You'd Think a Puppy Licking King Joffrey Would Humanize Him. Nope: Just Makes Us Dislike the Puppy
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You'd Think a Puppy Licking King Joffrey Would Humanize Him. Nope: Just Makes Us Dislike the Puppy

By Dustin Rowles | Pajiba Love | July 11, 2013 | Comments ()


Andrew Garfield is all about the gay spidey, and if such an occurence were to happen, he’s chosen the BEST gay lover for the superhero. (P.S. Andrew Garfield is kind of great) (Slashfilm)

Yeah? Why isn’t there a successor to Six Feet Under instead of countless “Sopranos” inspired dramas? (Vulture)

You know Adam Devine? The guy from “Workaholics” and the douche from Pitch Perfect? He’s swell. Lots of wisdom. “That’s another piece of advice: don’t go to college, follow your dreams. Unless you’re a doctor, then go to college.” (Guardian)

Have you watched the best new show of the year yet? WHY NOT? What is wrong with you? Don’t make me Disqus block you. (WG)

Speaking of great shows, it looks like they’re very serious about doing a theatrical prequel to the British cop show, “Luther.” Idris Elba talks about it here. (EW)

Who doesn’t appreciate British royalty wearing silly masks for charity? (GFY)

Speaking of charity, there’s a very sweet 8 year old girl with Multiple Sclerosis who has lost her sight, regained it through treatments, and lost it again, which is just heartbreaking. EIGHT YEARS OLD. If you could see to it to donate to MS in her name, it would mean the goddamn world to her and her parents and provide you with the warm and fuzzies you need today. (National MS Society)

Unreality catalogues 15 of the Best Movie Trailers of the Last 15 Years. Missing? My favorite all time trailer, which was for Where the Wild Things Are. (Unreality)

Remember yesterday when Justin Bieber urinated in a mop bucket and said to a picture of the former President, “F**k you, Bill Clinton?” I guess Bieber called up ol’ Bubba and apologized. Why would Clinton even take his call? That is so weird. (DListed)

Here’s six movies and a TV show that might make you want to light up. BEWARE FORMER SMOKERS. (Underscoopfire)

Bummed about the cancellation of “Happy Endings”? Yeah, me too. But at least something good came out of it. (Uproxx)

KFC is suing a Thai fried chicken restaurant for using Colonel Sanders likeness to sell … Hitler Fried Chicken. Is that a big seller in Thailand? (Thanks, BWeaves) (Time)

I love Busy Phillips, but you know, I’m not so crazy about the name choices for her daughters. There’s hippie names, and then there’s … well, animal names. (Celebitchy)

“And if the question is whether or not it’s offensive to run around dressed like I’m in the army in order to practice for my play pretend, when dressing like you are in the army is generally an honor reserved for those who are actually in the army, then I guess I’d just have to direct someone to the Webster’s Dictionary definition of method acting. You know?” — Shia LaBeouf (Videogum)

You’d think that a puppy licking on Joffrey’s face would make him more adorable, but honestly, it just makes me dislike the puppy.

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Comments Are Welcome, Bigots and Trolls Are Not

  • Fabius_Maximus

    Man, that Vine epidimic annoys the hell out of me. That fucking autoplay function makes me glad I have the whole thing blocked.

  • LexieW

    I feel bad for Jack Gleeson... he has no lips and has to be the worst kisser ever. I imagine kissing him is like trying to make out with a rubber band.

  • e jerry powell

    Puppy kisses are the bomb.

  • Slash

    I don't watch GOT, so I'm fine with the puppy and the dude the puppy is licking. How can you dislike a puppy? WTF is wrong with you?

  • Ruthie O

    If Andrew Garfield says it, it must be true. Now, go vote/comment for Michael B. Jordan's inclusion on the Pajiba 10. Or you'll make Spiderman sad.

  • F'mal DeHyde

    Oh man, that puppy's adorable. I'd pay money to have him lick my ear like that.

