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The Lovely Mila Kunis Strikes A Pose Usually Reserved For Basement Porn And American Apparel Ads

By Joanna Robinson | Posted Under Pajiba Love | Comments (49)

mila21.jpeg

Good morning my lying Lannisters and stalwart Starks. Did you George RR Martin fans get your copy of “A Dance With Dragons But Without Any F*cking Spoilers” yet? Did you stay up all night reading? Well here’s some good news/bad news. Martin has said that he might have more than two more books in him. He might need three or more to wrap up the saga. Mostly, at this point, my tasty Targaryens, I think he’s messing with you. (io9)

Speaking of drawn out bookish sagas, the final Harry Potter film had its New York premiere last night. I would do another whole post on the fashion therein but I’m all out of ways to say how cute Neville Longbottom has become. (But, seriously, Neville, damn.) Evil Beet has a nice overview of the red carpet clothing including the hotel drapes Emma Watson safety pinned to a corset. (Evil Beet)

Are you confused by all the Pottermania? Never fear, my muddled Muggles, this lovely (fake) Criterion collection will clear it up for you. (Potter Criterion)

In the spectacular DVD vernacular, Life Hacker brings you 10 Real World Easter Eggs And Cheat Codes. I knew about some, but I did NOT know I could go straight to leaving a voicemail without having to call a person. My awkward phone break-ups just got a helluva lot easier. (Life Hacker)

Speaking of real-life cheating, the Republicans in Wisconsin have put a slew of fake Democratic candidates on the ballot in order to muddy the recall elections. (Did I read that correctly, or are they writing the fakies in?) Apparently this is an accepted practice. Tricksy. (Chicago Tribune)

And while we’re talking about muddy politics, I do not know what is in the water in Quartzsite, Arizona. Apparently the mayor is out? Potentially they have declared martial law and/or a state of emergency? Mass hysteria?! Do we have any AZ residents who know exactly what is going on? (Washington Post)

Because, um, I don’t mean to alarm you guys, but I’m pretty sure this is what happened to Atlantis right before it sank. That’s the legend, right? Also, looks like they found Atlantis…again. How many Atlanti does that make now? This one is off the coast of Scotland. (Boing Boing)

Here’s a story of political turmoil with a happy ending (so far). The Republic of South Sudan officially seceded from Sudan on last week, ending a 50-year struggle marked by decades of civil war. Here are some gorgeous photos of the South Sudanese people enjoying their new-found sovereignty. (The Big Picture)

See, those photos are beautiful. These photos of the dead-inside looks people have on their faces when they stare at computers are…creepy. Frankly, this whole project is creepy. Because the only thing worse than people staring at computers is you, person staring at people staring at their computers. (People Staring At Computers)

While we’re on the subject of creepy, some may think these photos of Tilda Swinton (aka SWINTON) from W magazine are on the creep side, I think they are just rad and fierce. Below is a little taste of SWINTON in all her violet glory. I really suggest checking out the entire gallery. (W Magazine)
Tilda Swinton W mag august 2011.jpeg

If I give Tilda a “V” for “Violet” then on the other end of the ROYGBIV spectrum is Mila Kunis with an “R” for “REALLY?!” Listen, I love Mila. I especially love that charming little story where Justin Timberlake peer pressured her into going out with a total internet rando. (Yes, yes, a US soldier, but still a rando.) And don’t get me wrong she gives a super cute and down-to-earth seeming interview in GQ and I don’t even mind the underwear situation on the cover. But there is something about that mirror shot that skeeves me out. Is it because she looks like she’s wearing my grandmother’s sandals? (Celebitchy)

Here, Mila, let a flag-clad Helen Mirren show you how to pull of classy/lurid. Not an easy combo to master. (Esquire)

Okay, okay, enough with the links about lovely and unusual ladies. Sorry, they are like crack to me. Speaking of addictive substances, according to a new study the same parts of our brain which crave drugs also crave salt. Um, having drunkenly consumed half a box of Chex Party Mix last night, I’ll believe that. (Science Daily)

No I was not playing the “Law & Order: Sports Utility Vehicle Drinking Game.” How dare you suggest such a thing. (Warming Glow)

Did you know, dear readers, that I play the ukulele? I do. It’s true. That’s why I have no remorse in giving you this exceedingly dorky ukulele version of Michael Jackson’s “Billie Jean” which James Hill performed at Uke Fest last year. Yup, Uke Fest. Deal with it.

