Pajiba

...It's sort of sad how many people I know who will really want to see this movie. Strange how I'm actually friends with people who appreciate such fine cinema as Tokyo Drift.

I, however, will being making a point of avoiding such silliness, because despite my love of fast cars, I would rather just play Need for Speed. At least that requires some modicum of brain activity.

The definitive underground race movie has already been made, it's called Cannonball Run(I). This is just car porn, apart from the fact that hip-hop "artists" and douchebags have ruined the exotic car hobby.

Give me a '66 Mustang Fastback over a Lamborghini any day. Gotta say though, Eddie Griffin was da' bomb in Undercover Brother yo.'Love that movie.

Um...this might be the first time I've read a review on this site, and still didn't know what the movie was about. And it's not for lack of trying from AB, either. Surely, a 90 to 120 minute movie can't be about driving from one city to another, can it?

W-wha? Lemme make sure I'm on the right site... yeah, it's Pajiba... so where's the hostility guys? Haha, if there was one movie I was actually looking forward to ol' Pajiba rippin a new hole into, it was Redline, but all in all the critique is pretty timid *sigh*.

I took solace in the fact that this movie will do very poorly (at least I hope so, I really did not care for a new injection in the F&F car racing genre), and will only be seen by car nerds. You know who I'm talking about; "Nuh-uh, a Ferarri Testerosta could TOTALLY beat a Lamborghini in wet weather!"

To: eastshore4

Look dude, if Agent Bedhead LIKED the movie, he can't really trash the movie in the review. Not every review on Pajiba is negative.

to:shaun

The Agent is a "she".

(Shaun: Agent Bedhead = she.)

...comes from the Yasmeen Bleeth/Tiffani Amber Thiessen school of brunette...

Perfect way to categorize, if we must categorize. Of that school of brunette, I was sort of girl-crushy partial to Yancy Butler, though, in her day.

I have seen the trailer and found this crap laughable bad. Correction, just plain bad, not even laughable bad. The "actors" are so horrid, the dialogs... my first thought upon seeing the trailer was "my god, this is even worse than fast and furious"
i'm tired of all the "well, if you forget about the non-existent plot you might enjoy it etc."
i say, if you forget about the non-existent plot and enjoy that kind of crap, you're a brainless idiot.
just because it's an action movie doesn't mean it doesn't need a a plot. good action movies have plots. bad ones don't.
and to read almost a recommendation for this on pajiba... what's the world coming to.

hey barbadoslim, you bring your 66 stang , i`ll be in my 02 z06 we`ll race to vegas! car porn . a step or two above a chick flick..

In all fairness, Carlo is the only likable character in the entire movie and his hotness does go a long way toward compensating for Angus Macfadyen's unwise decision to remove his shirt.

I don't know why, but I actually burst out laughing when I read this. I think I scared the cat.

And as for the alleged lack of scathing-ousity (it's a word now) in this review, I think that's okay. You can be really inflamed and enraged by a dumbass movie. But you can also just recognize it for what it is, and not feel particularly offended by it.

I can't speak for Agent B, but that seems to be the case here. I maintain that low expectations are the secret to happiness, or at least reduced frustration.

I think this movie is so obviously bad that it's not really worth the effort to come up with a lot of zingers for the review. The description of the movie's story pretty much says it all- the 'hottest unsigned band on the West Coast'? Something about Eddie Griffin landing a plane in Nevada and demonstrating his pimp game? And an ass-kicking Iraqi war veteran to boot? All in the same movie?

This all just seems wrong in so many different ways.

I once dated a guy who was obsessed with "the Fast and the Furious" I must have seen that movie upwards of 30 times, all that came out of it was than I now involuntarily dig my nails into my palms every time Paul Walker comes on screen (which ruins Varsity Blues for me). I fucking hate movies like this. That being said I don't think this movie is truely deserving of scathing-ocity - from the sounds of it the makers were aware that it was never going to be anything more than car porn. It's like hating a Will Ferrel "comedy" for being dumb - it was never going to be anything else.

Exactly. I knew going in that this movie would suck more balls than Naveen Andrews' character in Grindhouse.

So I could tell you what you already know or make something of it. It wasn't so bad for a movie billed as pure trash.

And yeah, I would've used the cool italic-styled critical inserts in various comments to make those statements, but Dustin is still hazing me. ;-)

I knew going in that this movie would suck more balls than Naveen Andrews' character in Grindhouse.

Crickey! It's comments like that which'll speed up your promotion, I'm sure. Keep 'em coming, AB.

Movies like this are my guilty pleasure. I mean, why gamble with a movie that could be sub-par, when you know what you're paying for right away? Cars, women, and complete bad-assitude.

I'm just very happy that you used a Rob Zombie song for the name of the review. And I recognized it! Yay!

hi

My friend worked for a company owned by Daniel Sadek. Half the company was laid off because he wanted to make this movie. Plus he's totally being sued because he destroyed priceless cars that make other collectors' cars worth a lot less.