Pajiba

I’m very careful about never speaking about politics in my office, because most of my fellow coworkers do not share my views. But I’m making that rainbow New York image my wallpaper. So pretty! And with all the bad news this weekend, we all need a pick me up, right? (Sheesh. What a shit awful weekend. Sigh.)

nothing against you Joanna but i really feel that everyone should refrain from wordplay when it concerns the recently deceased.

people are just too emotional to make the right judgment (can be the writer or the reader) and therefore the best course of action is just to simply avoid it.

But the most important thing about a Dr. Mrs. The Monarch costume can't be gleaned from a picture. Does she have the voice?

I liked that piece Russell Brand wrote. It was very nice and eloquent.

/Borrowing asshole hat-inserting judgemental feather

Because Ryan Dunn was driving 100 MPH on a road where he could hit and kill other people. Essentially he was drunkly piloting a fucking rocket. Quiety dying in your bed is a tragedy-speeding drunkly makes you an asshole who deserves as much mockery/punsihment as possible.

/Anyone else want a hat lightly flecked with the spittle of frothy rage?

if there was a silver lining...at least this particular attack wasn’t orchestrated by an Islamic terrorist group but was, instead, perpetrated by an anti-Islam extremist

How the hell is that a silver lining? I think I know you better, so I'm sure your wording is just off but being anti-Islam doesn't make that piece of shit any less of a terrorist.

being anti-Islam doesn't make that piece of shit any less of a terrorist.

Absolutely, I agree 100%. And I appreciate the benefit of the doubt. What I meant to convey was at least this particular attack won't provide more fodder for the hystercial voices looking to whip up anti-East, anti-brown, anti-Islam fervor. Breivik IS a piece of sh*t, but there were several people salivating at the opportunity to use this tragedy as a flag to wave in defense of further anti-Islam emotion. For example, before all the information was in, there was this piece over at the Washington Post. I've excerpted the "best" bit.

This is a sobering reminder for those who think it’s too expensive to wage a war against jihadists. I spoke to Gary Schmitt of the American Enterprise Institute, who has been critical of proposed cuts in defense and of President Obama’s Afghanistan withdrawal plan. “There has been a lot of talk over the past few months on how we’ve got al-Qaeda on the run and, compared with what it once was, it’s become a rump organization. But as the attack in Oslo reminds us, there are plenty of al-Qaeda allies still operating. No doubt cutting the head off a snake is important; the problem is, we’re dealing with global nest of snakes.”

But, ultimately, as the GOOD article pointed out and as I had hoped I had conveyed, I was wrong, there is no silver lining. None.

The priority of any addict is to anaesthetise the pain of living to ease the passage of the day with some purchased relief. (from the Russell Brand piece)

Being alive is hard and it hurts. For everyone. But some people just seem ...like they hurt more. That, to me, is the saddest thing about this. That Winehouse, and countless other people, famous and non-, hurt so badly that they risk death, and often kill themselves slowly and painfully, in order to alleviate the pain of being alive.

That's why I'm sad about it.

I figured that was what you meant and I could just be misreading. My brain no want worky this week.

Remind yourself how Ryan Dunn had acquired his fame and what talent he possessed. If you're like me, his death was the most famous thing he'd done and his talent was apparently driving very poorly.

I know very little about Winehouse, and wasn't particularly fond of her when she rose to fame. But I did know who she was, and appreciated the fact that from a vocal perspective, she offered something that no other woman could.

I found out about her death yesterday when someone made a joke about it in passing, and for some reason it made me feel very sad. I had just celebrated my 27th birthday the Sunday prior, so perhaps I was sensitive to the fact that she and I were the same age, I don't know. But I still think it's incredibly unfortunate and it stems from the fact that she was talented, wrought with sadness, and clearly very troubled. She was hell bent on self destruction, but as far as I know, was not responsible for the demise or physical harm of anyone other than herself.

Re: Winehouse death/Dunn death.

Speaking for myself, I treat Winehouses death with reverence because I was always hoping for the best for her. Her debut album was exceptional. Her throwback style, her quirky look and good god damn that voice...

And we watched her decay. Every time she entered rehab, I had my fingers crossed that this would be the last time. I wanted her to carry on, keep writing, keep singing, keep sharing her undeniable gift and talent with the world. She was a beautiful, shining star in an industry awash with sterilized, safe, inoffensive, boring soccermom rock. We needed her and more people like her.

