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Timberlake Continues To Be The Most Astonishingly Classy Player In The Hollywood Game

By Joanna Robinson | Posted Under Pajiba Love | Comments (31)

justin-timberlake-mila-kunis-mtv-movie-awards-2.jpeg

As you’ve no doubt heard by now, my rambunctious readers, Samuel L. Jackson has recorded the audiobook for that insta-classic “Go The F*ck To Sleep.” You can download the whole thing from Audible for free. I might play it to my nephew today if he screams during naptime. Great aunt or greatest aunt? (Audible)

I’m loving these superhero hoodies but I’m not loving the bizarre shiny parts. I don’t need my clothing to look like it’s made from duct tape, the tears in my jeans make me look homeless enough. (Think Geek)

Speaking of shiny superheroes, wasn’t Fassbender tremendous in X-Men? Now now, don’t get fassbent out of shape, I know he’s not really a “superhero.” Check out this fantastic rendering of a toddler Magneto (now with less Nazi persecution). That’s very good, Erik, now go the f*ck to sleep. (Cool Vibe)

Speaking of ze Germans, here are 10 Global Businesses that collaborated with the Nazis (or “gnat-seas” if you’re doing an inglorious Brad Pitt impersonation). Et tu, Nestle? (Business Pundit)

While we’re talking evil, check out this list of the 10 Most Diabolical Fish On Earth. (Environmental Graffiti)

I mostly included that list because it makes excellent use of the word “diabolical.” Everyone knows, however, that when it comes to diabolical, nothing in the water beats a cephalopod. (I actually only learned this last night.) Watch this video of an octopus coming to blows with a shark. It’s terrifying. TERRIFYING! (National Geographic)

In the realm of terrifying, how terrified would you be if you found out some dudes were planning to kidnap you… and they brought swords. Poor Joss Stone. After that, I would never be able to go the f*ck to sleep. (Celebitchy)

Death by sword was a rather ho-hum way to go back in the Tudor era. But check out these 10 Strange Ways Tudors Died. Death by maypole? I love you, internet. (BBC)

Someone here loves their internet to bits and pieces. Well, I guess it’s their computer. They loved their computer’s bits and pieces so much they built an entire room out of PC parts. Now, if you click on this link, beware that the 3D rendering of the room is super disorienting and there are strange, creepy sound effects (I heartily endorse a good muting). But other than that, it’s auuuushome. (Instalacja)

Doesn’t “a good muting” sound like it ought to be a sex act? Can we pretend it is? For someone who’s always muting around, Justin Timberlake somehow seems to come out clean. Here he is in an interview for Playboy saying nothing but nice and classy things about his ex-ladyfriends. Timberfake? Maybe. But he’s got my vote. (Evil Beet)

Speaking of the Timbersnake, I still think The Social Network deserved the Best Picture Oscar last year. I’m more than a little curious to see how the nomination process will shake out this year now that they’ve changed the rules…AGAIN. (The Film Experience)

I, for one, hope David Fincher’s The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo makes it into the pack. I love me some Fincher. Here are some alternate Fight Club posters for you to ogle (I’ve always loved that Jerod Gibson series). Then check out this tribute to Fincher’s body of work. Warning, if you’re at the office, this video has Helena, her Bonham AND her Carters. NSFW.

DAVID FINCHER - Tribute from FilmFreaks on Vimeo.

Finally, my macho men and girlie girls, here’s an adorable recruitment film for the Toronto Gay Rugby league. It’s scrum-ptious.

Joanna Robinson apologizes for the scrum pun. She admits she has a problem. Now, you know what? Go the f*ck to sleep.









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Comments

Re: Shark and Octopus

I started to watch the clip, after picking my feet up off the floor for "safety" and realised that I AM INSANE to watch it. I am terrified of sharks and freaked the hell out by most sea creatures, especially those that feel no need for a backbone. I didn't even make it to the fight. I got about a minute in before the creatures swimming in and out of the blackness overwhelmed my soul and the willies overwhelmed my body.

(I am typing this from the cube overhead compartment on the left. Please excuse any typos.)

Posted by: Mrs. Julien at June 15, 2011 1:23 PM

That must be the most awkward breast clasping I have ever seen. It almost looks like Timberlake is giving Kunis a very poor rendition of the Heimlich.

Posted by: DarthCorleone at June 15, 2011 1:26 PM

Justin Timberfake comes out clean? Only because he leaves he leaves other people holding the bag and letting them take the heat. Can you say Janet Jackson?

Posted by: khia213 at June 15, 2011 1:39 PM

10 Global Businesses that collaborated with the Nazis

Heavens to Murgatroid, suddenly this cubicle feels even more emotional restricting! Ugh, I want to take a shower...

Posted by: Patty O'Green at June 15, 2011 1:42 PM

Octopuses are awesome.

Posted by: Slash at June 15, 2011 1:42 PM

If Doctor Who ever wants to kill off a companion or cause a regeneration in a very audience-alienating, jump-the-shark way, it looks like all he needs to do is travel back to the 1500s.

Posted by: DarthCorleone at June 15, 2011 1:47 PM

I read the saddest thing about octopi today...

