There's More than One Way to Skin a Cat ... Or Just Turn Your Dead Cat Into a Helicopter

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There's More than One Way to Skin a Dead Cat ... Or Just Turn the Damn Thing Into a Helicopter

By Dustin Rowles | Pajiba Love | June 4, 2012 | Comments ()


As you know, the MTV Movie Awards were last night, and as always, the best part about them is the next day fashion rundown from the Fug Girls. I didn't realize that Toilet Paper cozies were back in style! (GoFugYourself)

Rachel Weisz really hates complainers, which kind of makes her a complainer about complainers, right? I mean, come on, lady! You're married to Daniel Craig! What do you have to complain about? Then why do you keep complaining about complainers! Jeez. (Celebitchy)

Scale of 1 to 10, people. How erect does the new "Breaking Bad" poster make you? (WG)

The GQ Villainous Actor Profile series not only gives due to a lot of fantastic character actors, but we now know what King Joffrey looks like without the "Game of Thrones" garb. Here he is in the natural form. *shivers*(Unreality)


This is a sweet heart-warming story about how the gay Green Lantern basically ended the homophobic One Million Moms organization, which was really more like 5 assholes from Texas with a Facebook page. (The Superficial)

Ranylt passes along the unfortunate news that Mr. Trololo has passed away, dying of a godtrollolo stroke. (Ottawa Citizen)

Richard Dawson also passed away. SHOW ME, HEAVEN. (WashPo)

Look, man! Donald Trump CAN'T be racist. He has a black employee and of course, that's the surest sign of not-being-a-racist-racist. (Videogum)

I never thought of it that way, but yes, I can see it now: 7 Ways that Waiting for a New James Bond is like Waiting for a new Woody Allen. (TheFilmExperience)

Now THIS, folks, is how you write an apology. Jason Alexander apologizes for calling cricket gay sport. (Buzzfeed)

They've already filmed the damn thing and I'm still skeptical about the chances that World War Z actually exists. The latest news? Brad Pitt's movie is going back for HOW MANY WEEKS OF RESHOOTS? That's like, reshooting the entire thing, right? (Slashfilm)

Here's your first look at Iron Man 3: SPOILERS. Oh, wait. There's no spoilers here at all, just some Iron Man suits. (FSR)

Can you name the top 13 selling candies in America? I totally guessed right on number one because my blood consists of 32 percent candy shell at all times. (Mental Floss)


The brilliant Mike Ryan addresses 8 Things He's Still Confused by in Snow White and the Huntsman, like what was the Huntsman doing in that final scene? He could've at least winked. (HuffPo)

I heard about this on NPR this morning: Fifth-grader skips school to see President Obama speak, gets an absentee note from President Obama. Sometimes, 'MURICA doesn't have to be an ironic statement, after all. (Uproxx)

As John Gholson remarked, THIS is the opposite of LOLcat (also, terrifyingly hilarious and offensive and tasteless and don't click if you're a cat lover and I'm sorry for including it as a header image but Alison Brie apparently took the weekend off). (Daily Mail)

With my sincerest apologies, there's also a video.

Mindhole Blowers: 20 Facts About Serenity That Might Make You Crave a Fruity Oaty Bar | 5 Shows After Dark 6/4/12

Are you following Pajiba on Facebook or Twitter? Every time you do, Bill Murray crashes a wedding.

Comments Are Welcome, Bigots and Trolls Are Not

  • What? Not a single Heli-Vets crack? A Ranylt's work is never done, sigh.

  • Ziver

    I tried so hard to avoid seeing that cat image, I'd heard about it and now I can't unsee it. I am sad  Dustin that you put it as the header pic :(

  • F'mal DeHyde

    The disrespect shown to an allegedly beloved deceased pet literally makes me feel nauseous.  

  • Lauren_Lauren

    I can't unsee that cat image, Dustin.  My pants are sad.

  • John W

    That flying cat would make a great companion to Samberg's laser cats. Hollywood get on it.

  • Tracer Bullet

    I refuse to believe than any self-respecting homosexual would wear Scott's utterly ridiculous costume.

