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Scarlett Johansson's New Look Is What I Like to Call "Sexy Stepford Superhero"

By Dustin Rowles | Pajiba Love | November 13, 2012 | Comments ()


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The ratings for NBC's "Revolution" are finally starting to slip, as the rest of America slowly comes to the realization that THIS SHOW IS A PIECE OF SH*T. (EW)

Funny story: Janeane Garofalo was married to a "Big Bang Theory" writer (formerly a writer on "The Ben Stiller Show") for over 20 years, and totally forgot about it until the writer needed a divorce to get re-married. (NY Post)

Am I the only one who confuses Olivia D'Abo and Melissa George? Well, the confusion ends now because Olivia D'Abo is probably a very sweet and lovely woman, while Melissa George is a total dick. (WG)

Disney Land's Thunder Mountain ride is being turned into a television show. Seriously, network television: Just put the pistol in your mouth and pull the goddamn trigger. (Variety)

Here's 10 strange Golden Globe musical snubs. Wait, what? Purple Rain wuz robbed! Fat Prince is so unhappy about this. (The Film Experience)

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James Franco -- who won a very important blogger award this week -- apparently fell asleep while watching Skyfall over the weekend, although, to be fair, I also fell asleep for about 15 minutes. Then again, that's the longest stretch of uninterrupted sleep I've had in nine months. Franco is just kind of a dolt. (Vulture)

From V Magazine ahead of the release of Hitchock, this is one of the more bizarre outfit combinations I've ever witnessed:

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It's the Amber Heard grin that sells it.

Meanwhile, on the other side of the gender equation, Chris Hemsworth has been named Man of the Year by GQ magazine, although he wastes a perfectly good shirt here BY WEARING IT. (GQ)

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I was just telling Mrs. Pajiba-hyphenate the other day that, once the old white Baby Boomer men die off, women will pretty much control everything. That's not such a bad thing for white dudes, either. (Jezebel)

Speaking of men, a study has been released that SHOCKINGLY reports that women prefer men with large penises. Damnit, well there's goes two decades of anecdotal evidence to the contrary. (NY Daily News)

Speaking of studies, our post on why women prefer men with beards also posited that there was a sweet spot between clean shaven and mountain beard. Joe Manganiello has clearly crossed to the other side. (Celebitchy)

Wanna turn your Barbie-loving daughter into a Doctor Who fan? Here are chilling instructions on how to convert a Barbie into a Weeping Angel. (Unreality)

The Hobbit soundtrack is free and available online. (FSR)

You know how dumb I am? Here's how dumb I am: Stardust is seriously one of my favorite under appreciated films of the last decade, and I totally forgot that Charlie Cox was the lead in that. I'm so blinded by his Boardwalk Empire role that I didn't even place that he'd also been in "Downton Abbey.

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The bizarre thing is that it took an appearance on Jimmy Fallon -- where Cox looked unrecognizable compared to the above roles -- to jigger that connection in my mind.




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Comments Are Welcome, Douches Are Not


  • Sara_Tonin00

    Godtopus Bless Cee-Lo for bringing the fabulous cray-cray to middle America.

  • googergieger

    Alright guys I admit it. I shot the sheriff. But in my defense I thought he was the deputy. And that guy is a dick.

  • pinkerton80

    Janeane Garofalo, why has thou forsaken us?

  • Candee

    Haha! I did the same things a few weeks ago. I kept thinking to myself, "Goddamn that guy looks so familiar. I know him from somewhere else." Then it dawned on me and it was like a bomb went off. Sadly I just moved...and I do not own Stardust. I might go buy it tomorrow.

  • Fabius_Maximus

    I can't be the only one who remembers Melissa George from "Dark City".

  • Lee

    I come from Australia, but I think of Dark City and 30 Days of Night when I think of Melissa George, not Home and Away (though I remember her). She can stay over there for all I give a shit.

  • Hemmmmmmmmmmsworth. Mmmmmm.

    He really should just NEVER wear a shirt. Or at least any shirt with sleeves. Ugh, GQ. Don't you know ANYTHING.

  • Sara_Tonin00

    It's wrapping paper. I'm just waiting for Christmas morning.

  • Anna von Beav

    Jesus, the shoulder-to-hip ratio on that man is just sublime. It's like the Platonic shoulder-to-hip ratio ideal.

