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Tom Hanks Had Major Chemistry With A Volleyball, What Makes You Think Julia Will Present Any Sort Of A Challenge?

By Joanna Robinson | Posted Under Pajiba Love | Comments (35)



julia-roberts-and-tom-hanks-w.jpeg

Good morning my earnest Endeavors and darling Discoveries. How are we feeling about these End Of An Era space shuttle launches? I missed this morning’s blast-off (sleeping), but this photo did stir something very primal, child-like and hopeful in me. (Boing Boing)

I blame my early exposure to Star Wars for my space fascination. Check out this charming article on the five stages of grief for a Star Wars fan. I believe poor Tim Bisley is perma-stuck in “anger.”(Slate)

Speaking of formative films from my youth, here’s a photo comparison of what the cast of Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory looks like now. Veruca Salt is, predictably, still rather sexy, but someone tell me Augustus Gloop is joking with that outfit. (Blame It On The Voices)

Roald Dahl is, for all his whimsy, a rather disturbing author. I’d put “The Witches” on this list of “7 Disturbing Books Someone Probably Made You Read.” I mean, it’s no “Lord of The Flies,” but still. (The Mary Sue)

Speaking of disturbing whimsy, did you catch this Neil Gaiman’s episode of “Doctor Who” this week? It was one of my favorite ever. You can read C. Rob’s lovely recap here and then head over to the “The Guardian” where Gaiman has just answered a slew of fan questions about the episode and Who in general. (The Guardian)

We transition now from one of my dearest loves (Gaiman! Who!) to one of the most loathsome people to still be making scads of money. Sandra Bullock’s disgusting ex-husband is promoting his memoir and saying predictably distressful things while doing do. You feel sorry for Sandra Bullock? Really? Because from where I’m sitting, she’s winning. (Celebitchy)

Speaking of Sandy, she’s one of many gorgeous actresses to populate this short film “Beautiful Brunettes Falling Down.” The idea for the film came from this “New Yorker” excerpt on how to write a Romantic Comedy: “‘To make a woman adorable, you have to defeat her at the beginning… It’s as simple as making the girl cry, fifteen minutes into the movie.’ Relatability is based on vulnerability, which creates likeability. With male characters, smoking pot, getting drunk, and lying around watching porn is likeable; with females, the same conduct is hateful. So funny women must not only be gorgeous; they must fall down and then sob, knowing it’s all their fault.” (The Nerve)

I’m fairly certain Julia Roberts takes a few drunken tumbles in this summer’s Larry Crowne, I know there are a lot of Julia haters out there, but I have no problem with the woman as long as she sticks to her strengths…ze romantic comedy. Plus, Tom Hanks has enough charm to make up for an army of Julias. Here is their adorable interview for “W” and the bafflingly serious photo spread. Larry Crowne is a Romantic Comedy, right? (Evil Beet)

CNN anchor Don Lemon has come out of the closet this weekend and every article I’ve read about it has mentioned shock and awe that it’s not Anderson Cooper. BACK OFF THE SILVER FOX. Anyway, Lemon has some lovely things to say about why he’s chosen to come out now and how he thinks it will impact his career. (Jezebel)

SELF INTERESTED LINK ALERT! My good friend Aimee is training for the Disneyland 1/2 Marathon through Team in Training (the fundraising arm of the Leukemia & Lymphoma Society). She needs to raise $2200 for blood cancer research in order to participate in the run. Her page is here. Every little bit helps, my darlings. (Team In Training)

Now that I’ve officially panhandled in a Pajiba Love column, I shall distract you with something super shiny!! This past weekend was Eurovision Song Contest weekend and if you don’t know what that is, I suggest you read Caspar’s stellar write-up. But, trust me, my myopic ‘muricans, you don’t have to understand the Eurovision Song Contest to understand how truly fantastic Moldova’s entry was. Just watch and be amazed. You’ll ne’er see its like again.

And since that song wasn’t so much good as it was truly outrageous (JEM!) we’ll close today’s column with Raphael Saadiq. I’m about three or four years late to the Saadiq party, but better late than never. Enjoy his style which he calls “gospeldelic” and I call “so good I almost drove off the road yesterday when it came on the radio.”

Joanna Robinson cries out for Eurovision justice. MOLDOVAAAAAAA!!!!!!! Email! Twitter!









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Comments

Willy Wonka is easily one of the UGLIEST films ever made.

Posted by: Mrs. Julien at May 16, 2011 1:12 PM

I can't believe everyone has jumped on Team Moldova of Elfland. Team Jedward of Ireland were the clear winners with their Mad Max jackets and shitty ass pop song that gets stuck in your head and haunts your nightmares for months. I need more than Gnome hats, trumpets, and a unicycling fairy for my enjoyment and Jedward managed it with their hyperactive off-tune vocal.