  •  Feh. Honestly, after The Avengers I'm not very interested in seeing solo movies from any of them anymore. Except Thor, obviously, but that's mostly because of the shirtlessness.

    I just love the interaction between each character. I feel like Iron Man won't be as much fun without all the mocking of Bruce Banner and Thor's curtain cape.

  • Geena Phillips

    July 15, huh? Maybe that's time enough for AMC and DISH Network to work out their current pissing match.

  • lowercase_ryan

    ok so my day is running long and my attention span short, probably not the best time to take the candy quiz since I want all of it but two observations/protests;

    1) a dove bar is GD ice cream is it not?!?!?

    2) twizzlers SUCK! Red vines, sure, but twizzlers are an embarrassment to licorice and even to candy as a whole. Swedish fish have more flavor you jack holes. 

  • Anne At Large

    I believe they mean a Dove chocolate bar?

  • Jezzer

    You shut your whore mouth.  Twizzlers are wonderful.  >:(

  • lowercase_ryan

    spoken like an unfortunate soul who's never had a red vine. True story: my dog will eat cat poop but not twizzlers.

  • Anna von Beav

    That's because dogs are DISGUSTING.

  • lowercase_ryan


  • BWeaves

    1.  I shouldn't find the helicat funny, but there's something about the look on its face that is killing me.

    2.  That little crocheted Cumberbatch looks exactly like him.  I think it's the beady little eyes.

  • John G.

    Because of the new comment section, I'm experimenting with different logins, so that I can use the name I want.  It's more difficult that I would have thought.

  • randomhookup

    So, now that we know we can do this with a cat, when does the human version come out? No, not a dead human...

  • bleujayone

    Now see that's the problem with the dead cat being made into an RC helicopter.  This will lead onto other...bigger...more grotesque things; I have no doubt some sick asshole from the Deep South somewhere is going to market the latest  in refusingtoacceptdeath technology.

    "Yep, that's right! For just $50,ooo smackers you too can bring new life to your recently deceased loved ones.  Beloved child meet an untimely end? We can dress them up in an angel-white robe, gold plated halo and back mounted helicopter bla...errr..*cough *cough... angelic wings.  Send them lovingly to heaven personally with just a flick of the thumb. Show that even though they're gone, they're still Mommy and Daddy's Lil Angel.

    But wait, THERE'S MORE!!!

    Asshole mother-in-law just kicked over?  Not a problem. For $75 K, we can outfit her on our exclusive "Bat Outta Hell" rig.  That's right, make her into the floating Bride of Satan  you always said she was anyway. Be the house to avoid at Halloween. Who needs a dog for security, you can scare the colon out of any potential burglars. And with the bonus ocular camera implant, you can be your own float security eye in the sky.  Keep Jehovah's Witnesses off your property by having Mother dive bomb them like the Banshee from Darby O'Gill and the Little People. We also have the "Bitch On Wheels" package for those of you who'd rather your not so beloved departed were closer to the ground.  Rush Hour will never be the same again as we outfit them into the ultimate chopper. Orange County Choppers ain't got shit on us! With RC/Cellular technology you can send your dead beat bike into a California Highway police chase for the ages!

    We also have the "Yellow Submarine" package for those of you who want a more entertaining burial at sea. Thanks to our new Rectalprop 3000 we can make anyone into a self propelled Nautilus that even Mark Spitz would envy!"

  • comma

     "Bat out of hell" won't work long term.

    She'll be gone when the morning comes.

  • bleujayone

    If you had a dead flying mother-in-law at you disposal, why would you not wish her gone by sunrise?  I mean unless your goal were to frighten children by making Ma do Maverick-like flybys of the morning schoolbus....I should think the novelty would wear thin after a short while. Best bet is find a landfill somewhere and just nosedive her from 20,ooo feet.

    I'm a ghoul.

  • Sara_Tonin00

    Let's not play the slippery slope game; it's a fallacious syllogism. It's not legal (for the most part) to keep human corpses. However, people have been able to do stupid things to animal corpses, e.g., make footstools, coatracks, rugs; mount heads; wear as stoles...

