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You Guys, What If Joey Potter Ends Up Single-Handedly Bringing Down Scientology?

By Joanna Robinson | Pajiba Love | July 2, 2012 | Comments ()


katie.jpeg

For those of you who enjoyed the greasy potato skins on display this weekend in Magic Mike, here's what Channing Tatum actually looked like as a young, impressionable stripper. The tongue is my favorite part. (FilmDrunk)
Channing-Tatum-strips.jpg

Though I'm not going to draw any comparisons between strippers and politicians, Buzzfeed does have high school photos of 69 politicians. Al Gore was seriously one handsome mammer jammer. (Buzzfeed)

For all you avid readers, here's a list of the most anticipated titles from the second half of 2012. September is going to be bananas. (The Millions)

And for those of you who are more fond of the televisual medium, the lovely Josh Kurp has 20 Reasons He's Proud Of American TV. Why did none of You People tell me that "The Simpsons" is still sometimes funny? (WG)

Speaking of fantastic American television, I finally mainlined the first season of "Louie" this weekend, and it was not only glorious and but it made this chart that much funnier. (Laughing Squid)

For those of you looking to make a move sometime soon, you may want to check out this fantastic map that reveals the world's earthquakes since 1898. Given that I'm notoriously terrible at geography, I haven't fully figured it out yet. But I did find Australia, so that's a start. (Space)

And while we're in an international state of mind, check out these amazing paintings of Star Wars characters in feudal Japanese dress. Oh, samurai Boba Fett, you complete me. (DVice)
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Speaking of nerdy art, here are several superheroes/villains as Picasso might have painted them. First of all, no Harvey Dent? Secondly, in this post-Magic Mike world, do we really need a speedo on Dr. Manhattan? (Unreality)

And though this has nothing to do with superheros or spaceships, this solar art instillation made from several miles of thread is fantastic. (Colossal)

In the aftermath of the Cruise/Holmes break-up, the Church of Scientology is, once again, under intense scrutiny. Allegedly Katie has compared her time with Tom to Roman Polanski's Rosemary's Baby. One of the internet's most popular gossip bloggers believes her site to be under attack from the Church and, jumping Jehoshaphat, when the king of shady, underhandedness, Rupert Murdoch, calls you creepy, you know your PR team is not doing its job. Who's to say what's going on in this divorce and what Katie will or will not say in order to get custody of her kid. What I do know is that now is as good a time as any to revisit this magnificent (but lengthy) piece we linked from The New Yorker in February of last year. There's something to be said for Katie Holmes who, like it or not, is considered one of America's Sweethearts, painting Scientology as a threat. Folks might actually start paying attention. (The New Yorker)

Sorry. That got a little out of hand. Let's remember Tom Cruise's better days with this look back at the history of the Fat Suit in Hollywood. For my money, Tom's Les Grossman is still the best of the best. (Vulture)

Finally, to class up your Monday, here's an "Ode To Joy" flashmob. Where were they hiding those timpani?


5 Shows After Dark 7/2/12 | The 10 Best and Five Worst Films of the First Half of 2012


Are you following Pajiba on Facebook or Twitter? Every time you do, Bill Murray crashes a wedding.


Comments Are Welcome, Bigots and Trolls Are Not


  • John G.

    I knew it! All the hackers in Anonymous are really just Katie Holmes on her designer Mac.

  • fpkillkill

    "Chatum Tanning." An ABC anchor kept calling him that and damned if I can get that out of my head now. Chatum Tanning. Tatum Chaning. Chamming Tatun. Chaming Tator. Charming Potato.

    WHAT THE FUCK IS HIS NAME?

  • branded_redux

    Slut Bunwalla.

  • John G.

    Englebert Humperdink

  • John W

    Ode to Joy. I guess humanity doesn't totally suck....

  • F'mal DeHyde

    Santorum looks like the kind of guy that got beat up a lot... and probably deserved it.

  • Four Eyes

    Whoa there! Cruise and Holmes broke up? I got some celeb reading to catch up on!

  • e jerry powell

    If neither Mimi Rogers nor Nicole Kidman could do it, what makes anyone think Katie Holmes can?

  • kirbyjay

    It was Mimi Rogers who got Cruise into Scientology.

