It's Called an Ounce of Shame -- Look Into It
"Rules of Engagement" / Ted Boynton
After I turned in my review of Lone Star and the first Boozehound Cinephile Guide — yes, I said “first”; did someone mention Withnail & I? — Beloved Leader Dustin started making little comments. Nothing over-the-top; just the odd passive-aggressive snip: “So you like Swingers. That’s deep.” Or, “It must be great just writing about quality cinema all the time.” Or, “What did you think of the ‘Grey’s Anatomy’ recap … bitch?”
Well, fine. Pajiba is about the scathing and the bitchy, and today I turn the hose on myself and my dark secret: Sometimes I sneak home early from work, mix up a Vesper, and cue up the upstairs TiVo, where I record my programs that the missus just can’t tolerate: “South Park,” “Human Giant” and the like. And on that TiVo is my secret shame: CBS sitcom “Rules of Engagement.”
For those lucky enough not to know, “Rules of Engagement” — “RoE” for the cool kids — is a slice of well-masticated sitcom pie, pulled straight from the everlasting “Friends” icebox and now enjoying a second season after its February 2007 premiere. “RoE” follows an ensemble of New York City denizens plugging along in various stages of romantic relationships. Patrick Warburton and Megyn Price play a late-30s married couple, as-of-yet childless but firmly settled into familiar, easily ridiculed married life. As the show kicks off, recently engaged Oliver Hudson and Bianca Kajlich (both formerly of “Dawson’s Creek”) form a couples’ friendship with Warburton and Price after moving into their building. Warburton and Hudson are also chums with confirmed bachelor and abuser of women’s trust Russell (David Spade), whose rotating one-night stands help catalyze the ol’ joke converter.
“RoE” is, in many ways, every bit as dire as the foregoing description suggests. The flaws in this risk-free, by-the-numbers exercise are readily apparent: the recycled gender humor, the grating laugh track, the painful moments of inter-gender cute … it can be a tad much. To beef up the indictment, “RoE’s” lead-in is “Two and a Half Men,” so one can surmise the network’s opinion of the intellect required to appreciate “RoE.” The target demographic appears to consist of lobotomy patients for whom eating paint chips is a welcome diversion from searching for UFO signals in their own drool patterns. And don’t even get me started on the dreadful theme song. Oy, the humanity.
Despite the shitcom trappings, however, “RoE” has unexpected “oomph.” Exhibits A, B and C: You just can’t go wrong with Patrick Warburton. Anything featuring The Tick automatically gets a look, which is how I ended up in this nowhere relationship in the first place. Warburton is such a likeable, barrel-chested lug that his impeccable comic timing and drily sneered one-liners continue to surprise all these years later. Much of the show’s charm comes from the genuinely funny discussions among the boys at a nearby diner where Warburton holds court, educating Hudson about marriage and ridiculing Spade’s pathetic whoring. (Unlike George, Elaine, and Kramer, Puddy apparently escaped “Seinfeld” with a handful of magic beans.)
Warburton and Price also provide a steady supply of droll but pinchy observations about marital bliss. “RoE” gives a warm, humorous picture of the compromises required and comforts afforded once a couple figures out what marriage is really all about: trying not to annoy the hell out of each other and once in a while really coming through for the other person.
Another selling point is “RoE’s” departure from the spate of Mr.-Tubby-marries-Hottie-McHottiepants fantasies: “The King of Queens,” “According to Jim,” “Still Standing,” et al. Not only are Price and Warburton a good physical match, both are weight-appropriate, non-glam people you might meet at work or on the street. Even better, female leads Price and Kajlich have healthy female physiques that don’t hint at acid-eaten tooth enamel. Price is a full-figured gal in the most loving sense of that phrase, and Kajlich, while quite pretty, sports a womanly spread in the rear area. Her character is more real and likeable for that — ol’ Ted loves some good Party Platform! — just as Warburton’s slight gut literally and figuratively fleshes out his character. Hudson is a bit of a pretty boy, but haven’t we all had to kick that guy’s ass once or twice in real life? By and large, they seem pretty much like real folk.