  • melissa82

    Wahoo on The New Girl news!

  • Brian Merritt

    100% agree about the Where the Wild Things Are trailer. I know the movie disappointed a lot of people, but I love it. Sendak is one of my favorites.

  • Two adds to the trailer list:

    Much Ado About Nothing - with the St. Germain song. Absolutely perfect.
    Battle: LA - no dialogue with the Johann Johannson music. If but the movie offered any of the weight conveyed by that trailer. Even Anthony Lane in New Yorker praised the trailer for its ability to evoke a real sense of threat and sadness at the realization of loss.

    'The Blair Witch Project' trailer truly fucked with me when I first saw it, having absolutely no idea what it was referencing.

  • Three_nineteen

    I'm pretty sure I'd rather be called Cricket than Busy, so in my opinion that name is a step up.

  • e jerry powell

    All the girls I knew named Cricket were pretty awesome.

  • TCH

    East Asia and India have an odd usage of Hitler. Which is probably due to the fact that they never really had to deal with being occupied by or engaging with German forces.

  • Monica

    What do I do about Rectify if I dont get AMC?

  • zeke_the_pig

    Dustin, ya bastard, you owe me a new keyboard for that post title.

  • Sara_Tonin00

    That Vulture article was more nuanced than I expected. But I'd argue that there isn't a successor because it was an excellent, subtle show, and those are hard to create. Someone says "get me a successor to 'Six Feet Under'" and you end up with "Brothers & Sisters" (or whatever that show was called).

  • Artemis

    Agreed. "Male anti-hero" is a concept that people can easily grasp and replicate (to varying degrees of success). "Family drama" is a lot broader, and you're not going to end up with anything like Six Feet Under most of the time.

  • TheOtherGreg

    If they dump Lamorne Morris from New Girl, I'll be very angry.

  • I think he's seriously underrated. He's not as flashy as Schmidt or so amazing as Nick, but he's had some hilarious moments on the show. I think they just need to give him stronger story lines and everyone will love him like we do.

  • Cree83

    Winston is my favorite favorite favorite. He tries so hard to prank. "Hey, let's pour a little juice near her shoe." Please don't go, Winston.

  • Mrcreosote

    The puppy was beheaded moments later. For crimes against the kingdom.

  • John G.

    I hope that puppy's name isn't Sansa.

  • TheOtherGreg

    Because no one ever watched Six Feet Under?

  • Buellie413

    Only 5 million.

  • bleujayone

    "KFC is suing a Thai fried chicken restaurant for using Colonel Sanders
    likeness to sell … Hitler Fried Chicken. Is that a big seller in

    -There's a closed Kosher Chinese restaurant on Bathurst Street in Toronto. I would pay real money to get sign out front. It's called "Colonel Wong's" And its logo is a red & white painted portrait of the aforementioned culinary colonel that looks strangely familiar....

    Well...I laughed at it, anyway.

    Speaking of which, there's a hospital up here that has a wing (no pun intended) called "The Colonel Harland Sanders Cardiac & Family Care Centre". Ironic considering his products probably helped a few people on their way there.

  • e jerry powell

    So I guess that's gonna be Paula Deen's next move now. A hospital wing for Type 2 diabetics.

  • AudioSuede

    Knowing that he's not that big of a douche in real life (he's actually extremely affable) allows me to watch that puppy video and squeal as intended.

  • lowercase_ryan

    I haven't been able to watch rectify because I don't get Sundance. Now that AMC is running it I will watch.

  • Amanda Cotylo

    it's exquisite. Trust.

  • Wōđanaz Óðinn

    Re: Luther, where the fuck is Alice?!
    That's 2/4 Alice-free episodes now.

    Don't make me go out to inspire material for next season.
    The Luther writers' room will be my first port of call.

  • KV

    Luther has got a new love interest this season.

  • emmalita

    Alice was never a love interest. Luther is too smart for that.

