Take a Walk on the Mild Side
The Rocker / Agent Bedhead
Oh, Rainn Wilson, you adorable schmuck. This particular film review holds a vague air of schmaltzy sentimental value for me, for the very first Pajiban film review (ha!) that I endured was for The Last Mimzy, in which Wilson tiptoed into the small role of a skeptical, dorky high-school science teacher. At the time, I had no fucking idea who the dude was, for I am one of the poor, unfortunate souls for whom the television set holds very little value. Thus, for the duration of “The Office,” I have, unlike many of you, held little connection to Rainn Wilson. However, I was somewhat determined to, if possible, enter this review with at least some benefit of perspective as to what made this guy so appealing, since the audience for this film will, undoubtedly, be composed largely of Dwight Schrute fans. While I am somewhat embarrassed to report that I am now a Shrute convert, this also works a double-edged pocket protector in the sense that it makes the movie more disappointing than it would have been on a dry run. As a result, I held the vain hope that the “pocket of puke” scene featured in trailers wasn’t an indicator of how entirely hurl-inducing this film’s general sense of humor would be.
Dammit, this is not an eight-foot sub.
The Rocker is invested with a lot of talent, including director Peter Cattaneo, whose display of skill in The Full Monty led a movie about unemployed, out-of-shape, one-off male strippers to four Oscar nominations (but just one win for Best Score, since it was the year of the almighty and overrated Titanic). As a similarly lighthearted comedy with a few hidden life lessons, The Rocker would have ideally served as a decent starring vehicle for Wilson, who ends up rocking that pocket of puke as far as he possibly can, which isn’t far, considering the limited humor involved with bodily fluids. This isn’t to say that Wilson doesn’t try, because he obviously possesses comedic talent and the slightly off-kilter charisma to pull it off. The laughs just aren’t to be found in this particular film, which is also a shame in that Will “I’ve Made A Huge Mistake” Arnett (who seems to have a hit-and-miss record in choosing projects) is very competent here and clearly, enjoyed dressing up in leopard-print pants a bit too much. As is the case in so many other comedies, the fault lies mostly with the film’s immature script, which was penned by Maya Forbes and Wallace Wolodarsky and based upon a story by Ryan Jaffe.
Essentially, this is a film about a rockin’ dude, who never really grew up but has now reached a clichéd version of mid-life crisis. Two decades ago, Robert “Fish” Fishman (Wilson) was the drummer for Vesuvius, a Cleveland-based glam metal band, who was on the verge of making it, selling out, and bagging the babes. However, one condition to securing a record deal was that Vesuvius rid themselves of their drummer. So, the band mates (Arnett, Fred Armisen, and Bradley Cooper) tell him to get lost, and Fish begrudgingly resigns himself to the passive-aggressive glory of office-cubicle life. After toiling away for 20 years, Fish gets fired from his latest job and has to shack up with in the attic of his sister’s family home. One day, his nephew, Matt (Josh Gad), begs Fish to take over the drums for his band’s (named A.D.D.) prom gig. Although Matt’s band mates, Curtis (Teddy Geiger) and Amelia (Emma Stone, channeling fellow droll redheads Alicia Witt and Laura Prepon) don’t immediately take to this weird old guy that solves all hair problems with ” A little bit of love, a lot of product,” Fish ends up sticking around. Naturally, one performance is not enough, and through lazy screenwriting, Fish ends up rehearsing with the band and, not quite understanding that by the power of video cam, he’s recording himself while playing the drums naked. Through the magic of YouTube, this video goes viral, and, the band rises to ubiquity and, ultimately, Fish has to deal with his feelings of inadequacy and confront his old band mates, blah fucking blah.
As an audience, we might as well just consign ourselves to the fact that any film geared towards the YouTube Generation will necessarily contain YouTube as a plot-pushing device. After all, filmmakers still, apparently, consider the Internet to be a relative novelty. Of course, no crappy comedy would be complete without some contrived romance, which comes in the form of Fish hitting on his lead singer’s mom, played by Christina Applegate, who doesn’t seem any more enthused about this role than we do at realizing that Kelly fucking Bundy is now old enough to be a teenager’s mother.
Yes, it is late August, and the theaters are now a dumping ground for all the crap that couldn’t compete against the summer blockbusters. However, audiences shouldn’t settle by merely shrugging and accepting films that are “a good way to pass the time” or are better than, say, spending two hours getting a root canal. The Rocker is no way to spend those Schrute bucks.
Agent Bedhead (a.k.a. “Kimberly”) lives in Tulsa, Oklahoma. She can be found at agentbedhead.com.
Encounters at the End of the World | | Elegy |
Comments
Wow, this is disappointing. I, too, have never watched The Office as I cannot abide network television, but have always adored Wilson in his little indie bit parts. I had hoped he'd have what it took to carry a film on his own - maybe someday with a better script or a better cast?