Finally, I’ll have you know, I think of you all as The Men and Women Who Know Too Much. What I want to know, my dears, is which Hitchcock film is your favorite? While you’re watching this cute little Hitchcock Cookbook video, I want you to ponder that question and then drop your response in the comments. If you want. Que sera, sera. (Laughing Squid)

Joanna Robinson wishes her favorite Hitchcock film were Suspicion but as she cannot stand Joan Fontaine’s simper, she has to choose Notorious.









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Comments

No, I'm pretty sure it's just the whole "Open for Business" pose. Creepy to you, but awesome for me.

Posted by: Socrates_Johnson at July 12, 2011 1:29 PM

Ya' hear that, you fishy bitch? Atlantis sank! Like every comic-book you've ever headlined!

Posted by: Sinestro at July 12, 2011 1:29 PM

I'm just about sick of Kunis's skank-game. Either take your craft seriously or do porn, you can't have it both ways.

Posted by: BarbadoSlim at July 12, 2011 1:29 PM

It's one of his less mentioned movies, but I've always been fond of Hitchcock's Torn Curtain. And of course, North by Northwest is fantastic. Those two are tied for me, with Strangers on a Train being the runner-up.

(And thank you for the Helen Mirren.)

Posted by: Sara H at July 12, 2011 1:33 PM

Either take your craft seriously or do porn, you can't have it both ways.

Preferably porn...

Posted by: Socrates_Johnson at July 12, 2011 1:35 PM

I still haven't seen a lot of Hitchcock, but of what I have seen it's too difficult to choose between Notorious, Vertigo, and North By Northwest. I also dig Shadow Of A Doubt. The ending of Suspicion is terrible.

Posted by: DarthCorleone at July 12, 2011 1:36 PM

Yeah, I don't get why photographers think pictures that look like some random perv took them in his parents' bedroom while they were on vacation are so cool. They're not. I like some actual art in art direction, not just "lay there next to the sliding mirrored closet doors and look sexy."

But Mila Kunis sure is gorgeous. Basement porn can't take that away.

Posted by: Slash at July 12, 2011 1:36 PM

North by Northwest!!

Posted by: Samantha at July 12, 2011 1:42 PM

I have a soft spot for Hitchcock's older stuff when there was a wacky screwball element. The Lady Vanishes and The 39 Steps.

Posted by: Forever Jung at July 12, 2011 1:48 PM

Notorious or Strangers on a Train, totally. I looooove Strangers on a Train.

Posted by: internet magpie at July 12, 2011 1:52 PM

I love the fashion and glamour of To Catch a Thief, but it doesn't get much better than Vertigo.

Posted by: Mel C. at July 12, 2011 1:54 PM

I don't know about James Hill, but here's Jake Shimabukuro playing "Thriller" on the ukulele. Nothing dorky about it.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=02-gXysqDo8

Posted by: tranjo at July 12, 2011 1:58 PM

Mila is indisputably hot and she's of legal age and then some but I just CANT. She's just too small and delicate looking.

Damn I must be getting olde.

Posted by: logan at July 12, 2011 2:10 PM

Ukelele is highly underrated.

Posted by: MM at July 12, 2011 2:10 PM

My actual favorite Hitchcock movie is Vertigo, but sometimes I say Rope because it's my second favorite and there's less chance someone else will claim it.

Posted by: Three-nineteen at July 12, 2011 2:13 PM

Hey, Sinestro how's it feel being the second tier villian in a third tier movie making fourth tier money? I'm sure Hollywood is just being careful with the Aqua movie because they need to get in all the AWESOME!!! I heard it's going to be in smell-o-vision and AXE body spray is going to sponsor. So you know, bad-ass.

Posted by: Aqualad at July 12, 2011 2:22 PM

best mirren quote from the interview:

"Being the daughter of a cabbie, I really do appreciate a good back route."

yeah. helen mirren. always good for a double entendre if you've got a thing for hot sexagenarians.

