Vulture Struggles To Define The Most "Valuable" Hollywood Star, Neglects To Include A Bangable Category
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Vulture Struggles To Define The Most "Valuable" Hollywood Star, Forgets To Include A Bangable Category

By Joanna Robinson | Pajiba Love | July 23, 2012 | Comments ()


Vulture has come up with a pretty nifty interactive list of Hollywood's 100 Most "Valuable" Stars. The default is their ranking, but, if it butters your toast, you can fiddle with the settings to create your own list based on your personal values and priorities. Unfortunately, there's no bangable category so, no matter how much I fiddled, I couldn't make it match the Pajiba Ten. (Vulture)

I had no idea Seattle had its own Super Villain (with the bone-chilling name "Rex Velvet"). Well 75 cool points to you, Seattle, and 250 points to Rex himself who led one kid on a merry chase as part of the Make-A-Wish foundation. (Nerd Approved)

You know that character you despise on that AMC show about zombies? No not that one, the other one. Yeah, her. Well it turns out even the actress thinks the character should die. (WG)

Speaking of AMC shows, enjoy this "Breaking Bad"-inspired rock candy. That is, if you don't care about keeping your teeth, etc. (Laughing Squid)

Usually I'm not a fan of toilet humor, but I do agree that this is simply the best bathroom sign of all time. Use it on your lazy kids or spouses. (Buzzfeed)

If you don't want to read about an artificial jellyfish that swims with the assistance of rat cardiac muscles, then don't click this link. This is how the world ends, friends, not with a bang but a squishy. (Telegraph)

Speaking of artificial life, I know there are "Battlestar Galactica" fans aplenty among you. Have you ever wanted to snuggle a Viper? Of course you have, you saucy minxes. Well today's your lucky day. (QMX)

I don't mean to sound snobby at all, quite the contrary, but I think it's safe to say that most (not all...not you) folks who watch a film attribute the "look" of it to the director and neglect the considerable contributions of the cinematographer. This fantastic piece on the retirement of Christopher Nolan's collaborator Wally Pfister sets that record straight. (Atlantic)

Whether or not you were satisfied by the myriad of Gotham villains in The Dark Knight Rises, here's an extensive chart that ought to tickle your fancy. (Pop Chart Lab)
Click to embiggen.

Okay, friends, this is a troubling link. If you love Ralph Fiennes with all the fire in your crotch, I urge you to scroll down the page. If you don't, or if you think your stalwart crotch love can survive the following images, then click away. The man can look however he wants, he's still a fantastic performer. I just want you to brace yourself. (Celebitchy)

Finally, if you're having a hard, disappointing or distressing day, I hope these fantastic images of fire-breathing will distract and soothe you. Now imagine the source of your frustration being enveloped in those flames. There, that's better, ain't it?

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Comments Are Welcome, Bigots and Trolls Are Not

  • Ashley

    I've actually heard the phrase "Magic Poop Stealing Water Chair" through a friend a few months ago... wonder if he saw the sign or made it.

  • Speaking of super villains - Last night, before going to sleep, my beloved son called me into his room to tell me his number one biggest problem in the world is, “Your idiotic desire to yell at me.” He knew it was not good before he started, but I could tell he had lovingly crafted the sentence and was determined to use it. There was a “sorry, Mum” not a full moment after he was done. Still, he repeated it and added that my yelling was like Galactus to his ears and Dr. Doom to his brain. I told him “I’ll keep that in mind,” and left the room.

  • Jezzer

    You should have yelled at him. :D

  • brutalyouth

    joanna/dustin: have you seen this? if not, thought it would make a good love link. sometimes americans don't suck. this is one of them. damn near teared up what with all the updates and medals returned. if this is old news, disregard and burn after reading.

  • Archie Leach

    That Vulture list seems off.

    I loathe all things twilight trash but princebobbypattinson seems low on that list and

    Shia LaBeouf and Ben Stiller seems too high on the list.

    List doesn't add up.

  • Slash

    RE Fiennes: Most dudes would not look very doable with that particular hair (note to men: the more the hairline recedes, the shorter the hair should be, see Bruce Willis) or beard. Shave off the hair and beard and presto! Doable again.

  • Kate at June

    Most people don't think about cinematography, editing, etc unless they are involved in filmmaking or big film fans. Just like it shocks the hell out of people to learn that the important players in a theatrical production are not the actors.

    I wrote a paper in college about the cinematographer of Five Easy Pieces and the brilliant work he did on the film, for which he had received numerous awards. It was especially apt as the gentleman had just passed away. My professor--of my FILM class--gave me a C on the paper asking why I attributed the camera work to the cinematographer and not the director. FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU

  • Three_nineteen

    With that hair, Fiennes kinda looks like William Hurt. So, yeah, still doable.

  • Bert_McGurt

    That's exactly what I thought! Although I've never had an affinity for either Fiennes or Hurt. But the resemblance is certainly there.

  • L.O.V.E.

    1960's: Pixy Stix

    1970's: Cigarette Gum

    1980's: Big League Chew

    2000's: Crystal Meth Candy.

    2020: Liquified candy in a hyperdermic needle.

    Ah, to be a kid again.

  • fpkillkill

    I think Ralph would rock the bald look. Just make peace with the follicles and accept that they don't want to be in this relationship anymore, and set them free. Add in the 90s stubble and he'd look pretty fine.

    As it is now, he just looks like a handsomer version of Clint Howard.

  • Drake

    That is VERY low bar to cross.

  • celery

    That list is ridiculous. Jaden Smith is ranked way above Charlize Theron...I don't understand.

  • celery

    Also, some of those subtitles are pretty hilarious.

    "Gwyneth Paltrow: The Enviable One"
    "Keanu Reeves: The Blissed-Out Action Star"
    "Russell Crowe: The Sensitive Brawler"

    And it goes on.

  • lowercase_ryan

    that's a disproportionate number of villains imo. Is anyone in Gotham not a villain?

  • Rocabarra

    Oh Ralph Fiennes... I still see your beautiful eyes, but... I just... hair growth and time have been so unkind to you.

  • bibliophile

    Speaking of the Pajiba 10, has it posted this year and I missed it during my move? Or are we still waiting?

  • Rocabarra

    I was wondering the same.

  • So that is what I'd look like if I let my hair grow out and grew a really bad, overly-long goatee. Good to

  • Kirstini

    Keanu Reeves, Shia LeBouf, Blake Lively, Kate Beckinsale, Katherine Heigel, Jennifer Garner all made the list. Michelle Williams did not. I don't think I understand the list.

  • Kirstini

    I'm cutting this comment, as it was me going full-throttle in defence of an actor I'm never going to meet's right to appear on a list that will not touch my life in any way.

  • Samantha Klein

    Hey, four out of my (actual) Top Five are on that list. I'm a little surprised they didn't find room for Javier Bardem, but still, guess I know how to pick 'em, eh?

  • Forbiddendonut

    /Looks at the Ralph Fiennes photos.

    Huh. So that is what I'd look like if I let my hair grow out and grew a really bad, overly-long goatee. Good to know.

  • Puddin

    Are you saying that you look like a well coiffed, smooth faced Ralph Fiennes? Pics, please. Possibly of you brooding and/or carrying a beautiful woman through the desert weeping. We will also accept pics of you in a Nazi uniform.

  • Samantha Klein

    Ohh, that Nazi uniform. So many conflicted feelings...

  • mona_sterling

    Oh, man...Ralph was pure damn evil in that Nazi uniform, but such a beautiful specimen of the master Aryan race. So much conflict.

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