Today I Learned that Unmarried Poor Women Should Stop Having Sex, and That HBO Needs More Erect Penises

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Today I Learned that Unmarried Poor Women Should Stop Having Sex, and That HBO Needs More Erect Penises

By Dustin Rowles | Pajiba Love | January 30, 2014 | Comments ()


“ScarJo looked at the check she gets from OxFam and it took her a minute to realize there was no check from Oxfam since they’re not paying her. Then she looked at the check she gets from SodaStream [for her Super Bowl commercial] and on it was a number larger than zero followed by a bunch of zeroes. Decision made!” (Dlisted)

While Miley Cyrus managed to keep much of her clothing on during her MTV Unplugged performance, it didn’t stop her from twerking with a stuffed horse, which she allowed to nuzzle her butt. (GFY)

How do we know that Seth Meyers is going to rock Late Night? Because this Weekend Update blooper reel proves the man knows how to save a bad joke. (WG)

No, no. That’s not an abandoned baby near the dumpster. THAT’S A BAG OF SNAKES. (Videogum)

Working with Edgar Wright (Shawn of the Dead) our friend David Chen over at Slashfilm put together this brilliant video on the Art of the Close-Up. (Slashfilm)

An actual statement said by an actual person tired of seeing a couple posting their vacation photos on Facebook: “Go have some kids and don’t be so selfish as to only think of yourselves all the time.” Whut? (via STFU Parents) (Milwaukee Journal Sentinel)

It’s not that I don’t agree with this piece asserting that HBO’s Looking needs more erections, I think I just find this particular statement off-putting: “The essence of (gay) male sexuality [is] the erect penis.” Is it? (Slate)

The problem with the Captain America character posters is that Captain America doesn’t get to have any fun at all in them. Poor guy, trapped in the corner, with nothing to do but brood. (The Mary Sue)

“Netflix will be toppled by the growth of TV Everywhere within two years.” — TBS President. Huh? (TV Week)

Unmarried poor women should just stop having sex. — Rand Paul, on the solution to our nation’s problem. Huh? (Jezebel)

Oh, no: Morpheus from The Matrix is back. To sell cheap cars. Sh*t. (Unreality)

What does it take to get an Oscar nomination disqualified? We found out today, now didn’t we, song no one has ever heard of? (FSR)

Did you know that Christian Bale and Phil Collins share a birthday today? American Psycho fans should appreciate the irony. Unrelated: Taylor Swift may be angry with the way folks reacted to her reaction to losing the Grammy. Related: If there’s an American Psycho remake, wouldn’t Taylor Swift songs be the perfect ditties with which to murder? (Celebitchy)

Damnit, the pilot order for Selfie was announced too late to fit into this week’s 9 Truths and a Lie. (Trick, by the way, was the lie). (EW)

Louis C.K.’s first film, Tomorrow, was released on the Internet today, and we’ve already got our first review. (Flavorwire)

First Official Look At The Khaleesi's New Boy Toy In 'Game Of Thrones' Is Enough To Turn Your Facial Hair Blue | Hand to God, This Is the Most Amazing Stay-In-School Commercial You'll See In Your Life

Are you following Pajiba on Facebook or Twitter? Every time you do, Bill Murray crashes a wedding.

Comments Are Welcome, Bigots and Trolls Are Not

  • Jezzer

    That Slate article is quite possibly the dumbest thing I've read on Slate, and since Slate seems determined to out-dumb Salon, that's saying a lot. The whole thing read like a Crum Facebook post.

  • lowercase_ryan

    So no Dreama Walker as a hooker?? =(

  • I'm pretty indifferent as far as who has sex with what, but if you're unmarried and poor, it might not hurt to think twice about bringing a child into that.

  • e jerry powell

    As I have often said, the number one cause of unintended pregnancy is fucking. Immaculate Conception is a distant second.

    So while I am a very sex-positive person generally, the thought that one might engage recklessly with no mind towards any consequences, to say nothing of all the potentially negative ones, is a non-starter for me.

    It's all about the risk manangement, people.

    Now I need a pill, because I just made Rand Paul sound logical.

  • foolsage

    Even a stopped clock is right twice a day. - old proverb

  • Never has the old saying about politics making strange bedfellows been more apt, eh?

  • e jerry powell

    EWW. Get Rand Paul out of my bed!

  • Salieri2

    This is news, somehow, about Rand Paul?

  • googergieger

    It is.

  • I am pretty sure it is coincidental that Bale and Collins share a birthday, and not ironic. #houseofpedantry

  • e jerry powell

    "'The essence of (gay) male sexuality [is] the erect penis.' Is it?"

    No. The essence of MALE sexuality is the erect penis. Gay men are not special in this respect, only in where they choose to put them. Perhaps not even in that respect, what with the cliche about what straight men get on their birthdays.

  • Sara_Tonin00

    If there’s an American Psycho remake, wouldn’t Taylor Swift songs be the perfect ditties with which to murder?

