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To Cake! The Cause Of and Solution To All Of Life's Problems.

By Joanna Robinson | Posted Under Pajiba Love | Comments (48)



cake.png

Greetings and salutations you hep cats and smitten kittens! I know you’ve seen some changes here on the P. Love and I want to set your troubled minds at ease. Link wenches may come and link wenches may go, but our love of Allie Brosh will remain ever steadfast. Here’s her latest (posted yesterday) if you’ve yet to see it. (Hyperbole and a Half)

And, on the complete opposite end of the classy spectrum from yesterday’s Shackleton Whisky, we bring you whisky in a can. Too bad it doesn’t come in a Trenta size. (Eater)

Alright you typeface nerds and general malcontents, Princeton University conducted a recent study that points out the (gasp!) benefit of fonts such as Comic Sans. I know, I know. Click the link once you’ve stopped shaking with rage. (Salon)

Are you still angry? Here, have a Helvetica cookie. There, that’s better. (Typography Daily)

Coachella has just announced their line-up for this year’s festival. See I’m not a legit hipster, nor one for festivals, so my favorite part about these announcements is picking out the best band name. Right now it’s a dead heat between “The Bloody Beetroots” and “Joy Orbison.” (Coachella)

I know how you little monkeys like to be know-it-alls. We few, we happy few, we band of bothers. Here’s some more trivia (food-themed) you can plague people with. DID YOU KNOW CARROTS USED TO BE PURPLE? Me neither. (Today I Found Out)

So Regis is retiring from “Regis and Kelly.” I cannot believe these people (Larry! Oprah!) have the effrontery to leave these shows I don’t even watch. I can’t be bothered to learn a whole new set of names, damn you. (Celebitchy)

In case you missed it, it’s been snowing a lot. Some NY lad decided to go cross-country skiing in Prospect Park and stumbled across a film canister. He had the film developed and is trying to track down the photographer with the power of youtube. I love these “Power of Youtube” stories. I also love the part where he tries to guess the nationality of the people in the photo based on, like, their hair. I do that all the time. Do you know these for’ners? (Gawker)

Loath (LOATH) as I am to agree with Glenn Beck on anything, but he may have a point about excessive violence in Philadelphia. Some Philly guy shot his friend…in the chest…OVER A PIECE OF CAKE. Also, the cop quoted in this article used the technical term “Bang! Bang!” It’s no “Bling! Bang!” but it’ll do. (NBC)

Okay, I know I oughtn’t crumble to the slavering hordes who cry out, “MOAR CUTE ANIMALS! WHITHER THE LOLCATS?” But these monkeys are very cute and there is enough science talk in the article to make me feel comfortable with myself and my principles. (National Geographic)

I rarely watch “Late Night with Jimmy Fallon” because sometimes I choose sleep over larffs, but I love catching up with his sketches the next morning and I really dig the excellent use he makes of having The Roots as his in-house band. Here’s Steven Tyler (who’s sold out, yes yes) doing “Walk This Way” with Jimmy doing one of the whiter Run-D.M.C. impressions you’ll ever see.



Joanna Robinson has some friends who let her play Rock Band at their house and you better believe there are fancy scarves tied to their microphone. If you want to jam with us sometime, you’re going to have to pay your dues on the drums. Set up a play date here: godtopuswept@gmail.com









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Comments

It's turning out to be a good (or at least a better-than-average) day. I've noticed at least two Simpsons references toady.

I know, it don't take much to make me happy.

Posted by: Kargoyle at January 19, 2011 1:21 PM

The Coachella link is not working.

Fixed! Thanks!--JR

Posted by: Jadine at January 19, 2011 1:22 PM

Good gravy those commenters on that Gawker story are a bitter, distrusting bunch. And that's coming from the Queen of Bitter.

Posted by: fenchurch at January 19, 2011 1:24 PM

I've been Benny at the Wolf-Girl party and it is no picnic. Those little monsters do not give up. Nor do they soon surrender their lust for a particular victim. I was two years shaking the troop which became enamored of me. And it did leave emotional scars ever after.

Posted by: lubeg at January 19, 2011 1:25 PM

RE: The snow picture.

What kind of idiotic town makes streets where 3rd and 4th streets intersect with each other? (My town actually has a street that intersects with itself.)

Posted by: Paultera at January 19, 2011 1:25 PM

Thank you for not posting the video of the dog (who looks just like my lab mix) who has sat by his owner's grave in Brazil for three days now. I just couldn't bare to look at that again (yes, I know children were left parentless also, but I can't help it, I'm a dog person).

Posted by: PaddyDog at January 19, 2011 1:27 PM

Salon link leads to nothing and Nat Geo link is not a link!

Posted by: Lizzy at January 19, 2011 1:33 PM

Another heads-up: The Salon link is giving me a 404 and making me sad.

