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While You Were Campaigning for an Oprah Interview About Your Use Of Performance Enhancing Cake

By Courtney Enlow | Pajiba Love | January 15, 2013 | Comments ()


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Yeah. I dope. How do you think I blog so hard? This shit doesn't come naturally, people. To make this happen, I have to inject this directly into my ladytaint three times a day. You're welcome.

Come on, Lance. Did you learn nothing from the kids of Bayside High? There's no hope with dope. (USA Today)

You've probably heard about The Atlantic's Scientology sponsored post by now. Here's an overview and why it's fucked up. (Washington Post)

If my high school theology classes had been about "Angel" maybe I'd be religious. (The Awl)

Quvenzhane Wallis is my favorite child. Here she plays hide and seek with a HuffPo writer and declares all food to be rubber. (Huffington Post)

"Adventure Time" cake! I want to eat it and hug it! (Neatorama)

My boyfriends launched their own production studio, and their first feature will likely be a film version of their The Book of Mormon. If Andrew Rannells is not in it I will BURN THIS PLACE TO THE GROUND. (New York Times)

In a Sliding Doors universe, there's a version of the Backstreet Boys with Ryan Gosling. I REJECT THIS WORLD FOR THEIRS. (TMZ)

In the wake of Jodie Foster's public coming out while railing against the concept of a public coming out, Victor Garber has exited stage left from his own glass closet and has come out as someone who has spent the last thirteen years with this bearded, Rickman-esque stone fox. Well done, spy dad. (Celebitchy)

Tina Fey versus Taylor Swift is the single greatest celeb beef in the history of celeb beefs. Step aside, Frankie Muniz versus Shia LaBeouf. (Uproxx)

First off, this story regarding Jessica Chastain and Tom Hiddleston's alleged coupling is from the Daily Mail, so let's not put all our eggs in its basket or anything, that's not the story here. "Warhorse"'s Tom Hiddleston? Warhorse? He was in the biggest movie of 2012, but, yes, please, let's continue tying him to the fucking horse movie even Spielberg forgot about. (Daily Mail)

I mean, as plans go, Smurf burglars isn't a bad one. (Geekologie)

Aw, you guys, RIP pubic lice. :( (Slate)

A cleaning lady stole a train and promptly crashed it (it being A TRAIN) into a house. A train. She stole a train. I didn't know that was an option, but now it's all I want in the world. TRAIN HEIST, PEOPLE. Let's make it a thing. (Newser)

Finally, in "let's make everyone feel old!" news, today is the fifteenth anniversary of the trivia game episode of "Friends." You know. Miss Chanandeler Bong. That clip is unembeddable because god hates you, so I've instead included this instead. Rory is totally the Ross. (Vulture)







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Comments Are Welcome, Bigots and Trolls Are Not


  • Buck Forty

    I actually don't get all the fuss about Tina Fey's 'diss' of Taylor Swift. And I don't mean the fuss by the fans, I mean by Pajiba and other sites. The zing was weak.

    I liked the Dr Who as Friends clip, but felt it needed a 'dancing in the fountain' bit.

    I'm feeling great, Facebook!

  • Boothy K

    Okay....I need help. I've never watched Dr. Who and would like to but don't know where to begin. I could be convinced to go back, way back, and start from the beginning...But if someone out there can suggest a good jumping off point to get fully addicted (I'm ready to hunker down for the winter with this), I'd truly appreciate it!

  • In my own humble opinion, I say start with the new series, second season, the start of David Tennant. The Eccleston season is wildly inconsistent and if you like what you see and become a fan, THEN go back to that (and the old series if you become a major fan).

    Others might disagree and bust out their pitchforks but that's my well practiced answer!

  • Boothy K

    Thank you, Courtney!

  • dizzylucy

    Wow, I read that as Smurf "Burgers". I don't know what to make of that.

    The Friends trivia episode is still my favorite, the lighting round is brilliance.

  • babykangarootribbiani

    SHE STOLE A TRAIN?! how does one steal a train, exactly? i haven;t been this excited over nothing since i found out not only are there feral bees, there are beekeeping gangs...
    And i;m sorry, but why is taylor swift still a role model? she is about one more two and a half month relationship away from having a strain of herpes named after her, and all these little girls are still all" stay away from saint taylor!" taylor swift is like that girl in high school who gets a new boyfriend every three weeks and every guy she swears is going to be the guy she marries, goes on about it for an exhaustingly long time, then starts dating somebody else and the cycle starts all over again! please, somebody cut off taylor swift;s power supply, regina george style!

  • ang

    My dad used to work for the railroad and when I was a kid I got to drive one of the engines back and forth a short distance. If memory serves, all I had to do was push this bar forward and then pull it back. This was back in the '80's but I can't imagine trains have changed all that much.

  • "Rory is totally the Ross." HOW DARE YOU!

  • I mean it in the most adoring way. I love Rory! Seriously though-- a Who companion gets stuck in a pair of pants. Who's it gonna be? RORY!

  • I guess you're right. He would totally pivot.

  • Slash

    You go, Victor.

  • Kate at June

    Rory can't be Ross. I like Rory.

  • Long_Pig_Tailor

    Just PIVOT and get on-board with it!

  • Lemon_Poundcake

    That is my favorite episode of Friends ever. Endlessly quotable.

  • Vi

    The Onion's response to the Atlantic/Scientology sponsored post: http://www.theonion.com/articl...

  • Bedewcrock

    i love your rage, Courtney. love it.

  • Samantha Klein

    Aw, and now that Fassbender is single again I was back to my Fasstain hopes and dreams. Alas. (I don't buy it, actually, but who knows?)

  • TheAggroCraig

    Ladytaint...I think they played the state fair last year.

  • InternetMagpie

    Victor Garber's partner is SO HOT. DAYUM.

  • Bedewcrock

    I'm so happy that got posted as a link.

    He's divine. He's like the cover of a romance novel set in the Scottish Highlands. He's ginger to my plaid! DIVINE.

    Also, i creep stalked the photo of Victor Garber officiating at Ben Affleck and Jennifer Garner's elopement. The hot partner is the ONLY WITNESS. Adorable.

  • Scully

    The Slate article is fantastic. I hope The Onion doesn't take legal action.

  • InternetMagpie

    "Says one scientist: 'Pubic lice are the dinosaurs, and Sex and the City was the asteroid.'"

    HAHAHAHAHA

  • BWeaves

    You know, I'm not surprised that someone could steal a train. What surprises me is that she ran it into a house. Don't those things run on tracks that don't go into nice neighborhoods? And don't they have stoppers or something at the end to prevent the train from running off the tracks? And why would you want to steal a train? It's not like you can get away with it.

  • Carlito

    Darn kids nowadays. Hasn't she ever watched Under Siege 2: Dark Territory?

  • Zirza

    Victor Garber's lover looks loverly, but c'mon, Rickman? Try Peter Mullan.

  • Miss Kate

    Either way, he'll be guest starring in my dreams tonight. Rrrowrrr

  • Miss Kate

    I read that at first as PUBLIC lice. Nevermind.

  • Bert_McGurt

    Just depends how promiscuous one is, really.

  • BWeaves

    Me, too.

  • Pants_are_a_must

    Tom Hiddleston wishes, to be honest.

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