Which brings us to David Spade, whose certificate of deposit with Satan apparently has not matured. The phrase “long in the tooth” comes to mind seeing Spade in this role, though his age-inappropriate horndoggery provides some of the funniest bits for his character. His star has faded, but honor is due our scathing, bitchy forebears. Spade was a snark pioneer in his “SNL” and Tommy Boy days, and his celebrity gossip segment during “SNL’s” Weekend Update was the forerunner of “The Soup” and other fame-whore bitch-slaps too numerous to count. When the Museum of Smartass History inducts its initial class, Spade will be a first ballot shoo-in, and “RoE” uses him appropriately, limiting his screen time and generally putting him in safe situations bouncing off Warburton and Hudson.
Sometimes a few unambitious positives are enough: some pretty good jokes delivered with panache by actors I like, along with a large drink and the smoldering remains of last night’s fattie. “RoE” is my inconsiderate boyfriend who brays about how cool he is, double-dips his chips, and rests his hand inside his belt as we sit on the sofa. Once a week I let him have sex with me anyway because of his predilection for making snide, amusing comments.
Ted Boynton is a dedicated sot who would leave his barstool only to stalk Whit Stillman, if anyone could find Whit Stillman. Ted also manages to hold down a job and a wife, three hours each per day, whether they need it or not. PaddyDog may scold, hector, admonish or taunt Ted by e-mailing him at thecarygrantrules@hotmail.com.
The Year of Living Biblically | | Pajiba Love 11/20/07
Comments
Sorry. I tried this show a few times and just couldn't get into it. I have nothing against it,I just don't care.
Posted by: rlr260 at November 20, 2007 2:49 PM
Ted, I don't know whether to applaud the bravery of your self-exposure or call you on your incredibly bad taste. Can I do both?
Major flaw in this show-- women having sex with David Spade, even a character played by him, is beyond plausible.
Posted by: amea_gari at November 20, 2007 2:58 PM
This is a show that I like. Warburton and Spade are fucking hilarious! Kudos to Ted, your review was bitchy and to the point. Thats the Pajiba that I like. *Cheers*
Posted by: Travka at November 20, 2007 3:07 PM
do not forget amea_gari that Spade was banging Heather Locklear for a while last year. And he was involved with Kristy Swanson, Lara Flynn Boyle, and even Teri Hatcher for a time.
Deal with the devil indeed.
Posted by: Andrew831 at November 20, 2007 3:28 PM
"Major flaw in this show-- women having sex with David Spade, even a character played by him, is beyond plausible."
amea_gari---you may be suprised what really happens in Hollywood then. Spade lands hot chicks in "real life" with regularity. Julie Bowen...Heather Locklear...the list goes on and on...
Posted by: SR at November 20, 2007 3:35 PM
Now I really have a reason to scold, hector and admonish you (and yes, I'm wearing the leather bra with the nipple studs!). What's with the the "childless" comment? You should be above this. why must couples in their 30s+ who don't have children be described as "childless couples" as if they are missing something vital and therefore cannot just be "a couple". Some of us have chosen not to procreate and we feel quite whole and not "less" anything. Don't make me come out there!!!
Paddy: For you and only for you, I will clarify. Mrs. socalled and I are firmly childless by choice; the as-of-yet phraseology was merely intended as an implicit commentary on sitcom conventions . . . but come out here if you must, you minx. tb
Posted by: PaddyDog at November 20, 2007 3:50 PM
Well PaddyDog if the old saying 'only stupid people are breeding' is true, then by you not procreating you are dooming society to the kind of world as seen in Idiocracy, so you MUST be shamed for your inactive reproductive organs. Or something.
Posted by: Andrew831 at November 20, 2007 3:54 PM
I have not seen the show this year, but caught some of last years episodes and I believe the "late 30-somthing couple" was/is trying to get pregnant, so it is ok in this instance to say "as yet childless".
