While You Were Campaining for an Oprah Interview About Your Use Of Performance Enhancing Cake
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While You Were Campaigning for an Oprah Interview About Your Use Of Performance Enhancing Cake

By Courtney Enlow | Pajiba Love | January 15, 2013 | Comments ()


Yeah. I dope. How do you think I blog so hard? This shit doesn't come naturally, people. To make this happen, I have to inject this directly into my ladytaint three times a day. You're welcome.

Come on, Lance. Did you learn nothing from the kids of Bayside High? There's no hope with dope. (USA Today)

You've probably heard about The Atlantic's Scientology sponsored post by now. Here's an overview and why it's fucked up. (Washington Post)

If my high school theology classes had been about "Angel" maybe I'd be religious. (The Awl)

Quvenzhane Wallis is my favorite child. Here she plays hide and seek with a HuffPo writer and declares all food to be rubber. (Huffington Post)

"Adventure Time" cake! I want to eat it and hug it! (Neatorama)

My boyfriends launched their own production studio, and their first feature will likely be a film version of their The Book of Mormon. If Andrew Rannells is not in it I will BURN THIS PLACE TO THE GROUND. (New York Times)

In a Sliding Doors universe, there's a version of the Backstreet Boys with Ryan Gosling. I REJECT THIS WORLD FOR THEIRS. (TMZ)

In the wake of Jodie Foster's public coming out while railing against the concept of a public coming out, Victor Garber has exited stage left from his own glass closet and has come out as someone who has spent the last thirteen years with this bearded, Rickman-esque stone fox. Well done, spy dad. (Celebitchy)

Tina Fey versus Taylor Swift is the single greatest celeb beef in the history of celeb beefs. Step aside, Frankie Muniz versus Shia LaBeouf. (Uproxx)

First off, this story regarding Jessica Chastain and Tom Hiddleston's alleged coupling is from the Daily Mail, so let's not put all our eggs in its basket or anything, that's not the story here. "Warhorse"'s Tom Hiddleston? Warhorse? He was in the biggest movie of 2012, but, yes, please, let's continue tying him to the fucking horse movie even Spielberg forgot about. (Daily Mail)

I mean, as plans go, Smurf burglars isn't a bad one. (Geekologie)

Aw, you guys, RIP pubic lice. :( (Slate)

A cleaning lady stole a train and promptly crashed it (it being A TRAIN) into a house. A train. She stole a train. I didn't know that was an option, but now it's all I want in the world. TRAIN HEIST, PEOPLE. Let's make it a thing. (Newser)

Finally, in "let's make everyone feel old!" news, today is the fifteenth anniversary of the trivia game episode of "Friends." You know. Miss Chanandeler Bong. That clip is unembeddable because god hates you, so I've instead included this instead. Rory is totally the Ross. (Vulture)

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