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Which Ass-Kicking Babe Would Top Your List For The Planned All-Female Expendables?

By Joanna Robinson | Pajiba Love | August 20, 2012 | Comments ()


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Happy Monday ferocious fallopians. I'm just going to leave this headline here without comment: "Other Things Missouri Representative Todd Akin Believes To Be True About The Uterus, Besides Its Ability To "Shut Down" A Legitimate Rape." (The Awl)

Dustin breaks down the best previews for upcoming fall tv Dramas. My favorite? Obviously the one with buckets of Claire Danes and her crazy eyes. (WG)

Bierce_Ambrose sent along this "best of" body paint link. I've included a totally innocuous one, but a few of them are a bit more titillating (yet SFW). (Buzzfeed)
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Someone has made a fun little Addams Family portrait comprised of Lannisters. WARNING: super sly book spoiler Thing. Proceed with caution you TV-Only spoilerphobes. (Neatorama)

Apparently, an all-female Expendables flick is in the works. First Showing has a pretty great starter list of who should feature but missed out on the a) most obvious and b) hottest choice. (First Showing)
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...Though, really, to make it comparable to the male edition, oughtn't we cast Helen Mirren, Judi Dench, Maggie Smith, etc.? F*ck me, I would watch that movie.

Comic legend and kick-ass babe Phyllis Diller passed away today. Seriously, Death, back off. (Atlantic)

Speaking of "kick-ass," check out this delightful encounter between a young man and an elderly gentleman he met in a coffee shop. It's...it's just sort of righteous. (Joel Runyon)

If you're a fan of "Breaking Bad" (or, like me, have awkward, steamy dreams about Aaron Paul), I urge you to check out this fantastic "Breaking Bad" art project at Gallery 1988. (Laughing Squid)
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My confusion over Tony Scott's apparent suicide abated slightly when I learned the director had inoperable brain cancer. That information doesn't make the loss any less keen. MovieLine has a list of some of his best films you can watch this week in memoriam. You'll be missed, Mr. Scott but, now and forever, you're so cool, you're so cool, you're so cool. (MovieLine)

The Oldboy cast just got way motherf*cker cooler. (FSR)

How to turn a novel into a movie in four easy steps. Yup, that's about right. (The High Definite)

Have you seen Bradley Cooper at The Elephant Man? BYO emu jokes, I got nothing. (FilmDrunk)

Finally, here are the three lovely ladies in the running to play Captain America's love interest in the upcoming Cap sequel. My choice would be the absolutely perfect Felicity Jones. She's got that Haley Atwell thang. (The Mary Sue)
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Joanna Robinson thought Whedon was setting up a Captain America/Robin Scherbatsky romance. Did she dream that?


The Awakening Review: Another Ghost Movie That's +11 On the Cochlea Scale | True Romance Review (Tony Scott Edition): You're So Cool


Are you following Pajiba on Facebook or Twitter? Every time you do, Bill Murray crashes a wedding.


Comments Are Welcome, Bigots and Trolls Are Not


  • Noa Tishby

    "Mikel Dayan: Mikel Dayan was the fixer on Marcus Starke's crew. She is played by actress Noa Tishby. Born in Israel, Dayan is ex-Mossad. She has highly developed fighting skills and is an excellent shot. She was a sniper in Myanmar in 2003, and may have been the sniper who shot Eliot Spencer in that same country that same year. "

    http://leverage.wikia.com/wiki...

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/N...

  • Wembley

    Oh, Hell yeah! She and Gina need to throw down.

  • BlackRabbit

    I vote for Poots as Cap's GF, just because I enjoy saying her name. Or have a cross-geek meltdown and cast someone from Firefly.

  • Mrs. Julien

    I vote for "poots" full stop. It's so much fun to say.

  • Bernie

    Female expendables movie, there was an appalling 80's action movie staring that bulky square jawed foreign sounding dude who isn't Dolph Lundgren where he cherry picked a bunch of lady assassins and they went off to, umm South America and pretended to be models. Oh man one of them was a Jewish assassin called Jericho. Oh man it was terrible, I watched it often, what the hell was it called? There was a line like "16 top PLO henchmen in 3 months and then the world stopped hearing about Jericho" No amount of googling will answer what this priceless flick was called.

    Also the male bad guy had to pretend to be gay, It was amazeballs.

  • Haley Atwell had that Haley Atwell thing. What? She can't be frozen solid as well? For all the chemistry the producers allowed her to play in the first go, her loins could just as well have been frozen. Hmm, I sense a porn adaptation thread here. I'll be in my bunk...

  • Orleanas

    Michelle Yeoh is number one and mandatory on my list for such a film. I wondered why she wasn't chosen for The Expendables II because I was not familiar with Yu Nan. Thereafter, Linda Hamilton, Sigourney Weaver,
    Uma Thurman, Franka Potente, Jamie Lee Curtis, and Gina Torres.

  • alwaysanswerb

    Linda Hamilton
    Pam Grier
    Gina Carano
    Uma Thurman
    Gina Torres
    Michelle Rodriguez
    Katee Sackhoff
    Aisha Tyler (totally counts, because Lana, and also reasons)
    Sigourney Weaver
    Michelle Yeoh

    /list

  • CMooreVerdad

    I'm with you on the Amerbatsky romance. Was I just shipping the two clean-cut characters?

  • an all female expendables- hmm. Could be cool, except its kinda been done, by my generation's very best: Kill Bill vol. 1 had the most bad assed Chickas of them all.