Posted by: Figgy at January 19, 2011 1:35 PM

I swear I had refreshed before I posted the comment!

I want the Helvetica cookie cutters. They are so pretty.

And I love random food trivia and I'm now starving for some fruit. thanks for making me eat healthy. Ugh.

Posted by: figgy at January 19, 2011 1:38 PM

You kids and your crazy slang. Giving me a 404, fly like a G6, it's all numbers and illicit cough syrup these days.

mmmm, cough syrup.

Posted by: mrcreosote at January 19, 2011 1:39 PM

I'm fairly familiar with Philadelphia. Many parts of it do suck, but maybe the bigger issue is that maniacs who descend to physical violence when baked goods are pilfered should not have access to firearms. I *definitely* wouldn't consider Old City to be the parts of Philly I find scariest.

As for 3rd St intersecting 4th St...Queens does Brooklyn one better there. We have things like 36th Ave intersecting 36th St. Go deeper into Queens and have 71st St crossing 71st Ave with little 71st Rd and 71st Dr splitting off nearby. It's how we defend our land from outsiders.

Posted by: Sara Tonin at January 19, 2011 1:40 PM

Cake is bullshit. Pie is the way forward.

Posted by: WestCoastPat at January 19, 2011 1:47 PM

What kind of idiotic town makes streets where 3rd and 4th streets intersect with each other?

It's 3rd Avenue and 4th Street.

I live in a bigger city where avenues predominantly run North/South and streets run East/West. Many use numbers instead of names, and, unless the street names are in alphabetical order, does that make me the only person who finds that easier?

Posted by: branded at January 19, 2011 1:48 PM

Paddydog - I believe that the dog has been adopted by a family and will be cared for. That's the word on the street, anyway.

Posted by: Jami at January 19, 2011 1:52 PM

DINNER used to be BREAKFAST?! no wonder French toast is so good for supper....

Also, I would TOTALLY shoot you in the chest if you started eating my cake. Especially if you did it RIGHT IN FUCKING FRONT OF ME. I mean, please. It's CAKE.

Posted by: Anna von Beav at January 19, 2011 1:54 PM

There are three things you should remember that will allow you to live a long, healthy life:

1) Never mess with a man's money.
2) Never mess with a man's woman.
3) Never, EVER mess with man's cake.

Also, that happened literally next door to my building. I know how to use "literally" so when I say literally, I MEAN A MAN GOT SHOT IN THE BUILDING NEXT DOOR OVER SOME FUCKING CAKE.

Posted by: Tracer Bullet at January 19, 2011 1:55 PM

It's "loath" as I am to agree, not "loathe."

God damn it.

http://englishplus.com/grammar/00000238.htm

Posted by: kate the great at January 19, 2011 1:59 PM

No, you know what? If I was sitting in a car with you, and you grabbed my piece of cake and started eating it, fuck shooting you in the chest. I'd shoot you in the FACE.

Posted by: Anna von Beav at January 19, 2011 2:00 PM

Gord Downie from Tragically Hip is playing Coachella. Who would of thought?

Posted by: Jadine at January 19, 2011 2:07 PM

I'm pretty sure I'm the only one begging for cute animals. I need to reconsider my priorities. But they're so adorable!

Posted by: Vee at January 19, 2011 2:08 PM

Some Philly guy shot his friend…in the chest…OVER A PIECE OF CAKE.

Dearest Link Wench,

The friend clearly chose death.

Sincerely,
The Church of England

Posted by: branded at January 19, 2011 2:18 PM

Strange, after I finished eating the Helvetica Cookie, I felt right as rain...green text rain.

Posted by: bleujayone at January 19, 2011 2:20 PM

Wouldn't it be great if we could post our comments in whatever font we wanted?
Me? I would choose Outlaw, sans Sheriff. BAM!
Seriously, I love the whole debate. I am endlessly fascinated by all the prose and cons.
POW!
This is what happens when I make the EE. Sorry.

Posted by: Odnon. at January 19, 2011 2:24 PM

On the Gawker story for the film canister, where they show the still of the two guys (click the link "trying to track down") who were the photographers - I think that's Zachary Quinto sporting some long hair on the right.

Posted by: mswas at January 19, 2011 2:28 PM

What kind of idiotic town makes streets where 3rd and 4th streets intersect with each other? Posted by: Paultera at January 19, 2011 1:25 PM
It's actually 3rd AV and 4th ST. Not so "Ripley's" when you think of it.

Posted by: Odnon. at January 19, 2011 2:28 PM

This may be the greatest Pajiba Love in the history of ever. And yes, I do say that because I have nothing to do at work, and 3 hours and 31 minutes left to kill here. 'Today I Found Out' should fill at least half of that time, I do believe.

Also, YES, you do need more cute animal links/vids/etc here.

