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What Do I Know About Those Stolen Nude Photos of Eva Mendes? Nothing! Ummm. I Was Dead At The Time! I Was On The Moon! With Steve!

By Joanna Robinson | Posted Under Pajiba Love | Comments (38)



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Hello my darling asymmetrical haircuts and skinny jeans. Listen, you’ll never win Hipster Bingo if you can’t readily identify a hipster when you see one. Here’s an exhaustive breakdown of hipster components. It’s also exhausting. So much effort goes into looking like you don’t care! (The High Definite)

James Franco, the uber hipster, has been posting some twee behind-the-scenes footage of Oscar rehearsals. This one, of Franco and Anne Hathaway rehearsing a Grease number looks like it was shot by Zapruder. I will say, Anne is ROCKING the Olivia Newton-John “Bad Sandy” look. (NY Mag)

But, you know, some people don’t even need skin tight Sandy pants to look good. My favorite non-Pajiba film reviewer, Stephanie Zacharek, once described Eva Mendes’ anatomy thusly, “[her] derrière looks as if it were plucked from God’s personal peach orchard.” That was six years ago…I’ll never forget. No wonder someone stole Eva’s nudie photos. (The Age)

Now if only some nudie photos of my Scottish boyfriend, James McAvoy, would go missing as well…only to be found in my computer. We’ll just have to settle for him talking about the new X-Men movie and the ins and outs (dirty!) of Professor X and Magneto’s bromance. BROMANCE. FASSBENDER!!! (LA Times)

And speaking of beautiful mutants, Benedict Cumberbatch (Sherlock!) and Jonny Lee Miller are currently appearing onstage in Danny Boyle’s production of “Frankenstein.” The two gents have been switching between the roles of the good doctor and monster every other night. Let’s go everyo-ooooooh, cor, blimey, it’s in London. Well, at least The National Theater (bless) will be broadcasting the production to movie theaters across the U.S. in March. You can find both the creepy advert for the show as well as a list of movie theaters carrying the broadcast by clicking this link. I know, I love you too. (Slash Film)

Enough of that Erudition crap, amirite? Did you know both Jennifer Aniston AND Justin Bieber got earth-shatteringly different haircuts this week? Of course you know. No one will shut up about it. You can see Jen’s here: (Socialite Life) and read the heart-breaking story of how Biebs lost a 80,000 followers on Twitter in the wake of his cut here: (Metro)

Far sadder than the fickle nature of 80,000 teenaged twitwits, is the early passing of one of my favorite comedians, Mitch Hedberg (I know, seamless transition, right?). Today would have been his 43rd birthday and I celebrated by reading some of ze best Mitch jokes. (Sharenator)

Ah, this handy slideshow breaks down the evolution of our favorite actor/rapper from Ice Cube to Nice Cube. Actually, my favorite actor/rapper is mos def Mos Def. Most definitely. (Film Drunk)

Okay, it’s not Science Friday, but there IS a shuttle launch today (oooh-di-lally!). You can watch live, streaming footage of it on NASA’s site. (NASA)

If I’m being honest, the opening of the shuttle launch is a little bo-oring at the moment. Here, you can pass the time until the launch by looking at Film’s 50 Greatest Opening Titles (or pass the time by, like, working at your job or whatever). This list loses cred with the Link Wench for excluding Trainspotting (Ewan! Iggy Pop! The tightest jeans of all time!). They do, however, win a lot of points by ranking Watchmen so high. I hate Snyder in general, but that opening sequence was worth the price of admission. (IFC)

You know who I love in general? Willem Dafoe. Here he is being da foe-diggity in an unusual Jim Beam ad. I love it. Especially the fashion model part. No one twirls a more indolent finger.

And I leave you, my little lumberjacks, with this awesome animated video that is both cute, visually interesting, and has a message. That’s a hard trio to pull off! It’s like the WALL-E of youtube videos!

Joanna Robinson is probably the only person in the world who didn’t love the little robotic pants off of WALL-E. She liked it, she just doesn’t want to have its trash heap babies. godtopuswept@gmail.com









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Comments

Kudos for the Eddie Izzard reference in the title.

Posted by: mswas at February 24, 2011 1:19 PM

Dafoe earns lifetime goodwill for that one.

Posted by: BarbadoSlim at February 24, 2011 1:19 PM

Mitch is missed.

Posted by: fenchurch at February 24, 2011 1:23 PM

I find the NASA TV feed entirely more entertaining when I kill the sound and turn on Mission Control on SOMA FM.