Every time she fell off the wagon, I winced. Somewhere, I knew she'd never make it but I never stopped rooting for her.

When I heard that she passed, it was a moment of accepting what I always knew was unavoidable but never wanted to see happen. It was, truly, the very definition of tragedy.

Ryan Dunn? Well, Ryan Dunn was a Jackass.

That sir, is the difference.

Forbiddendonut, I may have stretched it when I said "mocked." But clearly there was a backlash to mourning Dunn's death because A) he was drunk behind the wheel of a speeding car and B) he killed his equally-drunk passenger when he did it.

At the same time, as minamoto states, there's a clear value difference between Dunn and Winehouse: one was a drunken fool who did idiotic things to himself to entertain others and the other was a drunken, drug-abusing artist. I'd rather not get into a valuation/validation of someone's life because of how many fans they got. But it happens.

That said, my problem really is that both of these deaths were preventable in as far as they were foreseeable. That so many laughed them off or ignored them or chose to accept them as part of that person's make up and acted as if they'd never catch up to them is deplorable.

Joanna, did you see that Washington Post journalist is still defending her article? She swears up and down in a follow up article that terrorist has to be attached to Al Queda and anyone who disagrees is the one who has the facts wrong. She's not the only one, as the conspiracy nuts are out in full force.

And yes, the death of Amy Winehouse is a tragedy. It's even more of a tragedy because she did it to herself. There are quite a few British artists we take for granted (including the increasingly popular Adele and lesser-appreciated Duffy) who would have never had a shot at international success if it wasn't for the trail-blazing retro-jazz artist Amy Winehouse busting down that barrier all over the world.

Fredo, the big difference is that Dunn killed someone else who wouldn't have died that night otherwise. Amy only took her own life. And if toxicology comes back and proves that she had a silent heart attack like my junkie cousin who died a few years ago or something else that's actually a natural death and not an overdose, I'll apologize for saying she took her own life.

Sorry I stopped reading at "Felecia Day nekkid..."

Um, guys? Ryan Dunn DID kill someone else that night. His friend, who was a passenger in the car.

"Remind yourself how Ryan Dunn had acquired his fame and what talent he possessed. If you're like me, his death was the most famous thing he'd done and his talent was apparently driving very poorly.

That is quite possibly the most insensitive thing I've read on this site.

Whether or not you realize it, you're essentially dismissing his death because you didn't know who he was, and then you're glorifying his death AS A FUCKING CONTRIBUTION TO SOCIETY. I assume, out of a basic level of humanity, you didn't mean it that way, but the glories of internet commenting make articulation about as easy as putting two cats in a bathtub.

The "Ryan Dunn killed another person" argument is interesting, because it essentially means you're looking at the 2 people in the car vs. the 1 person (Winehouse) that died in her bed. But that does two things;

1) Prescribes none of the blame to the other person in the car with Dunn. Some will say none, some will say someone, and some will say you're as much to blame if you get in that car with him.

2) How do you actually know Amy Winehouse hasn't killed anyone? Not in the murder-stabby sense, but we're dealing with a person deeply entrenched in the drug culture and all of its destructive qualities.

If Amy Winehouse brought a handful of people into her destructive adventures, does that make her more or less destructive than Ryan Dunn? If she took 3 ordinary persons, and involved them and peer pressured them into her way of life, more or less to blame then Dunn? If she "inspired" 100 fans to live like she did, give "chasing the dragon" a go, more or less than Dunn? How many thousands (if not tens of thousands) of dollars does she have to inject into the drug trade in order to share a piece of the blame for the epidemic and its consequences?

Don't draw a line between the two because you see one as "talented" and the other as "a jackass". There are so many complicated shades of grey with this stuff, far too many important pieces of reflection to be considered.

Kudos to Russell Brand. He might be unfunny and annoying, but that was an incredible brave piece to write.

Peanut Gallery, here are the facts.

Ryan Dunn got drunk, got behind the wheel with a friend in the passenger seat, and killed them both by speeding like an idiot.

Amy Winehouse is a drug addict who was found dead in her apartment. She did not stab a needle in someone's neck and was not found with another body in her apartment.

There is no fine line here. Ryan Dunn killed someone else. Amy Winehouse killed herself. If you find the police proof that Amy Winehouse has been dealing coke to other people who have died, then feel free to post it. Whereas anyone with a web browser can find out the details of Dunn's toxicology report and read/see proof that he killed someone else. This isn't a question of who is or isn't talented. This is a question of how someone died and if they stole someone else's life in the process.

