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The Action Heroes Of Your Youth Are Now Swollen, Drugged-Out Man Babies

By Joanna Robinson | Posted Under Pajiba Love | Comments (25)

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No, no, of course you’re right. It’s not kind to mock someone who’s just come out of surgery. However, this photo of Stallone and Schwarzenegger is obviously my favorite thing today. (Who Say)

Speaking of those muscle-bound thespians, Screen Junkies has an interesting list pairing esteemed directors with action stars that should be “rescued” from relative obscurity. (Screen Junkies)

Not being a daredevil myself, I have a healthy respect for those out there brave enough to pull off insane physical stunts. That being said, skydiving from space? Shudder. (Art Of Manliness)

I’m not a huge fan of the emphasis on “manliness” in that last link. Nor am I a fan of the recent coverage of Pinterest.
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The Mary Sue takes a look at the sexist language surrounding the suddenly popular site. (The Mary Sue)

Because girls like nerdy things, too. OKAY? Here’s my adorable friend Vivian letting her nerd flag fly with these “Firefly” Drinking Game rules. Come for the references, stay for her Kaylee jumpsuit. Excuse me, Viv, I’ll be in my bunk. (Hot Nerd Girl)

Speaking of pairing beer with nerdy pursuits, check out this excellent and in depth list of which brews go with which comics. Seriously, someone spent a lot of time on this. (Quirk Books)

And while we’re on the subject of dorky things you can ingest, someone please get me these Letterpress cookie cutters. Pretty please? With umlauts on top? (Saveur)

Dear lord I love this Great Showdown scene from Temple Of Doom. It’s the smiley face on the heart that sends it over the top. (Great Showdowns)
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Has Scott C done Gene vs. The Fridge yet? Cause he should. Oh, speaking of which, wriggle into your shortest denim cutoffs, the Wet Hot American Summer sequel is confirmed! (FilmDrunk)

If you’re a fan of absurdist humor, then you’ll love this story of a cop chasing his own dumb *ss for 20 minutes. (Gizmodo)

As part of their ongoing Hollywood Scandals series, The Hairpin has an amazing piece on the rise and fall of Fatty Arbuckle. In the words of the article, “Dude was a PIONEERING PIE-IN-THE-FACER.” He deserved more than the nickname “Fatty.” (The Hairpin)

Paste has selected the 100 best film posters from the past 100 years. (1 per year.) You know I have to agree with the choice from 2000. (Paste)

There was a whole lot of dancing going on during the ABC comedies last night and as much as I enjoyed the amazing Cheryl Hines (she’s 46 people), nothing pleased me more than Damon Wayans Jr. at the dentist. Enjoy.

One more dancing video for you. This one courtesy of TK. Oh yes, it’s “Sherlock“‘s Benedict Cumberbatch dancing to Thriller.

And, finally, I’m squeezing in this video that Julie just sent my way. Is this real life? HOW IS THIS SOMETHING A WOMAN WOULD EVER WANT?









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Comments

Where's Dr. Pisaster? I haven't read anything about vaginas in weeks.

Posted by: John G. at February 9, 2012 1:26 PM

Cheryl Hines isn't 56. She's 46. Fun fact: Ms. Hines and I both worked at the Hitchcock attraction at Universal Studios Orlando (she was the Janet Leigh stand-in, I was a "grip"). I knew we were contemporaries...don't make me feel older than I already am. (Love her on "Suburgatory" by the way...)

(Oh that makes so much more sense.--JR)

Posted by: SugarKane at February 9, 2012 1:31 PM

I think the good Doctor is on, ironically, medical leave.

Posted by: Mrs. Julien at February 9, 2012 1:34 PM

Ok, was that for real? If mr.wsapnin ever scheduled my pap smear, I would take it as a sign that he thinks there is some funk in my junk. Plus it would piss me off because he always schedules things at the most inconvenient times for me anyway. Plus he'd work in a little passive aggressiveness like his people always do.

"Honey, because I love you, I have taken the liberty of scheduling your pap smear for next Tuesday at 6:22 a.m. You know I'll be on the road, and you'll have to get the kids up and ready for school, but somehow you'll make it work. That was their first available time and now that's one less phone call you have to make in your busy day as a stay at home mom with 3 kids in school."

Whoever wrote that psa was a man. Probably a divorced man.

Posted by: wsapnin at February 9, 2012 1:42 PM

The Cumberbatch video is fairly controversial because it was a private video from his ex-girlfriend's Facebook that got leaked. Wasn't sure if you were aware.

