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The Nation Asked Christina Hendricks To Put Her Rack Away And, Tragically, She Did

By Joanna Robinson | Posted Under Pajiba Love | Comments (36)



10914-christina-hendricks.jpeg

My apologies, my little latkes, for the Christwire kerfuffle yesteday. That was me having a serious case of the dumbs. Are the dumbs contagious? If so, I caught them from this university student who accused her Jewish professor of anti-semitism. Best of all, after the Führer furor died down, she’s still not admitting it’s entirely her fault. (BioTV)

Speaking of culpability, the man who created TSA criticizes it at great length without really accepting any responsibility for having burdened us with it in the first place. Shampoo in tiny bottles is expensive, yo! (TechDirt)

Yes, my barefoot contessas, air travel is a dehumanizing process these days. But check out these Russian mini-hotels for airport layovers (emphasis on the lay). Having slept on the floor of JFK and therefore, surely, having contracted ALL the cooties, I’m in favor of these little fuck sleep boxes. (GOOD)

Also, by the by, the movie Airplane! doesn’t really do it for me. I’m baffled as to why it’s near the top of both the Time Out 100 Best Comedy Movies List and the personal list of comedic genius Edgar Wright. In case you were wondering, entry #100 on the Time Out list is not, in fact, an elaborate April Fool’s joke. (Time Out)

Alas, neither is this comparison of Don Draper and Fabio. Don’t look if you wish to keep Hamm atop that pedastal. (BlackBook)

Did you look? I told you not to look! QUICK! CLEAR YOUR MIND WITH THESE AMISH MUGSHOTS!

Whew, that was close. Speaking of Hamm and the “Mad Men” crew, I owe you all an apology. I was snarking at Christina Hendricks the other day over on facebook because her rack in that pink Vivienne Westwood dress was just…too…much. Miss Hendricks, obviously an avid reader of my facebook feed, responded by burqa-ing herself in this black turtleneck. I’m sorry! I take it back! Never hide your headlights under a bushel again, I beg of you! (Celebitchy)

For all his casual chauvinism, I feel even Don Draper would have spoken up during the pitch for these “hilarious” Topman t-shirts. Seriously, WHO APPROVED THESE? It was Chris Brown, wasn’t it. Is there no end to your villiany, man? (Village Voice)

In less stabby t-shirt news, if you buy the lovely “Dr. Horrible”-themed shirt over at Teefury today, a portion of the proceeds will be donated to “Club Mo” for the Los Angeles “Walk For Lupus Now.” Similarly, Emma Stone, Bill Hader and several other celebrities are pimping a Star Wars themed line of T-Shirts in support of “Stand Up To Cancer.” (EW.com)

The subheading on this WSJ article reads, “Congress contemplates draconian punishment for Internet lies.” Possibly not even big, huge fraudulent lies. But little teensy white lies. Like using a fake name on facebook. Oh, my little felonious hunks, the facebook addicted Pajibans are going to be in truuuu-ble. h/t Bierce Ambrose (WSJ)

Speaking of internet addiction, check out this adorable Holiday card. It beats that naked family, heads down. (The High Definite)

Finally, Dustin continued with Unofficial Pajiba Loves Music Week by posting the 15 Best Singing Performances In Non Musical Films over on Uproxx. #15? That’s why I’ll always love Will Ferrell. (Uproxx)

This? This Cinemetrics thing? Movie nerd eyegasm.

cinemetrics from fb on Vimeo.

And, should you consider that last video too highbrow, then have I got a treat for you. It’s a local commercial for a taxidermist created by YouTube sensations Rhett and Link as part of their IFC show “Commercial Kings.”

Joanna Robinson wishes she were in the Bahamas, where the Caribbean sea is blue.









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Comments

Also, by the by, the movie Airplane! doesn’t really do it for me.

Surely, you can't be serious.

Posted by: MelBivDevoe at September 15, 2011 1:14 PM

For the record, I *never* asked Christina Hendricks to put her rack away!

Posted by: Django at September 15, 2011 1:17 PM

That's the same as not liking The Beatles.

Posted by: Jay at September 15, 2011 1:31 PM

Before the hateraid(*) sponge bath starts (Hey, wait a tick ...) may I please disavow - this is what we do, right, "disavow? - the partisan spinnyness of that WSJ piece. There's no need to call it "Holder's Justice Department" and so on.

In 13 seconds with the Google, I found no better source for the very important news that using a Paji-handle might be a felony. Kind of makes it ... better, you naughty, naughty people.

I'll be in my hateraid sponge-bath.

(*) The always authoritative urban dictionary includes both "hateraid" and "haterade", with similar definitions.

