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Three More Years of Don Draper And "Mad Men"? Does That Mean We Get Disco Hamm?!?!

By Joanna Robinson | Posted Under Pajiba Love | Comments (24)



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My gifted gourmands, I’m sure by now you “Parks and Recreation” fans have had a chance to play on Tom Haverfoods, but you might maybe not have seen Ben & Jerry’s Ron Swanson ice cream. (Pleated Jeans)

Delightful. I’m guessing, however, that the participants in Naked Bike Ride Day have been laying off the B&J. There is only a thin layer of body paint keeping these photos SFW, so click with caution. Also, NAKED BIKING? Ouch. (Boing Boing)

Speaking of things I wouldn’t want to do naked (or clothed for that matter), this Russian diver helps cajole a Beluga whale…only she has to do it naked…because of science or something. These photos are stunning but now I have Raffi stuck in my head. EARWHALE’D. (Daily Mail)

Ahhh, sweet release, this new Britney Spears video drove the Raffi right outta my brain. Listen, she’s autotuned to hell (like Cher in “Do You Beli-e-eve In Life After Love” mated with Daft Punk. See? Hell), but she’s looking pretty cute and sort of sane and there’s a stellar Half Baked reference. So, yeah, I watched the whole thing. Sue me. (Evil Beet)

Don’t sue Tracy Morgan, though. He’s trying really hard to make amends. Whether his participation in this GLAAD event is heartfelt or orchestrated to keep his job, it is nice that Morgan’s making an effort. However, I’m not quite mollified. I’m not saying we should flog him in the marketplace or anything, but there was a LOT of violence in Morgan’s “comedy,” it wasn’t just an “awkward” joke. (Celebitchy)

Awkward Joke Walking, Ms. Sarah Palin, has called it quits on her National Tour of Inventive Historical Retellings. Oh, lady, why do you make it so easy? (Vanity Fair)

Speaking of inventive retellings, there has been a lot of grumblings about Tarsem Singh’s latest project Immortals. Folks are concerned that The Cell director is messing with the mythology. I, for one, am still super excited for the flick (love The Fall) but am a little worried about the Vagina Dentata helm Mickey Rourke appears to be wearing. (Cinemablend)

Speaking of disaster(ous) films, Bob Hoskins claims his biggest regret is the Mario Bros movie. I dunno, Bob, you and Lequizamo are kind of cute in that movie. May I nominate Garfield: A Tail of Two Kitties? (Kotaku)

I was just scrolling through Hamm’s IMDB to see if there was anything I could shame him with. Barring some trashy TV (oh, “Charmed,” why have I seen so many episodes of you?), the man is pretty clean. Three more years of “Man Men” means he’ll be able to keep outta trouble a bit longer. Though, 1973 Draper? Is that Mr. Brady perm and gold medallion Draper? Oh I hope so. (Warming Glow)

Okay, we all know Pandas are jerks, right? But can we talk about birds for a moment? There’s a meme going around, birds with arms, that is supposed to make birds look creepy. Well, as this flickr stream proves, you don’t need no photoshop, birds are just inherently creep. Not convinced? Take a gander at this article. Polly doesn’t want a cracker, she wants your complete and utter submission. (Gawker)

Spider are pretty cool though.
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I find this photo of the Osbournes, Sharon and Ozzy, to be truly mind-blowing. It’s from the late 80’s and it’s not Sharon’s weight that’s shocking (we knew about this), it’s how YUPPIE Ozzy looks. When did he go back to the guyliner? Did MTV make him wear guyliner for his show. WAS THE SHOW A LIE?! IS THERE NO SPOON? (Blame It On The Voices)

Speaking of Le Matrix, Optimus Rhyme sent me this completely useless but totally entertaining site that allows you to type like a hacker. I put on my Sneakers soundtrack (YES I OWN IT) and whispered “too many secrets” while I banged on my keyboard. Immensely satisfying. (Hacker Typer)

Here we have Mr. Tom Hanks on Univision (which is like, muy muy popular, folks). The fact that the adorable Hanks only speaks a leeeetle Spanish and is struggling to keep up with the translator in his ear makes this whole video very awkward. But, because it’s Hanks, it’s charmingly awkward. Also? Man can dance.

Finally, we have one of those typical Joanna videos which might cause you to question my sobriety. I’m SOBER (so far). This video about vibrations is super cool and I hope you stay to the end for the bit with the cymbal. It’ll blow your hi-hat right off.

Joanna Robinson goes crazy when she hears a cymbal and a hi hat with a souped up tempo. Email! Twitter!









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Comments

HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAMM!!

What a delightful photo that is up there. He's all "Bitch, not my fault I'm sex on legs."

And Haaaa! That Ron Swanson ice cream seems delicious. I might have to buy it for MrFig, who loves Scotch. So long as it doesn't really taste like eggs and bacon.

Posted by: Figgy at June 22, 2011 2:13 PM

Difficult to take anything GLAAD-related seriously now, though. That whole AT&T conflict-of-interest kerfuffle. President resigned, six board members resigned, AT&T lobbyist still on the board. GLAAD has some serious image rehabilitation to do itself.

