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See That Face? Not Hers, His. That Face Is Why You Won't Be Getting Laid Tonight.

By Joanna Robinson | Posted Under Pajiba Love | Comments (34)

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Alright my faithful little Lovers, I appreciate you coming back day after day to listen to me jaw on about “Doctor Hoo” and typography. But I realize it’s not all about me and my loves. So for the Lady Gaga haterz among you, here’s some footage of her making a schadenfreudian slip off her piano during a concert. Enjoy it, you monsters. (Evil Beet)

Was it everything you always dreamed of? Good, I’m glad. Speaking of revenge fantasies, Hugh Grant turned the tables on a paparazzo by bugging a conversation with him and then writing about it. It’s okay that I love Hugh, right? That prostitute thing was a really long time ago. (New Statesmen)

Speaking of the demise of print media, a former HuffPo writer is bringing a class action suit against the site for not paying their contributors. It would appear his suit is completely without legal merit, alas. But C+ for effort, my friend. (Slate)

Also without merit, apparently, are the filmic depictions of bar fights. There go my dreams of breaking a bottle on the side of a table or cracking someone over the head with a pool cue. (Smoking Jacket)

Don’t worry, my little book worms, other dreams live on. Yesterday I told you how you could smell like a Neil Gaiman character, today I’m here to tell you how you can win a speaking role in the fantastic full-cast recording of “American Gods.” You do it by clicking this link. (Book Perk)

Is that a really nerdy dream, my dears? Well, I’m in good company. Here Donald Glover (aka Troy from “Community” aka the man who would be Spider-Man) lists his 10 favorite nerd things. Have you heard his musical about #1? (Topless Robot)

In super heroic news, apparently Adrianne Palicki will be wearing three different outfits in the new “Wonder Woman” show. Yes, including a shorts version. In crap heroic news, the new Batman Stage Show is Schumucking with all the gritty good work Nolan has done with the franchise. (Hollywood Reporter)

Speaking of heroes, I suppose we should give a reluctant round of applause to the U.S. government for not completely shutting down. Well done, you asshats. Have you tried your hand at fixing the budget yet? These edifying charts can help you do so. (GOOD)

Ahhhhh, I can’t pass up a good chart segue. Jason from I Love Charts presents his top ten favorite musical charts. If you think a comparison of Rebecca Black’s “Friday” and The Beatles “A Day In The Life” isn’t on here, then you don’t understand the internet. (Urlesque)

Given that I am a die hard Beatles fan, your chances of nailing me on the first date are 50/50. I like those odds! If I were a Coldplay fan, you’d be S.O.L., and if I were a Nirvana fan, you’d be in like Flynn. I suspect that Nirvana fact has something to do with self-esteem. Don’t look at me like that, it’s science! Oh, nevermind. (Tastebuds)

Ah, but The Beatles are long gone. In terms of Contemporary Music I Like, I enjoy the hail out of Feist. I don’t know what that says about my sexual predilections, but I do know that I really dig this new track (I believe it’s new, feel free to correct me, music elite). It’s a little rough, but that’s how I like it. Also, stick around to see Beck take the high harmony. It’s a joy.

Record Club: Skip Spence “Weighted Down” from Beck Hansen on Vimeo.

Finally, it’s been awhile, my rapturous raptors, since I talked about my love of dinosaurs. Lest you forget, here’s an incredible video of a T-Rex puppet scaring the bejaysus out of some Aussie kids. Despite the visible puppeteer legs, that T-Rex is awfully convincing.

Joanna Robinson would now like some enterprising children’s television programmer to make a new Barney-style show with that T-Rex puppet. I’d watch that show. Email! Twitter!









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Comments

here’s some footage of her making a schadenfreudian slip off her piano during a concert.

I believe it's the mark of a consummate professional to get right the fuck back up after that and keep going. I'M JUST SAYING.

Posted by: Anna von Beav at April 13, 2011 1:12 PM

Hey ladies, I'm a HUGE Nirvana and Metallica fan. I can listen to them all night long, especially with my mouth.

Posted by: Kballs at April 13, 2011 1:18 PM

I've been wearing BPAL for years and years now. The Neil Gaiman stuff is really nice. Some of it is only stinky. Should you order from them, and should they send you an imp of Zombi, for the love of god DON'T OPEN IT.

And good for Gaga. Falling happens, getting on with it and not being a baby is a good thing.

Posted by: Paleolithchick at April 13, 2011 1:19 PM

that dinosaur is awesome. i would like to hire him/her for my next birthday. PUNCH AND PIE

Posted by: spetzo at April 13, 2011 1:22 PM

Yesss. I would produce Donald Glover's Goldie Wilson musical where he slowly realized that Calvin Klein and Marty McFly are the same person but can't tell anyone because it would compromise his political career if they thought he was crazy.

Posted by: Optimus Rhyme at April 13, 2011 1:25 PM

*Slam!

"Honey, I'm home!"

"Oh, hey Babe. How was your day?"

"Oh just peachy. I made 200 kindergarteners simultaneously shit their pants!"