I have never said Ryan Dunn's death is not a tragedy. I said I have no sympathy for a drunk driving asshole whose friends decide to systematically target and harass a cancer survivor for tweeting what everyone else was thinking. I have not weighed in on whether or not Dunn's death is a tragedy because I don't care to.

I have said Amy Winehouse's death is a tragedy partially because she was a young woman offered all the help in the world and she couldn't pull her act together. That's a tragedy. Fuck the music. That woman wasted her life away because she could not beat a drug addiction. This should not happen, but it does happen, and it happens every day.

I've lost friend and family to drug addictions. I've also lost friends and family to stupid drunk driving accidents they were responsible for. Guess who I actually have sympathy for? If you guessed the drunk driving jackasses who caused serious harm or death to other people, you just don't get it.

Brand wrote a beautiful piece there. I lost an uncle to addiction. I've seen how it can tear a family apart. Right now, my heart goes out to Winehouse's loved ones. It hurts more than anything to lose someone like that, to feel like you did everything you could to help them and it didn't help one damn bit.

My heart also goes out to the people of Oslo. There's nothing else to say but it's a horrible tragedy and I hope those who were killed are at peace.

On the contrary, I'm seeing a lot of sexism in favor of Amy. It's sad when a chick goes that way but appropriate when a guy does it I guess.

Curt Cobain didn't die of a drug overdose, the idiot blew his friggin head off.

I guess I was talking to the wrong thread earlier.

What's the difference between the meth-addled fuck who steals your plumbing to fuel his habit and the coke-addled twat who can't make her last tour work?

Nothing. But apparently it's everything to some of you. One you'd arrest and send to Arpaio jail forever and the other you'd put on some sad pedestal as testament to how sensitive you are.

What I can't believe is that you're comparing one person's death to another's.

Amy Winehouse vs. Ryan Dunn? Are you fucking serious? Both had fans, both had loving families, and yes, both made poor choices. It was still tragic to have them die the way they did.

Keep your asshole hats. They suit you just fine.

Granted on Cobain, though I too still think it was more psychological than drug-abuse.

And no, addiction is NOT a disease like cancer. You can call it a disease all you like. I agree that it is a disease, to a point.

The main difference being, I didn't set off with a bunch of hipster assholes one day and decide to try cancer. I didn't deliberately shoot cancer into my arm or snort cancer into my nose. I didn't have the weak-ass inability to not "just say no" to cancer. I didn't squander numerous chances to simply quit taking cancer. I didn't have friends pleading with me to stop doing cancer.

So fuck your comparison.

I didn't have the weak-ass inability to not "just say no" to cancer.

Well, goodie for you for being fucking perfect. KUDOS.

I've lost one uncle to addiction and I have at least one other who looks like he's headed down the same path. It's not easy and there's no simple solution. Her death is a tragedy.

I'm glad that you clarified that the headline wasn't meant as a joke, JoRo. I've seen about 20 people on Facebook making comments akin to "surprise, surprise" and then posting that line from Rehab as if they're congratulating themselves on their cleverness.

(I promise you, being clever was the last thing on my mind. I'm really, genuinely sad about her death.--JR)

Lennon....I mean god damn it. Seconded? Or...how ever many people have agreed'd. Just perfect.

Of course, Mrs. Julien! Otherwise we won't know who we're allowed to mourn, you silly billy!

I agree with my namesake, and I'm suddenly much happier about the fact that I have too much work to do most of the time to comment or discuss things on this page (not saying I work more than others - I just procrastinate in other ways).
I DO think that addiction is a disease, and we should sympathize with people who are unable to control their lives. In most cases, they're not evil human beings, just self destructive.
I think drunk driving is among the stupidest things one can do, but when you end your life that way, I think you've already paid the ultimate price for your act... of course, if you kill an innocent bystander while doing so, it becomes something that's hard to forgive. I still wouldn't call the person a 'murderer'. Ryan Dunn's friend wasn't an 'innocent bystander'. He was equally culpable for what happened. He wasn't forced into the car (as far as I know); he didn't stop Ryan from driving nor did he get out of the car himself, knowing that Ryan was drunk. I think, depending on whose car was parked outside, either one of them could have been driving...