Posted by: Jerry at June 22, 2011 2:13 PM

Did anyone else think the Vibrations thing was going to be, um, something else?

Posted by: BWeaves at June 22, 2011 2:14 PM

Skitz is going to shit a brick when he reads that African Grey Parrot link. He tried to warn us! But we didn't listen! Now what? WHAT HAVE WE WROUGHT?!?

Posted by: Pinky McLadybits at June 22, 2011 2:15 PM

And the Hacker Type is waaaaay fun. Al..most...cracked..the code...

Posted by: Pinky McLadybits at June 22, 2011 2:17 PM

Also, that is a way old Macintosh SE that the panda is throwing around...

Posted by: Jerry at June 22, 2011 2:24 PM

Also: Univision is kind of a fascinating network. Their programming is dedicated almost entirely to three things: gossip shows, telenovelas and variety shows. There's also a News show. The same people who show up on the telenovelas show up on the gossip shows, which are hosted by the same people who host the variety shows, who then show up on telenovelas on 'special appearances', or on other variety shows. Any musical artists are under contract for Univision, and they show up on the three programs above. Their stars also do ads for Univision products, like the Univision credit card! (IT REALLY EXISTS) and do Spanish ads for things like ATT, which I think also owns Univision. Between segments of a show they do little vignettes promoting...Univision.

Basically, the network is like an old school Hollywood Studio. Like MGM in the 40s or 50s. They have massive contracts on these people, which prohibit them from ever showing up on another network, and they have to do anything the network tells them to do.

It's kind of fascinating that something like this still exists today.

Posted by: Figgy at June 22, 2011 2:30 PM

Awkward Joke Walking, Ms. Sarah Palin

*Standing Ovation*

Posted by: Paultera at June 22, 2011 2:34 PM

Did anyone else think the Vibrations thing was going to be, um, something else?

You weren't given excitations? I thought those were some good vibrations.

Oom bop bop.

Posted by: branded at June 22, 2011 2:35 PM

So no "Game Of Thrones" apology?

Posted by: Jay at June 22, 2011 3:17 PM

Of course he can dance. Oakland, represent!!

Posted by: FyreHaar at June 22, 2011 3:23 PM

Yeah, figgy, but it happens in porn, too. Porn studios actually "loan out" their talent the way the old studios used to, though I don't know if porn studios deal with the money in the same way (i.e. charge the rival studio a lot more money for use to the talent than the talent is actually paid for doing the work).

Posted by: Jerry at June 22, 2011 3:25 PM

This gay accepts Tracy Morgan's apology. His comments during his stand-up were absolutely awful, but what he's said since has been exemplary. And he's been on a whole Contrition Tour since then--this Nashville apology being just the latest of a long line of events where he's demonstrated he's sorry. I'm ready to move on.

Posted by: The Wandering Parakeet at June 22, 2011 4:15 PM

I think Tracy Morgan has apologized sufficiently and, at this point, repeatedly.

Posted by: Mrs. Julien at June 22, 2011 5:03 PM

Umm... Unless you were skipping a year between each upcoming season, it would only be 1969, not 1973.

Posted by: Blake Shrapnel at June 22, 2011 5:44 PM

In the photo of Hammy, he's telling a doe-eyed starlet, "It's this big. Think you can handle it?"

(Her role, people. Her role in the new season.)

I was actually hoping you turned up some dirt on him so I could get over my mortifying crush.

Posted by: Stinky at June 22, 2011 7:01 PM

I was in NYC last weekend, eating dinner with my Aunt and Mother. At one point I turned around and John Hamm was standing three feet behind me, in sweats and a 5 O'clock shadow. I quickly turned back around so I wouldn't gawk. He was standing close enough to me that I could have reached out and touched him.

Posted by: DominaNefret at June 22, 2011 11:13 PM

Man. somethingawful.com did the whole birds with people arms in a photohop friday years ago. Too awesome, really.

Posted by: ssarah at June 22, 2011 11:39 PM

ssarah, I'm not sure if you're seriously complaining that you saw one of these links elsewhere or if you're just taking a trip down memory lane...? I'm hoping the latter is the case.

Posted by: SeaKat at June 23, 2011 12:02 AM

psshh everyone knows you should be listening to the Hackers soundtrack whilst typing like a hacker.

Also: "Fruit loops are proud cheerios". Hee!

Posted by: Even Stevens at June 23, 2011 2:15 AM

How the fuck can you not be mollified by Tracy Morgan's apology tour.

Seriously? Fuck you.

Nothing more need be said.

Posted by: really at June 23, 2011 5:22 AM

Joanna, I'm going to start calling you The Bewb Wench, because, well, you know why. And I approve heartily (and possibly with some other body parts.)

Posted by: Uriah Creep at June 23, 2011 5:58 AM

psshh everyone knows you should be listening to the Hackers soundtrack whilst typing like a hacker.

Preferably while watching one particular scene from Jurassic Park. "This is UNIX system. I know this." Because you know all UNIX systems are exactly the same. (And have super weird custom GUIs.)

Posted by: Socrates_Johnson at June 23, 2011 11:20 AM

Thank you so much for sharing!

Posted by: DJ Taylor Made at August 4, 2011 3:34 PM