Watching Simon Pegg Rip The Phantom Menace To Shreds Will Give You Nerd Tingles All The Way Down To Your Toes

By Joanna Robinson | Pajiba Love | August 22, 2013 | Comments ()


Okay, kittens, fire up your Righteous Indignation Machines, Grantland has launched a “Best Song Of The Millenium” bracket and you can go cast your vote right now. And then come back here and yell about it. Because art is objective and not at all subjective, right? Me? I’m rooting for “Oxford Comma” because, you know, grammar. You, however, might be more interested in the mighty duel between that catchy date rape anthem “Blurred Lines” and “Get Lucky.” (Grantland)

Speaking of infectious earworms, am I the only one who gets Queen stuck in their head at the mere mention of “Moet & Chandon”? Regardless, as the Fug Girls point out, this champagne event is only important in that it casts more light on the weird and twisted proprietary thing that Anna Wintour and Roger Federer have going on. I choose to believe she makes him sleep in a pretty cabinet at Vogue HQ. (GFY)

And while we’re on the subject of weird and twisted, how gorgeous is this portrait of the Lannister siblings? Check out several other beautifully rendered “Game Of Thrones” portraits from this artist. (Unreality)

In other TV bastard news, would you watch a Pete Campbell “Mad Men” spin-off? That’s what Kevin Rahm (who plays that shawl-collared, aw shucks bastard Ted Chaough) is hoping for. An L.A.-based “Adventures of Pete and Ted.” Oh I’d watch it. I’d watch the sh*t out of it. (Vulture)
ted chaough deal with it_thumb[1].gif

Fret not, pets, you won’t have to wait until next year to get your weekly dose of televisual bastards, the “Boardwalk Empire” premiere is right around the corner. In honor of the impending trip back to the Jersey Shore, Dustin has assembled a list of fun and obscure facts about the cast. WHAT DO YOU MEAN KELLY MACDONALD WON’T SHOOT NUDE SCENES ANYMORE?! That fact isn’t fun at all. (Uproxx)

Speaking of nudity, as the “50 Shades” craze continues unabated, we got some interesting casting news today. Yes, yes we did already cover this news on our site. Yes, yes I am just using this as an excuse to post my favorite lurid photo below. (LaineyGossip)

Speaking of possibly vacuous pretty boys and light choking, Robert Pattinson has said he would like to strangle the person who came up with the nickname R-Patz. Was that Dustin? I’m pretty sure it was Dustin. (Celebitchy)

In things that make you go “ugh,” Jason Segel has gone from dating Michelle Williams to dating Cameron Diaz. I know, you guys, I too had drawn “Mrs. Michelle Segel” in hearts on my Trapper Keeper. (DListed)

Cleanse your palate with this amazing long read from the “New York Times” on the history of the “SNL” audition process. Or, if you find long reads too, well, long to read, then check out Josh Kurp’s incredibly handy distillation. (WG)

Speaking of “SNL,” one of our favorite alums, Tina Fey, was burglarized over the weekend and she adorably shared video of the crime with David Letterman. Every surveillance video should have Fey narration. (BI)

Speaking of sharp and funny ladies, it’s Dorothy Parker’s birthday. She’s a hero of mine and I love this piece on her. Especially the poignantly pointed poem at the end. (Hairpin)

Hey kids, get this, four of the fifty biggest box office bombs are in theaters right now. Truly, we are having a golden summer at the cinema. (/Film)

So if you’re longing for something from your youth, then get pumped because all five monster cereals are coming back to stores this Halloween. Yes, in addition to the usual suspects, Frute Brute (discontinued in 1982) and Yummy Mummy (19920 will be back on the shelves in retro boxes. It’s like the Buzzfeed List of breakfast cereal news. (Neatorama)

In other cartoonish nostalgia, watch this video of Mark Hamill doing his famous Joker voice from “Batman The Animated Series.” Apparently the man rarely does this in public, so soak it up! (TMS)

In less pleasant Star Wars news, Simon Pegg and MTV’s Josh Horowitz went head-to-head about The Phantom Menace. This is, of course, not the first time Pegg has had a nerd meltdown on the subject.

But I wouldn’t want to leave you with that vein throbbing in your forehead, so to help mitigate the Midi-chlorians here are Steve Martin and Kermit playing the old dueling banjos. There now, is your heart all warm? I thought so.

