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This Common Household Item Could Cause Instant Death, but First a Few Links

By Steven Lloyd Wilson | Pajiba Love | January 16, 2013 | Comments ()


2-Anna_Kendrick_Wallpapers_GIRL.jpeg

When I direct my interweb browserator at this website each day, I start to type the name in and then the autofill takes over and I hit enter. Lately I've been hitting enter a half second before the autofill kicks in and so now at least once each day I google search for "paji" and so I've been added to a CIA watch list of militant racists. I'm just warning you in advance that it's possible that just by clicking a bunch of links I've assembled, you are probably a terrorist, and I know that you've already won.

First up, here are some excerpts from letters Alec Guinness wrote about Star Wars: he is a fantastic hybrid of grumpy old man and classy British dude.

Unreality has a round-up of the best female video game characters, which is sadly short. Hannah from "Girls" doesn't make the list because the video game adaptation of Entitled Shits in NYC doesn't come out until next summer. (Judging from yesterday, that oughta be good for at least a few dozen angry comments).

If you've been under a rock, you may not have noticed that everything Benedict Cumberbatch does is awesome. Here he is thanking the Internet for liking him, and then abandoning an interview on the red carpet because he sees Adele and gets excited.

Apparently Anna Kendrick liked Gangster Squad more than most critics did, and in doing so won Twitter forever:

kendrick-twitter-gosling.jpg

Kathryn Bigelow penned an article for the LA Times about torture and Zero Dark Thirty. Because apparently making a movie gives you some sort of qualifications to talk about it. This is the Internet, we don't need qualifications.

And here is a gorgeous set of real photos of real places that look like they are screenshots of science fiction films.

Did you know that there is a group of Ukrainian protestors who specialize so much in nude protesting that they've formed a school for teaching the tactics in Paris? That's the world's most creative way to explain to your parents how those pictures ended up on the Internet after your semester in France, and it's also the world's most confusing protest strategy. "I don't like your evil policies, look at my breasts." Is this supposed to deter dictators?

In other surreality, Val Kilmer has ambitions of making a second career for himself as a one man Mark Twain show. Watch it Iceman, Hal Holbrook is going to cut you.

Have you cried yet today? Well, here is Neil Gaiman eulogizing his recently deceased dog.

This has been floating around a while, but if you haven't seen it, it's new to you. It's the Lord of the Rings retold (via movie screenshots and speech bubbles) as if it was a game of Dungeons and Dragons.

And speaking of Dungeons and Dragons, here is Ta-Nehisi Coates in an excerpt from an upcoming documentary on the seminal RPG talking about how it influenced him growing up:







Are you following Pajiba on Facebook or Twitter? Every time you do, Bill Murray crashes a wedding.


Comments Are Welcome, Bigots and Trolls Are Not


  • Yozie

    My darling puppy just passed on yesterday morning after a few short months together. What terribly perfect timing for that eulogy. Still crying over it.

  • PerpetualIntern

    So sorry to hear that. Losing a pet is losing a family member. Hugs.

  • BWeaves

    Personally, I'm working on an all puppet version of The Lord of The Ring of The Nibelungenthang. No really. I have some cool puppets.

  • Groundloop

    If you decide to use the libretto from Bugs Bunny's "What's Opera Doc?" as your starting point, you have my full and unconditional support.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v...

  • Slash

    Holy crap, that Neil Gaiman link. Now I'm all verklempt at work.

    Something similar happened when my cat died. Vet called and asked me if I wanted him to end her suffering (he said "euthanize."). She was having trouble breathing and I felt like asking him to keep her alive just so I could be there when she finally kicked it would have made me feel like an asshole, so I told him to do it. It was Thanksgiving, too. Before I drove to my mother's house, I had to go pick up my dead cat from the vet. That was kind of a crappy week.

  • Mrs. Julien

    //virtual hug//

  • Gabs

    Oh, no way. I can't read that dog eulogy right now. I'm still at work, and damn it, I have a reputation to uphold, and that's not going to happen if I even think too hard about that link. Especially since tomorrow is the 2 year anniversary of losing my beloved first dog.

    I'll read it tonight and probably cry for an hour.

  • Mrs. Julien

    Is this who we are now? What if Anna Kendrick has to work with Gosling or meets him at a business event. Ew.

  • Imma write some fan-fic about Baby Goose dumping Mendes for Kendrick after reading that sweaty tweet. A girl can dream, right?

  • Slash

    I can actually see Kilmer doing Mark Twain. Hal Holbrook did it for decades. So why not Kilmer? I mean, if Hal's not up to it anymore. He is getting on in years. And Kilmer's Doc Holliday is a classic.

  • F'mal DeHyde

    I'm going to have to find that Cumberbatch vid elsewhere, I started reading the pathetic write-up over at Celebitchy and had to quickly leave before I projectile vomited from all the "Cumbie" this and "Cumbie" that. I guess it could have been worse, she didn't call him BenBen.

  • BendinIntheWind

    So glad to hear someone else loses the quick-draw against the autofill. I am frustratingly familiar with the homepage for Paj Systems, a tech company in southern California.

  • Enrique del Castillo

    My dog is currently very ill and just reading a bit of that Neil Gaiman piece made me tear up...I'll save it to read completely later, since it's not helping my mood right now

  • MissAmynae

    Setting aside all snark to send you hugs and hopes your pup gets better.

  • John W

    Anyone know when the doc for D & D is coming out?