Posted by: lickoriche at November 20, 2007 4:24 PM
Wow, this whole review was just so filled with snark you didn't have to appreciate the individual sentences. An aura of snark just radiated off it that could be basked in. Very Pajiban Ted, I love your reviews.
Posted by: Tiki at November 20, 2007 4:26 PM
""RoE" is my inconsiderate boyfriend who brays about how cool he is, double-dips his chips, and rests his hand inside his belt as we sit on the sofa. Once a week I let him have sex with me anyway because of his predilection for making snide, amusing comments."
Ahahahaha! Ted I just loved your review, and I too love Puddy, in everything I have seen him in. I will have to see this show.
I have a soft spot for Spade too, especially as Finch on Just Shoot Me.
Posted by: Loob at November 20, 2007 4:55 PM
How awesome is Patrick Warburton? He's so awesome that we live, every day, because HE allows us to. Why? 'cause he's motherfucking Brock Sampson,
THAT'S WHY!
As far as this...mmm..program...I don't recognize its existence, at all.
Posted by: BarbadoSlim at November 20, 2007 5:07 PM
I also love me some Patrick Warburton, and for his sake I gave the show a watch, even though it looked terrible. And... it was terrible. Really, really terrible. The jokes were just a bunch of cliched gender humour, and the David Spade character seemed like a cheap knockoff of the Neil Patrick Harris character on How I Met Your Mother. And while I might have believed the David Spade of 10 years ago getting a string of women to sleep with him, this David Spade, with this awful haircut and slezy looking facial hair? Give me a break.
And while it is nice to see female leads with realistic physiques, I think "full-figured" is a bit of a stretch.
I just watched the November 19 episode, and "full-figured" is absolutely fair and deliciously arousing. Megyn Price has some rounded heft in the middle and rear. She's healthy, not fat, and I love every inch of her. tb
Posted by: roses at November 20, 2007 5:22 PM
I refuse to believe that Spade didn't get his ass kicked in school EVERY. SINGLE DAY.
His faux "don't give a shit" attitude is soooo transparent. I bet he was smarmy little asshole in school and now he's just an ugly, bitter, midget tool.
Posted by: BarbadoSlim at November 20, 2007 5:30 PM
Bianca Kajlich is the only redeeming part of this show. va-voom.
Posted by: seriously though at November 20, 2007 5:37 PM
And yet he got some Heather Locklear. And she seems to still like him, since she's guest-starred on the show several times. Heh.
Great review. I watch the show too. And yes, those women have some awesome curves, God bless 'em.
Brock Sampson rules.
Posted by: Meander at November 20, 2007 5:39 PM
I Love RoE!!! My husband & I (40) have watched the show since it began. I enjoy the "stupid humor", the corny jokes and so on because the actors are so enjoyable.
We're also child free by choice.
Posted by: Petite at November 20, 2007 6:14 PM
I'm not sure I even allow that Heather Locklear is a real woman. She looks manufactured, to me.
And while we're at it, Lara Flynn Boyle...
Posted by: amea_gari at November 20, 2007 6:15 PM
Oh, and let's remember, even Michael Jackson has been married. Do we actually believe there was sex involved? I mean sex between him and the woman?
Posted by: amea_gari at November 20, 2007 6:18 PM
Heather Locklear not a real woman? She has been for most of the male population for the last 20 or 30 years. And MJ only had one semi-attractive chick to his name, Spade has several over a long period. I'll grant you Lara Flynn Boyle though.
He gets women above his socially accepted level, and I hate him for it.
Posted by: Andrew831 at November 20, 2007 9:20 PM
Maybe that episode of "Just Shoot Me" where Elliott and George find out that Finch has a huge penis was some sort of inside joke.
Posted by: Geetch at November 20, 2007 9:48 PM
Two confessions to make:
First, I kind of like Two and a Half Men. I don't think it's nearly as bad as our collective supposed intellect and good taste would have us believe. I don't seek it out, but it provides a few laughs when I catch it on my non-cable having tv in the kitchen during my town's insufferable local news.
