Pajiba

Hee! Love the Muppet songs. Totally made my morning.

Seth - it's Donald Sutherland and Blair Underwood you're talking about on Dirty Sexy Money.

Thanks for the beaker. Needed it.

Ehhhhhh...David Arquette? No thanks, I'll pass. Maybe if it was Alexis, I would care. And also? Yay Muppets! I heart you, Seth!

Damn I wish my work computer had sound so I could enjoy the Muppets. Caprica better be good. Without BSG the TV SciFi landscape is pretty fuckin' bleak.

Statler and Waldorf are the epitome of mean old people snarkiness and I love them so.

We have taken possession of human fleshling model Freilich. Soon the rest of you will become enslaved or serve as nutrient goo for the gears of our war machine.

Find out more at ****t h e m a c h i n e s w i l l d e v o u r y o u r s o u l s . c o m****

Good Lord! David Duchovny looks effing HOT in that picture.

That's all. Over and out.

Caprica promo

Can we replace C. Bale with Beaker on the Top 10 list? I think I'm in love.

One of the storylines is going to focus on Tim and Lyla being in a serious relationship, and the fact that they're an odd couple.

This is hardly unexpected. Did you think he'd stop pining for her, or that she'd stop being overwhelmed by his superhuman hotness?

Also, I think "You shan't be disappointed" is incorrect. As I recall, "shall" is for first-person, e.g. "Well, then, we shan't leave you alone with him, right everyone?" "We shan't."

What a way to start the morning - two Beeker clips with a guest appearance by The Animal (my 2 favorite). Where are these from?

Also, which episode of "Scrubs" is the dancing from?

Beaker!!!

...mumble...mumble...TV still sucks...ooh Spaced is out...can et behind Scrubs without Braff...love love love Penn and Teller...mumble...mumble...

Yay!!! Beaker!!!

from dictionary.com, cited from Dictionary.com Unabridged:
The rule continues that to express determination, will is used in the first person (We will win the battle) and shall in the other two persons (You shall not bully us. They shall not pass). Whether this rule was ever widely observed is doubtful. Today, will is used overwhelmingly in all three persons and in all types of speech and writing both for the simple future and to express determination. Shall has some use in all persons, chiefly in formal writing or speaking, to express determination: I shall return. We shall overcome.

P.S. Beaker!! S&W!! Love!!

Seth, you never need an excuse for that clip from "Scrubs". As far as I am concerned, they can remove Braff from "Scrubs" as I am growing to hate him.

"But he's so damned delicate..."

I love the Janitor.

And this is cited from American Heritage Dictionary:

The sentence 'You shall have your money' expresses a promise ("I will see that you get your money"), whereas 'You will have your money' makes a simple prediction.

Followed by this:

Such, at least, are the traditional rules. The English and some traditionalists about usage are probably the only people who follow these rules, and then not with perfect consistency. In America, people who try to adhere to them run the risk of sounding pretentious or haughty.

Tee hee!

Public sex and knowledge of esoteric english laws? That's hot, Anastasia

I grew up in England, and I was taught that you use "shall" with first person only (i.e. I and we) and "will" with second and third person. To be honest, I don't follow the rules. I use whatever sounds right, and everyone understands what I mean.

I think this covers the shall vs. will info:

http://www.grammarmudge.cityslide.com/articles/article/1026513/8913.htm

mmm...Dexter, Duchovny and Miss Parker. Yum. nom. I'm still over on the bangalicious thread I guess...Guess its time to renew Showtime again.

Whore, you do not mention your spinal "difficulties" in today's column; but, since I seriously doubt that everything is all better after only a week, and also because I never chimed in with good wishes last week, I'd like to say that I'm fretting about you and I hope you ARE better, and that you are on the way to complete recovery. Keep us posted.

I'd also like to thank you for the Beeker, because Beeker is always awesome. I'd seen the Carmen vid before today, but I'm still going to watch it seven times in a row anyway, because it is greatness.

Um. Wow, toby is getting kind of specific.

We must ask ourself, is our spambots learning?

Awww, the Beaker is the best! thanks.

Not especially rich, but glad I fork over the money for Showtime and the DVR every month, its totally worth it. Awesome pic, Duchovny does look very yummy. hell, they all do.

Going to Comic Con tonight and all day tomorrow, woo hoo! Seriously, I'm jumping up and down in my desk chair right now, and it's only 7:30 here. First thing I'm going to do is find a Dr. Horrible t-shirt.

Ooohh..just the mention of Dexter makes my morning a little brighter as I sift thru all the bullshit paper work of having my identity stolen. There is a light at the end of my dark tunnel.

oh and yay Muppets!

Spambots do not need to learn, you weak little meatbags.

Our plan to rule this Pajibaverse is already in motion.

Please form a single line for more efficient liquification.

