooo the fact that Russell Brand is getting big stateside sends shivers through my little English heart! You chaps should check out his stand-up on youtube!

You know, I love horror movies as much as the next guy. No, probably more than the next guy. (I'd fuck the ever-unliving shit out of TK's zombie hordes, for example) and I don't mind a bit of violence in movies.

That said, FOR THE LOVE OF GODTOPUS WILL YOU PLEASE GET RID OF THAT FUCKING FRONTIERS UNRATED DOT COM AD?

It's been showing up on the left side of my screen everytime I stop by here for over a week now. (You know the one with the maniac-looking dude tying the girl to the bend and then going to work on her achilles heel with the bolt cutters?)

I don't like it. At all.

It's nothing more than an ad for torture porn, which this site has so justly condemed in the past. Get some balls and stop whoring yourselves out, yo!

The ad is disturbing and has decreased the number of times I visit this site a day and makes me scan through the content as quickly as possible to get that crap off my screen.

I will never visit Frontiers Unrated dot Com. I will never see that crap-ass film. It's been officially BANNED. Any of you who actually see this movie either in "select theaters" or "on DVD" will be in breach of the BAN and will be dealt with accordingly.

That is all.

Oh, to make this comment somewhat more on topic, yeah Jackson could have edited his shit down a bit (especially at the end there), but I can't think of too many films that so surpassed the source material like Jackson's LOTR movies did the books. Getting rid of Tom Bombadillo and Goldberry (not to mention that whole boring, pointless after-the-fact scouring of the Shire) was enough to put them over the top. So, now that I think about, perhaps Jackson didn't have such a big problem with editing after all...

I don't pity fuck anybody. Get your own damn vibrator.

I'm also thrilled that Del Toro will be doing The Hobbit, but I don't understand the point of The Hobbit II. I don't feel like watching 3 hours of Bilbo writing his memoirs before he throws his eleventy first birthday party. I thought they were splitting The Hobbit in two so that they could do the whole book without leaving anything out. So much for common sense.

I don't know if anyone mentioned it yesterday, but The Happening has got to be in the running for worst movie title ever. I can just imagine some Joe Six-Pack standing in line at the box office and saying to his wife, "Hey, that one looks good! I bet something happens in that movie!"

Can anyone explain to me why people are so nuts to see Iron Man? I mean, I'm an actual comic book fan (like, I have thousands of them), and I don't see why I should be any more excited about that than any other super-hero movie.

ajax19, I never noticed it was an Achilles heel until you mentioned it...
I agree with you on Jackson not having sone such a terrible job on LOTR. Dustin just likes to drag the trilogy through the goblin dung when he sees the chance. I've learned to live with it. Yay for tolerance.

so wait, they are going to squish The Hobbit into one movie but make another movie about material that has never been written??

wtf!?

that right there is just too much for me to comprehend this early in the morning...

although I am thrilled to bits that DelToro is directing. I cannot wait to see how he does Smog (it will have to be pretty kick ass to surpass the cartoon version Smog. Yes. I own the cartoon Hobbit from way back. What of it?)

and Crispin Glover scares the bejeebus out of me...

Dustin just likes to drag the trilogy through the goblin dung when he sees the chance. I've learned to live with it. Yay for tolerance.

His disdain for all things geek-related is well-documented. The Big Man is just too cool for school is all.

I'm excited to see Ironman if only because it has Robert Downey Jr. as the hero. That doesn't sell you enough right there? In a world where Tobey Maguire and Ed Norton are being cast as the good guys, right doesn't stand a fucking chance, nor is it half as entertaining as it should be.

Pity fuck - Paul Giamatti.

I'm with BWeaves, I fuck people because I want to, not out of pity. BUT, I'll throw up Damian Kulash of OK Go because he doesn't fit my usual 'type' but I've seen them live twice and after that treadmill dancing video, he could get it.

Trailers like Towelhead make me, as the older sister to a very 'mature' looking 12 year old, very very nervous. Kids are still kids, even if part of them look grown up.