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Comments Are Welcome, Jerks Will Be Banned

  • llp

    Now that I finally saw Pacific Rim, I have developed a mild obsession with Charlie Hunnam. His performance wasn't great. His interviews aren't that great. I am going to need repeated doses of that picture, is what I am saying. Cap Ass, oily Hunnam, bed head Ruffalo, repeat.

  • Sara_Tonin00

    btw, JRo, thanks for giving Dorothy Parker some love. I don't think about her often enough. And Ballade at Thirty-Five actually made me verklempt. I didn't know she had that in her.

  • Mrs. Julien

    I always feel like Dorothy Parker's work is never equal to the sum of its parts. I feel the same way about Carrie Fisher. The ride is always fun though.

  • Voodoo

    Does anyone have a link to the Pegg interview that will work in Canada?

    I swear, the anger induced by "This Video is Not Available in Your Country" is only surpassed by the blinding, Hulk level, rage caused by "This Video is Not Available on This Device".

  • llp

    If only I had more up votes to give...

  • Az

    Mowee Chambin!
    <iframe src="http://www.nbc.com/assets/vide..." width="560" height="315" frameborder="0"></iframe>

  • DominaNefret

    Someone is a fan of Tangled and Brave.

  • Dr. Merkwurdigliebe

    Pegg is one to talk. Both of his "Star Drek" movies were awful.

  • ScrimmySCrim

    If you don't like the song, that's fine, BUT QUIT CALLING IT A DATE RAPE ANTHEM.

  • firedmyass

    It's by Robin Thicke. The term is valid.

  • Margrete

    I have a deep and unnatural love of Josh Horowitz and his After Hours videos. And that Simon Pegg video is seriously old, but still hilarious.

  • Ferrous Bueller

    Dorothy Parker wrote the very best work excuse of all time to explain why she hadn't completed some assigned task:

    "I'm too f*cking busy - or vice versa"

  • I would be stoked about the monster cereals if they hadn't changed the recipe. The cereal part of Count Chocula isn't the same as the original. And that makes me sad. (I think even the marshmallows are different, but the cereal was so wrong.)

  • RilesSD

    What I got from the Boardwalk slideshow is that apparently Annie Parisse and Aleksa Palladino are different people??? I thought I was watching Angela Darmody on The Following that whole time.

  • alwaysanswerb

    It's rather eerie how every single song, save about 3, that I voted for was currently losing, even when I was sure I was going with the grain.

  • Bert_McGurt

    Go vote for The White Stripes! I think that's the only one I picked that was winning.

  • jon29

    I quit when Nelly was beating Radiohead. This must be what getting punk'd feels like.

  • Sara_Tonin00

    I loves me some Simon Pegg, but that header pic is icking me out.

  • Bert_McGurt

    Would it make it better if I told you that was Nick Frost's foot?

  • emmalita

    I love a big man with delicately boned ankles.

  • Captain_Tuttle

    Yeah, didn't anyone tell him that smoking's bad for you?

  • lowercase_ryan

    Please stop referring to "Blurred Lines" as a date rape anthem. For many, many reasons, including that it is not a date rape anthem.

  • TraceAndM

    An article in your defense:


  • alwaysanswerb

    It is confusing though. How are we to know what he really means? The song kind of gives off mixed signals. If he didn't want people to be so mad about it, he probably should have had a more appropriate music video. And a lot of his older songs are about sex, too, so we know it's on his mind. He probably did mean the song a certain way, but just changed his mind when it got bad press.

  • DominaNefret

    So, my response is to both you and @lowercase_ryan:disqus (and @Sara_Tonin00:disqus, for that matter.)

    As a female who enjoys sex, and has been labeled a "bad girl", even by progressive friends because of that, I completely agree with Ryan. I don't think it is a date-rape anthem, I don't think that fact is confusing, and I don't think that men singing songs about women wanting sex implies that they are advocating rape. I don't even think that the music video is nearly as inappropriate as people are making it out to be (though I know that will be a very controversial opinion).

    If you look at the full lyrics to the song, he is talking about a woman who really enjoys sex, who likes having fun, who seems to enjoy partying, and apparently used to date a man who was trying to "domesticate" her; who was trying to show that he was the boss and that she should quell her desires and do what he wanted her to. The narrator of the song is saying that he sees that she wants him, that she enjoys sex, and telling her that she can do whatever she wants to him. There is nothing implying force in the song.