Posted by: BierceAmbrose at September 15, 2011 1:31 PM

I am serious, and don't call me Shirley.

Posted by: VitaminC at September 15, 2011 1:36 PM

You don't like Airplane? I'm saddened and offended.

Kentucky Fried Movie is another classic by the same team, for all of you that disagree.

Posted by: joelboy at September 15, 2011 1:38 PM

I always spelled it "hatorade". . .you know, in my head. Also, Bierce I THOUGHT WE HAD SOMETHING SPECIAL. How could you send that WSJ link to Dustin and not me?

(Yes, yes, I see that VitaminC beat me to it. Dagnabbit.)

Posted by: Joanna Robinson (Don't Call Me Shirley) at September 15, 2011 1:39 PM

I think I see a "Fabio" sketch on SNL in Jon Hamm's future. And I have no doubt it will be KILLER.

Posted by: prairiegirl at September 15, 2011 1:41 PM

Also, by the by, the movie Airplane! doesn’t really do it for me.

And just like that, all of Joanna's cool points disappear. It is truly a sad day.

...I thought you liked movies about gladiators...:sobs:

Posted by: Fredo at September 15, 2011 1:44 PM

I think it's mostly a matter of the photos selected, but there's enough resemblance in them that, yeah, he could totally do a sketch.

It'd be hard to beat Tim Cappello/"Sergio" but I'd like to see him try.

Posted by: Jay at September 15, 2011 1:52 PM

My apologies, my little latkes, for the Christwire kerfuffle yesteday. That was me having a serious case of the dumbs

I generally enjoy your links, but I gotta bring up a couple of things. This is not the first time you've been eat up with the dumbs. I've seen at least one (if not more than one) instance of you posting to dubious Facebook conversations. It is common knowledge that there are sites that can generate fake conversations for you. You also once linked a series of pictures of two churches supposedly having a little war with their signs. It, too, is common knowledge that there are church sign generators. Even without that knowledge, it was obvious that they were fake because every single thing was exactly the same in each picture except for the letters. Now, I'm not going to argue with anyone who thinks that if something makes you laugh then it is funny, because those people are stupid. These things were predicated on being real, therefore they were not funny.

This is not the case with the Christwire deal yesterday. It was meant to look real but was obviously satire. How that got past you I do not know. That shit was Landover Baptist level obvious. I mean, like, Harold Camping level obvious*.

For shame.

* - What?! I just checked That guy's for real?!

Posted by: pissant at September 15, 2011 1:55 PM

Surely you can't... aww, MelBivDevoe beat me to it.

Posted by: Ballymena Bob at September 15, 2011 1:58 PM

I don't like Airplane and hate The Beatles.

Posted by: anonymous for the fear of verbal violence at September 15, 2011 2:02 PM

if something makes you laugh then it is funny

"You want me to grab a dictionary?"

Posted by: Jay at September 15, 2011 2:03 PM

You know what pisses me off when the "Stand Up to Cancer" stuff happens? It's when celebrities such as Turlington and Biel stick their necks out to show how much they care about cancer while last week they were doing fundraisers for PETA.
Because would somebody (who thinks logically and understands science) please tell me how we're supposed to stand up to cancer if we're not allowed to do any testing on mice?
I write this as an animal-lover. I'm not Pajiba's answer to Dr. Mengele; but the fact remains, no animal research, no cancer breakthroughs.

Posted by: PaddyDog at September 15, 2011 2:05 PM

Oh, JR, um, I'm fickle?

How about you let me slide on being a link tramp and I'll forgive you for chasing Christina's neckline up to her ears?

In my defense, I was recalling the Great Pajiba Server Snatch from days of yore. I do hope am concerned that Dustin is liable for every crime against Godtopus, man and public order little indiscretion committed hereabouts. Keep using the handles, people. A visit for DR and crew from the nice people from Langley is just one report of suspicious activity away. Thought y'all should know.

(Today's theme is non-apology apologies, right? Does playing along get me out of the dog house? Although, sometimes that's fun too.)

Posted by: BierceAmbrose at September 15, 2011 2:06 PM

Strikethroughs AND a non-apology. Full marks.

Posted by: Joanna Robinson at September 15, 2011 2:10 PM

How do I get that cinemetrics thing? I NEED IT NOW. IN MY COMPUTER. OR IN MY BRAIN, EITHER WAY.

Also, Amish people creep me out. There, I said it. CREEPY.

Posted by: Anna von Beav at September 15, 2011 2:12 PM

But I don't have any money!

Posted by: Candee at September 15, 2011 2:17 PM

Yeah, it's a bit interesting that the WSJ article continually mentions Obama and Holder by name, and suggests that Democrats could use the law to unfairly criminalize Republicans, but doesn't actually mention who's been bringing these bills up in Congress. I'm not saying it's NOT a Democrat, but the article's tone seems to imply that, and then not mention any sponsors.