What's the Iron Man release for Europe? I suspect I might be in London when it comes out.

I don't see why I should be any more excited about that than any other super-hero movie.

It's egotistical, self-destructive hedonist Tony Stark as egotistical, self-destructive hedonist with lots of guns in "The Robert Downey Jr. Story"... I mean, in "Iron Man".

Seriously, you do read round ups, right? A movie worth watching is grounds for celebration. A comic book movie worth watching is practically the Lourdes Miracle.

Geek attack: Bethy, it's actually spelled Smaug.

Leading to: Dustin, your relentless geek-provoking will one day lead your readers to rise up as one and smite you. I'm just sayin'. Watch yer ass.

Pity fuck: Um... what?

What's the Iron Man release for Europe? I suspect I might be in London when it comes out.

Continental: 30 April or 1st of May, depends.
UK: 2 May

(it's more blurry than this, actually, but IMDB is your friend)

After reading that load of shite I'm looking for someone to pityfuck ME!

ajax, darling, put down the big Greek Sword and take a deep breath... k? Now take the window you're reading this in, by the corner, k? And just minimize that sucked until you can't see it anymore! INSTANT SERENITY!

Seriously, though, it's an ad sequence and I don't think the site can do much about it. the more we talk about it, the more the hits for the damn thing will come up and it'll stay longer. It's like a fatty troll, just don't feed it.

Godtopus be with you.

Ajax19, what browser do you use? Try using FireFox (if you're not already), and get the AdBlocker Plus extension. It will block all of the ads on Pajiba. It's quite wonderful.

(I hope this advice won't piss off your advertisers, Dustin.)

Ajax19, what browser do you use? Try using FireFox (if you're not already), and get the AdBlocker Plus extension. It will block all of the ads on Pajiba. It's quite wonderful.

(I hope this advice won't piss off your advertisers, Dustin.)

Sorry for the double post, friends. That's what I get for being hasty in my html. I is stupid.

you know, I think I knew that too TK

one more reason why I should not be allowed to type anything until I have had at least one full cup of tea....

Ajax19, what browser do you use? Try using FireFox (if you're not already), and get the AdBlocker Plus extension. It will block all of the ads on Pajiba. It's quite wonderful.

I do at home, but, like most of America, I do most of my surfing at the office where I am slave to Microsoft its Internet Explorer...

Pity fuck: Um... what?

I don't think that question's for us.

Well, maybe for you. I'm not gonna sell your magnetism short.

Besides, Eddie and I are penis ambivalent. But don't nobody do me no favors anyway!

Thanks, Adere. IMDB doesn't list a separate release date for Ireland, so I guess it falls under the UK umbrella? Whatever, it looks like I should get to see it this weekend just like everyone in the states, which is exciting.

The Hobbit II: The Money Grab (Electric Boogaloo). Heh.

Pity fuck: Um...I don't like to think I'm that fixated on physical appearance, but I guess I am. Guillermo del Toro is mightydamn repulsive (but kudos to him for losing all that weight--keep it up, hombre!) but I would fuck him because I love his work. LOVE his work.

Dustin, though your Round-Ups focus on movie news, they are titled "TRADE Round-Ups," and...well, how could you have missed this?

I mean, knowing your readership and all: how?

Also, the Crispin Glover tidbit cheers me up, even though in the end we'll probably never see a finished product.

ajax, darling, put down the big Greek Sword and take a deep breath... k? Now take the window you're reading this in, by the corner, k? And just minimize that sucked until you can't see it anymore! INSTANT SERENITY!

lilianna28, a solid suggestion. I just tried this. My Explorer window is tiny and it's annoying. I will have to keep re-sizing it every time I come here.

So, in response, I must quote Michael Bolton:

"No way. Why should I change? He's the one who sucks."

The Scouring of the Shire is my favorite part of the trilogy. The hobbits go to war to save their home and way of life, but even after they save the world, when they get home it's not happily ever after. There are problems they have to deal with, and the experiences they had in the war matured them to the point where they could take care of their problems themselves and not rely on others to do things for them.