And my thoughts are with Norway and everyone affected - my heart breaks even thinking about it.

"What I can't believe is that you're comparing one person's death to another's.

Amy Winehouse vs. Ryan Dunn? Are you fucking serious? Both had fans, both had loving families, and yes, both made poor choices. It was still tragic to have them die the way they did.

Keep your asshole hats. They suit you just fine.

I can't believe it took that many comments for SOMEONE to say this. Thank you, Sofia. I'm with you 100%

Yeah, it really was a shitty-ass weekend.

Some guy here (Dallas area) shot and killed 5 people at a skating rink, and then himself, making his kid (who was having a birthday at the skating rink) an orphan. So that was the big news here, that overshadowed (believe it or not) the awfulness in Norway. That and the football crap.

I am somewhat saddened about Amy Winehouse. What a waste of talent. What's most sad is how unsurprising it was. If she had gotten into a car and driven head-on into a family and killed them all, then it'd be sad because she killed innocent people and few would be expressing sympathy about her death. That's the difference. Context. It matters. That Jackass guy killed himself AND another person. You lose sympathy when your essentially self-inflicted manner of death causes the death of others through no fault of their own. You can have a problem with that if you want, but you're not gonna get a lot of people to back you up.

Ah..."the disease". You have cancer, you seek treatment, you have an addiction, you seek treatment. And if you don't, it becomes a choice, a choice that hurts more people than just yourself.
That said, I'm sad for Amy Winehouse. Very few people are blessed with that talent. I wish I could sing like that, I'd appreciate it every day.

Protoguy, you need to borrow the hat from Mrcreosote and Fredo. It's going to suit you much better.

Cobain had a serious drug habit and yeah, he took those drugs to try to hide from severe internal pain. THAT'S WHY PEOPLE DO DRUGS, SELF-INJURE, ALL OF THAT. It's not for fun, it's not because it's cool. It's because it takes away the pain of living, whether it's for 15 seconds of 15 hours, life is worth living in those moments. Without the drugs, someone in that much pain can't really see the reason for living. If you've never been that low, good for you. If you have, you know what I'm talking about. Addiction takes many, many forms and all of them are equally deadly. If you think it's all fun and games, go find a reformed drug addict/alcoholic/cutter/whatever addiction you chose and ASK THEM. It's a disorder and it's absolute hell to survive for everyone around them, especially the families and those who care.

When Cobain ate the business end of a 12 gauge, he had enough heroin in his system to kill a moose. If the gun wouldn't have killed it, it's pretty likely that that overdose attempt, which was his second or third, would have done the job. Was I just as sad about his death as Winehouse? Yeah, I was. That doesn't make things any less sad. I'm still sad about either of them when I listen to their music. I'm still sad about Layne Staley, former Alice In Chains frontman who died of a heroin overdose. It's STILL SAD FOR SOMEONE when a person dies, whether you agree with it or not, whether you think it's stupid or whatever, someone is still hurting behind the scenes. Mocking someone's sadness over something just makes you seem like the fool.

Mrs. Julien, so glad to see you here. As I scrolled through the comments, I thought, "Oh dear, here we go again." We seem to be having the same row every few weeks. Were we not cautioned to (try to) think before posting? And certainly, there should be no posting under the influence (as I am prone to do).

Amy. Broken, destructive, damaged, doomed. Still shocked that we never married.

I can't believe some of the comments here today.

I hope your self-righteous judgments of addicts and of the people who sympathize with their problems keep you warm at night.

It's difficult to express any surprise over Amy Winehouse's ultimate outcome. I think for the majority of us out here it was just a matter of when, where and how much of whatever. I don't really feel sorry for her personally so much as I do for her family who on several occasions open acknowledged her problem and even going so far as to predict this very demise was likely to happen. Nobody wants to see their child die and they certainly don't want to see them decay over a long period of time either- especially by their own hand.

And this is where my lack of sympathy comes into play. Ms. Winehouse had throngs of people telling her daily she needed to get help (I'm sure there were a number of others who encouraged her otherwise but that's another discussion). As an adult it was her choice to get involved in the first place, it was her choice to let it escalate, and it was her choice to let it spiral out of control to the point where it became increasingly difficult if not seemingly impossible to pull out.

