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These Slap Shots Need More Hanson

By Joanna Robinson | Posted Under Pajiba Love | Comments (45)



Hansons45.jpeg

How would you prefer I judge you, Pajibans? Based on the things your home state is crap at? Or based on the crap food you guys eat? Oh, Minnesota, it’s not enough that you fry your food, you have to put it on a stick?

Speaking of fried foods, my little gizzards and giblets, I love my chicken, put nothing above my chicken, but I will not eat anything that Flavor Flav had a hand in making. Seriously, that fellow has ALL the diseases. (CNN)

All the while I was reading this article on the science of parallel universes my brain kept piping up with, “Oh, like ‘Sliders,’ right? Remember that episode where the Golden Gate Bridge was green?” And I got very frustrated with my brain and screamed, “Shut UP, I’m trying to be classy and understand science.” But, no, my brain is very Jerry O’Connell obsessed. That’s why I work for Pajiba and not NASA. (NPR)

Here’s an insider tip, if you’re looking to bed an English Major (that’s me!), whisper sweet antiquated terminology in his/her ear. Do I want to slam like a dunny door in a gale? You know it!! (11 Points)

One of my favorite tricks “The Daily Show” pulls off is using video evidence to expose hypocrisy. In this clip, Stewart and his crew do a sort of Godwin’s Law analysis of Fox News. (Mediaite)

One thing I’ve learned about you Pajibans is that you love your typography. Here’s a clever blog where they look at fonts and their use in advertising and publications. I found it totally fascinating and I’m not half the nerd you guys are. If I had a typography blog, I would call it “I Shot The Serif.” No one would read my blog because I would just talk about font puns all day. (Fonts in Use)

As much as you all seem to love typography, I love graphic design. I can’t decide which of these posters to put up in my super grown-up room. The one with the booze? The one with the glasses? The one with the hoverboard? Or the one with the prosthetics? I won’t lie, I’m leaning towards hoverboard.

You know Angry Black Lady, frequent commenter, hash tag enthusiast and award-winning blogger? Well she’s not always angry, sometimes she spreads the love. Here she exhibits some Happy Black Lady Love for this cool cello rendition of Michael Jackson’s “Smooth Criminal.” While you’re there you should read her other, more serious posts, if you haven’t already. (Angry Black Lady)

I initially watched this video because the editor used the same exact joke in the title as I did last week when pondering what I would knit in order to impress Colin Firth. Gloves, Actually!! This editor is obviously my soulmate. Call me, samseed85, I’m in the book. As for the rest of you, enjoy these cinematic slaps.

Joanna Robinson would also knit The Importance of Being Earmuffs and A Single Mitten. Colin Firth will be mine…oh yes. If you have his home address and hand size, won’t you please email it to godtopuswept@gmail.com?









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Comments

I know jack about physics, but from what I've heard string theory is very controversial. There are a lot of scientists who say it hasn't produced ANY real results or explained anything to satisfaction. So if this guy's basing a lot of his "parallel worlds" stuff (which I tend to think is nonsense) on string theory I'd be suspicious.

Posted by: Todd at January 25, 2011 1:27 PM

Aw, man. He left out Rod Steiger slapping around those punks in the garage in "In The Heat of The Night." Nonetheless, that was excellent slapping.

Posted by: Tracer Bullet at January 25, 2011 1:35 PM

I hope I'm happier in a parallel world.

Posted by: fenchurch at January 25, 2011 1:38 PM

Put it this way; there is a type of theoretical physicist who uses pretty maths to come up with cool but completely hypothetical ideas about what the universe (and possibly other universes) might be like. Kinda like philosophers with calculus. These sorts of things are mostly just "what if" thought experiments with no evidence whatsoever to back them up and no way to test them. Some of us in the scientific community (*cough cough*) consider string theory to fit that description. The new Hadron collider might provide some evidence of it, but I for one wouldn't bet money on it.

