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Rand Paul Is a Petty Bitch

By Dustin Rowles | Politics | June 12, 2018 |

By Dustin Rowles | Politics | June 12, 2018 |


GettyImages-865949308.jpg

Remember in the fall of last year when a neighbor of Senator Rand Paul tackled him in his yard, leaving him with broken ribs and injured lungs, which led to a hospital stay and eventually pneumonia? The details surrounding the incident were fuzzy for months, and we never really got the full story.

Well, I’m here to tell you: Violence is never the answer.

But Rand Paul had it coming.

Here’s what happened, according to court documents (via Roll Call):

In September 2017 the junior GOP senator from Kentucky stacked a 10-foot-wide mound of branches near the line separating his property in Bowling Green from Boucher’s.

Boucher found the pile of tree limbs and other flotsam “unsightly,” according to new court documents first reported by The Associated Press. Even though it wasn’t on his property, Boucher could see the pile from his back patio.

It sat there for weeks.

In October, Boucher had the branches loaded into portable dumpsters and carried off.

But then, other piles appeared — two of them.

Boucher poured gasoline on the woodpiles and incinerated them, giving himself second-degree burns in the process.

But Paul’s autumn yard work was not complete.

The next day, the senator blew leaves into Boucher’s yard with his lawnmower. He made another branch pile in the same spot as the previous ones.

Boucher had had enough.

In other words, Rand Paul’s neighbor finally attacked him because Rand Paul was being an asshole. He was deliberately provoking his neighbor, who is also an idiot in his own right for getting second-degree burns in an attempt to spite Rand Paul.

Sounds to me like they both got what they deserved, except now it is 60-year-old Rene Boucher who is facing up to 21 months in prison for his attack on Paul.

Source: Roll Call



Dustin is the founder and co-owner of Pajiba. You may email him here or follow him on Twitter.



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