    I think that where people get confused is by the use of "you're a good girl"; even today, "good girls" are supposed to be sweet and innocent and not blatantly enjoy sex, while "bad girls" are the ones who will outwardly display their sexuality and approach you letting you know what they want. He has subverted that. He is talking about a girl who enjoys sex, is open about what she wants, and is still a good girl. The "blurred line" is the line between gender roles and the line between good girl and bad girl. It isn't a line he is worried about crossing.

  • alwaysanswerb

    Though I'm glad my comment prompted you to write yours, which is interesting indeed, I was being completely facetious. See my response to Sara_Tonin.

  • DominaNefret

    Heh. I read the entire comment thread and somehow totally missed that.
    I've been wanting to write out my thoughts on the song since people started calling it date-rapey all over the place anyway. Might as well do it here.

  • Guest

    Poe's Law: 1
    alwaysanswerb: 0

  • alwaysanswerb

    Poe's Law: 1
    alwaysanswerb: 0

  • Sara_Tonin00

    interesting take on the lyrics. I kinda read them as a woman at the club who clearly wants to have sex with the singer, but is there with someone else - someone he doesn't think is right for her - and because she's a good girl she's not going to sleep with him. But she's still coming on really hard.

  • Sara_Tonin00

    Of course the song is about sex. But that doesn't make it date-rapey.

  • alwaysanswerb

    I thought I was being a bit heavy-handed, but I guess not: it was meant to be droll and mock the commentary that usually occurs around the topic of gray/date rape.

  • Sara_Tonin00

    hahaha. I coulda bought the sarcasm, minus your last line. We still need that sarcasm font...

  • lowercase_ryan

    I guess I disagree, I don't find it confusing but to each their own.

  • alwaysanswerb

    My attempt to be ironic apparently backfired. See my response to Sara_Tonin.

  • lowercase_ryan

    No worries. A) I suck at irony B) This is all Joanna's fault anyways.

  • JoannaRobinson

    As ever, brother.

  • Mrs. Julien

    I heard that in Desmond's voice.

  • Sara_Tonin00

    I also get confused about people being confused by this song. I find the rap on the bridge crass, but none of this says non-consent to me.

  • Patty O'Green

    Fun fact: I have a friend whose last name is Frankenberry. I will use any opportunity to point that out, because it is bonkerous.

  • emmalita

    I will never get tired of watching smart people rip the shit out of Phantom Menace. That movie crapped all over my childhood. That movie made me understand the Buddhist principle of non attachment.

  • IngridToday

    I suggest going to redlettermedia.com, click on Mr. Plinkett, click on star wars. They go through every single prequel and why they're offer. it's all kinds of amazing.

  • emmalita

    Thanks, I will.

  • WhoDeyKY

    So Ryan Reynolds was involved in 2 of the 4 biggest box office flops....

  • Snath

    That GoT artist is fucking talented. The one with Jon and Ghost and the ravens is HAMAZING.

  • sjfromsj

    I am going to stress over that song bracket for a good portion of the day. Roughly half of my choices were made having not known the song and picking it purely to spite its competitor. I might be too invested.

  • Mrs. Julien

    Speaking of possibly vacuous pretty boys and light choking

    Oh man, if I had a nickel...

  • firedmyass

    I thought the previously agreed upon amount was $5. Are you having a sale?

  • Mrs. Julien

    That's just for "ice cream".

  • DAMN, Charlie Hunnam. Why can't he look that good on the show? Granted, I'm only at the start of season 2, but that dorky hairstyle they give him on it just takes away so much of the sexy. I mean, look at that photo! DAMN.

    I'm also a little surprised that The 13th Warrior is the #3 Box Office Bomb. That was a good movie! Not genius or anything, but it's fun and re-watchable as hell. But I guess it's more of an at-home cable movie, and of course, BO money doesn't always mean quality. I just had no idea it had been that much of a failure in theaters.

  • kushiro -

    You are in for so much nostril flaring and bro-walking.

  • Eva

    Simon Pegg 4EVR! Love the laugh at 1:00

  • Maguita NYC

    The dueling banjos with Kermit and Steve Martin was all kinds of awesomness.

    You know what I'd like to see next?
    Dueling banjos between Miss Piggy and a very naked and high Matthew McConaughey.

  • NateMan

    I bought the first 3 Muppet Show DVD sets a while back (Note to whoever owns the rights to these: HURRY UP AND RELEASE THE REST!) and watching Steve Martin essentially audition for the show on his episode was awesome. And damn can that guy play.