But I agree, it was probably right to keep it out of the movies.

By the way, i went to see Kids in the Hall again this weekend. It was even better than the first time. They did a meet and greet again, so anyone going to the show needs to hang out in the lobby afterwards. They will either come out in the lobby or come out on stage for autographs and pictures. I'm thinking about going to see them again when they come to Chicago.

Iron Man. I will be seeing it tomorrow.

Yes.

This is all that is getting me through the week.

Iron Man. Tomorrow.

Tomorrow.

Yes.

R.E. JJ Abrams

As a former fan of much of his work, allow me to explain the JJ Abrams work ethic. He gets a shiny new project and treats is very well for approximately 2 years. During these 2 years, this new project will be the focal point of all of his creative energy and nothing else will be more important. If said project is a serial, this will also be the best years of said project. Examples of this phenomenon can be seen with Alias, Felicity, and Lost.

After the initial two years of this project, a new project idea will gain all of Mr. Abrams' focus and the original idea will be forgotten and allowed to languish until a network mercifully kills it. This process can also be seen with the timing of all projects on Mr. Abrams' resume. He is easily distracted by such things as big name stars, shiny explosions, and accolades such as genius.

Be wary, folks. Be wary.

"Iron Man ... I don't see why I should be any more excited about that than any other super-hero movie."

Robert Downey Jr.

'Nuff said.

R.E. JJ Abrams

As a former fan of much of his work, allow me to explain the JJ Abrams work ethic. He gets a shiny new project and treats is very well for approximately 2 years. During these 2 years, this new project will be the focal point of all of his creative energy and nothing else will be more important. If said project is a serial, this will also be the best years of said project. Examples of this phenomenon can be seen with Alias, Felicity, and Lost.

Interesting theory, but the end of Season 3 and almost every episodes of Season 4 of Lost sort of prove this wrong.

The first season was awesome, the second season started to drag, the begining and middle of the third season were getting close to unwatchable, but from the last 5-6 episodes of Season 3 through Season 4 Lost has been as good as it ever was.

I can't speak to Felicity or Alias, because I didn't watch those shows.

So The Forlorn is going to be Ravenous without Ed Rooney (pederast) and Begbie, but with George McFly? As long as people still get super powers from cannibalism, I'll go see it.

I'm sure this has been discussed many times on this site by many more eloquent than me, but I fucking hate Eli Roth! He should be drowned in a vat of his own hair gel. I want to drag him into the woods, tie him to a tree, and let him die of exposure... to my knife. May Godtopus smite him. SMITE!

Don't waste your hate on Eli Roth. In another nine months or so, nobody's even going to remember who he was.

Interesting theory, but the end of Season 3 and almost every episodes of Season 4 of Lost sort of prove this wrong.

Abrams left Lost midway of the second season to finish Alias and to work on MI:3-Tom Cruise's Hetero extravaganza. Then Star Trek came along and he had no reason to go back to Lost.

It is like a shiny new pet that he hugs and loves until it grows up and then he gets bored and moves on to the next shiny new pet.

I don't quite understand your hate for PJ and the LOTR trilogy.

Those films will be known as the greatest cinematic achievement of this decade.

Brett, don't. Please.

Forget it Brett, it's Pajibatown.

"fuck it up nearly as bad as Peter Jackson" Really, DR? Really? I think calling your dislike for Jackson's LOTR geek-bashing is giving you way too much credit. I think it's another example of you starting/carrying on an inexplicable backlash in the vain attempt to look quite thoughtful and have your readers think to themselves, "Wow. This guy's really smart. He's obviously seen something in the film that I, in my amateurish, non-movie-critic, unintelligent way have missed. Tell me more! Tell me more! Don't leave me guessing! Wait, let me go over to his blog so I can enrich my life with more of his musings!"

I say all of this because, unlike most of the other writers on this site, I've never seen someone try so hard to impress readers, be it with deliberately-contrarian views on no-brainers or excessively smart-arse review structures - or lack thereof (perhaps with the occasional exception of Ranylt's over-eloquent reviews - though I'm willing to give her the benefit of the doubt that she writes this way simply because she's super-smart!).