Posted by: idiosynchronic at February 24, 2011 1:31 PM

Enjoy the NASA live feed while you can. I fear it'll be a while after the last STS flight before we see another manned launch.

Posted by: The Wanderer at February 24, 2011 1:37 PM

I saw Frankenstein last week in London when it was still in previews so I can't say that what will be seen in March will be exactly the same but it was excellent. The night I went, Jonny Lee Miller was the Creature and Cumberbatch was Frankenstein. it's very much the story from The Creature's point of view and Miller was a surprise. I knew he was a great actor but not how well he would do with such a physical role. The first 15 minutes is very physical and performed entirely naked (Yes, Jonny Lee Miller naked in front of me for 15 minutes). But I digress. Great interpretation; very well-cast; interesting set design (very sparse and all of a sudden a strange steam punk nod in a story that is rooted in the power of electricity). Well worth it.

Posted by: PaddyDog at February 24, 2011 1:39 PM

Ha ha ha! I didn't think Beiber could look more like a girl.

If 80,000 people were willing to stop liking him just for a haircut let's shave him bald and pull a couple teeth. Then this will all be over.

Posted by: Paultera at February 24, 2011 1:41 PM

What happened to the links opening in a new page? Please bring that back.

Posted by: PaddyDog at February 24, 2011 1:45 PM

OK Link Wench, I need you to stop following me around on the interwebs all day. We apparently have a lot in common when it comes to wurfing.

Also, I would love to see that Frankenstein. I am totally up for a trip back to London town... Let's Go!

Posted by: Mrs Smith at February 24, 2011 1:48 PM

I call shenanigans on that header/link. You can't shout "Eva Mendes nudie pics!" and then not have Eva Mendes nudie pics!!

That's just horrible and unconstitutional and reprehensible tactics!

Posted by: Fredo at February 24, 2011 1:52 PM

They were stolen, Fredo, and, um, not by me. Swearsies.

Posted by: Joanna Robinson at February 24, 2011 1:54 PM

"You Know You Need To Know About Jennifer Aniston’s Bob"

Ummm... that's not a bob. Nor is it radically different from her previous hairstyle. But mostly, it's not a bob. AT ALL.

Posted by: Anna von Beav at February 24, 2011 1:59 PM

Now THIS? THIS is a bob.

Posted by: Anna von Beav at February 24, 2011 2:02 PM

That hyperlink is borked, AvB, but I can only dream that you were trying to link to THIS.

Posted by: coveredinbees at February 24, 2011 2:07 PM

Joanna, I'll not tell a soul whether you did or didn't steal them so long as you share them with the rest of the class.

And by rest of the class I mean me.

And by soul, I mean that sweet, sweet rump of hers.

And by I, I mean not D-Day, who wants to steal the light shining out of that booty from me. You can't have that light! You can't have it!

Posted by: Fredo at February 24, 2011 2:08 PM

Does anyone else get the sense that PaddyDog lives a glamourous life steeped in international intrigue and time to read on planes and colour coordinate her bookcases?

Not content to feel like a loser in her everyday life, Mrs. Julien made every effort to feel like a virtual one as well. She's just that thorough.

Posted by: Mrs. Julien at February 24, 2011 2:11 PM

Did I just blither self pity all over Pajiba in THE THIRD PERSON no less?

Sorry everyone! Sorry.

But then there is the narcissism of assuming anyone notices or cares what I post. I'll add that to my list of things to feel bad about myself for.

Wait.

Damn it! I'm doing it again.

I'll go away now. I think it's time for a new nom de web.

Posted by: Mrs. Julien at February 24, 2011 2:33 PM

STOP THREATENING TO LEAVE! YOU'RE TEARING ME APART!*

*I don't think I have the pompadour and circumstance** to pull that James Dean impersonation off.

** Shamelessly cribbed from Dan's excellent King's Speech article.

Posted by: coveredinbees at February 24, 2011 2:38 PM

I'm interweb-hugging you Mrs. Julien. There's nothing wrong with self-pity. You can't rely on others these days. I am a giant reservoir of self-pity on occasion. Within minutes I can convince myself that no-one's ever had it as hard as I have despite the fact that (as you point out) I have a very pretty bookshelves.

Posted by: PaddyDog at February 24, 2011 2:51 PM

"But then there is the narcissism of assuming anyone notices or cares what I post. I'll add that to my list of things to feel bad about myself for."

Oh, don't worry, I noticed, I notice and take note of everything...

