harrypotterunitedstatesheader.png

Reddit Asks The Question: How Would 'Harry Potter' Be Different If It Took Place In The United States?

By Petr Knava | reddit | August 7, 2017 | Comments ()

By Petr Knava | reddit | August 7, 2017 |


harrypotterunitedstatesheader.png

Yes, yes, I know that Fantastic Beasts is a thing. And that Key & Peele did a thing. But I’ve just got my third wisdom tooth out and I’m lying here on a couch, swollen-faced and hallucinating, and this Reddit thread had me laughing and slobbering over myself a little bit in my post-bone-gauged state.

Check it, How Would ‘Harry Potter’ Be Different If It Took Place In The United States?

haplike

There would be a distinct lack of ‘BLOODY HELL HARRY’

SirNoodlehe

‘HOLY SHIT HARRY’

Chase2991

FUUUUUUCK!

joegekko

What the fuck, Harry?!?

Federico216

Surely the American version couldn’t have the f-word on it. Think of the children!

Alpacamaka

“WHAT IN TARNATION HARRY!”

Ultima34

WHAT IN TRANSFIGURATION HARRY?!

——-

Aboutsmokey

The Weasley residence would be mobile homes stacked up and magically held together with tarps and duct tape.

WhiteHelljumper

Duct tape doesn’t need magic.

VeXoR1718

Excuse me, duct tape IS magic.

——-

Brenda_Butler

Hogwarts would only be about 75 years old. And it was probably renovated in the 90s.



Continue Reading After the Advertisement


gbfk
The potions lab is falling apart but that Quidditch Stadium is something else.

josefx

Except it will be for American Quidditch, which is completely unrelated to what the rest of the world plays and they will have a world series or something similar to show of their superiority.

PLUTO_PLANETA_EST

*Quodpot

lacrimaeveneris

Which, in true American fashion, has a ball that explodes.

——-

RadicalPoopParticle

Most Quidditch players don’t know shit about magic, nor do they care. They just came to Hogwarts on a sports scholarship.

——-

bschmacker

They’d play a completely different sport but still call it Quidditch

——-

upandcomingvillain

He would live in a “closet” and not a “cupboard.”

——-

phatblackdude

Hagrid would live in a trailer.

seudospartan

And played by John Goodman.

——-

TheFire_Eagle

If you can’t get into U.S. Hogwarts it’s no big deal.

You can go to its for-profit Caribbean counterpart for four times the price.

mwizboiiiii

Harry Potter and the University of the Phoenix

——-

irishmickguard

Him and Ron would have been shot down by the Air force if they tried flying that car over D.C

——-

kyledwray

Voldemort would’ve been shot about 17 times all those years ago when he broke into Lily and Jimmy Potter’s house. About a 2 page book. More of a leaflet, really.

——-

HarrysonTubman

You would have a group saying that you have a right to know the Avada Kedavra spell to protect yourself. Then you’d have another group saying that the Department of Magic needs to control who knows it because every other country does this and they have less Avada Kedavra murders. Then, someone will go and use the spell to kill people in a school, and Alex Jones will claim it was a false flag by the Department of Magic.

——-

311MD

All the actors still would be British.


——-

Petr Knava lives in London and plays music



Get entertainment, celebrity and politics updates via Facebook or Twitter. Buy Pajiba merch at the Pajiba Store.

This Curious Mens Undergarment: Stupid? Or Sexy? | The Best Parts of 'Wet Hot American Summer: Ten Years Later' Don't Feel Like 'Wet Hot American Summer' At All




Continue Reading After the Advertisement



Bigots, Trolls & MRAs Are Not Welcome in the Comments

Advertisement




The Pajiba Store


petr-store-pajiba.png






Privacy Policy
advertise