Posted by: Robert at May 16, 2011 1:20 PM

I dunno about Hanks/Roberts. What did we think of Charlie Wilson's War again?

Posted by: Jerry at May 16, 2011 1:20 PM

I think it was not a romantic comedy and therefore not in Julia's wheelhouse.

Posted by: coveredinbees at May 16, 2011 1:22 PM

Thanks Court! I thought that was Gaimans mug in that pic.

BTW Neil, Johnny Cash called, he wants his black on black clothes back.

Posted by: logan at May 16, 2011 1:23 PM

Back when I was a "comic book widow", I was dragged to DragonCon in Atlanta with the then-beau. Having little interest in the proceedings, I found myself in the celebrity autograph area, where I spent a delightful afternoon with "Mike Teevee" and "Veruca Salt". They couldn't have been nicer (bonus points to Julie Dawn Cole for wearing a Veruca Salt - the band - t-shirt which was given to her by a fan.) That is all.

Posted by: SugarKane at May 16, 2011 1:28 PM

That volleyball deserved an Oscar WAY more than Julia Roberts ever will.

Posted by: MRod at May 16, 2011 1:33 PM

Willy Wonka is easily one of the UGLIEST films ever made.

You know, I'll bet that you think those Golden Tickets make the chocolate taste terrible.

Posted by: branded at May 16, 2011 1:36 PM

Ohh, I saw Mr. Saadiq in concert a couple of weeks ago. He. is. a. god. Being that hot + talented has to be illegal.

Posted by: Joker at May 16, 2011 1:38 PM

Oh and GO MOLDOVA!!!!

Posted by: Joker at May 16, 2011 1:39 PM

"Willy Wonka is easily one of the UGLIEST films ever made."

I think it should read "English fashion in the late 60's and early 70's made Willy Wonka one of the UGLIEST films ever made."

Posted by: Some Guy at May 16, 2011 1:44 PM

branded When the Julii make brownies, we refer to the gold foil wrapped Ghiradelli bar as "Golden Ticket Chocolate" and Little Julien has the honour of breaking it up with a wooden mallet while we sing "I've Got a Golden Ticket"; nonetheless, that film is an aesthetic assault that is not to be borne. The production design is so ugly as to make the film virtually unwatchable for me.

Posted by: Mrs. Julien at May 16, 2011 1:45 PM

Would it have killed them to spend some money on conditioner? Amirite Some Guy?

Posted by: Mrs. Julien at May 16, 2011 1:47 PM

It's not chemistry with Julia, it's that he looked like he was reprising Forrest Gump in the trailer I saw.

Posted by: Jay at May 16, 2011 1:48 PM

Why do you refer to Nerve.com as "The Nerve"? I always thought it was just "Nerve."

Posted by: kate the great at May 16, 2011 1:48 PM

We keep the dark chocolate and caramel Ghirardellis in the fridge to keep them cool...

Posted by: logan at May 16, 2011 1:57 PM

Speaking of "The Nerve" video, I dunno if they're really trying to make a point with that, but it's not a valid one if they are. Pratfalls and physical comedy have been a part of cinema since the very beginning. Cameron Diaz wouldn't have a career without Buster Keaton and Charlie Chaplin, not to mention the Stooges. Katherine Heigl and J-Lo ought to feel privileged to even in follow in their foot steps; not because they're men, but because they're comedy legends. Sandra Bullock, on the other hand, is definitely capable of more than falling on her face, and for her, the critique stands. But Will Ferrel isn't. Where's his video?

Much. Ado. About. Not a damn thing.

Oh, and I love Augustus Gloop's suit. But I'd never wear it unless I was entering an 1880s American West Banker Look-a-Like Contest.

Posted by: RobP at May 16, 2011 2:07 PM

I just assumed it to be garishly hideous on purpose. Regardless, I'm glad to see that the actor who played Charlie Bucket is following in Grandpa Joe's facial hairprints.

we refer to the gold foil wrapped Ghiradelli bar as "Golden Ticket Chocolate" and Little Julien has the honour of breaking it up with a wooden mallet while we sing "I've Got a Golden Ticket"

You could also bake "fancy bread," hide it, and then ask LJ where it is.

Posted by: branded at May 16, 2011 2:08 PM

He'd provide two possible answers. There are no flies on The Boy.

Posted by: Mrs. Julien at May 16, 2011 2:18 PM

That guy's no Star Wars fan. No Star Wars fan would accept or even be ambivalent about what didn't happen in the last twelve years. The real fans looped right back around to denial and went completely ignore the existence of that crap.