  • Maguita NYC

    Wait!!! Muppets are some type of dolls... Oui?

  • NateMan

    You hush up your dirty mouth! The Muppets are NOT puppets, nor dolls. That's a filthy lie spread only by the bigoted. The politically correct term is People of Felt.

    I take the Muppets very seriously.

  • Maguita NYC

    You shut your ignat mouth mister! The Muppets are nothing but marionnettes with souls of poupées from gloried past. It is not because one has a hand up its ass, that its head should follow suit.

  • NateMan

    You're nothing more than a closeminded feltophobe, and should really be ashamed of your cultural anemia in this modern age of tolerance and acceptance. Would you really act so callous if your own child should come to you and admit their intrinsic fabric nature? I hope not, good woman. I hope not.

  • Maguita NYC

    Sir!!! This hyperbolic pediophobia of yours have reached absurd heights.

    How dare you use my child as a weapon in validating your despicable and unreasonable love for patsy swine? If it weren't for my hoplophobic nature, I would have blasted your neurotic multi-stitched socks to smithereens. Your skewered and perverted views in facilitating your obvious priapic nature are the reason this country is headed towards a dystopian near future.

    Enough with your fraudulent indoctrination and false outrage, your squalid agenda is quite obvious and griming through.

    Also, this!!!!

  • Not to interrupt this marvelous war o' wits, but GAAAHHHH!!!!! Burn it with fire!!!!

  • Bert_McGurt

    Patsy Swine? Isn't that when Miss Piggy goes country?

  • NateMan

    And your pediophilia alongside the your blantant textophobic nature is what keeps us locked into the past. What do you think this is, the 1950s? We're all squishy on the inside, regardless of whether we're made of guts or plush. You, madame, are the reason It's Not Easy Being Green, and you should be ashamed. Muppets don't choose their direction in life; they are the way they are from the moment they're stitched together, the same as the rest of us. Your Mary Shelley-like fears of the differently alive are a product of your small town, red state outlook. Your instinctual revulsion bears a close similarity to those who have, in the past, lynched Muppets by their own guidelines and burned trademarked merchandise on their lawns.

    Your fear tactics will not work on us any more. Most Muppets may not have functional tongues, but they and their supporters will remain silent no longer. You will not push them from their position as New York City Ambassadors. They will not return quietly to the quilting room. They are here to stay. Go back to Chik-fil-A, gorge on the fried chicken of your paltry soul and let the rest of us go about our lives the way the Gods intended; with dance numbers, absurd puns, and slapstick.

    We're here, we're anthropomorphic, get used to it.

  • emmalita

    I mourn EE's decision to take a vacation this week, but celebrate the elaborate usage of multisyllabic words and faux-rage.

  • Mrs. Julien

    This is eligible for next week's EE. Inclusion runs Thursday to Wednesday.

  • emmalita


  • Maguita NYC

    Woohoo! We are in consideration. Emmalita's obvious pull with her baked savoir has gotten us an arched brow from the Mrs. J. :)

  • emmalita

    What pull? I have pull? This is news to me? What do I get with my pull?

  • Maguita NYC

    Your genius at baked goods wifey! also, buttercream cupcakes. (notice how I left the ing and my)

  • NateMan

    Aw, that's right. I forgot there was no EE this week. And I was working so hard to get the nod. Bastards.

  • emmalita

    Are you saying I can't pay you in laughter? You want accolades from the overlords as well?

  • NateMan

    I always want accolades; my ego is boundless. But your laughter, dear lady, is more than enough. Particularly when added to the opportunity to skewer, nay, hoist I say, that xenophobic Maguita NYC on her own petard. Not mine, obviously; my wife would consider that infidelity.

    Hah... Maguita NYC. I bet that's not even her real name.

  • Maguita NYC

    I cannot believe you dare compare my abhorrence for your borderline zoophilic tendencies to xenophobia of all things!!! Shame on you and your senseless blind hatred of basic common decency.

    Nothing worse than a bald-headed baboon bloviating punctiliously over Chick-a-f*ckin'-Filet. Who eats that shit. Who dares spend money on that contemptible decay, that slaps over-bleached bread over dishonest attempt at protein and call it "food"! And the way you speak of muppets' tongues, it is disturbing. Does your degenerate nature know no bounds? Have you no shame in your rationalization of the abnormal?