  • Miss Laaw-yuhr

    I'd love to know what Dr. Asimov had to say  at that talk, BierceAmbrose - I'm a big fan and just generally think the world needs more odd Russians with outrageous 19th century style sideburns.

    As to Lolcatcopter - oh goodness.  I looked into its deadlights.

  • BierceAmbrose

    It started with: "I didn't expect to see you here today." "Why?" "I thought you'd be at the Asimov talk." Hijinks ensued.

    My compatriot and I arrived somewhere in the first half of the talk by lame placeholder guy the first speaker, Jacque Cousteau's kid. Sponsored by the enviro-hand-wringing club of the local minor extension of state-U, they needed some sort of enviro-hand-wringing to justify spending money. Asimov's talk was not even a little bit like that. The Jr. Aquaman did a respectable job knowing as he had to that nobody was there to hear him, and he was about to be completely shown up.

    So, kid in a jacket that don't fit introduces "The guy you're waiting for." The place goes Whedon at Comic-Con & doesn't stop. Up through the chaos waddles this weeble / hobbit. I swear he was pear-shaped. Huge mutton chops, Buddy Holly glasses, and more charisma of the brainy-low-hum type than the entire county population. (Make that four-county region. One county there wasn't much of a threshold.)

    The esteemed Dr. Asimov told a lame-but-funny joke, which in hindsight served as a transition from the frame of "some guy talking" into stories. He told stories about the future. He talked about space exploration. He had tales of all the once-impossible stuff he'd seen invented, and how he'd done some of it. He mostly told the story, in little vignettes, of the life of Isaac Asimov, Russian immigrant son of candy store owners who made a life of the mind, and was immensely pleased with himself.

    It wasn't at all as ponderous as that sounds. You got the impression he was grinning so big his head would split, in part because he was. You got the impression he lived his life wearing that SEG. He was spellbinding to my 3 channels of TV and re-read the same encyclopedia because you're bored (and poor) ears. I was blown away at how he lived never covering up or appeasing anyone. He did pretty much exactly what he wanted, which was think and write and not be bored, and he had a very nice life thereby. He actually touched the world, and was touched by it.

    Over an hour he talked without notes. The audience was rapt - that's the right word: rapt. There were laugh lines, and sad points, and a rhythm to it as he told his stories. I remember not a single anecdote. I remember as he was winding up with his last story I suddenly saw it - the whole talk, each little bit, made an arc of a bigger story. It was the story of people, thinking, understanding, and playing in the world which was full of wonder and essentially benevolent. It was the story of us, and the promise that we can do what we set out to do. It was the story of work, not magic, of earning what you discover, not the chosen one, and of good stuff happening when you try. (I can't imagine him being tolerated on a college campus these days. Not enough irony and gloom.)

    I had never seen talent like that - maybe it's a lie they tell you to keep you trying, I though. Nope. I'd never seen anyone with a life of the mind - maybe that's a lie too. Nope. It exists at all.

    Now, I'm no Dr. Asimov, but I wouldn't be typing on this interwebs had not that distant, desperate, barefoot boy seen that stories of people who live in the world were histories, at least some of them, not myths. So, I decided to take my shot at whatever kind of life I might make. I'm not Dr. Asimov, but I've seen things you people wouldn't believe. Attack ships on fire off the shoulder of Orion. I watched C-beams glitter in the dark near the Tannhauser gate. None of it would have happened had I not snuck in a side door, and stood to hear Isaac Asimov speak.

    Right this instant, literally right now I'm realizing that along with possibilities, that day I started learning that how you are also matters. He was so genuine. It doesn't matter how smart you are. How you show up matters.

    When I learned that Isaac Asimov had died, I was a mess for three days. The news found me on the road in Chicago as a high-priced consultant, working in a company HQ with a man-made duck pond outside - a place he put me as surely as anyone.

    In plain words, it's his fault that y'all have to put up with me.

  • BierceAmbrose

     In case you haven't heard - Ray Bradbury died today.

    Dammit, dammit, dammit, dammit, dammit.

