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Stick a Fork in the Orange F*cker: Donald Trump Is Done

By Dustin Rowles | Politics | October 20, 2016 |

By Dustin Rowles | Politics | October 20, 2016 |


According to the NYTimes, Hillary Clinton had a 92 percent chance of winning the election. According to Nate Silver, that number was 87 percent. That was before last night’s third debate, before Hillary Clinton got under Donald Trump’s thin skin, and before Hillary Clinton highlighted once again what a petulant child Donald Trump is. Even his comebacks are those of a whiny, defeated 6 year old. No I’m not, you are!

Last night’s third and final debate was very bad for Donald Trump in the moment, but how it’s going to play over the next few days will be disastrous. Four moments will be played over and over on cable news for the next week: Trump saying “bad hombre,” Trump’s “You’re the puppet,” line, Trump calling Clinton a “nasty woman” — which the Clinton campaign and every woman on Twitter is owning proudly this morning — and Trump’s refusal to admit he’d accept the election results on election night.

That was the moment the 2016 Presidential election finally ended.

There are still votes to be cast — and you all better not forget it — but the game is up. You don’t fucking question our democracy. The 36-38 percent of this country — the deplorables — are still going to show up and vote for Donald Trump, but everyone else was appalled by Donald Trump’s “I’ll keep you in suspense,” answer, and no one more than Van Jones.

That’s it, you guys. It’s over. Democracy will be spared for at least another four years. There will be no walls. There will be no Muslim bans. Women will continue to have control over their own bodies. There will be no federal stop and frisk laws. Journalists will not be locked up for speaking out against our President. The rest of the world will still maintain some respect for us. We will not cede control of our country to a demagogue.

We got this. It’s over.