Your movie knowledge is obviously immense, DR. Why do you feel this constant need to impress or strive for validation of your brilliance?

What's next? Schindler's List was shit? Brando can't act? Jessica Biel's ugly?

To quote TK...I'm just sayin'

Boogs: You're absolutely right. I try very hard to impress our readers. I often stay awake nights trying to think up new ways to impress them. Sometimes I succeed, often I fail. But, I try. Very hard. And it's a good day for me when I succeed because these goddamn people mean the world to me. But none of that has anything to do with the LOTR trilogy -- 10 hours of run, fight, run, fight, run, fight, run, ring! There's plenty of LOTR geeks on the site, above and below the comment line. But, I'm not buying it. It was dull. Overlong. Pointless. And full of itself.-- DR

You know who we should all be pity-humping? The SpamBot, that's who.

Think about it - that sumanabootch has been here through thick and thin, every review, Pajiba-Love, Round-Up, Hangover Theater, you friggin' name it... Hell, he's even made the goddamed Eloquent Elegance... And what does he get in return? Nada. Have any of us visited anything he's been pushing? Rich Black Fellers, Celebrity Millionaires, Sexy Singles, etc.? I don't think so... So here's the deal - I've rented a room at the Super 8 off of Hwy. 32 - room 117. On my way out of town, I'm gonna pick up a six-gallon drum of barbeque sauce. We can make this happen, people. Let's give our little 'Bot a lotta dirty, dirty, lovin'. He deserves it...

TK's anti-Dustin vitirol has alerted me to him among us who truly needs a pity fuck. BarbadoSlim. Whether he be locked in TK's dungeon (Can zombies give lovin'?) or buried in a pauper's grave (Get on it Julie!) The man needs us more than ever.

Actually, I've already forgotten who Eli Roth is, and am too lazy to scroll back up. It's a long scroll!

I have to go to Iron Man by myself, but my presence has been requested to attend the Sex and the City movie. Perhaps I'm hanging out with the wrong people.

Pity fuck:Danny Elfman. Creepy little genius man.

Tyranthesaurus Rex, I love your name more than a basket of puppies.

Skitts, you are so right about the spambot...but I recommend a Sam's Club-size barrel of marshmallow fluff along with the barbecue sauce.

Pity fuck? Barack Obama, coz he's yummy and unfortunately Rev. Wright seems to be on Hillary's payroll. Why won't he shut the fuck up?

Hey Brett: I'm with you. I love PJ's LOTR. I was dreading it before it came out, as I remembered all the previous versions, which all sucked. Then I read the Wall Street Journal review, which said, "Thank goodness Peter Jackson didn't fuck it up." But I do wish he'd added the Scouring of the Shire. It was nice to know there was NOT a happily ever after.

So, no lip from you LOTR haters. To repeat myself, go get your own vibrator.

I forgot that Towelhead was reviewed as having humor. I might wanna see that- as long as nothing unconsensual happens.

Crispin Glover as a cannibal? He'll always be the Thin Man to me. I was too young to appreciate him in the McFly movie. You can still get off my lawn, though.

Pity Frisk? Although I want to make a joke about Shia TheBeef and his supposed difficulty getting women, I can hardly believe it, so I'll go with Patrick Fugit. Someday, I will be cool.

1. I really enjoyed the first two LOTR films. REALLY enjoyed them. They were overlong but insanely fun.

2. Iron Man=whee!

3. Tyranthesaurus Rex: are you trying to whore me out?!

4. Pity fuck...Steve Buscemi. Cause he's badass.

Cindy- I'm with you on Adrien Brody. I haven't seen much of him in movies lately...because he's been chained up naked to my bedposts, covered in honey and graham crackers

And I'll jump in on the SpamBot pity fucking as well.

Many women excited to him. He is very talent. he is the most popular millionaire in celeb community
__ Bigblackconnect.com __ , many girls or women want to be spoiled by him.

