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"Vanity Fair" Chose That Girl Who Looks Good Eating A Burger To Commemorate Their 100th Birthday

By Joanna Robinson | Pajiba Love | September 3, 2013 | Comments ()


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In case you missed it last night, ma petite Francophiles, Comedy Central aired the first interesting Celebrity Roast in years. James Franco was on the spit and a whole host of comedians (including MC Seth Rogen, Sarah Silverman, Nick Kroll, etc.) were bringing the singeing heat. You can see a round-up of the best moments here… (Uproxx)

…but I wanted to include my favorite bit from Aziz Ansari. Seriously, racists, suck it.

Move over Sadness Bowls, KFC is now selling deep fried soupsicles or, as I prefer to call them, Porridge Nuggets. Tantalizing, no? (Fast Company)

Speaking of drool-inducing, check out this gallery of Thor concept art. Now imagine Chris Hemsworth wearing, what, what are these? Spangly, fish scale leggings?
(Unreality)
Thor-Concept-Art-14.jpg

And while we’re on the subject of “what, what, WHAT are you wearing?” Cate Blanchett is sporting a…is it a tree skirt? Amazing. (GFY)

“American Idol” announces their new panel of judges and, trust me, it’s going to make your mom VERY happy. (Vulture)

In other televisual news, the Season 3 premiere of “Homeland” has been leaked online. OUTRAGEOUS. I DON’T KNOW ANYONE WHO WOULD SEEK THAT OUT. (The Independent)

Now if they were to leak the “Breaking Bad” series finale, well, that might be a different story. Speaking of which Dustin uncovered an amazing theory on the meaning of finale title. Now I’ll be crushed if Jesse, Walt and Hank don’t form a 70s jazz-rock group. (WG)

And while we’re on the subject of good ol’ Cue Ball Cranston, Bryan has officially shot down the Lex Luthor casting rumors. My fingers are crossed that he’s just being coy. ((Nerd Approved)

And (*classily blaring my own horn*), if you haven’t had a chance to listen to the interview Dave Chen and I did with “Breaking Bad” composer Dave Porter, I really hope you do. It’s downright fascinating. (Not because of us, because of Porter.) Chock full of some great music, too. (/Film)

Speaking of great music, 90s Spitfire Goddess, Fiona Apple, stormed off-stage at a recent concert after trying to silence the audience with…a bell? Does anyone else have tickets for her Fall Tour? It looks to be amazing and, god willing, full of more bell ringing tantrums. And because I think it’s brilliant, here’s P.T. Anderson’s video for her single “Hot Knife.”

But if you prefer your musical news a bit more contemporary, here are 10 new albums you need to hear in September including something from Goldfrapp, NiN and Mazzy Star. (Flavorwire)

“The Washington Post,” in its infinite wisdom, has decided to question whether or not statutory rape is all that bad. YUP, YOU HEARD ME. Okay, I’m unwilling to give them the page hits they so desperately crave with that disgusting click-bait headline, so here’s a recap. (Twitchy)

I blame the Post’s new owner, Amazon’s Jeff Bezos. However, I will admit that the new Kindle Matchbook program is pretty swanky. (CB)

Okay, so I am absolutely a fan of Kate Upton. She is the bombiest of shells and looks damn fine eating a burger. But she doesn’t exactly scream “icon” to me. She does, however, look pretty amazing here. (Celebitchy)
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And speaking of bombshells, here is a sneak peak of Natalie Dormer aka Margaery Tyrell on the set of Season 4 of “Game Of Thrones.” Is it wrong that I’m more excited by the photos of the massive sets and, oh I dunno, THE TRIAL BY COMBAT LOCATION? (Kuedon)
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And, finally, my favorite bit of entertainment journalism today, here’s a round-up of the 10 Essential Films for any “Breaking Bad” fan. You thought I was done talking about “Breaking Bad?” HA! There are several classics on here. Get thee to a Blockbuster*, go. (WG)

*Do they still have those?



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Comments Are Welcome, Jerks Will Be Banned


  • trixie

    Patty O'Green, I'm both sickend and glad I read that piece. It said what I have been trying to say about this particular case since I first read about it.

  • At first I thought it was Amber Heard and I got excited. Then I realised it was that chick who looks like Amber Heard melted
    - casual misogyny over -

  • Long_Pig_Tailor

    I don't really understand my attraction to Natalie Dormer. It's not that she isn't pretty, because obviously she's incredibly lovely, but I have, you know, urges for her that aren't quite proportional to how attractive I find her in a rational sense. I think it's something with her eyes. They... do things.

    /TMI.

  • googergieger

    Seriously think that Aziz clip was funny and that Franco should be a thing, let alone roast worthy?

  • St

    I was sure it was Johnny Depp’s girlfriend on that photo. I just can’t remember face of Amber Heard. It’s funny how she dreams to become movie star with that forgettable face. She is pretty but has nothing to be memorable for viewers.

