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Which Would You Prefer In Your Rom Coms? More Blood Or More Helen Mirren? What If You Didn't Have To Choose?

By Joanna Robinson | Posted Under Pajiba Love | Comments (39)



helen-mirren-460b_798615c.jpeg

My rational brain (and some light googling) tells me the following pictures are a result of the Visible Human Project. I cannot, however, hear my rational brain because my id is shrieking, “Ghosts!” and “Bansheeeeeees!!!” (Project 1231)

I dunno if there are pharmaceuticals that will muffle a shrieking id (Shrieking Ids, band name, dibs), but scientists are reportedly working on drugs to improve our ethical behavior. Make us more moral and empathetic, etc. Yup, that’s some Phillip K. Dick sh*t right there. (The Guardian)

I mean, I’m already, like, FLOODED with empathy. Take this potential government shut-down debacle and all the government workers who will be forced into an unpaid furlough. My heart bleeds. Except for you, DMV employees who hung up on me repeatedly yesterday. You guys can go eff yaselves. (Gawker)

On that F-note, Holy Schmexy Gender-Bending Justice League, Bat(wo)man! My favorite detail? The forelock on Super(wo)man. What’s yours? It’s Thor’s tiny-whities, isn’t it? Sicko. (Flickr)

Now some people dress as superheroes, and some people believe themselves to be superheroes. I’m not talking about adorable Kick-Assery, I’m talking about this young pilot who thought he could beach-land his plane because he had “seen it on TV.” The best part of this article is how much the NYT reporter obviously HATES this kid and how little he tries to hide his disdain. (NYT)

The real heroes? Those kids at Emerson College who staged a musical production of The Human Centipede. Oh yes. YOU HEARD ME. I haven’t watched this video yet, but I can’t wait to see the choreography and they must have saved a bundle on lyricists… (Movieline)

If someone could make an infographic about this infographic about infographics that would make it The Human Centipede of charts, right? Or the Inception of charts? I guess we’d need an inexplicable snow fortress for that. (The Curious Brain)

Speaking of JGL and dreams, how long do ya’ll sleep? Apparently some people only need to sleep a few hours. I prefer to sleep ALL the hours AND drink coffee by the vatful. So…you know…that’s healthy. (WSJ)

You’re still thinking about The Human Centipede, aren’t you? I’m sorry. Here, look at this cuddly Disney version of the Loch Ness Monster. It’s for their new hand-drawn short and I think she looks like Pete’s Dragon! Boo Bop Bopbop Bop! (io9)

Wow, I just lost ALL the cool points, didn’t I? I shall now distract you with the exciting news that the final season of “Friday Night Lights” is available on Netflix! Not on Instant, no, but on their disc thingers. I know, you’re thinking “THE MAIL?! WHO USES THE MAIL ANYMORE, JOANNA!?!” I’ve seen the season, my little Dillon Lions, trust me, it’s worth all that exhausting ripping and peeling and sticking. (Warming Glow)

The following video portion is a trilogeeee of fake film trailers. First, this nifty X-Men: First Class trailer that almost makes me forget I hate January Jones. Almost.

Then, this delightful spoof trailer of every Boston movie cliché.

And, finally, I won’t tell you the title of the fake movie being advertised here, because of spoilers, but it stars Helen Mirren, Billy Crystal, Adam Scott, Maya Rudolph, gentrophilia and some fake blood.


Joanna Robinson will totally have what she’s having. Email! Twitter!









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Comments

Re: Ethics in a pill

They tried that on Miranda. Didn't turn out well.

Posted by: meh at April 6, 2011 1:15 PM

It's not Thor
its Power Boy
and that's pretty hilarious

(There's a character called Power Boy? Oh cripesalive.-JR)

Posted by: PyD at April 6, 2011 1:21 PM

They tried that on Miranda. Didn't turn out well.

The lamestream media said that it was all just a "terraforming event". They're only emboldening the Reaverists!