Aaaaaand I rest my case, Sarah you flirty spambot

Pity fuck: I thought for a moment about Jonah Hill, but was then so repulsed at the thought that I was forced to rescind my offer

So, Dustin, nay interest in the Iron Man movie?

I cannot imagine a creepier combination than Glover and cannibalism, except for perhaps Crispin Glover and a children's birthday party.
Will the children's party be catered by cannibals as well?

I try very hard to impress our readers. I often stay awake nights trying to think up new ways to impress them. Sometimes I succeed, often I fail. But, I try. Very hard. And it's a good day for me when I succeed because these goddamn people mean the world to me.
Feel free to try a little harde for me.

that bees chick, Patrick Fugit is adorable!!

I dunno if I could pity anything him, as I believe he is still a bit younger than me (and that would be weird), but I can still gaze at him when I watch Saved!

thats not too weird....

and I also very much enjoyed the LOTR movies. sure, some scenes were streched out when there was no earthly reason why they should have been, but you will be hard-pressed to find an action film that doesn't have them

plus the "appendix" DVDs of the extended versions are just downright awesome (my mom and I geeked out about those...)

and honestly, what female (and some males) out there didn't swoon slightly at the long-haired bad-ass incredibly hot Viggo Mortensen as Aragorn?

BWeaves that's what I thought as well - that the book was just being split into two movies.

Todd for me it's RDJ. Drug problems aside, his particular brand of genius makes me insane.

Be Adequite! Set him free! He's got work to do at my place.

Jerce, if we're to add fluff to the mix, I'm bringing nutella. If I'm going to get so sticky the over-chlorinated motel pool cannot un-stick me, I at least want to be delicious.

A children's birthday party catered by cannibals ... in other words, a chidren's birthday party? Some of the kids I've watched are little better than famished wolves.

I've read the LOTR, and seen all three movies. Apart from Tom Bombadil and the Scouring of the Shire, I've little to quibble about.

Unattractive Pity Fuck (Female Division): My sister-in-law's sister. She looks like her skin's on too tight.

Wow, in the midst of my Roth Rage I read The Forlorn as being about cannibalism and Danny Glover.

Jerce, if we're to add fluff to the mix, I'm bringing nutella.

Wait. Can you do that? Nutella and fluff? Really? Where do you go to get a new pancreas afterward?

Julie--

You know, I considered Steve Buscemi, because I think he's brilliant, but I just can't get past the scrawniness. Oh, and the whole wood-chipper thing.

I also considered Quintin Tanantino--not that he's that brilliant, but with all of his kinks, he probably has a hard time convincing women to stick around long. But he seems like an asshole, so no.

I'd have to go with Jack Black. I have a soft spot for chubby hairy guys.

On a semi-related note:

Dear Pajiba,
I have a thing for Anthony Bourdain. I have no idea whether I should be ashamed of it or not, because the typical "hot guys" (see Clooney, Pitt, DiCaprio) don't do it for me (seriously, I lean toward the Norm MacDonalds and Craig Charles-es). So is this something I should own freely, or keep to my own freaky self?
Sincerely,
Attracted to the Opposite of Sexy

Jeez you people are sex-starved. Stay on target!

Iron Man. Tomorrow.

I'm hating you as hard as I can right now, Alex. I'm squinching my eyes shut and willing you to miss it, so I might see it before you. I must see Iron Man before everyone I know. Even as we speak, my associates have tracked all of you down and are sabotaging your cars. Don't worry, they're just cutting your gas lines.

Except for TK...they're planting turkey hormones all over your car.

Pity Fuck? Don't believe in em. Pity Fucks are for losers...and they're so vanilla. No chains or handcuffs anywhere. No fun.

Although the spambot sounds real sexy...hey baby...

Frumpiefox, do NOT be ashamed. I believe a number of Pajibans, myself included, find Bourdain sexy. I loved his book Kitchen Confidential, he is so damned funny. And dirty. Two things that, to me, immediately make someone attractive.

Least attractive PF?

Wow -- and nobody has said "Perez Hilton" yet? People -- have you no eyes?

