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Sean Penn And Scarlett Johansson: Two Grating Tastes That Taste Grating Together

By Joanna Robinson | Posted Under Pajiba Love | Comments (31)

scarlett_johansson_buckley.jpeg

Happy Friday my darling darjeelings and randy rooibos. We begin today’s Love by throwing some affection at our lord and master, Pajiba Editor-in-chief and Ryan Reynolds enthusiast, Dustin Rowles. In all honesty (and not just because I’m angling for an increase in my salary of stale Peeps), Dustin does a fantastic job every single damn day even if he DOES run a pop-culture site and only just listened to Rebecca Black’s “Friday” today (the day before Saturday). So take a moment and read this interview Dustin gave about Pajiba and the publicity machine, then drop some love for him down in the comments. DO IT. (The Next Web)

Speaking of our tentacular overlord, how fetching are these squid-patterned fabrics? I would like a kicky skirt made from the last one. (Spoonflower)

I’d pair it with a T-Shirt homage to my favorite scathing and bitchy muppets and, to make matters twee, I’d paint my nails with newsprint. Or, oooo, binary!! (EPBOT)

Gird your loins, ladies and gents, for this “Doctor Who” Season Six prequel that should be popping on the BBC America website just as this column drops. (BBC America)

Are you giddy with joy at the prospect of Amy and Rory and the TARDIS and Matt Smith? Well allow me to put a damper on your ardor. Sean Penn+Scarlett Johansson=Creeping Heebie Jeebies. (Celebitchy)

Okay, lettuce return to the cute. Those mini-giraffes may not be real but this miniature horse is and now he can run. RUN, MINI-HORSE, RUN! (Urlesque)

Sucker Punch is meant to be rather exploitative in regards to female beauty, right? Then why was a rumpled Jon Hamm the prettiest thing at the premiere? A midriff, Jena Malone? Really? (Evil Beet)

Wow, that midriff comment made me sound like my grandmother. I should have said something more like, “Jena, love, your spleen is showing.” (Superpunch)

Did you like “The Wire?” Me too. Do you like Charles Dickens? Me too!! Do you like Dickensian illustrator “Phiz”?! ME T-Oh, I’m the only one? Okay. Check out this nifty article about the way in which “The Wire” follows the structures of the 19th century novel. No, it’s great I swear! You stopped reading at “Phiz,” didn’t you? (The Hooded Utilitarian)

Speaking of “The Wire,” this jaw-dropping time-lapse video from Terje Sorgjerd of an Aurora Borealis in Kirkenes, Norway made me utter an elegant, “Sheeeeeeeeeeeet.”

The Aurora from Terje Sorgjerd on Vimeo.

This video is lovingly dedicated to all my grammar bitches and picky pedants. This is also for those of you who get excited about the OED and love to “yoke impossible words together for the sound-sex of it.” In short, for my lovely, wordy, fussy Pajibans.

For the rest of you? Who just like a laugh? This is for you. I believe the lyrics are “I ain’t gonna pee-pee my bed tonight.” Preach, Little Lord Fauntleroy, preach.

Joanna Robinson will endeavor to ensure her bed remains unsullied this e’en.









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Comments

Ugh, why is Jena Malone still working and annoying me? Can she please take her square jaw and go?

Posted by: elizabeth at March 25, 2011 1:20 PM

You got that video on a tip from Ben Folds, didn't you?

I'm impressed, Dustin. You were oblivious to the Rebecca Black thing four days longer than I was.

Posted by: DarthCorleone at March 25, 2011 1:23 PM

That is the least freaked out I have ever been by squids, but I'm still not wearing something that will make me worry whither their tentacles!

My mother's favourite animal is the giraffe so I'm going to send her the lap version link and see how long it takes her to catch on.

My what a full life I do lead.

Posted by: Mrs. Julien at March 25, 2011 1:25 PM

Praise be to our illustrious leader Rowles, indeed, even though he is wrong about About A Boy. Keep up the great work, boss.