Posted by: matty blue at July 12, 2011 2:24 PM

Dammit, Three-nineteen! Rope is MY favorite! The way it's filmed in exceedingly long takes, as well as the performances by Farley Granger and John Dall make it fascinating. Plus, once you know what's going on, it's great to watch again and see how it all comes out.

Posted by: Siege at July 12, 2011 2:24 PM

I assume sexagenarians is a typo, but it is just oh so appropriate.

Posted by: Socrates_Johnson at July 12, 2011 2:28 PM

"...Evil Beet has a nice overview of the red carpet clothing including the hotel drapes Emma Watson safety pinned to a corset."


-"Thank ya...I saw it in the window and I just couldn't resist it..."

Posted by: bleujayone at July 12, 2011 2:33 PM

Posted by: Sara H at July 12, 2011 2:33 PM

I dunno, have you ever seen Jake perform live? He talks about being high on sunshine and love and stuff. Insanely talented he is. Undorky he is not.

Posted by: coveredinbees at July 12, 2011 2:40 PM

Mila's pose is actually quite a refreshing change from the doggy-style semi-porn pose that has been so prevalent lately. You can imagine some people discovering it for the first time.

" 'Missionary'? Hmmm ... looks interesting, but why the strange name?"

Posted by: , at July 12, 2011 2:41 PM

I don't know about James Hill, but here's Jake Shimabukuro playing "Thriller" on the ukulele. Nothing dorky about it.

Really? "Nothing dorky about it"? Have you seen his face when he plays?

Posted by: sars at July 12, 2011 2:46 PM

I thought the picture was classy basement porn since they had freshly vacuumed the carpet, but then I realised that it was the way the shadows from her legs fell and not the way the nap was lying.

I wish actresses would stop agreeing to be photographed looking like they are anticipating a violation. Or like teenage girls.

Posted by: Mrs. Julien at July 12, 2011 2:50 PM

a) Upon relisten, one of my favorite parts of the ukulele video is the Uke dorks dorking out in the background. "Yeeaaahhh! Woooooo!" So cute.

b) Mrs. J. I think that's an interesting point. How much agency does the actresses actually have in these photoshoot scenarios? Presumably the GQ cover is part and parcel with the promotion she is obligated to do for Friends WIth Benefits. That promotion is written into her contract, right? I mean, I don't know anything about film contracts, I'm just spitballing about how hard it is for an actress who is not Insane Super Famous yet to have much power in these positions. I don't mean to be an apologist for basement porn. I just think it's a tricky position. (yup, that happened)

Posted by: coveredinbees at July 12, 2011 2:58 PM

Rear Window.

Posted by: Amberlark at July 12, 2011 3:02 PM

I'm just spitballing about how hard it is for an actress who is not Insane Super Famous yet to have much power in these positions.

Going by the picture, I'd say it's pretty hard for ANYONE to have much power in that position.

Posted by: Socrates_Johnson at July 12, 2011 3:07 PM

coveredinbees

That is an interesting question and I can see how autonomy might be hard to come by, but I notice that some actresses appear bare chested and some don't, so that much must be by choice. Mr. Julien worked briefly as a production assistant in LA and one of his tasks was to deliver the incredibly specific derriere nudity clause to a D List actor. These kinds of things are generally very rigorously worked out, so I think it must be possible to have some say in your own exploitation. And integrity is always an option: She's already in underpants, but she can refuse to lie down on the sleazy set. There must be some middle ground between inappropriate pseudochild sexualization and going full Voldemort like SWINTON up there.

Posted by: Mrs. Julien at July 12, 2011 3:12 PM

Ugh, those Mila Kunis photos were shot by Terry Richardson, who was American Apparel's Dov Charney before Dov Charney. Richardson is a fucking hack. I do not understand his photos appeal at all. First of all, if we are just talking lighting techniques, his images will not be hard to replicate. Then just have a woman splay out in her undies, and ta dahhh you have a terry richardson cover shot.

What sickens me most is how much this guy gets paid to make cheap-ass shots.

/end photo nerd rant.

Posted by: denesteak at July 12, 2011 3:16 PM

Ah, so, I thought I smelled that certain je ne sais sank that pervaded that gross "Glee" photoshoot.

http://www.gq.com/entertainment/movies-and-tv/201011/glee-photos-rachel-quinn-finn#slide=1

Posted by: coveredinbees at July 12, 2011 3:19 PM

Terry Richardson explains a lot. I was trying to remember his name when writing my comment. Not because I knew he took the photograph but because the staging was his style.

