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What's So Sexy About A Woman Holding A Gun? Aren't Guns Just A Giant Penis Metaph-oh

By Joanna Robinson | Posted Under Pajiba Love | Comments (26)



09101002_Resident_Evil_Milla_Jovovich_01.jpg

Happy Monday my gorgeous glocks. My hedonistic howitzers. We’re going to start the day right with a little bit of eye candy. This photo gallery of Hot Chicks With Weapons purports to be empowering, but let’s just call a scantily clad spade a spade, shall we? I don’t agree with every choice, but still enjoyed the Good, the Bad and the Bellucci. (Unreality)

Speaking of babes with weapons, Jason over at The Film Experience has a nice little round-up of upcoming horror films including this weekend’s Rachel Weisz and Naomi Watts Run About Histrionically Panting and the upcoming The Thing: No, Not That Thing, The Other Thing. (The Film Experience)

If I ever make a horror film, the entire soundtrack will be comprised of this screechingly weird Metallica/Lou Reed collaboration. It’s mildly more pleasing to the ears than sawing lumber. (Village Voice)

Speaking of wood cutting, check out these elaborately carved surf boards. I’m not sure they’re functional, but I’d be willing to rub my Pineapple Sex Wax all over them. (Laughing Squid

I don’t know if the ad wizards over at MAC were eating pineapple sex meths when they created this baffling new campaign, but it would appear they consulted admin. Never a good idea. h/t Tracy Carlson (MAC)

The folks over at AudioSuede have a list of The Best Tracks Off Of Lousy Albums. Um, teenage me would like her money back for the Chumbawumba album she bought. SHUT UP, TUBTHUMPING IS A GREAT SONG. (AudioSuede)

After I’ve had a whiskey drink, a cider, drink, a vodka drink and a lager drink, my language gets a little salty. That’s why the good lords of the internets invented Samuel L. Ipsum. Yes your code deserves to die and I hope your server crashes and burns in H*ll! h/t mswas (Samuel L. Ipsum)

And as romantic a sport as it may seem, I’m glad the tradition of bullfighting is on its way out. Barcelona has seen its last bullfight. (Reuters)

Environmentalist and Nobel Prize-winner Wangari Maathai died this Sunday. She was an extraordinary and amazingly accomplished lady. (Guardian)

That’s right folks, I mourn environmentalists and care about animal cruelty. California Girl here. That’s why our state sammich is made of tempeh, avocado and smug self-righteousness. Check out this article to see if they got your state sammich right. The Official Sammich of Pajiba Nation? Roast Beefcake on Wry Bread of course. (GOOD)

Jonah Hill has obviously been eating a lot of tempeh. He’s not only fitter, he’s also coming off as a lot smarter/saner/grounded in interviews. ALRIGHT FINE I’LL SEE YOUR BASEBALL MOVIE. (Celebitchy)

Finally, for the niche audience that loves both “Community” and “Doctor Who,” last week’s premiere featured a little treat in the spoof “Inspector Spacetime.” Now there’s a tumblr. It’s obscure nerd heaven. (Inspector Spacetime)

You know how I was talking earlier about California and our smug self-righteousness? That’s because we do yoga. Man, woman and zombie. Yup, everyone is balanced, centered and smug. JOIN US.

Yoga Outreach - Zombies from Spy Films on Vimeo.

And while I’m such a united state of mind, here are all the nation’s states and capitals. In movies (and TV?). That’salotta Bradley Whitford.

Joanna Robinson now has “Standing Outside A Broken Phone Booth With Money In My Hand” stuck in her head. Ever since the day we met, Pajibans, ever since the day we met.









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Comments

It was great to see Abed get into pretty-much-Dr. Who. Only one question gave me pause. HOW THE HECK WOULD ABED NOT ALREADY KNOW ABOUT DR. WHO!?!

Posted by: Socrates_Johnson at September 26, 2011 1:18 PM

Just so you guys know...it's mah birthday today.

That is all.

Carry on.

Posted by: Candee at September 26, 2011 1:22 PM

Happy Birthday! It's a great day to have one.

Posted by: Socrates_Johnson at September 26, 2011 1:26 PM

Heheheheheehehhehe. Soon, my pretties. Soon. Really though, until clown porn makes it into the mainstream, I have a lot of work to do.

Posted by: admin at September 26, 2011 1:27 PM

Would it be OK to substitute a Kaiser pun for the bread? I'm assuming from the groans the answer is no.

Posted by: Socrates_Johnson at September 26, 2011 1:34 PM

Happy Birthday to Candee, SO-Crates and Smokin. May all your porn be clown porn.

Posted by: coveredinbees at September 26, 2011 1:36 PM

SAMMICH? Really Pajiba, you're going there? The word, for the last hellfired time, is SAND-WICH! I hear this half a dozen times a day at the evil dayjob. That, and sam-widge. WTF is that? Most of those letters aren't even in that word! For the love of God and my ever slipping sanity, call it a sand-WICH! I'm begging you with all that's within in me to be begged with.