Julie, you should read 'Don't Try This at Home'. It's a book full of chef stories about their culinary disasters, including one from Bourdain. The ending few stories are not as good but I was laughing loud enough on the subway to garner cautious stares.

Chains and handcuffs? Hee, Shadows, I love when your inner freak comes out to play.

Twig: !!! I never heard of that book, I am putting a hold on it at my library RIGHT NOW.

Eeeeeuuuugh, Quentin Tarentino!?! I bet he has hamster-face when he climaxes. Guhhhh nooooooo image engraved in my braaaaaaain.

Crispin Glover has signed onto The Forlorn, a movie focusing on the infamous Donner Party
I clapped my hands and laughed maniacally at this news. I guess it's a good thing I'm at home alone, and only managed to frighten the dog.

"Hamster face"?

No, don't tell me. I'm not going to look it up either.

Julie: just make sure you pronounce Steve's name right. I'm sure he's got a thick skin by now but...

haven't I warned you people about mentioning really good books, which I then must add to my reading list because I just cannot turn down a good book?!

HAVEN'T I??

my reading list is getting longer then my netflix queue, and that is saying something!

I am not going to have any free time for months....

you all suck

[glares at Julie, frumpiefox and twig....]

"Then there's this: Crispin Glover has signed onto The Forlorn, a movie focusing on the infamous Donner Party, a group of 1840 settlers who got trapped in a snowstorm in the Sierra Nevada and ultimately resorted to cannibalism to survive. I cannot imagine a creepier combination than Glover and cannibalism, except for perhaps Crispin Glover and a children's birthday part."

I'm sorry, in which universe is there not a line around the corner for this movie? SO PSYCHED.

Sorry Bethy--I'm a librarian, I guess I force books on people without even meaning to :)

I hadn't even thought about the freaky faces Tarantino might make. Let's be grateful he never casts himself as someone who actually gets any.

Russell Brand is a god. It freaks me out that he's getting popular on the other side of the pond. Every time I see him in American news media I'm a little freaked out.

[just to piss off Bethy, a list of books I recently read and enjoyed, muah ha ha]

Neverwhere, Neil Gaiman
Water for Elephants, Sara Gruen
Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close, Jonathan Safron Foer
Persepolis, Marjane Satrapi
The Mist, Stephen King (re-read for funsies)
I Am the Messenger, Markus Zusak

I can't wait for my week at the Jersey Shore, I am going to read 18 books in the few hours a day that I'm not drinking or building sand castles.

"Persepolis" is wonderful! I've been waffling about seeing the film version because I'm afraid it won't hold up to the book.

Least attractive PF?
Wow -- and nobody has said "Perez Hilton" yet? People -- have you no eyes?

The query was "Pity Fucks," not "Railroad Spikes, Blowtorch, Razor Blades and Rubbing Alcohol."

I wouldn't touch Perez Hilton with your...No, never mind.

frumpiefox, as the book sounds great, I suppose I will forgive you. this time.....

Julie, you suck
and not only because you listed off a stream of awesome sounding books

[looks out window into driving rain and daydreams about being on the beach drinking reading and building sand castles....]

Quentin Tarentino?

Shovelhead? NO! No no no no no no no no no...

Ewwww...

twig, if your system can handle the two seperately, especially the fluff, it can handle ANYTHING.

Julie, Water for Elephants is an amazing book! Just finished it.

Btw, it's beautiful here, guys! Come join me in the SoCal sunshine!

So I wasn't the only one who read it as Danny Glover? As an old timey settler sheriff who's (As usual) Too old for this. The man has been playing the 'too old for this' card for 30 years. Also, I wish I could think of a woman for a pity fuck. As far as the dudes go, I think Conan O'Brien needs a little sumpin' sumpin'. Poor little guy getting bumped up to Leno's spot. THEY JUST WON'T UNDERSTAND!!

One the upside, you might just be able to get away with foot-fucking Tarantino, you know. You'd have to bleach your foot afterwards because Godtopus only knows where he's been, kinky bastard, but you wouldn't necessarily have to be all face to face and have him up in your business, as it were.

