Whoever Photoshopped Eva Green Into Stick Figure, Cartoon Boob Oblivion Deserves To Have Every Finger Broken
As you all know, Easter is the most vomitous time of the year when it comes candy. Sludge-filled Cadbury Creme eggs and scab-encrusted Peeps vie for the prestigious title of Most Disgusting "Treat." That being said, the Washington Post "Peep Show" dioramas are always a delight and many thanks to Julie for bringing my attention to what should have been the clear winner. (Washington Post)
New video evidence explodes the Florida PD's case that Trayvon Martin was killed in self-defense. Now I'm imagining George Zimmerman (the shooter) pummeling himself a la Jim Carrey in Liar Liar so that he might play the victim. (Slate)
SNL has added a new cast member and, oooo, it's a lady. (The Mary Sue)
Last year, the NYT kicked the hornets nest a bit with their stupid and offensive review of the first season of "Game of Thrones." This year the reviewer (a different one) gives advice on "what 'Game of Thrones' needs if it is to expand its fan base beyond Dungeons & Dragons types." I DON'T THINK WE ARE WATCHING THE SAME SHOW OR LIVING ON THE SAME PLANET, NYT. (NYT)
Speaking of "Game of Thrones," it appears Richard Madden (Robb Stark) is dating the new "Who" companion Jenna-Louise Coleman (the one I think should be green). That's some gen-yoo-ine sci-fi/fantasy royalty right there. Watch out Brad, Angelina and Angelina's leg. P.S. The new companion makes an awfully cute face when she thinks she's about to lose her dress. (The Sun)
I try to avoid getting too political around you lot and I certainly try to keep the TL;DR links to a minimum, but Charlie Pierce's piece in "Esquire" this morning is really goddamn beautiful. So
choke on it enjoy it! (Esquire)
Are you sitting down? Do you have a good grip on your desk? Alright then, check out these baaaaaaarely SFW photos of Michael Fassbender. (Celebitchy)
And for the other half, here's Jennifer Lawrence, ruining white t-shirts and red swimsuits for the rest of us. (Celebitchy)
Finally, to round out the eye candy, let's look at an example of DOING IT WRONG. In today's episode of "Why Doesn't Tim Burton Just Make Cartoons If He Insists On All This Image Manipulation Hijinkery," the smokin' hot Eva Green gets turned into. . .this. I'm sorry, If I wanted to flick my bean to a blonde Betty Boop, I would. You can see the complete cast from Dark Shadows here. (FSR)
Screen Junkies has 6 Danny Trejo characters they would cross the street to avoid. Um, shouldn't that be ALL the Danny Trejo characters? No offense, but the man has a mug that begs a 30 foot radius. (Screen Junkies)
Things I Learned Way Back When He Was Dating Tara Reid: Carson Daly is an enormous tool shed. (Warming Glow)
Things I Learned From Christian Bale Movies: Wall Street is populated with psychopaths. Now science thinks so too! (The Atlantic)
Can you guess every character in this Harry Potter alphabet? I think I love the W most of all. (BioTV)
The amazing poet and feminist Adrienne Rich passed away. The NYT has a lovely tribute which includes lines from my favorite, "Diving Into The Wreck." (NYT)
Banjo legend Earl Scruggs also passed away. You can read this beautiful obituary on The Awl or listen to the man himself playing with Steve Martin.
Finally, George RR Martin reads an extract from his next book "The Winds Of Winter." Spoiler alert: here be dragons.
Joanna Robinson thinks it's a nice day for a Red Wedding.