Posted by: branded at April 6, 2011 1:23 PM

Wait, so does that mean the real character is PowerGirl and she wears a white bikini?

Posted by: Three-nineteen at April 6, 2011 1:26 PM

You lure me in with talk of Helen Mirren and something about blood and I frantically scroll down to find out it's a Funny or Die clip?! Which I can't see at work?!? All the best stuff is always blocked at my stupid work. AHHHHH!

This isn't over Robinson. I'll remember this. I mean, HOPEFULLY I'll remember, so I can watch it when I get home.

Posted by: Paultera at April 6, 2011 1:26 PM

Actually? Power Girl looks pretty badass. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Power_Girl

Posted by: coveredinbees at April 6, 2011 1:27 PM

We already have an ethics-improving drug: my man juice. Line forms to the left, ladies. Fellas, leave your cups on the table over there and you'll get a sample in the mail*.

*sorry gp

Posted by: Kballs at April 6, 2011 1:28 PM

Due to the gender flip, it's Power Boy (normally Power Girl).

Posted by: Kargoyle at April 6, 2011 1:30 PM

No, you daft woman. There's a Power Girl. All the characters are gender-reversed. Hence, here we see Power Boy, Superwoman and Aquabitch. Hmm, I guess that last one didn't change.

There are female Green Lanterns, but the only direct female take on one of the pictured characters is Batwoman.

/NERD

Posted by: Tawmmy at April 6, 2011 1:30 PM

You lose no cool points from me for mentioning Pete's Dragon. "I've got a bill of saaaaaaaale!"

That private pilot story on NYTimes is indeed hilarious, and I haven't skimmed the paper today, so I would have missed it.

Posted by: Sara Tonin at April 6, 2011 1:30 PM

A DRAGON?!

A DRAGON!!

I SWEAR I SAW A DRAGON!!!

Posted by: penelope at April 6, 2011 1:31 PM

Whoops. Forgot to change the ol' alias. Heh. (cough)

Posted by: Tracer Bullet at April 6, 2011 1:32 PM

Can't you hear that jingle-jangle sound?
It's money! Money! MONEY by the pound!

Posted by: penelope at April 6, 2011 1:37 PM

Note to self, "Refresh the page before commenting"

Posted by: Kargoyle at April 6, 2011 1:38 PM

Has anybody seen my dad??

Posted by: penelope at April 6, 2011 1:43 PM

OK, I'm just gonna say it: I want that Green Lantern girl to ride me like a pony.

Posted by: Exploding Head Syndrome at April 6, 2011 1:43 PM

I'd watch the Funny or Die movie.

Posted by: Tracer Bullet at April 6, 2011 1:47 PM

Emerson College student right here. Several of my friends are in that video. I'm not sure if I'm ridiculously proud or considering never speaking to them again.

Posted by: beckster at April 6, 2011 1:50 PM

I read the story about that "pilot" kid this morning. Minimally, he should be charged with wasting emergency services time, have to pay the costs of all involved and be banned from flying. Who the fuck thinks its funny to take a plane into a residential area of New York without authorization from ATC? You can be arrested and banned from flying just for running through security at an airport.
God, I hate rich kids.

Posted by: PaddyDog at April 6, 2011 1:54 PM

I want that movie to be real so I can beat those snot-nosed Emerson kids in turning it into a musical.

Posted by: Robert at April 6, 2011 1:59 PM

Tsk tsk tsk. Thor is Marvel, not DC and therefore not Justice League. Did you really pass my class JR? I'm gonna have to go look back over your papers and tests to look for cheating.

As if I didn't already love the Green Lantern. My willpower is yours to command sweetheart.

Posted by: Socrates_Johnson at April 6, 2011 2:05 PM

I'll be your candle on the water,
My love for you will always burn...