Posted by: Mrs. Julien at July 12, 2011 3:20 PM

The Mila photos were done by Terry Richardson who is a famous celebrity/fashion photographer. The majority of his photos of women look like this and he is also pretty creepy in general. There are some really awful stories about him floating around.

Its unclear whether or not actresses can refuse to have him be the photographer but I would love to know if any have.

Posted by: cc at July 12, 2011 3:26 PM

JRob: Slydial is the fucking BEST. Anytime I have to call in sick to work I use it. Or it's late and I'm returning a phone call but don't actually want to talk, it works like a damn charm. One of the best inventions ever.

Posted by: TylerDFC at July 12, 2011 3:27 PM

Oops! You guys beat me to it!

Posted by: cc at July 12, 2011 3:27 PM

I am a big fan of Notorious, but there's this streak of dark humor in Frenzy... I like it. Also Rebecca.

Posted by: Cree83 at July 12, 2011 3:37 PM

Posted by: xoxoxoe at July 12, 2011 3:38 PM

Mila is such a beautiful young woman with legs that begged to be photographed so I suppose it would be a shame not to do so....but Mila.....what would your dad say? Didn't he already tell you enough with the nakies?

Posted by: kirbyjay at July 12, 2011 4:15 PM

Yeah, Terry Richardson = highly responsible for a lot of the current grossness in celeb photos. GROSS.

Posted by: MM at July 12, 2011 5:00 PM

This was hard to come up with so I did a top 10

1. Rear Window
2. Psycho
3. Notorious
4. Shadow of a Doubt
5. Rope
6. North by Northwest
7. The Birds
8. Torn Curtain
9. Vertigo
10. The 39 Steps

Posted by: THRILLHO at July 12, 2011 5:05 PM

Re: Terry Richardson...He's also responsible for the "Glee" shoot for GQ, where the girls played half-naked underagers and the guy had clothes on.

Posted by: sars at July 12, 2011 5:21 PM

Because the only thing worse than people staring at computers is you, person staring at people staring at their computers.

The best part is not needing a sedative when you have people staring at their computers of people staring at computers of people staringBWWWWAAAUUUZZZzzzzzzz...

Posted by: branded at July 12, 2011 5:22 PM

Rear Window, bitchees.

Posted by: Snuggiepants at July 12, 2011 7:18 PM

I love Mila Kunis oh so much (she may actual rival Kristen Bell for my #1 girl crush) and while I think that photo is a little odd (and kind of 70s-ish), I don't really think its any worse than a lot of the other stuff out there. Maybe I'm just blinded by my girl-crush.

And those Criterion HP covers? LOVE. During the middle HP movies I was convinced that Neville and Draco were cute kids that were ruined by puberty and going to be pretty goofy looking. Never in my life have I been so happy to be wrong.

Posted by: Even Stevens at July 12, 2011 8:59 PM

K, sorry guys, I'm sure I'll get railed but... that's just an old lady wrapped in a flag! That is not sexy!

Now her quotes are gold and I think she's a brilliant actress and lovely and wonderful etc., etc., etc. But sexy she is not. You lose that title at a certain age. Maybe I'll feel differently at 42 or 52 or 62, but I'm 32 and that's just an old lady in a flag lookin' like maybe she's trying too hard.

Please don't stone me. I simply do not see it.

Posted by: double r at July 12, 2011 9:52 PM

The lure of Helen Mirren is that she looks stunning for her age without the help of
(obvious) nipping and tucking, not that she could out sex a hot 25 year old. She is a talented actress and a woman of class who happens to still look great.

Posted by: kirbyjay at July 13, 2011 9:49 AM

ICK!! Just read some blogs on Terry Richardson and I hope Mila was not alone. What a perv.

Posted by: kirbyjay at July 13, 2011 9:56 AM

Am I they only one seeing this, or are they trying to let Mila look like Natalia Portman in that picture?

Posted by: parody at July 13, 2011 10:14 AM

You've some helpful ideas! Maybe I should to ponder doing this by my self.

Posted by: DJ Taylormade at August 4, 2011 3:34 PM