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The Sooner You Accept Adele As Your Overlord and Mistress, The Easier Things Will Be For You

By Joanna Robinson | Posted Under Pajiba Love | Comments (25)

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Listen, I’ve been at this gig for under a year, but I can say with certainty that in all my weeks and weeks of loving you, Pajiba-style, my most favorite comment section of all time was the hurricane advice left on Friday’s PL. I am so beyond glad that the storm did not cause too much damage, but I’m even gladder to know that should we ever be hit by something more devastating, Pajibans will be ready to drink and make-a-the-love through the whole thing. But please, my dears, f**k responsibly. (GOOD)

But, let’s not forget that people did die this weekend and houses were destroyed. YOU HEAR ME MICHELLE BACHMANN? So please refrain from using it as part of your political agend-ahhh, too late? Okay, go on M. Bach, show your true colors (red, white and batsh*t), I’m SURE the hurricane was a message from God that the left needs to cut back on spending. Oh Glenn Beck agrees with you? Always a good sign. (Think Progress)

Also of note this weekend? The sound and fury known as the VMAs. Listen, I’m not going to go into much of it (because I didn’t watch it) but here are some salient points: 1) Gaga did something she thought was “sensational” but which reminded me of an Adam Sandler movie 2) Beyonce is preggers and announced it onstage by patting her tummy suggestively and waggling her eyebrows 3) Adele is the queen of everything forever and for all time and any of you who are holding out should just admit her inherent supremacy and get it over with. (Celebitchy)

Even though Adele was sliiiiiightly off-key for some of her performance of “Someone Like You,” it went well with the vulnerability and heartbreak of the song. No, honestly, it did. WATCH IT. Anyway, in case you’ve got a relationship that needs ending, some heartbreak of your own to dish out, here are some literary examples to help inspire you to end that summer fling. (Flavorwire)

Because yes, my summer winds, fall is here. There’s a chill in the air and the kids have gone back to school. In honor of the first day of classes, here’s a list of the queerest subjects currently being offered at U.S. Universities. “Biology of Jurassic Park?” Yes please! (Mental Floss)

That JP class is rather lame, actually, because it’s just a straight paleobiology class dressed up to LOOK like it’s related to the Best Film Involving Dinosaurs Of All Time. (Sorry Tree of Life.) Soon all literary classes will be called something like “The Legacy Of Feminism and Twilight” or “The Classic Lovers of History from Romeo and Juliet to Edward and Bella.” Honestly, I hate the world sometimes. If you need me, I’ll be under the stairs with all my books. (Fab)

Maybe I was under the stairs when Armie Hammer became such A Big Deal. I mean, I saw The Social Network, but I didn’t understand why he was suddenly a household name. The incomparable Nathaniel R points out that Armie has been around for awhile now. (The Film Experience)

I don’t have any form of OCD (just look at how this column rambles) but I really dig this German photographer’s series of organizational photography. Check it out. Don’t worry about ze Germans. (Sueddeutsche Zeitung Magazin)
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Is it too harsh to say this duct tape Tron is better than Tron: Legacy? Tough but fair, right?

Finally, my loves, here’s a supercut of the smooth moves of Stephen Colbert. Something to help you shake your groove thang.

Joanna Robinson thinks calling your paper “Sueddeutsche Zeitung Magazin” is redundant. Is she wrong?









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Comments

I just wanted to say that I remember Armie Hammer from when he was the Devil's Son and allegedly Sam's Half brother on Reaper.

Posted by: Pajiba at August 29, 2011 1:21 PM

Whoops, that last one was me. That is what happens when you post distractedly.

Posted by: Nimue at August 29, 2011 1:22 PM

I accept her as my Overlord and Mistress! Eagerly. Perhaps I could draw her a bath, then give her a massage afterward?

Posted by: logan at August 29, 2011 1:53 PM

Hey, Bachmann, I guess we didn't heartily offend God because we were without power for only 18 hours. Bless the gas water heater, gas stove, and generator for the refrigerator (thanks to my multi-grain talented husband). Also bless the local liquor store.

Posted by: DenG at August 29, 2011 2:03 PM

Greetings from 110-degree Texas. Chill in the air my heat-rash-covered ass. ;-P

Posted by: NateS1973 at August 29, 2011 2:06 PM

Joanna, you are an awesome movie critic and you are also hilarious. like HAHAHA, Adele. hahaha. good one.

Posted by: carrboro ninja at August 29, 2011 2:11 PM

I wonder if Beck owns one of those emergency rations companies. Here in the land of Mormon, it's a big business and they advertise by announcing the pending apocalyptic earthquake that's going to kill us all if we don't stock up on food and water.

Posted by: snapnhiss at August 29, 2011 2:12 PM

So...if the hurricane/earthquake on the East Coast was God's punishment for Washington DC's spending issues...what did the poor people in Mississippi, Arkansas, etc. do to deserve the damage unleashed by the spring tornadoes?