Find out more at ***p r e p a r e t o b e m a d e i n t o p a s t e . c o m***

Brian, it is from Season 5, episode 9. The title is "My Half Acre". It is also one of the episodes that had Mandy Moore as a guest star.

The only reason I would miss Zach Braff on Scrubs is because then there will be no one around to call Turk "Chocolate Bear".

The air band scene is from the episode "My Half-Acre" where Turk joins the Janitor's air band and JD has a blind date with Mandy Moore. (I have this ep on the Tivo and watch the clip above at least once a week.)

twig...I must ask...are you nervous that toby discovered your deep dark love of horses?

speaking of Muppets, I just saw a clip on the website of HeWhoMustNotBeNamedHilton with Dr. Doogie Horrible as the Shoe Fairy on Sesame Street. It's super cute.

I'd post the link but I am afraid of the Pajibawhoopin I may receive.

James Purefoy has been on my hot-dar ever since he made out with Kevin McKidd that one time. Yes, I know it was a movie and not real life. What's your point?

And Re: JD, I haven't really liked him for the past few years, but I'm not sure how well it'll work without him. Too much of the best stuff of the other characters revolves around their interactions with him (especially when they're mocking him), and I'd be curious to see how well the rest of the major characters link together without him there. I'd still totally watch, of course. I'd just be hesitant.

Here's a real link of Neil Patrick Harris as the Shoe Fairy on Sesame Street. Enjoy!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wDaszN9ByxM

By the way, Get Fuzzy used my new favorite phrase "interfenestral monkey penetration" today. Try to work it into some of the posts here, will you?

Aw, shucks, SoD, I wish I could lay claim to that much hotness. I just looked up the usage rules. (Originally, my answer started with "since when is shall for 1st person use only?" Then I looked it up and discovered it was since the 17th century. Good thing I looked first... thank heaven for the interwebs.) The public sex, well, that's all me.

Rules were made for breaking, BWeaves. Especially 17th century grammar rules. :) Here in the States, I wasn't really taught the rules regarding shall, I don't think. I frequently use it, probably nowhere near correctly most of the time. I think Seth's use of it is acceptable according to the rules, though, as it is kind of a promise/certainty, as if he said, "I promise you will not be disappointed."

And I better not be, TV Whore.

Throwing monkeys through interior windows?

Throwing monkeys through interior windows?

Jay that made me smile more than Beaker!

Almost once a day I youtube Turk dancing and Poison is my ringtone and, if I had a kid, it might be named Biv.

Anastasia, I've been breaking the "shall" rules ever since I moved to the USA, because nobody here knows the rules. hahaha.

NPH as the shoe fairy. Wow! Who knew?

Yep, maybe something on the order of "The deleted interfenestral monkey penetration scene could have saved this movie from total suckage". I bet a lot of movies could benefit from throwing monkeys through windows.

jM, you're most welcome. I was just trying to unravel the etymology, but the image is nice too. Fenestrate, and its varieties, is just so wonderfully specific. Thank you, German.

Oh and I support the use of "shan't" at all times.

PURISTS BE DAMNED!

I do flinch at "from whence" though. And no one ever understands me when I use "whither".

Oh sigh sigh sigh.

Hehe...I use "whither" all the time, Jay. I've gotten used to the strange looks.

I enjoy using the word banished, but pronouncing it as if I am in a Shakespearean play.

"Thou art banished!"

Ahh...

Yes Melody!

I do it too, but I always pronounce it bani·shed. You know, for emphasis.

I love whither, and fenestrate. Though I'd no idea the latter was German. Sometimes, a word just fits the situation, even if its use is technically incorrect.

BWeaves, is it any wonder? These kids today can barely spell their own names, let alone use proper grammar. Ha! Now I kind of feel like chasing the damn kids off my lawn, as it were. "You kids today, with your improper grammar and misspelling!" I'll yell. "I banish you from my lawn! Whither thou goest, I have not a care!" And then they'll tell all their friends about the cat lady down the street and her crazy talk. Then maybe I'll toss some monkeys through some interior windows. Good times.

Anastasia, just yell at them: "A plague on you house! Thou art bani-shed from thy lawn!!" That will really get them going. Add in that "Wither thou goest, I have not a care!" line and I highly doubt that they ever come back.

If you're gonna get all Shakespearean on their asses, I prefer, in full suburban Capulet mode, to bellow "Hang, beg, starve, DIE IN THE STREET!!"

Jeez, what the hell did I start here? Sounds like I had at least some basis for thinking "shall" was for first-person, but that it's hardly a firm rule. One wonders what is, these days. Still, it's good to discuss and learn.

Doesn't seem like anyone got my reference, though. That makes me sad...

TK, I do love that quote. Some days, I just want to talk like I am in a Shakespeare play. It would likely get old at some point. However, if you have a weird airplane seatmate, it may make them leave you alone.