  • John W

    So that's what the Hound looked like when he was young.

  • PDamian

    Bieber called Pres Clinton to apologize? I'd be more impressed if he'd called the restaurant and apologized to the poor staffers who had to clean out the bucket he peed in.

  • KV

    On the video, the bucket looked like the one the janitors use for mopping floors. Bieber pissed into the cleaning fluid.

  • DeltaJuliet

    I guess I'm missing your point. Does that make it better?

  • KV

    Not at all. It actually makes it worse, because some poor janitor perhaps used Bieber's piss to mop the floor.

  • PDamian

    Ewwwwwwwww ...

  • DeltaJuliet

    Ugh. He's such an entitled, self-absorbed little pig.

  • e jerry powell

    Uh-uh. Wouldn't even make for good bacon.

  • Pants-are-a-must

    I don't care. Enjoy the puppy, Jack Gleeson. Enjoy her as the world calls you Joffrey and people throw darts at your face in pubs. Enjoy her as people will watch this Vine video and go "ew! who gave him that puppy! SOILED PUPPY!" Enjoy her and then go become a professor for philosophy and everyone will forget that once upon a time, you too were a puppy saved by Batman.

  • MichaelAndTheArgonauts


  • L.O.V.E.

    Not sure what pisses me off more about Bieber, that he told a picture of President Clinton to fuck off or that he got an audience with the President for being Canada's #1 douche export.

    The only rational explanation is that Biebs sent Clinton nude photos of Selena Gomez to make amends. That would explain everything.

  • llp

    I hate to inform you all, but Canada is seeking to export ALL of our douchebags. Bieber is just the first. Next comes Sean Cullen.

  • Mrs. Julien

    I love Sean Cullen. Granted, I live in the United States, so it's at a distance ,but still I love him. What did I miss?

  • llp

    Oh, nothing really. It is just that his manner of speaking makes me want to push the Q-tip in too far - it doesn't truly speak to his douchosity at all. I rescind the comment, and offer you $5, no strings attached.

  • Fabius_Maximus

    Maybe you should start with Celine Dion or that cyclone of suck that recently got married.

  • llp

    Yeah, that was a douchepocalypse. They're on the list.

  • e jerry powell

    Nope. You'll need to change his name to Scott first.

  • True_Blue

    Does anyone know what Bieber had against Clinton--a man who was president of a different country when Bieber was like 7 years old?

  • e jerry powell

    Aside from being a drunken tool?

  • True_Blue

    Well, Bieber being a druken douchebag is a given. But why not say eff you Stephen Harper? Or Putin? Or Obama?

  • e jerry powell

    Because logic eludes him even when he's sober?

  • Natallica

    I feel so uncomfortable watching that. He looks so very cute... but the menace of his Joffrey smirk can still be seen on his lips. I think I'm gonna curl under my desk and try to untangle my mind.

  • Joe Grunenwald

    Peter Parker and Johnny Storm would SO date, and it would end so badly.

  • Stephen Nein

    In tears. Tears, ropes and fire.

  • cgthegeek

    I came across a comic where they were living together for a time after Johnny came back from the dead. Johnny cooked Peter pancakes wearing nothing but an apron. (This might have been fanfiction).

  • bleujayone

    Only because Peter would catch Johnny in Bobby Drake's frosty pants. Well.... he would after the inevitable steam left the room.

  • L.O.V.E.

    Run, puppy, run! He's about to open up his sniveling jaws and bite you!

    Someone call the ASPCA before he gets his bow and arrow and hunts this puppy for sport!

    We're on to you, puppy killer!

  • VohaulsRevenge

    Ditto. I was like, "This is right before he tossed that puppy into a Cuisinart."

  • MichaelAndTheArgonauts


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    Agreed. "Male anti-hero" is a
    concept that people can easily grasp and replicate (to varying degrees
    of success). "Family drama" is a lot broader, and you're not going to
    end up with anything like Six Feet Under most of the time.

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