This is not by any means equivalent to someone who gets an involuntary disease or is involved in a freak accident. This was the result of repeatedly making the same bad choices over and over again to the point where it became habitual and easier than breaking the cycle. Nobody put a gun to her head and made her do this, she got into this on her own, and despite help offered by others it would have to be her decision to get herself out of this mess and get the help she needed. Sadly despite a few alleged efforts she never did. The only real tragedy is that this was preventable.

Ms. Winehouse was blessed with a natural sense of music and a voice others would have to work far harder to achieve. One can only speculate how far her career might have gone had she made wiser choices and treasured all she had instead of squandering it.

The word "choice" keeps getting thrown around like it absolves you all of being fucking dicks.
(not specifically aiming this comment at you Bleujayone)

There is a choice AT FIRST. But there is also a lot of pain.

Look, until you experience it first-hand or view it through the lens as a caring friend or family member, you have no goddamn clue about drug/alcohol addiction. Commenters here have shown very, very ugly sides of themselves today.

I honestly thought I had a lot in common with many of them, and now I'm re-evaluating.

http://youtu.be/xRSQcbNBPiY

Amy on Never mind the Buzzcocks. Even at her worst she had a sense of humour and a lot of spirit.

...and as usual, a spambot puts it all in perspective for us.

Ah..."the disease". You have cancer, you seek treatment, you have an addiction, you seek treatment. And if you don't, it becomes a choice, a choice that hurts more people than just yourself. -kirbyjay

F*CK that. Drug addiction is when one loses choice in whether they keep taking the drug. An addict's brain (you know, that thing that determines who you are...the thing that shapes your reality...the big squishy thing that allows you to make choices) is most decidedly sick.

The fact that some addicts DO recover is astonishing. Even those with the brief clarity to seek help (or have help forced upon them) will statistically go back out and die.

I promise that people more intelligent, more empathetic, prettier stronger and faster than you have died and will die of their addictions.

Ugh...This one hits personally. You want to see a f*cking miracle, go to an AA meeting and find out who these people were and who they are.

Maybe it's because my disgust and derision outweighed my sympathy. Maybe it seemed disingenuous because it was coupled with outrage that people seem to want to martyr Amy because she was pretty and talented rather than vilify her with the same brush they might your run-of-the-mill drughead waster. I don't know.

I do know that I do have sympathy for her and for her family. If it makes you feel better to pick and choose what part of my comments you want to focus on to elevate yourselves, fine.

I don't know how to put this that won't be taken as superior or blind or self-satisfied or "perfect". I'm an old guy. I grew up in Miami. In the 80's during the coke rush. One of my friends sold coke on the school bus in 6th grade. The stoners would gather a block from school, in sight of the school, and smoke joints until the bell rang. We did quaaludes until Nancy banned methoqualone. I have done every drug I could find except heroin, every drug I've ever wanted to do with the exception of peyote. I drank through high school and art school. I did them all because I wanted to, not because I was hiding or hurting or needing to not feel or feel or cover something. I did them because I wanted to. It was fun. I wanted the experience. I wanted to live my life able to say I tried it. Name it, I've done it.

I did them with people who were doing the same as me. I can't speak to other's motivations, but every person I did drugs with seemed to be doing them because it was fun. Because they wanted to. I've done drugs with people who enjoyed showing others how you're supposed to do it. Who loved it when a virgin wanted to try it for the first time. Not to corrupt them, but to welcome another into the fold. To the cause. It wasn't dark and seedy and creepy. It was fun. Most of the time. I had a neighbor who used to give me and my ex eight balls because he was cool like that. Not to get me to buy more. I never bought a gram. I know people who grow who want to share their crop because they're proud of it.

I've also done drugs with people who clearly should not do drugs because they were obviously going down and going down fast. They even talked about how they gave up this or that to keep doing them and said so without remorse or ennui or tragic tears. They liked drugs. You don't quit until you want to.

Maybe I'm lucky and don't have that magical addiction gene people talk about. Maybe I'm strong and have a better grasp of what I want. Maybe it is all about the psychology and there isn't something missing from my childhood I'm trying to make up for or the fact that I have great parents who are still married and loving. I don't know. Maybe because I took every drug I could find and nothing stuck, nothing "took hold" of me enough to get me addicted I simply can't understand what addiction really is. It wasn't for lack of trying.