  • A. Smith

    Then later left

  • e jerry powell

    I stand corrected.

  • ScienceGeek

    I have experienced two earthquakes. This is not exactly a great feat, they were so small that people who live near faultlines would call them 'Saturday'. But both times, I have been on the toilet, which never fails to add an extra layer of insecurity to the entire 'Holy fuck, the planet is moving!' experience.

    If it happens a third time, I can no longer consider it an amusing co-incidence, and will have to assume my digestive tract has some kind of superpower. I suppose that's just how it goes, really, some women get superpowered purses, some get Tremor Turds.

  • Uda

    David Miscavige is bringing Scientology down all on his own. There have been a lot of high profile Scientologists who have left the church recently, and it all has to do with him demanding more and more money. Anyway, I thought this article about the "Sec Checking" Suri would face was rather interesting:

    http://blogs.villagevoice.com/...

  • anikitty

    I had no idea that Vanilla Ice grew up to be such a Charming Potato.

  • laylaness

    Lainey Gossip isn't under attack by Scientology; someone just forgot to close a div.

  • Mitchell Hundred

    Flashmob? More like class-hmob.

  • lowercase_ryan

    I have to believe Josh Jackson is somehow behind this cause no way in HELL is Pacey gonna punked by some pint sized psycho. Oh and I bet he's Suri's dad too. You know I'm right.

  • barlowjk

    The Ode to Joy flashmob was ruined a bit by the fact that it's an ad for a bank. Even so, I wish I'd seen it.

  • KV

    It's a Spanish bank, nonetheless. And given what the Spanish banks have been going through, may be they needed LvB's uplifiting music.

  • Nadine

    Until yesterday I had only a vague interest in 'TomKat' (which surely has to be the worst fucking combo celebrity name) but now that Joey Motherfucking Potter might bring down Xenu I am geared for war.

    Actually, I'm mainly just afraid for Suri, who is a real kid in the middle of a scary situation. At the same time, I am morbidly curious to see what effect this might have on The Church and whether or not Joey Potter, who fucking pioneered lip bite/pause acting(Furreal, Bella Swan owes Joey billions) might actually destroy them.

  • bleujayone

    I'm wondering if Holmes or perhaps one of her family will encounter an "accident" in the not so distant future. People seem to forget that many folks that have bolted from the CoS's clutches and/or threatened them with exposure have often met with untimely fates that were completely coincidental and in no way connected to an organization who wants to keep their tax free money machine cult going. Then of course there is their other tactic where CoS employs and unleashes a legion of lawyers to tie nuisance people up in so much (questionable) legal lawsuits, red tape and financial bankruptcy that it would make any underworld deity consider outlawing lawyers as new recruits out fear of a takeover.

    Holmes has little chance to take them down, right now she should just play for her and her child's safety. My advice to her is play hardball. Write it all down, Video record it. Send every last smear of dirt you may have to anyone and everyone who will listen right now. The longer you keep any cards close to your vest, the greater a chance something might occur to make sure you never tip your hand. This group cannot be bargained with. If you have anything that can be used as ammunition, use it now and share it with others who can do the same.

  • Sara_Tonin00

    who are these people who have met with "untimely fates"? I've heard about the SeaLab and know about their terrible tactics, but conspiracies for murder? really?

  • laylaness
  • space_oddity

    I'm not denying the involvement of the Church in this case (and there have been other cases, not ending in death, but of negligence and abuse) - but I thought the OP was referring to the Co$ deliberately targeting defamers with violence, and I've certainly never heard of that. Co$ are a bureaucratized institution who rely primarily on legal bullying and intimidation to silence their critics, not out and out violence. That doesn't make them any less creepy or despicable, of course.

  • laylaness

    Sure, I get you. It was just the first case that came to mind as an example of an "untimely fate" associated with Scientology. I agree with you; they do rely on legal means to retaliate. Wouldn't want to be the bad guy, right?

  • Sara_Tonin00

    That happened 17 years ago, and is a kind of random case - that's why I was calling out the paranoia/fear-mongering of "someone might kill Katie Holmes or a loved one". And though McPherson wanted to leave the church, I've never heard a part of the story that she was going to go public against Scientology in any way.

