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Milwaukee Brewers Player Has a Helpful Tip for Those of Us Terrified about Losing Birth Control Access: Abstinence

By Courtney Enlow | Politics | January 13, 2017 |

By Courtney Enlow | Politics | January 13, 2017 |


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Jessica Chastain, a proud and vocal feminist who speaks the good word on a regular basis, lamented the decision by Republicans to cover birth control under the Affordable Care Act. Because it’s terrible and horrifying.

Matt Garza is a baseball player for the Milwaukee Brewers. And he can go fuck himself.

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Just… saying.

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OK, Matt. For starters, did you know that the pill we call “birth control” is used for millions as a medication for heavy periods, unbearable cramps and other illnesses that have absolutely nothing to do with sex or pregnancy? Also, ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME? Also, GO FUCK YOURSELF. Also…I CAN’T EVEN TALK ABOUT IT.

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That helped, not gonna lie. Whoo. Alright. Matt. Other cockrags. Abstinence is an unreasonable, impractical solution that only impacts those capable of becoming pregnant and thus the only ones requiring birth control for the express purpose of controlling pregnancy. So until such a time as you can comprehend the utter idiocy of your words, feel free to fuck off.

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