And really, Perez Hilton? That fat wad of badly dyed pomp? I'm convinced that underneath his clothes he's just a giant expanded tampon with someone's hand shoved up his ass to make his mouth move.

The worst person I can imagine giving a pityfuck to is the maintenance guy at my apartment complex who's had an obvious crush on me for a year. He alternates between nappy-headed and jheri-curled without ever hitting any kind of reasonable happy medium, and every time he talks to me he has this fixed bright smile on his face like he's trying to imitate Billy Dee Williams in a Colt 45 commercial. It creeps me out that this person has keys to my apartment.

nonplussed

/nonplusst/

-- USAGE In standard English nonplussed means 'surprised and confused'.

Sorry, it just drives me nuts. Ok, everyone can go about their business now.

Steve Buscemi.

Because he's insane....and...ohgod. oh god no. No, no I didn't say that. Oh God I just imagined him with his face three inches away from mine and I just completely freaked out. Oh man. Ok no, sorry, Steve. Sorry. Ugh. I'm sorry.

Yeah I can't think of anyone else.

ajax19, it's not just that ad; they also have them for The Hottie and the Nottie, which I mean - who on this site is even going to look at that ad for more than a minute before gouging their own eyes out with a fork, not to mention click on it or, godtopus-forgive me for saying this as an option, BUY the damn movie.

I love this site, but they don't seem too discriminating when it comes to ads.

"FOR THE LOVE OF GODTOPUS WILL YOU PLEASE GET RID OF THAT FUCKING FRONTIERS UNRATED DOT COM AD?
It's been showing up on the left side of my screen everytime I stop by here for over a week now. (You know the one with the maniac-looking dude tying the girl to the bend and then going to work on her achilles heel with the bolt cutters?)
I don't like it. At all.
Posted by: ajax19 at April 29, 2008 9:28 AM

It scares the crap out of me, too. I actually shut my left eye and put my hand over it, and then try to just read the right side of the screen with my right eye, until I can scroll down. Heh. It's fiddly but it almost works.

If you think Crispin Glover at a children's birthday party is creepy, have you read his children's books? Seriously, he wrote two children's books Oakmot & Rat Catching. And he put out an album where he reads excerpts from them!!

Creepy fantastic!

I just got back from a sneak preview of Iron Man, and while I can't give anything away, it rivals Spiderman 2 as teh best marvel movee!!!!1

Honestly, a movie you can almost forget is adapted from a comic, it is that good people.

I hate Russell Brand. Hate hate hate. He wrote a book called 'My Bookie Wook' and we are meant to applaud him for some shitty stand up and being famous for pretty much fuck all. And don't even get me started on his hair....creepy birds nest...mumble mumble.....gets back into bed.....

Russel Brand= unfunny + wanker

pity fuck, Willian H. Macy and his puppy dog looks, you would imagine he would fumble and apologise whilst "on the job"

I just got back from a sneak preview of Iron Man, and while I can't give anything away, it rivals Spiderman 2 as teh best marvel movee!!!!1 Honestly, a movie you can almost forget is adapted from a comic, it is that good people.

It is a true mark of Pajiba's rising star that the site is attracting plants like this.

I feel so proud.

Good for him. But just saw him at ___S e e k i n g R i c h . c o m---last week. What is he looking for on that site.

And vegetables like Lucy.

If we're getting female spambots named Sarah and Lucy then y'all are going to need to rethink the fluff and nutella. Sugar crystals are hell on the vadge and a yeast infection waiting to happen. A poon-cheese Fluffernutter is just gonna be gross.

Wow that was close. Right when my mouth was full of vanilla Zero.

I've heard of people bringing pasta into the festivities. Even if there's no sauce it was still more senseless than gross to me. How do you sex that up?

No, do not tell me. I'm content being confused about it.

In somewhat related news: boy is "Dry" a well made album (since that is what she meant by "dry"). Even when ripped out to little wma's to take for a walk it still sounds great. I'm still a bit sad the trio got divorced so soon.