I was just hoping this would be somewhat decent. Sounds like it fell short. Bummer.
Posted by: bibliophile at August 21, 2008 3:00 PM
Disappointing? Yes.
Surprising? No.
Posted by: TK at August 21, 2008 3:09 PM
No one can beat Jack Black in the rocker/loser category. NO ONE.
And if there's no Dio cameo, it's shite.
Posted by: boo at August 21, 2008 3:14 PM
Just write a damn Dwight movie already and get it out of the way. He was mildly entertaining in Sahara, blew shit in Juno, and is unrelentingly hilarious as Dwight. The proverbial see-saw is firmly tilted to one side. Your move Hollywood.
Posted by: tommy at August 21, 2008 3:19 PM
No one can beat Jack Black in the rocker/loser category.
Remember, he's no longer in Sonic Death Monkey. He almost became Kathleen Turner Overdrive, but just for tonight, he's Barry Jive and his Uptown Five.
:cue Let's Get It On:
Posted by: Julie at August 21, 2008 3:27 PM
the fact that neither Sonic Death Monkey, nor Kathleen Turner Overdrive have become real bands is a crying shame... a crying shame, people.
Posted by: missh at August 21, 2008 3:34 PM
and in a mildly related way, I still like Meryl Streep as a band name (thank you Cheap Girls)
Posted by: missh at August 21, 2008 3:37 PM
Am I the only one that found School of Rock to be a little bit creepy? At least this one doesn't involve any elementary school kids.
Posted by: jvon at August 21, 2008 3:40 PM
I didn't like School of Rock... but then I haven't liked a lot of what Jack Black has done since High Fidelity. Too much of the yelling. Always with the yelling.
Posted by: missh at August 21, 2008 3:43 PM
I love "The Office." I love Dwight. I want to love this movie. Like I wanted to love "Walk Hard." I have a thing for rocker movies (even rocker spoofs) because I was an amateur groupie with local bands at my college (meaning I was in love with a guitarist in one of our local bands and sufficed my love for him by dating musicians in other local bands). I now just live vicariously through rock movies. Why, oh, why do rock movies keep end up being bad? I know most people probably think "Almost Famous" is overrated now, but that movie made me want to be an entertainment journalist (and helps me continue to live vicariously through "band aids" "groupies" "fans" or whatever girls who chase rockers are called nowadays, and it was a decent look at the music world. Wake me up when they make a rock/rap/hip hop/r&b/musician movies that is worth the one night stand I'll have with someone afterwards to re-live my youth.
Posted by: Raye Raye at August 21, 2008 3:47 PM
Raye Raye:
Watch It's All Gone Pete Tong.
Posted by: Bucko at August 21, 2008 3:55 PM
Dang.
I really wanted this to be surprisingly funny... But sadly, it would seem that, that just can't be possible.
Well, if anything the stuff from the "Free Jenna Now" marketing ploy was hilarious. (For those unfamiliar, Rainn has "kidnapped" Jenna and stuck her in the trunk of Dwight's car saying that he won't release her unless his film makes 18.7 million dollars opening weekend)
Sigh.
Maybe NBC is only allowing Office actors and actresses to do mostly mediocre stuff so that they can never really become huge mega stars and they have to live in Scranton forever?
The world may never know...
Posted by: Kayanne at August 21, 2008 4:07 PM
raye raye, may I also recommend brothers of the head? it fills that oh-so-specialized punk rock conjoined twins niche in the film world.
Posted by: melia at August 21, 2008 4:51 PM
Why is it that every time YouTube comes up in a movie the reaction tends to be "Not another lame attempt at appearing trendy"?
I don't remember this being the case when people started using the internet in movies (although Hollywood's interpretation of "The Net" is still just hilarious to watch).
Is it because we know that, in a year or so, any reference to anything on the internet will be groan-inducingly dated?
Or is it that a movie paying homage to the power of YouTube is like a book about how awesome TV is?
All the while you're just thinking: "They have a point, I could be wasting my time much more efficiently."
Posted by: Macafee at August 21, 2008 5:19 PM
This is too bad. I was really cheering for Emma Stone to be a hollywood 'it' girl that I didn't want to punch in the face. She just seems so chill, you know? But two bad summer movies (she's in the house bunny, which I know will be bad but I'm going to see anyway so suck it) is a lot to overcome.
Posted by: Marra at August 21, 2008 5:47 PM
Marra, when it comes to The House Bunny, it just looks like a dumber version of Legally Blonde, but I might see it because I like Colin Hanks.
I'm another one who can't get into The Office, so I wasn't going to see this anyway. I remember Rainn from 6 Feet Under, and he wasn't bad in that.
Posted by: Brie at August 21, 2008 6:00 PM
I'm just gonna come out and say it since NONE, ...none, of you pussies have the cojones (I'm aware of the contradiction so CRAM IT UP YOUR BUTTS), Rainn Wilson is the biggest crock of shit since that fat guy from "Head of the Class."