Posted by: tropes at February 9, 2012 1:43 PM

Husband: They should call them something else. "Pap" and "Smear". It just sounds uncomfortable and unpleasant. I'm not even sure how it's done or what is involved, but gross.

Me: Nice. "Gross". What, pray tell, would your suggestion be?

Husband: Pudding Party. Vaginotion Motion. Vagishake. Anything is better than PapSmear.

Posted by: the other courtney at February 9, 2012 1:49 PM

Ernest Hemingway could give you a Pappy Smear.

I'll show myself out.

Posted by: Mrs. Julien at February 9, 2012 2:12 PM

Pretty happy that there's someone else out there who misses the old Snipes/Harrelson pairing. I would watch the SHIT out of a Coen brothers movie starring those two.

And possibly Bill Murray. Why hasn't such an obviously awesome thing happened already?

Posted by: Bert at February 9, 2012 2:15 PM

I think I see where you're going Bert. Garfield III: Odie's New Voice, with Snipes as Odie and Harrelson as Nermal. Am I close?

Posted by: Socrates_Johnson at February 9, 2012 2:21 PM

Anything is better than PapSmear.

Does anyone else think the term "pap smear" sounds like an Impressionist technique? Don't get me wrong, I'd still commend the style as being strongly vaginal, but that bothers some men. The word itself makes some men uncomfortable. Vagina.

Posted by: branded at February 9, 2012 2:34 PM

EEEwww!!!! Look at Stallone's alien baby left hand! WTF?!?! Did anyone notice that??

Posted by: Helcat at February 9, 2012 3:16 PM

I can't see anything other than the imminenet embolism from his giant red head.

Posted by: Mrs. Julien at February 9, 2012 3:47 PM

That beer/comics article is pretty great. Makes me wish we had Yuengling over here on the west coast. I've only been out east once, but I quite enjoyed it while I was there.

Posted by: =DocDoom= at February 9, 2012 3:53 PM

Imminent Embolism. It feels so right, feels just the right amount of clot, rolling off the tongue.

Posted by: ZombieMedic at February 9, 2012 4:25 PM

Which should not be confused with a Pap Schmeer in which is when Dad goes overboard putting stuff on his bagel at Sunday brunch.

Posted by: bleujayone at February 9, 2012 6:07 PM

"Smear" just isn't a nice word, and "Pap" is not a warm and fuzzy sound in English. It's short for a Dr.'s name, but that's a poor excuse. "Pap test" would have been better, even.

Posted by: bentjohn at February 9, 2012 7:22 PM

Ooh I loved that link to the movie posters. I love looking at the evolution of the art and how well some posters work. And even though I hated the movie, I have to admit that the Almost Famous poster was pretty fantastic. I wish I could look at their other contenders for each year.

Posted by: figgy at February 9, 2012 10:30 PM

Mrs J., stop abusing the word 'ironic'.

That's the third time this week you've fucked it up.

Posted by: Peter G at February 10, 2012 12:04 AM

So glad I'm not alone in loving the danceathon on ABC last night! Joanna, your daily links always make my day.

Posted by: Sara at February 10, 2012 1:10 AM

I can't help thinking of Naked Gun now.

And sorry, but it seems that the Pinterest graphic is right on the money.

Posted by: Protoguy at February 10, 2012 1:12 AM

Peter G

a. You're keeping track? You have, literally, blown my mind.

2. The one in this thread I'll grant you. I realised it wasn't quite right, but I decided to forge ahead nonetheless.

How's this: Ironically, she has been unable to follow the injunction "physician heal thyself", so she has taken a medical leave.

Points for effort?

In Elizabethan England, they only had Shakesmears.

Posted by: Mrs. Julien at February 10, 2012 9:34 AM

WHAS sequel? I just peed myself a little.

Posted by: PerpetualIntern at February 10, 2012 10:11 AM

I always assumed "pap" was short for pappiloma (the P in HPV), which the aforementioned smear is testing for.

I have to say that pap smear, while an icky visual, isn't nearly as off-putting as Six-Inch-Qtip-In-Your-Hooha...

Posted by: Patty O'Green at February 10, 2012 12:04 PM

Literally all I saw was 'WET HOT AMERICAN SUMMER SEQUEL CONFIRMED' and then I passed out with joy. For like, fifty hours or something. What else is going on now, Ahnold and Sly had surgery ?

Posted by: Nadine at February 10, 2012 12:30 PM

Hey There. I found your blog using msn. This is a really well written article. I will make sure to bookmark it and come back to read more of The Action Heroes Of Your Youth Are Now Swollen, Drugged-Out Man Babies . Thanks for the post. I will definitely return.

Posted by: Inspirational Quotes at March 26, 2012 4:24 AM