"Lucky Bastard. Wish I could do that with my co-workers."

Posted by: bleujayone at April 13, 2011 1:27 PM

So I am a Nirvana AND a Coldplay fan.

What does that make me?

Posted by: MissRos at April 13, 2011 1:28 PM

You might be able to forgive the prostitute thing (which never really bothered me), but I can NEVER forgive him for completely ruining Sense and Sensibility. A real man would have said "I'm sorry but I would be so miscast in the role of Edward Ferrars that I just can't accept for the sake of Ms. Austen's fans", But no. He took the role and for that he has earned my undying hatred.

Posted by: PaddyDog at April 13, 2011 1:33 PM

BPAL is crack....CRACK I TELL YOU....

Posted by: Jules at April 13, 2011 1:34 PM

The logic used in that bar fighting article defies logic. And common sense. Half of them are easily disputable if you've ever been to a rowdy bar or fraternity party at most large state universities.

Posted by: Some Guy at April 13, 2011 1:34 PM

"Wonder Woman will be wearing at least 3 outfits"

And all of them will be fucking ugly and embarrassing to all womankind.

Posted by: Figgy at April 13, 2011 1:39 PM

So I am a Nirvana AND a Coldplay fan.

What does that make me?

Asexual!

/shrug

Posted by: D-Day at April 13, 2011 1:42 PM

To be fair to the Batman Live show, it was conceived as a circus piece. You know, big top, clowns, acrobatics, and all that jazz. Bright cartoony Batman makes sense there. I'm not going to enjoy sucking down cotton candy and vats of soda if The Joker is shooting people at point blank range and laughing about it.

Posted by: Robert at April 13, 2011 1:44 PM

Posted by: Mrs Smith at April 13, 2011 1:57 PM

Y'know, JoRo, I've never agreed that puns are the lowest form of comedy. I'm glad you haven't taken that to heart, yet, either.

And since I love both The Beatles and Nirvana, I guess that means you all have a 75% chance of nailing me on the first date. And a 25% chance of blowing your brains out.

Posted by: RobP at April 13, 2011 2:02 PM

Posted by: Robert at April 13, 2011 1:44 PM

Co-signed. (Duh-doy!)

Posted by: RobP at April 13, 2011 2:03 PM

I'm not the biggest Hugh Grant fan, but there's no denying that that was a brilliant article. The back and forth questions between the two were fascinating and really timely given the new phone hacking law suits. Thanks, Jo.

Posted by: beckster at April 13, 2011 2:23 PM

I loved that dino video, and the kids in it look like they are loving it. They're squealing but smiling.

Posted by: BWeaves at April 13, 2011 2:26 PM

all the bands average scores were over two. people who listen to pop music are just slutty. throw some pachabel or elgar in there, maybe some stockhausen or glitchcore and you might have something to compare the pop stats to.

Posted by: idleprimate at April 13, 2011 2:28 PM

Enjoy it, you monsters.

Don't you associate me with her fans!!!!!!!!

Posted by: Jay at April 13, 2011 2:46 PM

That dinosaur video just made my day.

Posted by: MelBivDevoe at April 13, 2011 2:55 PM

I love Hugh Grant and dinosaurs! Win!

Posted by: TWoP_Fan at April 13, 2011 3:37 PM

I am a GROWN ASS WOMAN and that dino vid made me want to run out of the room! Holy hell, that is like my worst nightmare come to life. I can't even handle the Easter Bunny at the mall, let alone THAT thing.
Scarred. For. Life.

Posted by: Lindsey with an 'e' at April 13, 2011 4:35 PM

Oh, I am entering the shit out of that Neil Gaiman contest.

/boss is out of the office this week.

//really bored.

Posted by: Intern Rusty at April 13, 2011 4:54 PM

@MissRos

Someone without any kind of musical taste?

Posted by: FabMax at April 13, 2011 5:01 PM

Slut!

Posted by: BarbadoSlim at April 13, 2011 5:14 PM

Alright then, FabMax person, prove your better taste.

Posted by: Jay at April 13, 2011 5:40 PM

Posted by: Kiddo at April 13, 2011 5:56 PM

If Wonder Woman lasts more than 3 episodes I'll be shocked.

Posted by: John W at April 13, 2011 6:02 PM

I wonder how it would cost to hire that dinosaur for a kid's party?

Posted by: John W at April 13, 2011 8:51 PM

Speaking of Feist, howsa 'bout a new album? It's alright, my ears have been long, long tuned on Emily Haines, anyway. It's okay.

Donald Glover's currently on a hot streak, but he's going to kill himself. Careful, friend.

Posted by: Jo 'Mama' Besser at April 13, 2011 9:36 PM

Given that I am a die hard Beatles fan, your chances of nailing me on the first date are 50/50.

I am also a die hard Beatles fan, JoRo, so together I think we have a 75% chance of nailing each other. Call me!

Posted by: Uriah Creep at April 14, 2011 6:28 AM

Jay, I don't have to prove anything.

Posted by: FabMax at April 14, 2011 2:37 PM

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Posted by: quit smoking at May 25, 2011 7:46 PM