14 Reasons that Hollywood Studios Should Consider Quoting Pajiba Reviews in their Movie Posters

By Dustin Rowles | Posted Under Pajiba Storytellers | Comments (21)

(Zombieland Full Review)

(Tree of Life Full Review)

(Zombie Strippers Full Review)

(A Serbian Film Full Review)

(Aliens Full Review)

(Norbit Full Review)

(Coraline Full Review)

(Moneyball Full Review)

((500) Days of Summer Full Review)

(Black Dynamite Full Review)

(Iron Man Full Review)

(Field of Dreams Full Review)

(A Blaffair to Rememblack Full Review)

(The Dark Knight Full Review)

See Also: The many reasons why Hollywood studios do not quote Pajiba reviews in their movie posters.

Each Time You Like, Share, Tweet or Stumble a Pajiba Post, An Angel Does the Paul Rudd Dance

← Five Episodes Of Television For Which We Can Be Thankful | The Glorious Reappearing: Seven Actors Who We Wish Would Make a Triumphant Return from Retirement →

Comments

I'm sorry, as much as I love what I read here, none of these actually work. They're all too long, this just looks like big paragraphs pasted onto posters.

(It's true. It's far more difficult to distill a good review into a soundbite. In some cases, I just wanted to paste the entire review on top of the poster. And now, clearly, I've ruined Christmas. *sad trombone* -- DR)

Posted by: blimpish at November 22, 2011 4:19 PM

These are more press-pulls for an Oscar campaign than a movie poster. Too many big words for posters. A Serbian Film is about the only one where I could see the marketing team reissuing the DVD with that final line. I've run into way too many of their people at horror/fan conventions to not realize that it's the rape aspect they find so appealing.

Posted by: Robert at November 22, 2011 4:30 PM

I need to reread TK's Zombie Strippers review again. CLASSIC.

Posted by: Julie at November 22, 2011 4:37 PM

One big "Aren't we great??" circle jerk. That's all this was.

Posted by: Juicy Weatherbee at November 22, 2011 4:50 PM

It would be phenomenal if someone actually used some of the sarcastic quotes because they didn't catch the sarcasm. Then we could feel smart while we laughed and laughed.

Posted by: noodlestein at November 22, 2011 4:51 PM

That first one cracked me up SO HARD. And now I want to watch Zombieland on a loop.

Posted by: figgy at November 22, 2011 4:52 PM

One big "Aren't we great??" circle jerk. That's all this was.

Welcome to Pajiba?

Posted by: twig at November 22, 2011 4:54 PM

Am I crazy for remembering a story round here about someone finding a Pajiba review quote on a bootleg foreign DVD? Like, something really horrible that was not good at all but was printed anyway?

Posted by: Robert at November 22, 2011 4:58 PM

Wait, Norbit was good?

Posted by: Protoguy at November 22, 2011 4:58 PM

And now, clearly, I've ruined Christmas. *sad trombone* -- DR

Really? O frabjous day! Callooh! Callay!

Oh, wait. You were kidding. Fuck.

Posted by: BierceAmbrose at November 22, 2011 4:59 PM

Just yes. Do it, Hollywood. Do eeeeeeeeeeeet.

Posted by: Nadine at November 22, 2011 5:23 PM

Whipped a quick one up that I thought off when ready the headline:
http://i87.photobucket.com/albums/k127/Longina_L/Wanted-movie-poster.jpg

Posted by: Longi at November 22, 2011 6:14 PM

I cite that Field of Dreams article as the reason I love Pajiba. I've sent it to countless people. I am convinced SLW is a god among us. I love it and him and it makes me proud to be a Pajiban.

Posted by: Joanna Robinson at November 22, 2011 7:14 PM

No offense to all the reviewers but Daniel Carlson and Steven Lloyd Wilson are fantastic writers. It's kind of like Ebert for me, I don't always agree with the opinion, but the way it's presented makes me want to read and appreciate it.

Posted by: e at November 22, 2011 9:08 PM

That last paragraph of the "Aliens" review is absolutely superb. I'm aghast, I tell ye, aghast! Completely floored. It's truly beautiful. Freaked me right the fuck out. And I write this as a kid whose greatest fears was those fucking monsters. Again, I bow low, I raise the hat high...somehow...listen, we can't all be good writers, m'kay?

Posted by: MachineGunJeanMaurice at November 22, 2011 10:18 PM

I don't always agree with the opinion, but the way it's presented makes me want to read and appreciate it.

Posted by: e at November 22, 2011 9:08 PM

So very true. I didn't like Tree of Life at all, but Dan's review almost made up for it. And SLW seems to have a direct path to my brain, or possibly my heart.

OK, that's enough gushing. You people all suck balls.

Posted by: Uriah Creep at November 22, 2011 10:28 PM

That SLW review of "Field of Dreams" actually made me cry a little. And I was only reading the blurb.

*sob* I... I love you guys!!

*tries to hug Uriah Creep as he (she?) desperately fends me off*

Posted by: Jelinas at November 23, 2011 1:43 AM

I love all the reviewers here at Pajiba, I really, really do. I think I will get SLW's book as a Christmas present for myself so I can spend a few days immersing myself in his writing.

Posted by: BiblioGeek at November 23, 2011 2:44 AM

*tries to hug Uriah Creep as he (she?) desperately fends me off*

Posted by: Jelinas at November 23, 2011 1:43 AM

Ah, come here, you!! (I'm a dude.)

Posted by: Uriah Creep at November 23, 2011 5:15 AM

2 things :

1. Movie quotes are NEVER that long. Short n' sweet is the key.
2. Moneyball was fucking boring as hell.

Posted by: Horace at November 23, 2011 10:02 AM

I think what I learned from this is that Dustin is in no danger of developing erectile disfunction. Lots of boner stuff up there.

Posted by: superasente at November 23, 2011 4:47 PM

Pajiba

Pajiba: Reviews, Commentary, Angst

14 Reasons that Hollywood Studios Should Consider Quoting Pajiba Reviews in their Movie Posters

Comments