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Morning Briefing: POTUS Has No Idea What He's Saying, Kushner's Financial Ruin, and When Ted Nugent Literally Crapped His Pants

By Dustin Rowles | Politics | April 2, 2018 |

By Dustin Rowles | Politics | April 2, 2018 |


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— Yesterday morning, Donald Trump tweeted, “HAPPY EASTER!” Since then, the last six tweets have all been about ending DACA, building the wall, passing new border restrictions, and yelling at Mexico. It’s typical Trump base-baiting, but it’s also exactly what Trump believes, because he’s as racist and xenophobic as his supporters. The one tweet that has received the most attention, however, is this one:

Yeah, the President still doesn’t understand DACA. You have to have lived continuously in the United States since June 2007 to be eligible for DACA. You can’t just walk across the border and call out, “DACA PLEASE!”

There have been a lot of articles written in the last couple of weeks about how Trump has fired or neutralized everyone in the administration who had kept him in check, and now all he has surrounding him are enthusiastic “Yes” men. That’s an even bigger problem when the goddamn President of the United States still doesn’t understand basic immigration, economic, or foreign policy. The leader of this country is a goddamn moron.

— Also, uhhhhhhhh …

— Speaking of Trump’s bad economic policy, the trade wars have begun. China has slapped tariffs on 128 targeted products, including a 25 percent tariff on pork. Starting today. Many of the tariffs are specifically designed to hurt American workers who are supportive of Trump.

— Meanwhile, there was reporting this weekend from the NYTimes that suggested that Charles Kushner, father of Jared, is headed toward “financial ruin,” thanks to his son’s position at the White House.

“The elder Mr. Kushner, his company and his family are assailed by criminal and regulatory inquiries largely rooted in their newfound access to presidential power. The family’s East Coast-based real estate empire is under a fiscal and ethical cloud, shunned by some investors who fear being dragged into the spotlight trained on the Kushner nexus with President Trump. Two major Manhattan properties are on creditors’ watch lists, one after foreign investors backed out of a financing deal.”

It’s so bad that Charles Kushner doesn’t want a Presidential pardon because it would invite even more investigation, while Josh Kushner — Jared’s younger brother — believes that his biggest accomplishment in 2017 was surviving “Donald Trump. Don’t tweet that. Really, don’t tweet that. I’ll get in so much trouble.”

— Over the weekend, Ted Nugent — a board member of the NRA — called out the Parkland students, suggesting that they had no soul. Yesterday, MSNBC’s Joy Reid not only reminded us that Nugent adopted a 17-year-old girl so that he could have sex with her, but he literally shat his pants in order to avoid serving in Vietnam.

From an interview with The High Times:

“Then a week before [my physical], I stopped going to the bathroom. I did it in my pants. poop, piss the whole shot. My pants got crusted up. [T]hey made everybody take off their pants, and I did, and this sergeant says, “Oh my God, put those back on! You fucking swine you!” Then they had a urine test and I couldn’t piss, But my poop was just like ooze, man, so I poop in the cup and put it on the counter. I had poop on my hand and my arm. The guy almost puked. I was so proud. I knew I had these chumps beat.”

Real American hero.

Reminder: Ted Nugent’s band Damn Yankees were terrible, and maybe Nugent’s most egregious sin in his career was that weak-ass 80’s music.



Dustin is the founder and co-owner of Pajiba. You may email him here or follow him on Twitter.


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