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Who Knew Cersei Had A Moon and Stars Or That Cronuts Were A Thing?

By Jodi Clager | Pajiba Love | June 4, 2013 | Comments ()


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Good morrow to you, kind comment-type people. You might notice that I am, in fact, not Dustin Rowles. I'm taking over today's PLove so that Our Venerable Overlord might celebrate his 8th anniversary with Mrs. Pajiba-Hyphenate. Happy Anniversary, you two crazy kids!

The Tator Tot has arrived! Channing "Charming Potato" Tatum and his wife Jenna Dewan-Tatum welcomed daughter Everly on Friday. Little Miss Everly will be dancing before she walks, mark my words! Aw, BABY!!! (People)

DON'T PANIC! Michael Douglas's ex-wife wants you to know that her bajingo didn't give him throat cancer. PHEW! (Celebitchy)

These Isla Fisher gifs should clean your brain of any thoughts of the previous link. Unless you like thinking about Michael Douglas having a husband bulge and doing...things. (Uproxx)

I know that some of you have PTSD from Sunday's "Game of Thrones" episode. Hell, I knew what was coming and I still haven't been able to make myself watch it, so I understand. I promise that this collection of the awesome Lena Headey's Twitter exploits will not hurt you, kittens. (Buzzfeed)

This imagining of Game of Thrones characters as The Gathering cards will also soothe you. Probably. (Unreality)

Perhaps you'd like to decompress with some gorgeous steampunk pieces, including a sweet octopus? DO IT ANYWAY. (Epbot)

Cronuts are the union of donuts and croissants into one odd-looking delight. Pastry chef Dominique Ansel's creations are selling for $5 each. There is also a black market for them where people pay $40! (The Atlantic Wire)

I recently perused a reddit thread that asked police officers what crazy excuses they've heard from people. None of those can compare to the idiot taking upskirts that claimed he was just trying to light a fart. (Huffington Post)

Someone get the Mystery Team on these dictionary mysteries, STAT! Personally, I would like a definitive answer to when the first mullet was sighted. (Mental Floss)

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If you are planning any air travel in your epic quest to track down the world's first mullet, be sure to avoid doing any of the things on this list. They will straight kick your ass off the flight. (Oddee)

I'm 95% sure that randomly yelling these facts about American muscle cars will also lead to being escorted off of a plane. People just can't stand to be educated, cripes. (Popular Mechanics)

Former Pajiba writer Brian Prisco has a Kickstarter in full-swing to raise funds for his writing. Visit his page if you are so inclined and would like to monetarily push him into writing twenty short stories. (Kickstarter)

Romano-Archives has uncovered color footage taken by French tourist Jean Vivier in 1939 New York. It is a beautiful, charming, and oddly soothing window into the past.

Finally, in celebration of the beautiful love shared by the Rowlesesessesss, I bring you the number one song on their wedding day. Enjoy.



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Comments Are Welcome, Jerks Will Be Banned


  • I went to high school with the guy on the left side of the picture with Donald Glover. He was a nice guy. Wouldn't have thought he would form a comedy group with the likes of Donald Glover, get to appear on Community and Mad Men, and write for Workaholics. Pretty cool.

  • lowercase_ryan

    Funk N Cronuts

  • Bananapanda

    So is it Jenna Dewans job to keep Everly off the pole?

  • e jerry powell

    It could be a career-maker, though. A guaranteed sequel that would pull Soderbergh out of retirement!

  • The Majority

    Ugh, Prisco.

  • Prisco

    That guy. He's the fucking worst.

  • Becks

    I miss Prisco.

  • Sara_Tonin00

    I had heard about cronuts, and have seen pictures and imagined their deliciousness, but I had not heard of the black market. This seems ideal - I can go to the bakery in the morning, buy two, then head to Central Park and wait in line for free Shakespeare tickets to scalp. This city is born for profit!!!

    Lena Headey does indeed seem way too cool for school. I love to see a beautiful woman who does not take herself seriously.

  • BWeaves

    I don't know. After seeing the photo, I'm less enamored of the idea of a cross between a donut and a croissant.

    The main problem I have is with the word "cronut." It sounds like a hard scaly protuberance on a testicle.

  • Sara_Tonin00

    Pronounce it "CRO-naut" and then it sounds fun & adventurey. I wonder what tasty planet I'm traveling to today.

  • BWeaves

    That sounds like a cro magnon astronaut.

  • Sherry

    I'd forgotten how much of a geek I was until I found myself closely evaluating the damage and toughness numbers for each of the GoT Magic cards. Those are pretty genius.

  • AgLexington

    Someone explain this Steampunk "thing"... I don't get it :-/

  • e jerry powell

    Me neefer.

  • Fredo

    DON’T PANIC! Michael Douglas’s ex-wife wants you to know that her bajingo didn’t give him throat cancer. PHEW!

    So who's vajayjay has Michael been linguiling cunningly?

  • e jerry powell

    Well, we know that CZ-J's vajayjay is all rainbows, unicorns and Aviance, so...

  • JJ

    I could be wrong, but I believe the traditional eighth anniversary gift is a showing of Tyler Perry's newest film.

  • Maguita NYC

    So the 9th anniversary gift would be divorce? Stick to paper Dustin and Mrs. Pajiba, the worst would be a paper cut. Happy Anniversary you crazy kids!

  • Sara_Tonin00

    Funny that you mention divorce -- and then "paper" as a benign gift.

  • Maguita NYC

    Dumb. Blonde. Moment. Par excellence.

  • Fredo

    Tyler Perry is too busy running Oprah's network.

  • BWeaves

    Pina Colada 5 cents!

    Happy anniversary Dustin and Mrs. Dustin.

  • dizzylucy

    That footage was amazing, but I too became distracted by the promise of 5 cent pina coladas.

  • PerpetualIntern

    It's our anniversary too, Dustin! But more importantly, it is ALSO National Cheese Day!

  • BWeaves

    So when should we expect the Everly Brothers to show up?

  • e jerry powell

    Wake up, Little Suzie...

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