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Some Useless Marzipan Dildo Had the Audacity to to Slut-Shame Kate Winslet

By Dustin Rowles | Pajiba Love | June 6, 2013 | Comments ()


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This ... person ... who writes for the UK's Telegraph has the nerve to slut shame Kate Winslet because she's going to have a third child with as many husbands. She's going to be a dame some day, so I suggest you shut your mouth and clumb up my a**hole, lady. (Telegraph)

She could learn a lesson from Roger Ebert, whose thoughts on kindness have been transformed into a wonderful comic strip. (Curious Brain)

If that's not enough to swing the pendulum, check out this artist who lovingly turned her Dad into a superhero. Best daughter ever. (Unreality)

And if that doesn't bring a smile, then surely Sam Jackson reading Walter White's "I Am the One Who Knocks" monologue will. I mean, it has to. (Uproxx)

I'm going to assume this is real because I'm not cynical enough to believe otherwise, but a man who has about 30 days to live is writing about the end of his life, and well, you know, it's the kind of the thing that makes you want to quit your job, run out, and absorb as much life as possible in with the time we have left. (Blog of a Condemned)

For better or worse, I have become one of the names associated with the "Mad Men" nuttery this season, and whether the theories pan out or not, if it enriches your "Mad Men" viewing experience, I'm OK with that. Speaking of "Mad Men," Harry Hamlin has been a goddamn treasure this season, and here he talks about his experiences on the show with as much kooky glee as his character. (Vulture)

You and your pixels, people: Here's a hipster version of The Shining poster, via ELCoolJ. (Etsy)

It's a sad day for somebody, I'm sure, when pretty celebrity covers can't sell magazines anymore. (NYTimes)

Jesus, Bieber. Be a man instead of a buffoon and wear a goddamn hat that fits you. (GFY)

Horror buffs will appreciate this look at the 10 most creative monster costumes of the last decade. (FSR)

Despite my pleas to cast Eden Sher in the role, it appears that Carey Mulligan is the likely choice to play Hillary Clinton in Rodham. (Slashfilm)



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Comments Are Welcome, Jerks Will Be Banned


  • mswas

    "Darling Leo, you're so sexy! Let me kiss you"

    "Not by the hair of my chinny chin chin"

    "Oh all right"

  • googergieger

    So it's my birthday in a few days. People keep asking me if I'm going to celebrate it. Personally, I think me going another year without killing myself is a bigger cause for celebration, bu maybe that's just me.

  • Mrs. Julien

    You should reward yourself with a marzipan dildo!

  • $27019454

    Mmm nah. I did that two birthdays ago. It was kind of a letdown.

  • The writer should turn her, um, impressive journalistic skills on the male side of the procreation equation. So many of us are horrible life partners, for many reasons. None of us are entitled to judge someone for their actions when they appear to be fabulously successful - or if we must, we should at least take a page from the Germans and do so silently.

  • Don Juan de Markup

    Laurence Olivier became Lord Olivier so Kate Winslet will become Baroness Winslet. Of course Lord Olivier was screwing Danny Kay at the time according to a number of accounts,

  • F'mal DeHyde

    Get out, Danny Kaye?

  • PaddyDog

    Of course she could always choose, like David Bowie, to tell them she won't accept a title. Which would make me love her more.

  • NateMan

    Judith Woods is a judgemental enema of epic proportions. What a twit.

  • Angry Spider

    I adore you for using a Malcolm Tucker/Thick of It quote in the headline.

  • anikitty

    I would be so confused by what to do with a marzipan dildo.

  • Mrs. Julien

    Tell the idiot who gave it to you to shove it up their a-- thus finding an appropriate response and functionality.

  • meadowdancer

    Mick Jagger: seven children with four women
    Clint Eastwood: eight children by six women
    Kevin Costner: seven children by three women
    Charlie Sheen: five children by three women
    Steven Tyler: four children by three women
    RDJr: two children by two different women
    Colin Farrell: two children by two different women
    Colin Firth: three children by two different women

    And the list can go on and on and on

    Also the Telegraph published another article defending Kate Winslet so now I am wondering if they did it to just generate comments. It's disgusting.

  • dizzylucy

    Donald Trump- 5 kids, 3 wives.
    Martin Scorcese- 3 kids with 3 wives plus 2 other marriages
    Billy Bob Thornton- 5 wives, 4 kids w/ 3 wives
    Larry King- too many to count
    Eddie Murphy- 8 kids with 4 women
    Mickey Rooney- 8 marriages, 9 children.

    But I guess articles slut-shaming Clint Eastwood and Mickey Rooney wouldn't bring in the same kind of internet traffic?

  • Sara_Tonin00

    probably. They get to troll coming and going.

  • meadowdancer

    Yeah some people are calling them out for publishing the first article and then the second re-butting it. It seems planned. Either way it's disgusting.