    There's an American Psycho musical. Does that count for anything? (I'm sure Pajiba's written about it. It stars Matt Smith.)

  • e jerry powell

    If there's an American Psycho remake, why wouldn't they cast Taylor Swift as Patricia Bateman?

  • XWheme1937

    мʏ в­­­­­­℮­­­­­­ѕт ғʀι­­­­­­℮­­­­­­ɴɖ'ѕ ѕιѕт­­­­­­℮­­­­­­ʀ мαĸ­­­­­­℮­­­­­­ѕ $86 нօυʀʟʏ օɴ тн­­­­­­℮­­­­­­ ƈօмքυт­­­­­­℮­­­­­­ʀ. ѕн­­­­­­℮­­­­­­ нαѕ в­­­­­­℮­­­­­­­­­­­­℮­­­­­­ɴ ʟαιɖ օғғ ғօʀ ɴιɴ­­­­­­℮­­­­­­ мօɴтнѕ вυт ʟαѕт мօɴтн н­­­­­­℮­­­­­­ʀ ƈн­­­­­­℮­­­­­­ƈĸ աαѕ $21995 ʝυѕт աօʀĸιɴɢ օɴ тн­­­­­­℮­­­­­­ ƈօмքυт­­­­­­℮­­­­­­ʀ ғօʀ α ғ­­­­­­℮­­­­­­ա нօυʀѕ. ɢ­­­­­­℮­­­­­­т мօʀ­­­­­­℮­­­­­­ ιɴғօʀмαтιօɴ

  • Irina

    I might be wrong here, but it seemed to me that the producers of "Looking" were actually trying to show that there is more to a gay man's life than who he's f**king. Like, they're real people, with problems and insecurities and feelings and such (I know, right? Who knew)(*sarcasm font* in case it didn't translate).

  • guest

    Being a gay man means being gay aswell as a man. Being gay is a part of who you are but it's not all you are. It's just that sex sells so that's the part everyone in the industry focuses on. Like Jane Austen adding more romance to her novels so they'll sell.

  • NateMan

    1. Gotta close that italic, people!
    2. Cthulhu, that SodaStream article is pretty damned bitchy.
    3. I dunno, is there much sexuality for gay men without an erect penis? I know my straight male sexuality is pretty bound up to erect penii and wet vagina. Can't do much without at least one of them! I guess it depends on whether you think they meant 'sexuality' as in 'how they have sex' - which I did - or were thinking about the broader meaning of the term, which I wasn't.

  • idgiepug

    On behalf of women everywhere, please allow me to remind you that you/we also have breasts, fingers, mouths.

    Also, I don't think "sexuality" is limited to "how they have sex."

  • e jerry powell

    Well, there's Venus of Willendorf versus the phallic Greco-Roman herms at every crossroads in Europe.

  • NateMan

    Oh yes, and those are all fine and lovely things that should be enjoyed as often as possible. But eventually you have to move on from the appetizers, as it were, to the main course.

    As far as sexuality goes, of course it's not limited. But I got the sense from the article the other day that the author wasn't thinking in broad terms, but rather how the lack of actual and apparent sexual interest -ie, an erection when around people one was attracted to - wasn't an accurate representation of sexual situations.

  • e jerry powell

    It's certainly representation of porn scenes. A man who isn't erect when sex is imminent (with a partner of whichever gender is operative) is highly suspect.

  • abell

    You're forgetting butts! Not to mention nostrils and ears and feet! And other stuff that people fetishize!

  • Felecia Powell

    my friend's step-mother Μ­­­­­­а­­­­­­κ­­­­­­℮­­­­­­ѕ $­­­­­­­­­89 հ­­­­­­օ­­­­­­υ­­­­­­rly on the і­­­­­­ո­­­­­­τ­­­­­­℮­­­­­­r­­­­­­ո­­­­­­℮­­­­­­τ. She has been fired for 8 Μ­­­­­­օ­­­­­­ո­­­­­­τ­­­­­­հ­­­­­­ѕ but last Μ­­­­­­օ­­­­­­ո­­­­­­τ­­­­­­հ her income was $­­­­­­­­­17899 just W­­­­­­օ­­­­­­r­­­­­­κing on the і­­­­­­ո­­­­­­τ­­­­­­℮­­­­­­r­­­­­­ո­­­­­­℮­­­­­­τ for a Ϝ­­­­­­℮­­­­­­W հ­­­­­­օ­­­­­­υ­­­­­­rs. published հ­­­­­­℮­­­­­­r­­­­­­℮,... WWW.Startwithgooglework2014tru...

    ●●● ●●●● ●●●● ●●● ●●● ●●●I might be wrong here, but it seemed to me that the producers of "Looking"

  • e jerry powell

    I've told you once already.


  • e jerry powell

    But those are completely different episodes of a completely different HBO show, oddly, a show where gay people don't seem to exist.

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