Posted by: BarbadoSlim at February 24, 2011 2:53 PM

I just watched Wall-E for the first time a couple of weeks ago. I was really impressed with it...up until it left Earth. Then it was just ok. And became increasingly less plausible. And even less visually beautiful.

Posted by: Sara Tonin at February 24, 2011 3:15 PM

Oh but, Sara Tonin weren't those moments before they left earth exquisite? I'd go so far as poetry. Beautiful. Profound even. I thought it was pretty good. They even managed some transcendent moments after leaving earth, but all in all the humans just messed the whole thing up. Was that intentionally meta or just unintentionally ironic, do you suppose?

When you say increasingly less plausible do you mean the machines' triumph over the biological imperative of the pair bond and impetus to procreate ? That's what I wonder about of every time I watch it.

Posted by: Mrs. Julien 2.0 at February 24, 2011 3:31 PM

And if Slim misses anything, I was watching too.

Remember that I remember.

Posted by: Jay at February 24, 2011 3:39 PM

And Anne's so pretty that she makes me sad, and she reminds me of someone too.


There, I got a little pity to give myself too!

Posted by: Jay at February 24, 2011 3:44 PM

Man, I love Eddie Izzard...

Posted by: Katie at February 24, 2011 4:06 PM

Mrs. Julien: yes, everything was gorgeous and very touching before the story left Earth. It was quite poetic, and as a musical theatre lover, it especially touched me that it was Hello, Dolly touching that little machine's inner circuits.

But afterwards, though I still thought it was a great children's movie, it became a children's movie. The physical feats by the humans *spoiler alert for those as late to watching it as I* who have been sendentary for so long...the ability of the robots to outpace other flying objects in space...and to overcome their programmed objectives...

It was still far better than many other movies. It just became broad and cartoon-like. Not wrong, just...not at all where I thought it was going. So I was disappointed. (I try to avoid being let down by my expectations about "where a movie goes" but I also am learning to differentiate between when a movie teases me about changing directions, and when it's all on me. Like the people who want The King's Speech to be a movie about World War 2 when it's really about a man struggling against his impediment.)

Damn. I'm so long-winded today. I must be really interested in procrastinating on the writing I'm actually paid to do.

Posted by: Sara Tonin at February 24, 2011 4:10 PM

Even I would like to see Eva Mendes naked, and I don't usually care to see naked chicks (there's nothing wrong with them, just not my thing). But Eva is spectacularly well put together, so if those should happen to hit the web at some point, I may partake.

And you know, Jonny Lee Miller naked sounds swell, too.

Posted by: Slash at February 24, 2011 5:31 PM

I love you and your inner monologue and your possibly hundreds of fragmented personalities, Mrs. Julien.

Posted by: MM at February 24, 2011 5:33 PM

Magento must be the gay X-Man.

Posted by: Amy at February 24, 2011 5:47 PM

And, in the words of my black friend Megan: "White people love Mos Def."

Posted by: Amy at February 24, 2011 5:48 PM

My favorite rapper/actor: L.L. Cool J.

Neither for his skill as a rapper, nor as a actor. Simply just because.

Posted by: MM at February 24, 2011 6:02 PM

INSIDER SCOOP. My sister has seen the Frankenstein play, and on the night she saw it Cumbersnatch was playing the Creature. He comes out completely naked in the beginning. She saw him. He was naked. She saw it.

Message me for details.

Posted by: Caspar at February 24, 2011 6:33 PM

Cumbersnatch

I'll not have this disrespect.

Posted by: Jay at February 24, 2011 6:52 PM

More fucking proof that Fox-Men: Fifth Fail will be a cinematic disaster of catastrophic proportions.

Posted by: Silverman at February 24, 2011 9:22 PM

So dramatic

Posted by: Jay at February 24, 2011 11:08 PM

I can't read this page anymore. It used to be funny but now it's annoying blabbermouth bullshit.

Posted by: Rico at February 25, 2011 3:48 AM

Jennifer Aniston's haircut seems pretty mediocre compared to that guy in the excellent Timber! video.

As for Bieber, I have no idea how his hair looked before, so I couldn't possibly comment.*

*Besides which, my hair is a shambles.

Posted by: Simon at February 25, 2011 7:52 AM

I just bought my ticket to one of the broadcast productions of Frankenstein. I am going to see Cumbersnatch NAKED! And you know, the rest of the play will be awesome as well.

Posted by: Crankle at February 25, 2011 1:50 PM