  • SugarSmak

    Oh my God, that Neil Gaiman piece was absoultely beautiful. Reading (and tearing up over) it made me so glad I endured lots of hoop-jumping, frustrating phone calls and emails and a crazy expensive pet deposit in my new place just so I could bring my beloved pooch with me on my post-divorce relocation. Thanks for sharing that.

  • PerpetualIntern

    PerpetualIntern's common sense: "Don't click on that dog link"
    PerpetualIntern: "Shut up, Common Sense, I'll click if I want to!"
    *sniffle sniffle*
    PerpetualIntern's common sense: "Told you so."

  • BlackRabbit

    You can click if you want to
    You can leave your friends behind
    'Cause your friends don't click and if they don't click

    Well they're no friends of mine

  • Fabius_Maximus

    If you like that LotR comic, try Darths & Droids. It retells Star Wars as a RPG session from Episode I on. And yes, it's better than the original.

  • Anna von Beav

    What common household item?

    WHAT COMMON HOUSEHOLD ITEM?!

  • Dragonchild

    Whatever Anna Kendrick brought with her to the "Gangster Squad" screening, duh.

  • Wednesday

    (Shhh...don't tell...it's iced tea. I heard it on the local evening news. Sweet tea will be the death of us all.)

  • MissAmynae

    Well, there goes the South. Y'all Yankees happy now?

  • MissAmynae

    Forgive my bad manners. Saw Django Unchained last night.

  • Too late. Just live the time you have left in blissful ignorance.

  • Anna von Beav
  • Lotney

    That picture just gave me a serious love boner. Hello new celebrity crush.

  • She had previously been like a stealth bomber, randomly popping up on my radar. But with tweets like that Anna Kendrick is officially on my early most bangable list. Love yourself publicly all you want, Anna. We support you.

  • OldSchool60

    ...and the best video game of 2013 is..."Entitled Shits in NYC"

  • Quatermain

    If you don't have the most expensive and up to date controller available, your character won't move, she just stands there and taps her foot and glares at you.

  • Groundloop

    That bug is fixed if you buy the "Williamsburg Wasteland: Twilight of the Hipster" expansion pack.

  • Quatermain

    Does that come with the 3-D Buddy Holly glasses, or do you have to get those separate?

  • Groundloop

    Sadly, not included. As an experiment I was going to pop the lenses out of the branded 3D glasses I got when I saw The Hobbit because irony.

    I'll let you know how it works out.

  • Bert_McGurt

    I love the part where Alec Guinness can't remember who he's working with.

    "...Tennyson (that can't be right)...Ellison (? - no!)... Oh, Harrison Ford - ever heard of him?"

  • Dragonchild

    One other thought: D&D probably makes fun of itself more than any other hobby, all the way
    back to the comics in the official rulebooks themselves. But in all
    honesty, most of the humor comes from the fact that it is
    actually very difficult to do well (but oh the reward is worth it). The
    layman can get equally confused by jargon; is "the standard action of a
    combat round can be exchanged for a move action or move-equivalent
    action but not in place of a 5-foot step" any less confusing than
    "weakside backer has edge contain when 4-3 under is deployed against a spread formation"? But one is D&D, the
    other is. . . football. You know, the most popular sport in the country. If it's the complexity that makes it hilarious, this is the most glaring double standard in all of recreation.

    When D&D is made fun of, frankly it's
    because the level of play is as bad as backyard football. Competitive football spend countless hours learning technique to master a game THEY
    love, but apparently one hobby is for geeks and the other is for idiots.

  • Dragonchild

    Expected Samus Aran at the top of the list of best female game protagonists; was not surprised. It's rather short because the author didn't do any homework. Off the top of my head:

    Alis from "Phantasy Star" (which, incidentally, was designed by a woman)
    Aika from "Skies of Arcadia" (same designer)
    Chris from "Suikoden III"
    just about every female character in "Grandia", and there are many of them
    Celes from "Final Fantasy VI"
    Jill Valentine in "Resident Evil" (the first one)

    Not to mention, Dragon Quest III and IV were two of the earliest games that allowed the player to choose a female protagonist. Action games are as regressive as it gets, but JRPGs have been. . . well, mixed overall, but if you're going to write an article on video game heroines, it's criminally negligent to walk past the gold mine.

  • Robert

    Seriously. There are many great female protagonists that aren't on that list. You went straight for the ones in games they should have played for maximum embarrassment. Taking less popular games into consideration, Eriko from Illbleed and Alexandra Roivos from Eternal Darkness: Sanity's Requiem are also worthy contenders for such a list. Shoot, Dixie Kong and Tiny Kong get their moments in later Donkey Kong Country titles and Princess Peach was one of the original mainstream home console characters in Super Mario Bros. 2.

  • lowercase_ryan

    character aside, because there really is no personality to Samus, but Metroid Prime is the best video game series in the history of ever. yep.

  • Natallica

    I can't help to think that, in the picture of that Val Kilmer news story, Mark Twain looks like he's immensely enjoying a blunt. Or maybe that's my defense mecanism to cope with the tremendous amount of insanity of Kilmer's project.

  • Kballs

    He's been doing this for awhile now. The Twain thing, not the insanity thing. Well . . . yeah, okay, the insanity thing, too.

  • Miss Laawyuhr

    I love fat Kilmer's nuttiness. I want to make cookies together and and talk endlessly about Willow and The Saint, which for those who have not seen it is a totally hilarious and insane movie (and one of the few occasions where there's a special nod of insanity to the wardrobe).

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