If they want to enact a law like that, then do something to regulate the ridiculous length of the Terms of Service agreements on so much software. I'd guess many people in violation aren't even aware of the policy because they're often obnoxiously long and seem to be designed to make people not read them.

Posted by: Socrates_Johnson at September 15, 2011 2:36 PM

And if someone doesn't like Joanna's links you tell them to drag TK and RobP up and down the court for 48 minutes.

(Apologies. You were just the first two, non-Dustin, writers to come to mind. TK, please let me know what I can do to ensure my impending death is quick and painless.)

Posted by: Socrates_Johnson at September 15, 2011 2:40 PM

if something makes you laugh then it is funny

"You want me to grab a dictionary?"

If that is a reference to something else (quotation marks), I don't get it.

I know I said I wouldn't argue, but that was obviously bullshit. Assuming your comment means that you feel that if something makes you laugh then it is funny, I disagree. Take for instance, that fake Stevie Wonder twitter account where all the posts are gibberish ("akja3$A a.lkj", for example). I'm not going to fault anyone for chuckling, however, if you think about that for a split second you realize that it is not funny. It's fucking lazy. Stevie Wonder is known for being very talented at playing musical instruments, which he does without sight. Assuming he knows how to type, I'd imagine he'd be excellent at it. The joke "Stevie Wonder would type gibberish because he is blind" is stupid and not funny. This is objective.

Fake Facebook conversations (textsfromlastnight, fmylife, rage comics, etc.) that are presented as real are not funny. These things are predicated on being real. If they aren't, they are objectively not funny. You can't think of a joke and then submit it to one of these sites (I've seen obvious examples) and magically make it funny. It's not the right medium.

Posted by: pissant at September 15, 2011 2:44 PM

WSJ = Murdoch rag

And the Murdoch empire might be more than a little concerned with laws that opposed unauthorized use of someone's electronic equipment (such as computers and cell phones) because?????????

Posted by: PaddyDog at September 15, 2011 2:45 PM

I don't even know what "quick and painless" means.

Posted by: TK at September 15, 2011 3:02 PM

Team Airplane 2.

Posted by: Robert at September 15, 2011 3:02 PM

Well tickling is not funny to the ticklee. Other than that, I'm pretty sure causing amusement or laughter is the exact definition of funny. Funny is a subjective judgement, Some just find certain things funny because they are stupid.

Posted by: Socrates_Johnson at September 15, 2011 3:11 PM

Thank you National Organization of Women. When will it occur to you broads that some women like showing off their goddies? I mean, what other reason would I have for going to Hooter’s? I can get chicken wings anywhere. If I owned a business my female employees wouldn’t have to compete against my male employees for raises.

Posted by: Pookie at September 15, 2011 3:32 PM

I can think of 100 movies that deserve to be on that list more than Sister Act.
Stripes (is not on this list?!?!)
Fargo
M*A*S*H
Uncle Buck
The Fortune Cookie
Cactus Flower
Spaceballs
The Sunshine Boys
The Road to Utopia
High Anxiety

You get the idea.

And I do love a good Woody Allen movie, but six of the top 100 comedies of all time?

Posted by: Three-nineteen at September 15, 2011 4:11 PM

"Quick and Painless" A congenital analgesia sufferer's battles with premature ejaculation. Starring John Stamos. Lifetime Movie Channel, Friday at 9.

Posted by: Mrcreosote at September 15, 2011 4:40 PM

You fail for not pointing out the comments in the Amish mugshots link.

Posted by: Matt at September 15, 2011 4:47 PM

Okay, now, we as Americans have to ask Christina Hendricks to take her rather out again...all the way out...just to see if she does it. Because then...well...I have to go masturbate now.

Posted by: Juicy Weatherbee at September 15, 2011 5:16 PM

Amish mugshots or cast of the Hobbit?

Posted by: John W at September 15, 2011 9:06 PM

I'd like to see them prove my name isn't F'mal DeHyde.

Posted by: snapnhiss at September 15, 2011 9:25 PM

Speaking of not putting boobs away, please tell me SJ's sexts will be a prime piece in today's post!

Posted by: boobalicious at September 16, 2011 9:23 AM

ScarJo got her own post via "Celebrities are Better than You." http://www.pajiba.com/celebrities_are_better_than_you/hackers-the-hollywood-boogeyman.php

Posted by: Socrates_Johnson at September 16, 2011 11:32 AM

I will be back for more...

Posted by: Escorte de lux at October 9, 2011 8:19 PM