  • Artemis

    I would be way more excited about a female version of The Expendables. My dream casting would be:
    -Sigourney Weaver
    -Jamie Lee Curtis
    -Angelina Jolie
    -Lucy Liu
    -Milla Jovovich
    -Pam Grier
    -Michelle Yeoh
    -Linda Hamilton
    -Lucy Lawless
    -Gina Torres

  • firedmyass

    Throw in cameos by Lynda Carter, Julie Newmar and Yvonne Craig and I'm so old. (I originally meant to type "sold" there at the end, but apparently my iPad has a very mean streak.)

  • dahlia6

    Hell yes. Pam Grier doesn't get nearly enough work these days.

  • TheOtherGreg

    Yes to Franka Potente. I know this crowd wouldn't go for Scarlett Johannson, but how about Luther's Ruth Wilson. Also, Katee Sackhoff?

  • Sara_Tonin00

    Ok, to be fair to Bradley Cooper...that's how the Elephant Man is typically performed on stage. http://www.nytimes.com/slidesh...

    "A uterus is capable of holding up to twelve ounces of venom but cannot experience the human feeling of regret." killing me. That whole list was amazing.

  • Johnnyseattle

    I knew as soon as I read that header that Michelle Rodriguez and her one facial expression (angrily constipated) would be mentioned. She's near the top of a list of "why are they popular" people for me. Gina Carano would look hot doing pretty much anything though, and I'd watch the hell out of it if it meant watching her bounce around killing people for 2 hours.

  • no one

    For an all woman Expendables I liked most of their choices, especially Sigoourney, Milla, Michelle Rodriguez and Linda Hamilton. But I can think of two others they didn’t list.

    Jenette Goldstein: for you non SiFi nerds that Pvt Vasquez from Aliens.

    And of course Angelina Jolie. Isn’t she supposed to be the only woman who can open an action movie right now?

  • Bronson

    If they're mining the 80s for the Female Expendables like they did with the male version, they could throw a paycheck to Cynthia Rothrock for shits and giggles. I'm guessing she has done much this side of 1991.

  • space_oddity

    Or Brigitte Neilsen... I hear she's not busy lately. http://www.bourgy.com/wordpres...

  • The female Expendables list isn't a bad list, for a list that shouldn't exist. Those ladies should not be debasing themselves with shite like that.
    On a side note, I finally saw Haywire and was pleased and impressed. And Gina Carano kicks serious arse.

  • BlackRabbit

    "Debasing"? Yeah, women are too pure and innocent to make a film like that, right?

  • Salieri2

    I didn't read zeke_the_pig's comment as a reference to purity or innocence, but rather acting talent.

  • Nah, men are too. But the damage's been done there.

  • Guest

    I adore her. I want a Whedon-directed Wonder Woman with GC NOW.

  • Maguita NYC

    "Though, really, to make it comparable to the male edition, oughtn’t we cast Helen Mirren, Julie Walters, etc.? F*ck me, I would watch that movie."

    I believe that movie had already been made; Heard of Calendar Girls? Action sequences are much more believable in this one. Nothing to say of those old broads' balls are much tighter than the old hogs' in Expandables.

  • JoannaRobinson

    Heard of it. Saw it with me mam. It needed more guns.

  • lowercase_ryan

    Helen Mirren was kind of awesome in Red.

  • Jim

    I remember it like it was yesterday. The "Red" trailer played, the other half and I turned to each other:

    Me: Dame Helen Mirren with automatic weapons!
    He: We're there!

  • Maguita NYC

    She absolutely was! The classy meemaw with a machinegun. Dame Mirren should be included in any Lady-Expandables production, blowing things and shit up.

  • Maguita NYC

    I found them to be viciously wild though with their needles and knitting kits.

  • Joe Grunenwald

    I am shamed. I don't know who the very attractive young lady in the header photo is.

  • Maguita NYC

    I believe it is the woman who kicked everyone's ass (even Charming Potato's) in Haywire: Gina Carano... No?

  • Joe Grunenwald

    Ahhh, yes, thank you. Keep meaning to watch Haywire.

  • Guest

    Do.

  • mswas

    I'd add Franka Potente to the female Expendables.

  • SugarSmak

    So sorry to hear about Phyllis Diller. Yeah, she was 95, but to me she was timeless. I saw the documentary about her, "Goodnight, We Love You" on Netflix a few months ago and I think any student of comedy should add it to their "must watch" list (it's a great way to pay your respects to a very funny lady as well.)

  • BWeaves

    Last I heard, she was dating Paul Sand, who was about 20 years or more younger than she was. I had the biggest crush on Paul Sand back in the 1970s, but he never really made it big.

  • BendinIntheWind

    That Captain America shortlist has just reminded me that Hayley Atwell will not be in the sequel, and now I am INCONSOLABLE. Nothing against these lovely ladies, but I will forever be disappointed that the first Marvel love interest to actually impress me got screwed by the time-travel-continuum. :(

  • Sorry I, um, prematurely posted.

    What you said.

  • calliope1975

    I say slap a wig on Haley or dye her hair, and call her Sharon. I will gladly suspend my disbelief.

  • BendinIntheWind

    Why not! It wouldn't be any more distracting than Tony Stark in Iron Man II telling Don Cheadle "I didn't expect to see you here..." after he replaced Terrence Howard. All you need is an adorably bewildered Chris Evans staring at her and then saying "Oh, um, sorry... you just... I thought you were someone else." Problem: SOLVED

  • Anne At Large

    Fine by me, I need more Hayley Atwell in my life. She is lovely.

  • space_oddity

    It would just be creepy.

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