(if that's not a song lyric, it should be)

The female Giant Octopus, which grows to be two to three times larger than a human and weigh 120 pounds, is perhaps the most intense animal Mom ever. After mating and gestating for five months, she begins to release her 56,000 or so tiny egg-like babies out of her body and into the sea. She gathers them methodically and attaches them into strands of about 170 each and attaches them to the inside of a cave that she seeks out and protects with piles of rock to keep away erstwhile predators. When all of the young are attached, she spends months staying constantly nearby, gently brushing the strands with her tentacles to keep away parasites, and using her body to blow gusts of water over them to keep them aerated and free of harmful bacteria. She never leaves their side, even to eat. She weakens tremendously and her skin turns from a lustrous red to a pale grey as she uses up all her strength. Finally, as she is about to lose all her strength, she gusts waves of water around her offspring such that they detach from their strands in cascades and are freed into the ocean to fend for themselves. They are tiny, but fully formed and 50,000 strong. When all the babies are gone, the mother will float a couple of meters out of her cave, and die.

The kicker?

Out of all of those 50,000 offspring, swimming out their separate ways to survive on their own, only about two will survive to be adult Giant Octopi. In scientific terms, the population is "stable", in that those lucky two will have successfully replaced their parents.

Posted by: StoatCat at June 15, 2011 1:47 PM

I'd like to see JT try that with Christina Hendricks.

Posted by: logan at June 15, 2011 1:47 PM

Mr. Julien and I refer to Fanta as Nazi Pop at all times.

Posted by: Mrs. Julien at June 15, 2011 1:47 PM

I read that as an octopus blowing a shark, and thought "Nooooo frigging way." But now to watch the actual video.

Posted by: MM at June 15, 2011 1:49 PM

I don't know who Joss Stone is, but I do know there's a perfectly good National Geographic narrator just waiting to get kidnapped at, uh, swordpoint.

Posted by: LEROOOY at June 15, 2011 1:50 PM

I knew the shark vs octopus vid would give me the willies, so I went straight to the David Fincher tribute. Of course, less than 30 seconds in they show that fucking clown marionette from The Game and now I wish I was with Mrs. Julien in her cube overhead compartment.

Posted by: Three-nineteen at June 15, 2011 1:53 PM

And that, friends, is why we worship the Godtopus. He will smite his enemies in his iron-tentacled grasp.

PS I believe sharks can actually drown if they don't keep moving forward and have water rushing over their gills, so that shark probably got drowned-ed.

Posted by: MM at June 15, 2011 1:54 PM

MM The cube overhead compartment on the right is free.

Posted by: Mrs. Julien at June 15, 2011 1:55 PM

Cephalopods aren't evil. They're just misunderstood.

Posted by: fracas at June 15, 2011 1:56 PM

I ain't afraid of no octopus. Nor a shark neither. I'm mildly afraid of deep water and drowning, but, you know, whatevs.

I'll be down here when you're ready to come out, sweetie.

Posted by: MM at June 15, 2011 1:59 PM

Mr. Julien and I refer to Fanta as Nazi Pop at all times.
Posted by: Mrs. Julien at June 15, 2011 1:47 PM

Ever since I saw The Corporation, I tell everyone who will listen that Fanta was invented so that Coke could continue profiting in Germany without sullying their name.

I think they're growing weary of it.

Posted by: Anna von Beav at June 15, 2011 2:00 PM

I could have lived with the disappointment of The Social Network losing best picture. But Fincher losing to Tom Hooper? Inexcusable.

Posted by: ChristianH at June 15, 2011 2:01 PM

The Corporation is EXACTLY why we call it Nazi Pop AvB. And why we changed the milk we drink to exclusively non-RGBH.

I'm afraid to watch Food, Inc.

Posted by: Mrs. Julien at June 15, 2011 2:04 PM

You might wanna make sure your comfy up there for awhile, Mrs. J.
There's good news and bad news...
Good news: The octopus ate the shark.
Bad news: The OCTOPUS ate the SHARK.

Posted by: Rykker at June 15, 2011 2:05 PM

Sorry MM, I meant to say Three-nineteen. I was distracted. By the fear.

Posted by: Mrs. Julien at June 15, 2011 2:07 PM

I'm afraid to watch Food, Inc.

Yes, me too. I'm worried I'd starve to death afterwards. From the never being able to eat anything ever again.

Posted by: Anna von Beav at June 15, 2011 2:09 PM

Ever since I saw The Corporation, I tell everyone who will listen that Fanta was invented so that Coke could continue profiting in Germany without sullying their name.

Have a Coke and a SIEG SMILE!

Posted by: branded at June 15, 2011 2:11 PM

That octopus-shark fight was awesome. Well, it wasn't much of a "fight," but it was still cool.

Posted by: DarthCorleone at June 15, 2011 2:42 PM

it looks like all he needs to do is travel back to the 1500s.

Sorry

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Massacre_of_St_Bartholomew%27s_Eve

Posted by: Jay at June 15, 2011 2:44 PM

Re: Coca-Cola / Nazis / Fanta...

I don't recall how they portrayed the tale in The Corporation, as it was way back in 2004 that I saw that movie, but Snopes' rendition of it is enlightening...

http://www.snopes.com/cokelore/fanta.asp

Posted by: DarthCorleone at June 15, 2011 2:48 PM

You call dat a shark? i'd love to see dat octopus take on a great white.

Posted by: haplo at June 15, 2011 3:07 PM

Regarding the new Best Picture process, did anyone see if they are still using instant-runoff voting to determine the winner once the nominees are set? Will that methodology be dependent on the number of nominees, or will they stick with one or the other regardless of how many nominees there are?

Posted by: DarthCorleone at June 15, 2011 3:36 PM

I must be a blood thirsty barbarian but I LOVED that octopus video.

Posted by: snapnhiss at June 15, 2011 6:55 PM

Holy fuck, that octopus! I think MM's right, some sharks will drown if they can't keep swimming. But the octopus just snatched that bitch outta the water and then drowned it. Damn.

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Posted by: Brad Pitt at July 18, 2011 9:02 AM