Re Scarlett and Sean: is it wrong for that to sound extremely appealing?

Posted by: Caspar at March 25, 2011 1:34 PM

I have a sudden need for Penguin Calligram fabric.

http://www.spoonflower.com/fabric/279678

I mean, come on, I'm not made of stone!

Posted by: Mrs. Julien at March 25, 2011 1:35 PM

Awwwwww, Midnight totally wins.

Posted by: JenVegas at March 25, 2011 1:38 PM

They have ALPHABET FABRIC Joanna!

ALPHABET FABRIC!

I continue lead a full and ennervating life.

Posted by: Mrs. Julien at March 25, 2011 1:38 PM

Just finished reading that Dickensian review of "The Wire". Truly, truly awesome.

Posted by: Fredo at March 25, 2011 1:41 PM

It may be skeevy to witness, but you have to wish you were in Sean's shoes @ 50, just for one day.

Posted by: idiosynchronic at March 25, 2011 1:41 PM

Before I even read this STOP WITH THE ADS WITH SOUND! You are totally blowing up my spot at work on a regular basis these days and it is making me not wanna come over and play.

Posted by: KatSings at March 25, 2011 1:42 PM

Ok that kid might not pee his bed tonight, but i peed watching it.

Posted by: Odnon. at March 25, 2011 1:53 PM

I saw the Stephen Fry video a while back and it never gets old. The way he whips those words together gives me chills every time. The man is an absolute treasure and he's always my answer to the question, "If you could have dinner with anyone living or dead who would it be?"

Posted by: beckster at March 25, 2011 1:57 PM

And I totally want to use Randy Rooibos as my wrestling name.

Posted by: Odnon. at March 25, 2011 1:59 PM

Grammar Bitch feels appropriately admonished, and will be packing her punctuation pole and conjugation cuffs away for the time being. She will be off on a torrid tryst with Captain Obvious for the duration.

Posted by: Lindsey with an 'e' at March 25, 2011 2:02 PM

Whatever a Rebecca Black is I'm sure I don't care...

Posted by: seth at March 25, 2011 2:10 PM

"If you could have dinner with anyone living or dead who would it be?"
Posted by: beckster at March 25, 2011 1:57 PM

-the living one, of course.
(not my joke)

Posted by: Odnon. at March 25, 2011 2:16 PM

i love stephen fry. i think i shall speak in an oxford english accent all day.

cheerio!

Posted by: Angry Black Lady at March 25, 2011 2:18 PM

Mini Horses are from the DEVIL, and genetic fuck ups like this one are part of the reason why they shouldn't exist in the first place, but that article also has it wrong. I remember seeing a story years ago (pre-internet) about a stallion who lost the lower part of a hind limb to an accident and was successfully fitted with a prosthetic. He was a very valuable breeding animal, and a full sized FUNCTIONAL horse. What is far more remarkable about THAT is that horses are usually destroyed when leg is maimed or lost because grown full sized horses cannot live without the ability to remain on their feet. Their cardiovascular and digestive systems need them to be at least verticle, if not mobile. Their own body weight can slowly collapse their rib cage (like a beached whale) and the likelihood of intestinal torsion is a near certainty over time. Being a 3-legged horse is almost impossible because they will develop infections and inflammations due to the pressure on the remaining limb that become excruciatingly painful, and ultimately cause structural failure of the hoof. This is what killed Barbaro, the race horse who famously broke his leg a few years ago. The broken leg healed, the sound one developed infections and pressure abscesses from bearing all the weight for so long while the bone healed on the other hind leg. Foals and ponies can get away with it sometimes, their tissues and bones are stronger in relation to their body mass than full sized horses.
So, in short: I hate minis.

http://fuglyblog.com/?p=663

Posted by: Lindsey with an 'e' at March 25, 2011 2:21 PM

Gramma Robinson dont like the midriff.