    No matter. Muppets belong in the closet, and should stay in it until opening curtain. Your ignominious justifications for your unnatural tendencies will not shame me into becoming a misandrist. YOU are not the norm, you are below average for thinking your outright misogyny would successfully belittle in any way my rights to freedom, voting, and f*ck-you even abortion; You would not shame me into silence for speaking against what is wrong!

    And just so you know, before you crucify me for my Kenyan heritage, that birth certificate presented to Ms. Emmalita was in long form. Good day and adieu sir.

  • NateMan

    'Basic common decency.' The catchphrase of the censurally-aligned. So devoted to the past their blinders make them incapable of seeing the advancements we've made. Your culture of conformity and closure holds no sway over us. You are a relic, a dinosaur, a giganotosaurus stomping through the jungles of yesteryear, aflame with your righteous indignation, ignoring the incoming meteorite of public opinion and progress.

    Fie, I say, fie on you and your goblinesque ilk. We've heard enough out of you. It's time for new voices, a new generation. One unafraid to let their freak flag fly, with their eloquent Swedishese poets and pacific musicians playing the music of tomorrow. So quickly you forget the improvements our People of Felt brethren have brought the world, such as the gorilla detector and making-things-floppy spray. The beauty of their modern art, such as eating cars set to classical music. But enough rationalization. Some people have minds with the same absorption ability and density of ball bearings. I have no more time to waste on you, for my work day is done and I have actual, important things to do.

    But I will leave you with one, final thought. Your vehemence, your surety in righteousness, your venal hatred of all things Felt brings to mind one thing and one thing only. 'The lady doth protest too much, methinks', Gertrude said, and I suspect she was right.

    What Muppetry lies in your own past? What 'unnatural' feltic acts have you given in to? How many times have you crouched in the bathroom stall while your soft-shod foot tapped out in the nearly silent Morse code in which your closeted kind beg for the reassurance of an anthropomorphic swine's touch? How far must you go to look for sin in others while hiding your secret shame, your fabric-draped dreams?

    We know the truth.

  • Maguita NYC

    Silent tears tapped my pillow for the loss of his adorkableness. You never forget your first...

  • emmalita

    It is. She emailed me a copy of her birth certificate, as I require of all my internet friends. It was so cute too. It was written in crayon.

  • foolsage

    Steve Martin takes his banjo playing VERY SERIOUSLY. Dude up and created the "Steve Martin Prize for Excellence in Banjo and Bluegrass", after years of touring in little-known spots like The Grand Ole Opry, Carnegie Hall, and the Royal Festival Hall. He even won a grammy for best Bluegrass album.

  • Maguita NYC

    OMG you are right! I remember hearing his name at the Grammys and thought wth? Turns out, it is more than a passe-temps but a true passion of his.

  • Maguita NYC

    The man is absolutely the best! I had stopped watching The Muppets because of Miss Piggy's despicable abuse of that cutie Kermit, but Steve Martin keeps pulling me back in.


  • anikitty

    Dueling bongos?

  • JoannaRobinson

    *dueling bongos

  • Patty O'Green

    *dueling bongs

  • foolsage

    It wasn't a duel, so much as a minor misunderstanding over who had the lighter (it had been kicked under the couch).

  • emmalita

    I believe both were involved.

  • Bert_McGurt

    Oh hell, it might have even been a bongo bong. Stoners be creative, y'know.

  • Maguita NYC

    I think one highly incited public nudity. I would have loved to be one of those cops paying a call to his home.

  • emmalita

    Keep in mind this happened in my hometown, Austin, TX, well known for it's hippies, hipsters, pot-smokers and nudists of all types. So not really that unusual for the APD.

  • Not an unusual call providing they can get away from the latest protest of them shooting someone, that is...

  • emmalita

    I didn't claim there weren't assholes in the APD, just that stoned naked bongo playing is not unusual to them. To the best of my knowledge, APD is not cool, just jaded.

  • I hear ya, although I do have a couple of friends in APD that are closer to the cool spectrum. But then, they're both ladies who have unusual aspects to their personal life, so maybe they're more attuned to the weird than most cops in town.

  • emmalita

    Few large police departments are cool, but I'm glad to know there are some good ones in APD.

  • Maguita NYC

    Poor Austin have never been more alone than lately in that sea of Texan conservatism. Hope they keep it weird no matter what.

    Still would have loved to be one of the officers. For the view, and the public service of course!

  • Maguita NYC

    He was caught naked playing the bongos?


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