  • I always thought Fiona Apple was hot but she also kind of gives the impression that she might stab me if I pissed her off. I mean, she'd be genuinely sorry afterwards, but that wouldn't change the fact that she stabbed me.

  • Patty O'Green

    Regarding the issue of underage consent: this blog shows a different and raw perspective. Anyone who is unsure about where they stand on age of consent, please read this for an abrasively vulnerable account:

    http://scandal-whipped.tumblr....

  • I don't know. My mom's dream American Idol panel would be made up of Robert Redford, Julie Andrews and Tito Puente.

  • BuffyloGal

    No Barry Manilow?

  • NateMan

    Aziz nailed it. I love his willingness to call people on the bullshit gay jokes in particular. But then, I heard a freshman girl using 'that's so gay' as an insult on campus today, and I had to wonder exactly when the hell we'd traveled back in time to when that was still cool.

  • googergieger

    I'm gay, and you're a fucking idiot.

  • NateMan

    Uh... Kay. Not sure what I said to warrant that kind of bitchiness, but whatever you say, dude.

  • googergieger

    Not having a sense of humor and being patronizing(though to be fair is it, if you don't know you are doing it?) for starters?

  • bbmcrae

    And yet, unwarranted hostility = sense of humor? Me am confused.

  • googergieger

    "I love his willingness to call people on the bullshit gay jokes in
    particular. But then, I heard a freshman girl using 'that's so gay' as
    an insult on campus today, and I had to wonder exactly when the hell
    we'd traveled back in time to when that was still cool."

    Shit can be gay. Fucking fanny packs are gay. What bullshit gay jokes though? You mean the Seinfeld episode where if you are single, neat, and clean people think you are gay and that is so bullshit and way to go Aziz? Anyone can break down any comedy to the point where there is no funny in it. You call those people unfunny waste of space douchebags. Unfortunately most people(youth and the trendtards mostly) seem to believe that is funny and is their sense of humor.

    Some gay jokes, no matter how bullshit they are, are funny. As are every other kind of joke. Some are funny. Some aren't, and you enjoy the bomb. You don't fucking analyze it. Because then it isn't jokes/comedy. It's douche.

  • NateMan

    Sorry... Not finding 'That's so gay' funny = lacking a sense of humor? They weren't discussing a Joan Rivers biopic. She was just a douche.

  • It is sad that people are STILL perpetuating the idea that "manly" =/= intelligent or cultured.

    It is weird that we have had two massively popular memes based on manly ideals (Most Interesting Man In The World and The Man Your Man Can Smell Like), both of whom are portrayed as fairly cultured and comfortable in their manliness, and yet we still gotta have jokes about guys only being straight if they are stupid.

    Shouldn't us heteros be more offended by this?

  • maureenc

    There are some things that should stay in the 90s.

  • DominaNefret

    I am going to post the link to the Washington Post article.
    http://articles.washingtonpost...

    I have very close family friends who started dating when she was a 16 year old High School junior and he was her 24 year old math teacher. They kept their relationship a secret for the two years until she graduated, and got married when she turned 18. She went to college, they travelled around the world and had fun together; waiting 6 years to have their first kid. They are now 58 and 66, have five kids, and have been happily married for forty years. If they had gotten caught, would they have benefited from him automatically being arrested and tried for rape? The average age that teens lose their virginity in the United States is in the 16/17 year old range and an 8 year gap is far from unusual.

    The author isn't saying that all student/teacher relationships should be decriminalized; her point is that sex and relationships are complicated and just like in any other situation we shouldn't be treating them all the same way. Statutory Rape laws were set up to protect children, they were created with the best of intentions, but they have been used and abused over and over again. The recent case in Florida where the parents of a 15 year old girl had her girlfriend arrested for statutory rape as soon as she turned 18 because they believed she had forced their daughter into a lesbian relationship is a good example.

    There are inherent power issues when it comes to student/teacher relationships

  • DominaNefret

    disqus keeps posting my posts before I have actually finished typing them. I am giving up for now. I will finish writing out my thoughts later.

  • Genevieve Burgess

    The fact that it worked out really well that one time for those specific people doesn't mean that there aren't good reasons to place restrictions on relationships between adults and minors more than four years apart in age. There are a lot of older people out there looking to date younger people who do not have their best interests in mind. In the specific example the Post article refers to, a teacher in his 40s had a sexual relationship with a 14 year old student who then killed herself before his trial. He was sentenced to a month in prison. That man did not love that girl, he did not have her best interests at heart, and he very likely manipulated his position of authority and her naivete to his advantage.

  • BuffyloGal

    I read this as a spoiler for "Pretty Little Liars". Same diff.

  • DominaNefret

    Disqus submitted my post before I was finished writing it. BECAUSE IT HATES ME AND WANTS ME TO COME OFF AS DUMB/WHATEVER.
    Yeah, I totally agree with you, and was trying to write out pretty much everything that you said along with my original post, but disqus hates me.
    Summary that hopefully disqus won't eat: That douche was gross and needed to get a longer sentence, but not every situation is the same and thus they should be looked at on an individual basis, and the other has some really good points and shouldn't be written off just because the title of the article makes you think "ick".