Posted by: dr. pisaster at January 25, 2011 1:40 PM

Yay! It's the actual scientific community!! Accept no substitutes!

Posted by: coveredinbees at January 25, 2011 1:43 PM

Leslie Nielson for the slap win.

Posted by: BWeaves at January 25, 2011 1:53 PM

I love our new Link Wench.

Posted by: Figgy at January 25, 2011 2:02 PM

If I had a typography blog, I would call it “I Shot The Serif.” No one would read my blog because I would just talk about font puns all day.

Do typographers have to deal with rogue factions like "The Arial Nation" and their discrimination against bolder fonts?

Posted by: branded at January 25, 2011 2:02 PM

Booze or Back to the Future

Posted by: PyD at January 25, 2011 2:02 PM

“I Shot The Serif.”

...but I swear it was in Comic Sans?

Posted by: pissant at January 25, 2011 2:03 PM

“I Shot The Serif.”
I would totally read that blog.

Posted by: badkittyuno at January 25, 2011 2:07 PM

Hound of the Baskerville Old Face

Ich bin eine Berlin Sans FB Demi

I'll have a pint of Goudy Stout

Posted by: PaddyDog at January 25, 2011 2:11 PM

What size jumars do you need to traverse csomic strings?

Posted by: The Wanderer at January 25, 2011 2:11 PM

*cosmic*

Sorry ...

Posted by: The Wanderer at January 25, 2011 2:12 PM

Where was Baby Powder?!

Posted by: Sean at January 25, 2011 2:13 PM

Corruption and tomatoes. Thank you, Tennessee. Always a stand-up state that loves their tomato sandwiches.

Posted by: Staceygarrett at January 25, 2011 2:22 PM

Hell yeah, Nerdiest state! Take that Washington, with your beastiality.

Posted by: Blank at January 25, 2011 2:23 PM

Wait, Illinois just says "robbery". Are we the worst at robbery (we mess up the most robberies and get caught) or the worst in terms of being robbed (i.e, there are more robberies here than anywhere else)?

Posted by: PaddyDog at January 25, 2011 2:28 PM

You have to love that Utah has the highest rate of porn subscriptions in the country.

Posted by: PaddyDog at January 25, 2011 2:33 PM

To Helvetica And Back
Attack, my Minion Pro

Posted by: Tracer Bullet at January 25, 2011 2:36 PM

Agreed, Paddy. The Utah porn subscription thing is just... weird. I mean, I'm not saying I disbelieve that all those Mormons are really into kinky shit, but I'm surprised that they would obtain it through traceable or measurable means.

Posted by: MM at January 25, 2011 2:37 PM

California: we get air pollution and grapes?

Well, what you call "air pollution" us native Californios call "haze"...especially in August in our valleys, when we choke on the fumes, it's just "summer haze". Yes..SUMMER HAZE.

Grapes? meh...I think we should be known for avacados, or more precisely,guacamole...served with chips and frosty margaritas...ole!

Posted by: lil_a at January 25, 2011 2:48 PM

I interpreted the grapes to equal wine, which is like margaritas only teeth stainier.

Mmmmm, wine.

Posted by: coveredinbees at January 25, 2011 2:52 PM

Friends, Times New Romans, Countrymen, lend me your ears.

Posted by: coveredinbees at January 25, 2011 2:52 PM

MM:

I'm guessing they think online is more cover-uppable than having Hustler delivered to the door. Hypocrisy is a wonderful thing.

Posted by: PaddyDog at January 25, 2011 2:53 PM

That’s why I work for Pajiba and not NASA.

Their loss, our gain.
Seriously, your Pajiba Love pages are sublime.

Posted by: Simon at January 25, 2011 3:01 PM

The best part about those dueling cellists is that they look like Sam and Dean from Supernatural.

Posted by: Marcela at January 25, 2011 3:22 PM

Well, if you blur your eyes a little. It's more for your own benefit. You can imagine yourself as the cello.

Posted by: Marcela at January 25, 2011 3:23 PM

No one would read my blog because I would just talk about font puns all day.

