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The Morning's Biggest Political Debate Has Nothing to Do with the Issues

By Dustin Rowles | Politics | September 11, 2018 |

By Dustin Rowles | Politics | September 11, 2018 |


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It’s on the home page of The Washington Post this morning. Every single New York newspaper is running with it today. Slate has six different theories on it. It’s all the talk on Twitter. Jezebel has tried it, and so has Gothamist.

It’s the anniversary of 9/11, and the biggest conversation of the morning is Cynthia Nixon’s apparent go-to-choice for breakfast from Zabar’s: A Cinnamon bagel with cream cheese, lox, and capers.

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And this, folks, is how we know that the terrorists didn’t win. What could be more fitting for America than spending the morning debating the bagel choice of a gubernatorial candidate in the fourth largest state in the country? Nothing else about 2018 has been normal: There’s an unhinged, dangerously slow, ill-informed, hot-headed white nationalist running the country; Trump’s personal fixer is going to jail; his former campaign manager is going to jail; and the fate of the nation’s presidency often seems to hinge upon a porn-star named Stormy Daniels.

There is nothing normal about any of that. But giving Cynthia Nixon shit for mixing cinnamon and sugar with fish? There is nothing more American than that.

Will it matter in the end? Absolutely not. Cynthia Nixon is going to get crushed on Thursday, and it will have nothing to do with her choice of bagel. The latest poll — out today — has Governor Cuomo up 63 to 22. Nixon might pull off 35 percent of the vote. Maybe. But she’s done a lot of good: She’s pulled Cuomo to the left. She’s raised a lot of issues that needed raising. And she’s right on most of the issues. But she’s also not been a terribly great candidate — she won her Cuomo debate on Twitter, but it was a wash among those who actually watched the whole thing (and not just the zingers). I’ve heard a few interviews with her now, and she’s not a particularly natural candidate: She tries too hard to cram all of her talking points into three sentences, and when she gets called out, she deflects (which, I suppose, actually makes her a great politician). She’s also having a difficult time persuading Black voters, and that has been key for other progressive candidates like Stacey Abrams and Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez.

But honest to God: I love that we’re talking about her choice of bagel. Also, mustard-based pizza is delicious and I’ve seen some of the ungodly combinations of food you all love in the comments of our food born diversions so you can all go fuck yourselves.

AMERICA!



Dustin is the founder and co-owner of Pajiba. You may email him here or follow him on Twitter.



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