Second, I would probably sleep with David Spade if only he were taller. He cracks me the hell up.
I don't think I'm allowed to post here anymore so I bid you all a fond farewell.
Posted by: tinmo at November 21, 2007 12:00 AM
BarbadoSlim, usually you and I are at polar opposites, but I'm with you now. David Spade can bite my ass. Except he'd enjoy it.
So, I don't know. He's about as attractive as Matt Lucas - except without any of the talent.
Posted by: dot at November 21, 2007 1:15 AM
Megyn Price is ever so hot. I wish she were my mom. Or better neighbor. She and Kevin Corrigan are the only reason I watch Grounded for Life reruns.
Posted by: Jeff K at November 21, 2007 5:54 AM
tinmo: don't fret, I like Two and a Half Men, too. For all the bashing that show gets, we must not be the only ones, otherwise that show wouldn't still be on the air.
"Even better, female leads Price and Kajlich have healthy female physiques that don't hint at acid-eaten tooth enamel."
Also one of the things I like about RoE, and the same can be said of the female leads in 'Til Death.
Posted by: Olivia at November 21, 2007 9:33 AM
Ummmmmmmmm, I can't believe I'm doing this. I find David Spade attractive. Certainly not in the conventional, Brad Pitt kind of way, but I love funny, snarky guys. Hence, I have crushes on many of the Pajibans here. (grin) HEY - I FEEL A COMMENT DIVERSION...can we do the five people we are ashamed to admit we find attractive? I don't know about the rest of you, but I have several examples. Maybe I'm just weird...k, I'll shut up now.
Posted by: jessi1974 at November 21, 2007 10:39 AM
I have to admit that I haven't even heard of this show, but I think I'm gonna have to catch it just for Megyn. She is beyond hot, and the only real reason I enjoyed Grounded for Life (Donal Logue is okay as an actor, but he can't really carry a show by himself)
Posted by: Shadows of Dakaron at November 21, 2007 12:07 PM
I just finished watching an episode of this show online and it is god-awful. I watched the episode where the engaged guy's mom came to town and the only time I even smiled was when they joked about Spade's pathetic physique. This truly is a secrect shame on your part socalledonlycousins. On the other hand, I can understand such shame because I have watched every episode of "Shot at Love, with Tila Tequila".
Posted by: Handel at November 21, 2007 1:01 PM
"Two and a Half Men" does NOT suck. It delivers solid (and often good and raunchy) laughs every single week and it holds up well in reruns (save for the aging of the the Half - which is in the credits).
And Megyn Price clearly brings her own audience - I watched every single "Grounded for Life" in first run and I still Tivo it occasionally.
Posted by: Meander at November 21, 2007 6:51 PM
"Two and a Half Men" does NOT suck. It delivers solid (and often good and raunchy) laughs every single week and it holds up well in reruns (save for the aging of the the Half - which is in the credits).
And Megyn Price clearly brings her own audience - I watched every single "Grounded for Life" in first run and I still Tivo it occasionally.
Posted by: Meander at November 21, 2007 6:52 PM
Ted, good for you for admitting what I think too many high-brow ciritics are afraid to admit--you like something that isn't "acclaimed", it's just funny. "Rules" has actual jokes. It's escapist and it makes me laugh at least 3-4 times in 22 minutes which is way more than the "edgy", "quirky", "cool", single-camera NBC dreck has ever been able to do. And guess what, we're not the only ones, none of those NBC shows get ratings (for the aforementioned critics, that's probably a vote in their favor as they love to denegrate the opinions and tastes of the masses between the coasts). As they mentioned on the Emmys last year, "Scrubs has finally convinced people that sitcoms aren't supposed to be funny." I beg to differ. And Megyn Price is one of the sexiest, smartest, funniest, and most talented women on TV.
Posted by: Fignuisance at November 23, 2007 2:42 PM