Wait. Or am I alone?

Posted by: lubeg at May 16, 2011 2:23 PM

(Although I totally had to look it up. Did you know there is a website called FancyBread.net? That's my second favourite baking/title reference after "House of the Rising Cake" in Toronto.)

Posted by: Mrs. Julien at May 16, 2011 2:24 PM

Mrs., says Roberts/Hanks were on "Oprah" the other day and that JR was hilarious.

I still love Mrs. , enough to go see her in the asylum once a week, during visiting hours, of course.

Posted by: , at May 16, 2011 3:06 PM

If you're going to read the Neil Gaiman Q&A, be sure to read the comments section. They excerpt partial responses in the article, but Gaiman's full answers are in the comments.

Posted by: Three-nineteen at May 16, 2011 3:12 PM

And promoting a movie on Oprah is the kiss of death. To wit -

Australia
Charlie Wilson's War
That Affair to Remember remake with Beatty/Bening
Mr. Majestic (that Carrey movie)

I can't think of more examples as I don't watch Oprah, but I know I glided by at least those.

Posted by: Mrs. Julien at May 16, 2011 3:24 PM

God damn but that comma thing makes it just about impossible to know what the hell you are ever talking about. I'm always assuming it's a typo and trying to fill in the blank.

Mrs J? I don't recall her saying that. Messrs Roberts and Hanks with a typo and a poor grasp of proper usage (not a stretch on the internet)? No, the sentence breaks down completely under that assumption. What the hell are we missing? Who is saying what about huh?

Oh, it's that guy.

Posted by: Yossarian at May 16, 2011 3:28 PM

MOLDOVAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Posted by: Nadine at May 16, 2011 3:30 PM

I think Pajiba is mad at me. I get a full screen pop up every time I click any link on the site. To add insult to injury, the content is blocked by my employer; I have to wait for the red X at the top of the screen to proceed. Is it meant to be a holding pen? Should I be taking cleansing breaths? To whom do I send the muffin basket of apology? Do I need one of those stamps that only shows up under black light? I LOVE those.

Posted by: Mrs. Julien at May 16, 2011 3:46 PM

That's just Pajiba...*taps temple*...fuckin witchu.

Posted by: Jay at May 16, 2011 3:48 PM

Charlie Wilson's War taught us that Aaron Sorkin, Tom Hanks and Phillip Seymore Hoffman can make Julia Roberts tolerable. I'm not sure one of those things on their own can get the job done.

Posted by: Dave at May 16, 2011 3:49 PM

Let's be honest Jay. I probably have it coming.

Posted by: Mrs. Julien at May 16, 2011 3:58 PM

My interest in her has completely fallen off since she got all earnest, but didn't Janeane Garofalo make the same joke about beautiful women falling down about fifteen years ago?

I don't really understand why everyone is so protective of her, she's almost 50, she can handle herself. And since the whole world already hates her ex, I don't feel like we have to be reminded of her sainthood every week for having suffered the slings and arrows of a marriage to someone everyone already knew was not exactly a prince. Absolutely doesn't mean she deserved the betrayal and this dog and pony show or even that she should have seen this coming (recidivist though he may have been), I guess I just don't feel compelled to call someone by a nickname when that person doesn't even know my first name. I guess the 'pretty white woman go boom' syndrome works in real life, too--where sympathy becomes fanaticism. I wonder what would happen to Dustin's Q-rating if we could somehow arrange it so he would be skipping through a field of ghettoblasters in the rain, slip and impale himself on a pen? Not that I ever want anything bad or painful to happen to him, but I don't think calling him The Dust-Buster will anything less that heroically asinine until he starts crying along to a Genesis medley.

Posted by: Jo 'Mama' Besser at May 16, 2011 8:23 PM

Tom Hanks and Julie Roberts in the same film.
Wow easiest way to tell me not worth seeing. Thanks I can make time for something else more entertaining like watching paint dry.

Posted by: clancys_daddy at May 16, 2011 8:23 PM

You want some answers as to why and how the star wars prequels sucked so bad, go look up Red Letter Media and star wars reviews. About the most hilarious thing ive seen, probably seen each review three or four times. Even showed it to people that never saw the movies and they loved it.

Posted by: Sinnh at May 16, 2011 10:10 PM

"Larry Crowne" is for audiences who found "Big Fat Greek Wedding" too edgy.

And I counted four Magic Negroes in "Crowne," which may be a record.

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Posted by: Tyson F. Gautreaux at July 10, 2011 8:16 AM