Posted by: Sara Tonin at August 29, 2011 2:27 PM

Well, I'm not sure if he owns it, but Glenn Beck endorses foodinsurance.com. Creepy as all get out to me.

Posted by: Bob Frapples at August 29, 2011 2:30 PM

I'm sorry. I accept no false prophets. The only fat Amy Winehouse for me is Lily Allen. No one in the UK tabloids has the nerve to call Adele the "fat" anyone. Lily Allen is in a league of her own. Foul-mouthed like a sailor, classy as a stripper pole, and as unpredictable as the critical response to a foreign horror movie. She's the total package.

Posted by: Robert at August 29, 2011 2:31 PM

Robert, I agree. Also, Lily Allen has never whined about having to pay her taxes which makes me like her all the better.

Posted by: ArmaAngelus at August 29, 2011 2:51 PM

Not JUST whining about paying her taxes, but whining about her taxes paying for public transportation that she can't avail of anymore because she's so famous and rich that she's forced to travel in limos.
That was where I stepped off the Adele fan train for good.

Posted by: PaddyDog at August 29, 2011 2:59 PM

Lily Allen fat?! Bigger than Winehouse maybe, but she's not fat.

Posted by: Sara Tonin at August 29, 2011 2:59 PM

Sara Tonin, the UK tabloids and Katy Perry both made that comment about her. Paraphrase of Katy Perry's comment, "Aha, I’m like a fatter version of Amy Winehouse and a skinnier version of Lily Allen!" Lily Allen really let it get to her head for a while, adding in that she was "shittier" and "ugly," too.

Posted by: Robert at August 29, 2011 3:25 PM

I heard a little bit of Adele covering The Cure, and it was awful, and I stopped there.

Posted by: Jay at August 29, 2011 4:05 PM

Adele has tremendous potential and she's off to a good start, but let's all lukewarm our jets as it's early yet (except for Rolling in the Deep, it's Little Julien's summer jam and he was right in the argument we had about the meaning of the song).

Posted by: Mrs. Julien at August 29, 2011 4:22 PM

Eh, I'll have no master or mistress, but Adele does sing really, really well.

Posted by: Slash at August 29, 2011 6:01 PM

My god. I've never before felt like I could comfortably admit that Adele doesn't do it for me. Everything I read about her lately, in articles and comments sections, is that everyone wants to have her babies. That some Pajiba commenters openly feel differently is such a relief.

Posted by: Amanda6 at August 29, 2011 6:25 PM

Trust me, you're not the only one, he'll most of us in the UK were amazed she had such a strong selling album over here, never realised there were so many mid-30s Sales Reps in need of something for their car stereos! My American friends- get over the accent, she's not a cheeky cockney, she's a fat chav (look it up) who's classless, cheap, and forgettable.

Posted by: Bronson at August 29, 2011 8:55 PM

I can't believe that montage didn't show any of this classic routine (skip to 4:00 if you don't want to watch the interview):

http://www.colbertnation.com/the-colbert-report-videos/71497/july-10-2006/amy-sedaris

And here is the entire video for Colbert's masterpiece "He's Singing in Korean":

http://www.colbertnation.com/the-colbert-report-videos/182950/may-10-2007/he-s-singing-in-korean


Posted by: Three-nineteen at August 29, 2011 9:33 PM

In a world full of stick figure croaking out the same tunes in increasingly baffling costumes on-stage, Adele is a welcome change.

Posted by: Mr. Stitch at August 29, 2011 10:22 PM

So watching that Adele video, all I could focus on was her nails. They appear to be a pale, fleshy color and every time she flicked her hands around all I could think of was the pale man from Pan's Labryinth. My mind goes to weird places sometimes.

But you Adele haters? I think you're smoking crack, the whole lot of you.

Posted by: Even Stevens at August 30, 2011 2:45 AM

The photos of 'tidying things up' are done by Swiss artist and comedian, Ursus Wehrli, known for his Tidying Up Art books. He also gave a hilarious TED talk about his first book.http://www.ted.com/talks/lang/eng/ursus_wehrli_tidies_up_art.html

Posted by: brite at August 30, 2011 4:50 AM

"“I don’t know how much God has to do to get the attention of the politicians. We’ve had an earthquake; we’ve had a hurricane. He said, ‘Are you going to start listening to me here?’ Listen to the American people because the American people are roaring right now. They know government is on a morbid obesity diet and we’ve got to rein in the spending.”

The only act of God I'll pay attention to is this bitch dying in a fiery crash.

Posted by: samantha t at August 30, 2011 11:36 AM

As to Adele, pretty voice, but I really, really can't hear "Rolling in the Deep" one more time. Enough.

Also, she has 1/100th Winehouse's charisma, but that ship has sailed.

Posted by: samantha t at August 30, 2011 11:37 AM