Posted by: Gabs at January 19, 2011 2:28 PM

I know how you little monkeys like to be know-it-alls. We few, we happy few, we band of bothers.

That is either the most fortuitous typo or a brilliant play on words. Brava, Link Wench!

Posted by: bonnie at January 19, 2011 2:35 PM

re: Coachella. The only damned name I cared about was PJ Harvey. I'm so old...

re: cross-country skier finds film. It seems like this guy wants to find the people who shot the film not to return the film but to try to trap these anonymous fools into being his friend.

Posted by: litmus0001 at January 19, 2011 2:42 PM

Aaaaaaaah Helvetica, my sweet Swiss streamlined typeface, how I do love thee! And Arial can go fuck itself.

Posted by: brite at January 19, 2011 2:44 PM

Joy Orbison + Coachella = :D

Posted by: Seany D at January 19, 2011 2:45 PM

Posted by: branded at January 19, 2011 2:18 PM


You get me, branded. You really get me. *snif*

Posted by: Anna von Beav at January 19, 2011 2:47 PM

Gah, sorry for all the bugs today guys. Everything should be fixed, including loath/loathe. I burn with shame. Also, that "bothers" was not a typo. For once.

Love!

Joanna

Posted by: coveredinbees at January 19, 2011 3:21 PM

@Jami:

Thanks for letting me know. I hoped he would be adopted but having watched so many stray dogs wander the streets of Sao Paulo when I was there I wasn't sure.

NOTE: I was not the one who pointed out the "loathe/loathe" thing. I was nowhere near the thread when it happened. I feel so vindicated. Like Klaus Von Bulow when the woman choked in the restaurant.

Posted by: PaddyDog at January 19, 2011 3:24 PM

The typos didn't brother me at all.

Posted by: Odnon. at January 19, 2011 3:25 PM

There ain't nothin' wrong with cake. Cake is blameless.

And Glenn Beck isn't right about anything, as far as I can tell.

Posted by: Slash at January 19, 2011 3:35 PM

Good one, branded!

Oh, that poor doggie in Brazil. I hope he's happy in his new home. That story had me hugging my own doggie all day. My dog was happy at first, and then she was clearly "get this bitch OFF me, with the sniffling already!"

Posted by: Chickaboom at January 19, 2011 3:37 PM

Those monkeys are adorable. But if you click through the slideshow and see them with their teeth bared, they really look frightening.

Posted by: denesteak at January 19, 2011 4:00 PM

Paultera, I'll see your town containing a road that intersects with itself (we have at least two) and I'll raise you streets that end and randomly pick back up several streets away.

Posted by: Even Stevens at January 19, 2011 4:14 PM

I'll raise you streets that end and randomly pick back up several streets away.

*Road RAGE flashback*

Inarticulate for a moment...

Posted by: Rykker at January 19, 2011 4:19 PM

Here in the capitol city of the Frozen North, we have a downtown where the east-west streets are numbered, and the north-south ones are named. But see, there's a problem, in that there is a river which makes a sharp bend, leading to the abomination of 7th Street intersecting with 5th Street. But not 6th Street.

We have a former governor who got into all kinds of trouble by going onto David Letterman and blaming it on drunken Irish workers. So now we blame it on the river.

Posted by: mistress of all evil at January 19, 2011 6:37 PM

I just feel the need to correct people all the time. It's not the greatest habit, but hopefully it's taken in the spirit of educational outreach, and not just me being a snotty bitch.

Posted by: kate the great at January 20, 2011 12:23 AM

litmus0001, PJ Harvey was one of two names I cared about on that list, so I'd say you're in good company.

Posted by: Uda at January 20, 2011 6:15 AM

Is that same Coachella that has the Carrot Festival?
[according to Bugs Bunny]

Posted by: OldSchool60 at January 20, 2011 9:41 AM

kate the great:

Embrace your inner snotty bitch. You'll grow to love her. Mine is my best friend.

Posted by: PaddyDog at January 20, 2011 10:03 AM

Down here in central Florida, we have the intersection of Boggy Creek Road and Boggy Creek Road. They run in different directions and are not a loop.

The color orange used to be called "geoluhread" which means "yellow red." It's also pronounced "yellow red." "Ge" is pronounced "Yeh" in old English.

Posted by: BWeaves at January 20, 2011 10:59 AM

...in the immortal words of eddi izzard...


CAKE OR DEATH!?

Posted by: kikz at January 20, 2011 11:10 AM

Man, Pajiba Love used to be so much better. I can't read it any more with the new writer.

Posted by: Fxb at January 20, 2011 1:21 PM

RE Coachella fest
Thought this might be my year to plunk down my hard earned dough and
throw away my willingness to be clean, happy and unsullied by light beer.
There's NO freakin Daft Punk though. All the kiddies were salivating... and
denied. Booo!

Posted by: Ms MoMo at January 20, 2011 2:29 PM