Posted by: logan at March 25, 2011 2:21 PM

This site almost, ALMOST tricked me into listening to that damn song. But it will not happen.
And that Stephen Fry video is definitely getting forwarded to my mom, who works as a editor and is a self-professed "Miss Language Person".

Posted by: Jim Doggie at March 25, 2011 2:28 PM

Preach on Stephen Fry! He said, much more eloquently and succinctly, what I and others tried to say a long while back on a thread about the phrase "I could care less."

I love making the sex with words, I do it on almost daily basis. My two favorite language spawns, which, as far as I know, I created: radass (naturally) and adequadacity (the audacity to be adequate).

Oh, and I totally spelled Dustin's last name wrong on the comment I left at The Next Web. I pray to Godtopus he doesn't banish me.

Posted by: RobP at March 25, 2011 2:43 PM

You know how sometimes you like, hear a message you left on someone's answering machine and your all OMG my voice sounds so WIERD? And you get sorta self conscience and your like, do I really SOUND like that?

Posted by: Rebecca Black at March 25, 2011 2:56 PM

I can only imagine the conversations that Scarlett and Sean have together. If their own senses of self importance could take visceral form, they would collide in a hailstorm of hubris and misinformation the likes of which haven't been seen since Sarah Palin was in a room by herself.

Just because you can act (well, one of you) or you have a ridiculous body (again, one of you), and you skim the front page of a newspaper, it doesn't make you an expert on world affairs or books or whatever else you talk about. I weep for the future if they bred, but then again, the way the world is going, their offspring may become President one day.

Posted by: Rubble44 at March 25, 2011 3:49 PM

and Joanna, I have this tshirt, I love it very much.

http://www.80stees.com/products/Statler-and-Waldorf-Muppets-T-shirt.asp

Posted by: Rubble44 at March 25, 2011 3:55 PM

Ha, not even the Belgians will eat them.

Posted by: Peanut at March 25, 2011 4:16 PM

I've seen that pee-pee video embedded on seven-ish different websites since yesterday. Is there an urolagniac holiday I'm not aware of?

Posted by: schmerpes at March 25, 2011 5:50 PM

Gods help us! The Kelly Family! Run! Run for your lives!

Posted by: FabMax at March 25, 2011 6:31 PM

JoRo, that is the second cute animal video you have posted this week! I think we're slowly wearing you down. Soon you'll be watching cute puppy videos and will be heard exclaiming, "it's so fuzzy I could DIE!" Oh yes, it's going to happen.

I didn't think the Sucker Punch premiere was that bad (and Carla Gugino always looks lovely) until I got to Emily Browning. She is such a gorgeous girl and she had to go with unwashed emo for her look? Poor form, Ms. Browning. Oh and in the incredibly awkwardly posed photo of Jena Malone, she looks like a mini-Celine Dion. Seriously, go give it another look.

That Northern Lights video is absolutely gorgeous.

Posted by: Even Stevens at March 26, 2011 12:55 AM

Yet another language disaster is being perpetrated as we speak.

Adding to my lengthy list of annoyances, the style mavens at The Associated Press have decreed that there shall be no hyphen in e-mail. How moronic is that? Email. It looks like a name from the Old Testament. eh-MAY-l. Wasn’t he one of those guys who got tossed into the fiery furnace? Shadrach, Meshach and Email? Or maybe he was one of Noah’s sons, with Ham and Japeth (I think that’s them, and BTW: mmmmmmmmm, ham, and I don't mean you-know-who).

With all the horrendously written lead paragraphs I see AP churn out every day, truly terrible writing, they’re fussing with hyphens.

Hell in a handbasket, people.

Posted by: , at March 26, 2011 10:46 AM

Yes on email! Yes yes yes, it looks so bizarre on paper! I've had to completely readjust my work thoughts because of it. You really don know how many time a day you write e-mail until you are really consciously fixated on it.

Posted by: Denesteak at March 26, 2011 12:10 PM

I thought autocorrect is supposed to catch my grammar and spelling mistakes? And AP-style them too?

Posted by: Denesteak at March 26, 2011 12:12 PM