  • emmelemm

    And that hasn't even begun to consider the depth of the bench of musicians and sports stars with legions of children and baby mamas. Some of whom, if I'm not mistaken, have their own reality shows about how many children they have with how many women.

  • meadowdancer

    I know. What gets me is that no one ever calls out any man for the exact damn thing. And in this case. Kate Winslet was/is freaking married to every one of her children's father's so screw off on that point Telegraph writer. And even if she wasn't who the hell cares?

    It is no one's business if she was single and got knocked up, engaged, married, or just had a one night stand.

    Hell no one is throwing shade at any actor for going around and being male whores. I mean shit. Leo Dicaprio just uses the V.S. catalog to figure out who he is sleeping with next for a few weeks before he dumps them. No one slags off on him though about it.

  • katenonymous

    Seriously. It's not like she's a deadbeat mom.

  • Mrs. Julien

    YOU, I like!

  • meadowdancer

    LOL I like you too Mrs. Julien.

  • Mrs. Julien

    I'mma upvote your comment about liking me!

  • You get an upvote! And YOU get an upvote! YOU ALL GET UPVOTES!!!

  • simplysarah

    F*ck you Telegraph lady. My mom had 3 children by 3 different dads. She was NOT a slut, just very unlucky in love.

  • meadowdancer
  • PaddyDog

    If she had shamed her for the strange Wafflehouse creation she's wearing on the side of her head in that picture, I would have been okay with it.

    Hats are elegant, but this ridiculous fascinator trend is veering very quickly into Grey Gardens territory.

  • $27019454

    Totally.

  • Mrs. Julien

    Is the descriptor "useless" really necessary when modifying "marzipan dildo"? I think it might be redundant.

  • katenonymous

    Depends. Maybe some people really love marzipan.

  • ,

    Jesus Christ I can't stand Winslet and my heart bled for her after reading that. That bitch needs to issue an apology and fast.

  • Mrs. Julien

    Well, look who's back in the punctuation game.

  • Reply to Dumbasses

    Why the f**k should you care what someone puts in front of their comment.

  • Mrs. Julien

    Oh honey, no.

  • Mrs. Beasley

    Are you southern? That's a southern woman's response, to reprimand with sweetness. Usually followed with, well bless your heart.

  • Mrs. Julien

    I'm Canadian. I stole it from the Fug Girls.

  • Sara_Tonin00

    You're not in on the joke. It's ok.

  • Rochelle

    Sir! You malign marzipan, dildos, and marzipan dildos by comparing them to Judith Woods.

  • ExUSA

    I am a 28 year old woman... I sometimes refer to myself as a grownup, but I am not ashamed to admit that A) I watched Titanic last night (AGAIN) and B) I still hold out hope that Kate and Leo will just MARRY already. This Ned fellow is but a bump in the road. Clearly they belong together. There are no other celebrity couples I feel strongly towards, except these two.

  • Fredo

    His string of blondes tells me he too sees this as the inevitable outcome.

    That or he really likes blondes.

  • L.O.V.E.

    Is it still ok to shame her for having a baby with a guy who renamed himself Rocknroll?

  • Mrs. Julien

    Will the child's surname be Rocknroll? Winslet-Rocknroll? This is the only story element that needs to be addressed.

    I like to hear his name in my head a la Spinal Tap when they are lost under the concert venue and David St. Hubbins exclaims, "ROCK'N'ROLL!" Also, I choose to believe that her husband's middle names are "Hello" and "Cleveland".

  • Mrs. Beasley

    I hope they name their baby Olive. Get it, Olive Rocknroll? Haaaha. Ok I'm done here.

  • Wembley

    I assumed Sexdrugsand was the obvious choice in a world with Pilot Inspektor, Moxie Crimefighter, Fifi Trixiebell and Diva Thin Muffin as celebrity children's names.

  • Mrs. Beasley

    Nice. However, if you ever get that chance to reference Joan Jett with your babys name, you take it and run man.

  • Captain D

    This would instantly be the sanest (and my favorite) celebrity baby name yet

  • Mrs. Julien

    That was GLORIOUS! I'm still laughing.

    They will rock that baby with one steady roll!

  • John W

    Horror buff? Did someone call?

  • Karen H. Davey

    @mrs_beasley:disqus my ոеighbοr'ѕ mοm makеѕ  $60 hοսrly οո thе laρtορ. ѕhе haѕ bееո սոеmρlοyеd fοr ѕix mοոthѕ  bսt laѕt mοոth hеr ρayсhесk  waѕ  $14891 jսѕt wοrkiոg οո thе laρtορ  fοr a fеw hοսrѕ. Rеad mοrе  οո thiѕ ѕitе,..Fox83.com

  • e jerry powell

    I just can't with you today.

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