Posted by: dahlia6 at September 26, 2011 2:03 PM

Um, teenage me would like her money back for the Chumbawumba album she bought.

Are you kidding me?!? I loved the whole album! Sometimes I still sing them alone in my car. "There are those... spend their nights... under bridges... over by the river..."

#iaintevenplayin

Posted by: Patty O'Green at September 26, 2011 2:16 PM

I recently read a news article that described Chumbawumba as being "anarcho-punk", and also that the lead singer once poured a bucket of ice water on John Prescott's head at the Brit Awards b/c he was outraged that Prescott, a Labour politician, was appearing at the awards in an attempt to make Labour seem edgy and down with the youths. I find this completely awesome. This does not jibe with the whisky drink lager drink cider drink song.

Posted by: Cara at September 26, 2011 2:31 PM

Someone give dahlia6 an insulin shot and a sammich, their diabeetus is acting up.

@Soc: I saw from Dan Harmon, somewhere, that in the "Community" universe "Doctor Who" is actually a rip-off of "Inspector Spacetime," so maybe "Who" never made it to the states there? Of course, that begs the question, how did Abed not already know about "Spacetime?" My theory: He's been so immersed in American pop culture that he hasn't branched out to other nations' pop output? Also, it's just a TV show, you should really just relax (especially on your birthday).

Posted by: RobP at September 26, 2011 2:41 PM

"The Official Sammich of Pajiba Nation? Roast Beefcake on Wry Bread of course."

I assumed that the official sandwich had bacon in it. Or have we gone health conscious around these parts?

Posted by: Scully at September 26, 2011 2:42 PM

TUBTHUMPING IS A GREAT SONG.

.............

Sammich

.............

Posted by: Jay at September 26, 2011 2:43 PM

Cougartown isn't returning until mid-season and you expect me to relax?

*deep breath* sixseasonsandamovie *deep breath*

(Actually I haven't seen much of Cougartown, though I'm thinking I should give it a shot.)

Posted by: Socrates_Johnson at September 26, 2011 2:46 PM

Too late - there will never be another new episode of Cougartown.

(When it comes back it's going to have a different name.)

Posted by: Three-nineteen at September 26, 2011 3:01 PM

An insulin shot AND a sandwich Rob? Both high and low blood sugar solutions? Come on man, has Wilfred Brimley taught us NOTHING!! The proper course of treatment for Dia-beetus is bacon.

Posted by: Mrcreosote at September 26, 2011 3:03 PM

Hot girls with a gun? For you consideration I present the lovely Jaimie Alexander(Sif from Thor)

http://i402.photobucket.com/albums/pp102/aboutnici/Jaimie%20Alexander/Jaimie-Gun.jpg

Posted by: YesPlease at September 26, 2011 3:16 PM

Milla Jovovich can hold my gun anytime.
That's right. I took it. Noone else did.

Posted by: Odnon. at September 26, 2011 3:40 PM

I won't admit to being a "Tubthumping" fan, but this comment might make you think that I am. I noticed that you listed the drinks in the wrong order from the lyrics. My device for remembering the correct order (should you ever want to sing along) is that they are in reverse alphabetical order: whiskey, vodka, lager, cider. Of course, you might have been simulating the good-times drunken spirit of the song with your devil-may-care ordering.

Posted by: DarthCorleone at September 26, 2011 3:54 PM

Rachel Weisz and Naomi Watts Run About Histrionically Panting

I would watch this.

Posted by: TheOtherGreg at September 26, 2011 3:54 PM

My device for remembering the correct order (should you ever want to sing along) is that they are in reverse alphabetical order: whiskey, vodka, lager, cider.

Personally, I use the mneumonic device: "Who Verifies Lyrics of Chumbawumba?"

Posted by: branded at September 26, 2011 4:06 PM

happy birthday to Candee and a very merry unbirthday to everybody who's birthday it's not.
Did anyone notice Michelle Rodriguez has by far the biggest, meanist gun. I wonder what that means
Also joanna's pineapple sex wax...........oooooooooh
+warm feelings I can't explain+

Posted by: zechs marquise at September 26, 2011 5:15 PM

HOW THE HECK WOULD ABED NOT ALREADY KNOW ABOUT DR. WHO!?!

Because there's no such show.

Posted by: Jay at September 26, 2011 6:51 PM

According to Dan Harmon, Dr Who does exist in the Community universe. They presumably made up a knock-off for that reason...it would've been implausible for Abed to not have heard of it.

Posted by: Arran at September 27, 2011 11:11 AM

Personally, I use the mneumonic device: "Who Verifies Lyrics of Chumbawumba?"

//falls off chair laughing//

//feels vastly inferior in wit to branded, but takes some comfort in his spelling error.//

Posted by: Mrs. Julien at September 27, 2011 11:49 AM

Very usefull blog. i will follow this blog. keep up the good work.

Posted by: rc heli at September 29, 2011 9:56 PM

Very nice blog.I like this and will come back very soon.

Posted by: rc heli at October 19, 2011 9:42 PM