  • JJ

    Of course not every situation is the same, but in matters like this, society has to make firm laws/rules like "don't have sex with minors" because we can't see 44 years into the future and know that they'll have a healthy, consensual relationship. That is around the age that requires the most patience but is supplied with the least of it. Wait on it.

  • Genevieve Burgess

    The problem is that there are times when a teenager will tell you that a sexual relationship with an adult is what they want and that they love their partner, even though it's clear the situation is abusive or coercive, Hence, "grooming" and other horrific mind tricks used to make victims feel like the relationship is what they want. (I shudder thinking of all the grown men who told me how "you seem so mature for your age" when I was a young teen.)

    I do think things should be handled on a case by case basis, but I'm always going to be suspicious of adults who start relationships with people below the age of 18 and I think the law should be too.

  • DominaNefret

    And I agree. I actually couldn't finish the movie "Lifeguard" recently because of the relationship that Kristin Bell's character started with a 16 year old boy; it squicked me out too much.
    I just prefer the suggestion the author made, of immediately firing the teacher and then figuring out where to go from there on a case-by-case basis; whether or not that means arresting them, requiring mandatory counseling, or whatever else is deemed appropriate. I think she made very valid points about how stressful the whole process can be on girls; trials, all of the public attention that comes with them, bullying that may come about as a result.

  • DominaNefret

    *author

  • Ann

    Just because I know everybody knows it already: it's mes petits F..

  • BuffyloGal

    Bien sur!

  • Joe

    Kate Upton makes me feel like my pants don't fit right.

  • yy_future

    Christ on a cracker. Do not read the comments on that Twitchy article about the Washington Post if you value your sanity.

  • Berry

    Thank you for the heads up. On some days I would be all "ooh, mankind reaches new lows, must see" but considering the subject matter... Pass.

  • BendinIntheWind

    As a straight woman, I know I'm not necessarily the target audience, but I legitimately don't understand all the accolades being thrown at Kate Upton. She is beautiful, but I think she's a *terrible* model. Her face in that photo looks like she smells something odd while trying to do long division in her head. Mouth-breathing blank-staring, not at ALL alluring.

  • I do not get Kate Upton as a thing...

  • Sara_Tonin00

    Yeah, she looks very attractive, but incredibly vapid right around the beautiful blue eyes and red lips area of her face. Pose is also pretty awkward.

    (note to Vanity Fair: "pin-up" has already peaked as a trend. It is neither throw-backy enough or au courant enough)

  • BendinIntheWind

    The reliance on "pinup" styling triggers the same eye-rolling reflex as whenever I hear a designer on Project Runway ask the hair and makeup people to make the model look "like Old Hollywood, but with a twist". Barf.

  • Tinkerville

    If that were a rule in a Project Runway drinking game we'd all die of alcohol poisoning.

  • BWeaves

    Kate Upton looks good, but why did they put here in a 32B top? The damn thing doesn't fit. She needs at least a 36 DD.

  • guest

    You need a cupcake, I think.

  • Sara_Tonin00

    I think. you know. the answer to that question.

  • BWeaves

    Cause they're cheap asses who just got free clothes from the designer, and they're all a size 2, and she's a size 8 or 10. If they knew they were picking here, they could have requested a fitting in advance. It makes the designer look bad, like he (or she doesn't know how to make clothes fit.

  • bbmcrae

    Um. Did you just land on Earth or something?

  • guest

    Maybe two cupcakes, then.

  • Sara_Tonin00

    Oh, no. I think the answer is "boobs."

  • AgLexington

    the answer is always boobs.

  • AgLexington

    Cate Blanchett and Tilda Swinton can wear whatever they want whenever want and look fierce. Because Cate and The Tild. End of story.

  • Cate and the Tild: the new sitcom from the producers of That's My Dadaism. Thursdays on NBC.

    /cancelled

  • Sara_Tonin00

    Cate and The Tild are the new names for my ladyparts. I need something to bleach the memory of the phrase "lower bean garden" away. (I don't know why it icks me out so. Is it because I hate beans?)

    I also need to figure out which is which.

  • Easy: whichever one looks best in elf ears is Cate.

  • Sara_Tonin00

    I feel like elf ears on the vag would only confuse, whereas the vag could rock the White Witch's snow-white fur ensembles. So decision made.

  • Guest

    I love Fiona Apple, but she is frightening... I fear for her safety... to herself... and anyone she becomes intimate with. Also, she puts "crazy eyes" in OITNB to shame.

  • catherine751

    My Uncle Owen just got a new blue Honda Accord Plug-In Hybrid Sedan by working at home online... read more w­w­w.J­A­M­20.c­o­m

  • Freaky intense and talented, just right for being a tad scary.

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