And the same goes for the faux/ironic/witty/ pseudoGarofalo/post Lohan.... SKANK they have spouting "snark" on this crapfest.
PS: I'd still tap that ass though.
Posted by: BarbadoSlim at August 21, 2008 6:44 PM
I partially agree with BarbadoSlim (except that I wouldn't tap that). Rainn Wilson is a huge crock of S, and a huge crock of S hilarious in small doses. He should be limited on how much screen time he gets, because soon the world will have seen too much of Dwight and that will be the end.
As for the discussion of Jack Black vs Rainn Wilson as delusional wanna-be rockstars, Jack Black wins. He's playing himself.
Posted by: Danny on Trial at August 21, 2008 7:11 PM
Wait, is Slim saying he'll tap Rainn Wilson's ass?
Posted by: Optimus Rhyme at August 22, 2008 12:55 AM
Dwight Schrute? Bah, I've known about Ranin Wilson ever since he was on Six Feet Under as Arthur, the awkward intern. God, that show was incredible. Though I'd rather go for a film like this then Lauren Ambrose's Jezebel James show.
Oops! I said the name of "that show!" *Spins in a circle, spits and squawks like a chicken.*
Posted by: Kamikaze Feminist at August 22, 2008 10:11 AM
Isn't Christina Applegate only 36? I mean that's not really old enough for a teenager...right? I mean unless her character was preggers at 19 or 20? Uhg...I feel old.
Posted by: griffimx at August 22, 2008 3:03 PM
Slim (and Danny), THANK YOU for saying that!!!! I can't stand Rainn Wilson!! He gets on my nerves and looks like a fetal alcohol syndrome baby. At least I'm not the only one who doesn't like him!!
Posted by: Mistress Violet at August 22, 2008 7:31 PM
Yeah, God (or Godtopus...whatever tickles your pickle) help me against all the people who love The Office and whatnot, but Rainn Wilson is right up there with Dan Fogler and that little bastard kid from Hancock (the one who hits him to say "Bad guys!") on the most hatred of people who should stay far the fuck away from all forms of entertainment in general.
To me, The Office is only identifiable with people who really are that bored as a cubicle worker. That show is so fuckin' boring, and every actor seems to be pushing for that "hey, look what I say and do, 'cause I'm trying to be funny!"
Steve Carrell, who I really do appreciate (with his few hiccups, of course) is such a major let-down every time I see him on that show. Even in the trailers for the show (the ones they usually show on DVD TV Seasons) are so groan-inducing.
Wilson is, again speaking for myself here, a person so overrated no matter what the circumstance. Dwight is a total douchenozzle, and even in the small roles Wilson appears in get me slightly pissed off. Juno was a great movie (just kinda wished it hadn't set off the plethora of all the indie movies being made now), but even in that, Wilson brought it down a couple of points just because he was in it.
The fact that they gave this silly bastard his own starring role is beyond me. Wilson can crash and burn, much like this movie did.
Oh, and for the record, even in High Fidelity, Jack Black was still kind of a dick. That was one of his more better roles, but since then, I wouldn't mind if Black stopped appearing in movies. He just comes off to me as obnoxious now. Just because of his usual acting persona, he made me skip out on Kung Fu Panda altogether. He needs to do something different, 'cause comedy is starting to falter for his fat ass.
Last note (sorry this ran so damn long), ANY film that needs YouTube or Ask Jeeves or any of that other usual Internet bullshit to push it's film forward automatically knocks a lot of points on the quality of the film. It wasn't even a big part in Hancock, but just for the small instance it's featured in (where he chucks the whale) made me pissed off. Films never really had to rely on it previously...I just find that to be a really pathetic cop-out.
Posted by: Riley at August 24, 2008 1:28 AM
Can I say this without being mutilated? I didn't like Juno, at all. I'm all for little indie movies, and I had a major fem-boner for the movie as soon as I heard that Bateman and Cera were in it....
I just don't know.
I did see a special edition of the DVD in a giant Tic Tac case, and I was thinking of buying it just so I could fill it up with heaps of Tic Tacs.
I'll be giving this a miss.
But not the Tic Tacs.
Posted by: Bakers_dozen at August 24, 2008 7:02 AM
Don't worry Bakers, Juno and the stripper who wrote it, are the most overrated things since the two dollar handjob.
Posted by: BarbadoSlim at August 24, 2008 8:57 AM
Your mom's $2 hand-job is, if anything, very under rated.
You can't pop a fly ball and not expect someone to catch it.
Posted by: PyD at August 24, 2008 3:21 PM
Meh, my mom's whoring is well documented so feel free to run with it.
Posted by: BarbadoSlim at August 24, 2008 3:27 PM
no, it's eight one-foot subs.
Posted by: kate at August 29, 2008 8:24 PM