Posted by: Patty O'Green at April 6, 2011 2:23 PM

Oh my word, there is an article on i09 about casting a female Doctor Who, and while the list is good it is not correct. It should read like this:
Tilda Swinton
Tilda Swinton
Tilda Swinton
Tilda Swinton
Tilda Swinton

Posted by: Patty O'Green at April 6, 2011 2:29 PM

Srsly - the GenderBent Justice League is really my favorite Internet thing this week.

I was already losing it when I saw Green Lantern (mad hawt), the Flash (so cute), the retro Girl Plastic Man (with heels!), and the SuperWoman with hair curl and Betty Page lipstick.

Then I finally saw the Boys Team and got the complete gag. Boy Power Girl is just wicked and who would ever have considered Boy Vixen and Boy Black Canary?

Great, great cosplay.

Here's some vid:

WonderCon 2011: Friday:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bawJHRXKcWs

WonderCon 2011 : Saturday HD:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HuPsZrmj7F4

Sooooo many sexy nerd girls.
~~~

Posted by: Meander at April 6, 2011 2:33 PM

However, there's already a Batwoman.

This is what she currently looks like:
http://1979semifinalist.files.wordpress.com/2009/06/batwoman1.jpg

I'm pretty sure I have a crush on Aquawoman.

Posted by: Jay at April 6, 2011 2:36 PM

Black Canary?

Posted by: Jay at April 6, 2011 2:40 PM

Wow, I just lost ALL the cool points, didn’t I?

Oh HARDLY, but you're about to lose my interest talking about that damn show.

MONEY MONEY MONEY BY THE POUND!

Posted by: Jay at April 6, 2011 2:44 PM

Black Canary?

Posted by: Jay at April 6, 2011 2:40 PM

Go to the Saturday video at 1:38

Posted by: Meander at April 6, 2011 2:50 PM

No one else?

No one?

I saw "Pete's Dragon" in the theater! Possibly twice!

I'M YOUR CANDLE ON THE WATER, BITCHES!

Posted by: Jay at April 6, 2011 3:01 PM

Then, this being Pajiba, someone'll tell me it's actually "The Rescuers" that's cool.

Fine, we'll be over here with Mickey, asshole.


I don't have much work to do today.

Posted by: Jay at April 6, 2011 3:05 PM

X-Men: First Class trailer kinda looks like "Mad X-Men". Capitalize much?

Posted by: Odnon. at April 6, 2011 3:06 PM

Jay, everyone knows the truly cool film from Disney is The Great Mouse Detective. He's just so dapper in his little suit and magnifying glass.

Posted by: Robert at April 6, 2011 3:37 PM

I saw that in the theater too, Robert

AND "The Black Cauldron".

So hipsters best check themselves before they talk any shit.

Posted by: Jay at April 6, 2011 3:46 PM

Love The Black Cauldron. Sure, it's nothing like the books, but that doesn't stop people from liking Snow White or Sleeping Beauty, now, does it? More Disney animated high fantasy please, thanks.

Posted by: Robert at April 6, 2011 4:38 PM

I'd watch that Funny of Die movie, too. That was even better than the original.

Posted by: BWeaves at April 6, 2011 4:58 PM

I love January Jones.

Posted by: sevenstories at April 6, 2011 6:38 PM

I LOVE the NYT article about the young hotshot plane flyer- jeez, he sure comes off like an uppity prick, don't he?

While reporters are normally (and should be) unbiased in their articles, the NYT guy gets props for the restraint he DID manage to keep to himself!

And thanks for that beautiful Helen Mirren picture up top- your 'Love' is always a blast, Joanna.

Posted by: Tony at April 6, 2011 6:46 PM

Beckster, I too went to Emerson and somehow the Emerson-Human Centripede news doesn't surprise me in the lightest. Who else would go there? (Don't go there).

Posted by: cinekat at April 7, 2011 4:13 AM

Gaw, Joanna, you said "Human Centipede" three times. You've summoned it! Now it's gonna slither all over the site. Or underneath your bed, maybe. Fuck knows . . .

Posted by: Lauren at April 7, 2011 5:40 AM