  • Slash

    OMG, the catcopter: couldn't keep from laughing. 

    Does our Defense Department know about this? 

  • Slash

    I was skeptical, but the crochet Cumberbatch is effing ADORABLE.

  • lowercase_ryan

    The more I think about it the more hate that thing with the cat. Aside from the logistics of the conversion from cat to copter would just be fucking gross, I can't stop asking myself who could do this to a pet? It's not a tribute, it's a ploy, a bullshit internet cry for attention. I love my dog more than anything on earth. After she goes the thought of turning her into a toy turns my stomach. Never mind the fact that the cats eyes are OPEN. this alone would reduce me to tears every single time I looked at my former friend. 

    Personally I think this guy is full of it. The article says after a period of mourning he decided to do this. That makes zero sense. Any reasonable period needed to mourn your now dead pet is too long to hang on to it's corpse unless you know what you're doing with it and have a plan.  

  • Guest

    That article doesn't even begin to touch on the oddities and stupidities in Snow White and the Huntsman , but it's still funny.

  • JenVegas

    When I first read a headline about Obama pardoning a student I thought it was going to be about that honor roll girl who got suspended or jail time or whatever for truancy because she was busy taking care of 2 siblings and holding down 2 jobs and still acing all of her classes and missed a couple of days of school. Now THAT would have been cool. Get on that Mr. President. 

  • DarthCorleone

    Yeah, the cat's dead.  There's no cruelty here; it's just an oddity.  However, if some jackanapes opts for trying to turn his living cat into one of those, then we have a problem.

  • Jezzer

    I'm not even going to pretend I didn't burst into laughter the first time I saw the helicat, as horrible as it is.  The picture is just hilarious.  Tell me you can't see that as the movie poster for a really terrible family film.

  • BierceAmbrose

    Well, there's already 2 volumes of "101 Uses for a Dead Cat." Helicopter is not listed. I smell a sequel. (Way funnier is "The Book of Bunny Suicides.")

  • dizzylucy

    That photo of the GoT guy is creepy, but I am all over the Walton Goggins interview.

    Good apology, good apology.
    I got 9 of the 13 candies.  I clearly spend too much time in check out lines.

  • BierceAmbrose

    Anybody else notice that when somebody not Lifetime wants to do a Liz Taylor pic, Ms. Weisz is nearly perfect? To start with her face is the right shape, she owns her hair, and her skin doesn't look like a basket ball cover. Plus, you know, talent.

  • hapl0

    Jason Alexander apologizes for calling cricket gay sport.

    Two down and two more to go. You can do it Seinfeld cast!

    As for Orvillecopter, what are you going to do when the thing crashes and the head comes off? 

  • BierceAmbrose

    Sometimes, ‘MURICA doesn’t have to be an ironic statement, after all.

    Back before the three laws were a glimmer in Dr. Susan Calvin's eye I wrangled a day-pass from prison school to hear Dr. Asimov speak. It changed my whole life.

    They occasionally do stuff that makes sense in the US industrial cog programming and development system. It's always an exception and usually by accident.

  • annie

    I'm happy someone finally understands the three-point apology: 1) Apologize, 2) admit to being a dick, and 3) why it was a dick move.

    I'm far too excited about Cumberbatch finally infiltrating my favorite blog. TAKE IT, PAJIBA. 

  • ShagEaredVillain

    Get to ze choppa!  MEOW!

  • Sara_Tonin00

    Since the cat is dead, no harm, no foul. No stupider than turning it into a purse or something. 

    Jason Alexander...turning an offhand comment into a teaching moment. That's pretty amazing. 

    And that's what World War Z  gets for not filming in Philadelphia.

  • PaddyDog

    That little knitted Cumberbatch is perfect because it has no eyelashes, just like the original...which I find very creepy.

  • io

    Because when your beloved pet dies your first thought is "Let's turn it into a 'copter!"

  • lowercase_ryan

    Costanza +1

  • AngelenoEwok

    Can wait for PETA's reaction to this...

  • anikitty

    Apology not accepted. Retribution expected. Probably in the form of a well placed mouse head or some itinerant spraying. 

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