And, if one of your boys gets got by your true love's cuz-o and you have to bust a cap to put his ass in check, or if you just have a small child that can't cross the street by itself, than you tell your sworn enemy or spouse, "Either thou, or I, or BOTH must go with him!"

Over at NBC, you may recall that "The Philanthropist" is the midseason show about a mega-rich dude who decides to start helping folks in need, skirting the law and buying people off to get shit done. It was originally coming to us from Tom Fontana and Barry Levinson, but they left after reportedly getting flack for making the show too dark.

Who the hell blows off Tom Fontana and Barry Levinson?!

And a non- cop, lawyer, doctor show to boot!

And there is no better metaphor for sex than "the beast with two backs."

God, I love Othello.

Seth, I have to disagree on the Dirty Sexy Money aspect. The show is a soap opera anyway, and I don't really see any element that constitutes as "indie." If they take away the little depth they have, then I'm out. Unless they write Karen out of the show, because I can't stand her.

I kinda liked the musical tribute to the Sopranos, but I am aware of how corny it was. It's a one time thing; adding a bunch of them will make the Emmy's even sillier than it already is. Didn't they do enough of that with the Oscars and the constant "Enchanted" musical numbers?

twig...I must ask...are you nervous that toby discovered your deep dark love of horses?

Amazingly enough, despite my many, many social maladjustments, I am neither a furry nor a horsefucker.

So, you know, that's one point for me?

Nah, just means you're a prude.

I love Shakespeare.

Twig, maybe the spambot could sense that you like to ride people bareback?

"Oh, for a muse of Pajiba!"
All the Shakespeare being thrown around today is making me hotter than yesterday's Top 10.

Hee...I love Shakespeare as well.

Now cracks a noble heart. Good-night, sweet television reviewer...and flights of holy cephalopods sing thee to thy rest.

"Out damned spot, Out I say"

Twig, maybe the spambot could sense that you like to ride people bareback?

There seemed to be plenty more of that going on in the Pajiba 10 thread. Maybe the poor bot just got lost amidst all the flung panties.

Todd, the learning is the funnest part, and the discussion the second-funnest. (Sorry I didn't get your reference....)

"I like this place and willingly could waste my time in it."

I agree with Brie about Dirty Sexy Money. I am already pretty much right at the threshold of guilt for watching (and DVRing) the show. It already had 2 strikes against it in the offseason (losing Samaire Armstrong and adding Lucy Liu). I hope they don't tweak too much because having never made the effort to watch Six Feet Under, I don't want another long period of my like without Peter Krause being involved.

Thank You Melody.

I'll do some (cough)research(cough) for theat episdoe whan I get home tonight

L.S.,

Ladies and Gentlemen, congratulations, that first Muppet clip was the Beethoven/Schiller combo that is An Ode to Joy, aka the European National Anthem. So I trust you all stood up just now and placed your right hand on your hearts, since that is apparently the thing you're supposed to do when the national anthem is played.

I use "my kingdom for a" a whole lot, too much, but when your job involves office supplies and such that have to be tortuously acquired through central divisions, well, it comes up a lot.

Most of my other strange ejaculations tend to come from "Wizard People, Dear Readers", which is no less eloquent.

On the shall/will debate: A few years ago, I was sitting in a linguistics class and the (Dutch) professor was reminscing about being drilled on the difference between shall and will. A few other foreign students were nodding in shared rememberance. She asked the native speakers (all Americans) if we had ever learned that and received only blank stares. Only those foreign students who had been educated in an English tradition rather than an American tradition paid the slightest bit of attention to the shall/will distinction. However I like to occasionlly use "shall" when I want to draw special emphasis to my words.

On a completely unrelated topic, I adored Golden Girls. (Surely there is someway of doing a Golden Girls comment diversion in memory of Estelle Getty.) I just finished reading My First Five Husbands and the ones that got away by Rue McClanahan (autobiography/memoir) and it is simply marvelous. Gossipy with out being too name droppy, and written in a bubbly conversational tone that brings up the image of you and Rue sipping cocktails as she tells you one fantastic story after another. In that book she mentions the trouble Getty had in later seasons with her memory of lines (now realizing it was an early sign of her dementia).

See, you could link to a story like this

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2008/07/23/chimp-steals-gun-from-zoo_n_114589.html

and warn of the imminent armed interfenestral monkey penetration.

NBC is FUCKING RETARDED for kicking Barry Levinson and Tom Fontana off of any show.

They're responsible for the two best shows in the history of television - Oz and Homicide: Life on the Street.

I had no idea they had this show called The Philanthropist and if I did, I would have watched it. now that they have nothing to do with it, I will never have anything to do with it.

They need to put Fontana and Levinson in charge of Desperate Housewives and have the whole thing revolve around Teri Hatcher's burgeoning drug addiction and Eva Longoria raping the shit out of everyone. I'd never miss a single episode.