    Again, I'm not saying Scientology is good, but I think supposing they're going to take a celebrity out is a bit much. (Haggis is still alive, isn't he?)

  • bleujayone

    It's hardly "fear-mongering" if there's truth behind it. There are many instances of former members who claimed to have been stalked, harassed and outright threatened with harm if they ever breathed a word about the inner workings to the outside world. There have been books, articles and case studies from people who have said things. And there have been cases where people who have spoken out or were in the process of doing so having turned up dead. Perhaps a few might be coincidences, but I rather doubt all of them are. And while I'm sure they would prefer less messy tactics, I have no doubt that if faced with someone that could threaten their livelihood (such as exposing one of their most visible and outspoken members in a bad light or maybe speaking out of the more unsavory parts about it) this quack organization wouldn't overlook more hardcore methods available.

    And since you brought it up, Haggis hasn't threatened to expose the CoS as a fraudulent or otherwise illegal organization, only that he no longer agrees with them and doesn't want to be a part of them. Big difference. They are still free to operate and collect revenue.

  • Sara_Tonin00

    ACK. Part of me says to walk away but -- I'm not ignorant of Scientology. I've followed the Voice articles (and hey, Ortega's still alive) but your answer is still lacking specifics, and that's what makes it so aggravating. What does There have been books, articles and case studies from people who have said things. even mean? That people who have spoken out against Scientology have lived to tell about it? You really think Katie Holmes even has that much dirt on Scientology - was she really trusted THAT FAR, farther than all the other stuff that's out there about the org - that they would take the pretty damn noticeable step of offing her? Worse than the videos and stories already out there about Cruise?

    I'm not saying that they don't use creepy tactics. Harassment. Isolation. Wilful neglect. But actual murder - give me something here - give me a name, a case, something.

    And if Katie Holmes turns up dead within the year, then I owe you a bottle of your choice liquor.

  • Bert_McGurt

    Why do I get the ironic feeling that Idaho Governor Butch Otter is no big fan of either butches or otters?

  • Devil Child

    Scientology will always be ridiculous, but as long as they keep up their deplorable tactics and blatant thuggery, they're downright dangerous. I wouldn't be surprised if Tom Cruise one day offers a bounty for the death of Salman Rushdie.

    They're barely a step above animal rights organizations in terms of stuff celebrities flock towards.

  • John G.

    "animal rights" that celebrities "flock" to? Clever!

  • John W

    What if Joey Potter brings down Scientology?

    Then she moves ahead of Michelle Williams as having the best post Creek career.

  • lowercase_ryan

    How dare you sir!!! Does either of those "actors" have their own Con? pff NO. Have either of them traveled to an alternate universe? pfffff no... well who knows where Tom took Katie on their Xenu sponsored magic carpet ride first date ala Aladdin "A whole new wooooooorld". This happened. But yeah, squirrel. Just promise never to slight Mr. Jackson, his career achievements dwarf those of all the other creek kids combined.

  • Long_Pig_Tailor

    RIP

  • Pookie

    I’m sorry but I’m with Team Cruise on this one, if Cruise has any fault it is that he’s been too nice to these broads that he has married. Holmes showed her hand when she ran off to New York to take advantage of it’s divorce laws, she was in it for the money from the beginning, and now she wants to use her child as a bargaining chip. Shame on you Katie.

  • L.O.V.E.

    If she was in it for the money she would have filed in California. By filing in NY the only hand she showed is that she cares more about her child than getting paid.

  • lowercase_ryan

    so what's she bargaining for? what's her end goal dookie?

  • Pookie

    So now if we disagree with someone it is ok to be both rude and vile? I did not raise a vile tongue towards you lowercase_ryan.

  • F'mal DeHyde

    What kind of tongue did you raise toward lowercase_ryan, hmmmm?

  • lowercase_ryan

    You're right Pookie, I apologize. I am curious what she needs a bargaining chip for though.

  • Miss Laaw-yuhr

    I'm also rather curious to know what "too nice" to these "broads" means. It's like this week's rant is a scene from "Chicago".

  • Sara Habein

    The eyebrow ring! Ah, the 90s/early-00s. (In fairness, the mister also had one from 2001-2003)

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