I do know my life has not been perfect or fun or easy. I'm divorced. I was in divorce and custody proceedings for longer than the nine years I was married. My ex-wife was a drunk who lost custody of her only daughter because she chose her scumbag husband over her own child. I've had a business partner who embezzled everything and threatened to kill me and my whole family. I've lost everything at least 3 times in my life. I'm unemployed and living 2000 miles from my family and my daughter, trapped in this shitty ass red-state on welfare that might end any day because politicians are assholes. And not to beat the same dead horse, I have stage 4 cancer.

So maybe I just don't get it. Maybe I can't understand how easily or readily some people can destroy themselves so completely and clearly, willfully and have so many people so willingly remove any and all responsibility for their own choices and call it a disease. Act like that person had no choice in the matter and oh it's so sad that they were unable to help themselves. I just can't swallow the tired myth of helplessness. I can't sit back and look at my life and my choices and think, I was just lucky, not smart or strong or even just not stupid. I think we're growing a culture where no one ever needs to be their own person and take responsibility for their own choices, hard or easy. I think we're growing to be a bunch of pussies who play this game where we can do anything we like and it's always someone else's fault, some drug or some company or some god.

But hell, I could be wrong.

Posting from my phone so apologies in advance for any mistakes.

There is also te reality that drugs themselves have changed and become more potent. Protoguy, I am very happy go you that none of those drugs you took put a monkey on your back. Not everyone is the paragon of brain chemistry that you seem to be.

Coming from a family of addicts (2of whom are not in recovery) I get to have the oh so special point of view that choice has very little to do with addiction but can play an integral role in recovery. But my main issue is wit commenters who are making a mockery of the entire situation as if she weren't worthy of grief because of her drug addiction and that we are foolish to feel bad. And why? Because she didn't die of a "real" disease like cancer? Give me a fucking break.
Do we feel less grief if someone who was addicted to smoking dies of lung cancer? No, we are sad for te loss of the person.

My disenchantment with most of the commenters is on a basic level where there seems to be a lack of compassion. Yes, there is also such thing as personal responsibility, but where does that end and full-blown addiction begin? With my brother, it took one pill of oxycontin. One. And the spiral began there. Never mind my mother. I won't even begin there.

This comment is a mess of ideas, so apologies...here's hoping my phone will post it because if it's lost, I am not retyping!

Everyone's experience of life is different.

bleujayone said "Ms. Winehouse had throngs of people telling her daily she needed to get help (I'm sure there were a number of others who encouraged her otherwise but that's another discussion)."

It's really not another discussion if the topic is choice. And the topic here really seems to be the addict's choices. I guarantee you that for every concerned loved one who tried to help, there were a throng of leeches enabling her behavior for their own sick ends. The Road Manager may be trying his best to keep her in the green room with the healthy snacks and the bottled water, but there are a hundred other runners/ groupies/ amateur local crew fucks who just want a chance to party with a rock star. And you can't chain her in the green room. Once the tour is over and she's back at home, the problem gets worse, because there are even fewer wet nurses around in real life. But the leeches are always thirsty. Your non-celebrity addict has a glimmer of hope for sobriety. But there's so much working against the rock star addicts that it's a wonder ANY of them ever make it. (I confess I know very little about movie stars, but I assume the situations are similar.)

I hope you're at peace now, Amy. You had a helluva voice!

Also (and this almost seems like it's on the wrong thread) - stay tuned for Halloween, Joanna, and I will show you a truly awesome River Song costume!

And just to be clear, I don't think anyone's an idiot for mourning her.

I'm sorry if my attitude offends you. I don't mean to minimize your family's suffering. I don't know what she really did or said, that's true, I know what her family and friends said to the media.

My own life and that of my daughter's has been seriously affected by alcoholism. I also know that once those people decided for themselves that they needed to stop, they did. My grandfather never did because he didn't see a reason to. My ex-wife did, but too late to salvage what relationship she might have had with her daughter (though admittedly, alcoholism wasn't what destroyed that). My best friend is struggling with his own addiction as we speak, and I can see how hard it is for him. But I can also see that he doesn't really want to quit, or see why he should. He still enjoys it, as I would still be if I hadn't been diagnosed. I didn't need cancer to tell me to quit, but it was a damn good motivator. It didn't cause it, but I'm not looking to lower my chances for recovery.

Like I said, maybe I just don't understand it at a fundamental level because I "can't" become an addict, whether it's choice or genes or god. But I do feel as though this absolution of responsibility is a greater enabler than any hanger-on, sycophantic leech or even friends with the same habits.