I some how doubt that.

Arial Acrobatics
Curiouser and Courier

Posted by: L4NkYb at January 25, 2011 3:35 PM

If you like the antiquated sexual terms, The Word Museum is for you.

http://www.amazon.com/Word-Museum-Remarkable-English-Forgotten/dp/0684857618

"If you don't like antiquated sexual terms, you're all just a bunch of Nat-zis!"
--Enzo Gorlami

Posted by: Mrs Smith at January 25, 2011 3:44 PM

Obviously, there's enthusiasm for font puns. I think you've underestimated your marketability, Ms. Joanna Bobanna.

I submit: Back to the Futura

I really wish I could think of one for WingDings, but I'm not clever enough.

Posted by: MM at January 25, 2011 3:44 PM

So the worst they could come up with for Hawaii was cost of living?

Louisiana drinks your milkshake. But only if it has penicillin in it.

Posted by: No Pithy Name at January 25, 2011 3:48 PM

American Gothic (Damn, that was obvious)
Optima Prime

Posted by: Tracer Bullet at January 25, 2011 3:53 PM

I really wish I could think of one for WingDings, but I'm not clever enough.

We never really quite got it going but my friend and I started a band called the Wingdings. I made a logo that was Wingdings spelled out in wingdings.

Also:
On the Wingdings of an Angel
The Long and Wingding Road?

Posted by: L4NkYb at January 25, 2011 3:54 PM

I love "To Helvetica and Back". Please give Tracer a prize.

Posted by: PaddyDog at January 25, 2011 4:00 PM

Musical:
Ohhhh, Tahoma!
Where the Wins (2000, XP) come sweeping 'cross the screens.

Phil Collins:
In the Arial Tonight

Posted by: Rykker at January 25, 2011 4:08 PM

love the slap video. left off scarlett o'hara slapping prissy though...

Posted by: maxpurr9 at January 25, 2011 4:08 PM

Yae Hanson Brothers! and Boo Hanson Brothers. yes, I am conflicted. As life long Hockey fan who loves the game for its incredible skill -it is the only sport that requires the all around athleticism of a Barry Sanders, the strategy and team work of Magic Johnson’s Lakers, the physicality and toughness of a Ronnie Lott, the endurance of a David Beckham, with the natural precision of a Tiger Woods-IF you put all those bad boys on two thin blades of steel, less padding than a football player and a field of ice- as just such a life long fan of this game,
I love hockey movies, and any reference to them but deplore the violent stereotype of of the past and of course the Brothers Hanson. sigh.

Posted by: JuiceinLA at January 25, 2011 6:08 PM

Haha, that 11 Points Article was one of my faves too.

Posted by: EJ at January 25, 2011 7:24 PM

Flavor Flav chicken! Come on people! Who wouldn't want to eat that?

I work in that small-town in Iowa and I'm so embarrassed to see that the reason we are on CNN.com is for Flavor Flav. I guess it's better than being there for some murder rampage or a huge meth bust. Barely.


Posted by: abijah at January 25, 2011 10:22 PM

I like the new links, but um, I kinda miss the celebrity gossip.

Posted by: The Pink Hulk at January 25, 2011 11:08 PM

I would like a sprinkling of celebrity gossip myself. Not the Lohans or the Speidis, but something fun to dish about.

Posted by: Figgy at January 26, 2011 12:02 AM

What? WHAT? There is a poster of prosthetics in film, and no mention of the Fugitive? For shame, interwebs.

Posted by: thecreepingkid at January 26, 2011 12:12 AM

Berlim é um lugar muito atraente viagem com muitas atracçoes turísticas como a Alexanderplatz, da Universidade Humboldt, Estádio Olímpico, o Portao de Brandenburgo, Museu Bode, Museu Egípcio, o Museu de História Natural, Potsdamer Platz, Fernsehturm (torre da televisao), Berliner Dom, a Catedral, Checkpoint Charlie ...

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