  • Four Eyes

    Preach on, sister. Preach on.

  • Slash

    Ok, that "we were married for 20 years and didn't realize it" story is my favorite one of the day.

  • ClaireB

    Yes ! STARDUST. Thank you.

  • Blake

    I always thought Melissa George was Chandra West. I swore she died in the CSI:LV pilot...

  • Wembley

    I believe you'll find the correct term is clitoris.

    As in-'Melissa George is a total clitoris.'

  • Ley

    Seeing that ScarJo pic and her other pic from the article about loneliness above this article makes me think how much I prefer ScarJo from Lost In Translation over any other ScarJo.

  • Belkwinith

    scar jo - Solid Gold from 1982 called. They want their cheese back.

  • Anyone who watched Alias season 3 already knew that Melissa George was a dick.

  • hater from siloam springs

    AND, while I am here today, Olivia D'Abo is made out of wild honey, the purr of a kitten, and fresh baked bread. Anyone who says otherwise will be one cut-up bitch.

  • Long_Pig_Tailor

    Does anybody not like Olivia D'Abo? The woman's like the sexy, human version of Sara Lee.

  • John G.

    Size matters because it makes men feel confident, and confident men are better lovers. Better lovers lead to better orgasms for their sexual partners.

  • Sara_Tonin00

    Actually, a lot of times confident men are crappy lovers, because they don't think they need to try. They think just being there is enough.

  • John G.

    you know, you're right.

  • BWeaves

    I think you're confusing cause and effect here. Men feel confident because they know that women feel size matters. Also, if the penis is lost in your (ok, my) vagina, it's a little hard (cough, cough) to get an orgasm. It takes filling, you know.

    Favorite bad advertizing slogan: Trojans: Feels like there's nothing there.

  • John G.

    Well, until this study, men have been told that size doesn't matter to women, and it was supported by a lot of science that size really mattered between men. When they study where people look, men tend to look at crotches way more than women, even if the crotch is a dog crotch. There's a lot of male-competing-with-male sexual selection at work here, making penis size a male issue, at least until this study. The idea has always been that penises don't tend to stimulate the clitoris no matter how big they are. So, one conclusion has been that what a big penis does is give a man confidence that leads to the other benefits. If this study is correct, it would contradict all of that evidence, and suggest that women too are involved in this sexual selection of the size of a penis.

  • Sara_Tonin00

    Also: I'm pretty sure that's not what the "idea has always been" since clitoral stimulation barely factored into men's sexual consciousness until about 40 years ago.

  • John G.

    40 years to me is always

  • Slash

    I've always thought that was the worst tagline ever. For a rubber, anyway. It'd be a good one for a tampon, bad for a rubber.

  • hater from siloam springs

    Let me just remind you that FINALLY ScarJo looks like the Black Widow

    http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-RMMF...

    She just needs the wig.

  • Long_Pig_Tailor

    It sounds terrible, but I always had a suspicion she was kind of a dick. Some sort of vibe she gave off.

  • Natallica

    After all, she dated Russell Simmons. Girl is not ok on the membrane

  • kushiro -

    The first thing (okay, second thing) I thought when I saw that pic is that ScarJo looks like Kathleen Turner mid-1990s (i.e. just before whatever transformation she went under kicked in).

  • You're forgiven for confusing the two blonde Aussies.

  • Patrick Garcia

    I would have sex with Charlie Cox. No homo

  • Boy, those ScarJo breasts fluctuate quite a bit, don't they? What does she have, some sort of valve mechanism on the side? And does she need a pair of lips to assist with the weekend pump up?

  • Sara_Tonin00

    THIS JUST IN: Women's breasts fluctuate with time of month, weight and age!

    (fill in the 1010 WINS ditty yourself)

    Also...that's from a magazine spread, people. She's not choosing those clothes.

  • Miss Laaw-yuhr

    I think they're the normal size, it just depends on the underwear as to weather they get rounded out or headed up.

    She's a pretty girl, so I'm really just confused by the whole ensemble. I get the 50's femme fatale part...but this is like one of those dreams where you forget your clothing, in this case, a shirt. Also the black bra - because it most definitely is a bra - looks like granny underwear. The fact that it's black does not necessarily sexify it. Not to mention that there's also some sort of bolero jacket awkwardly fastened around her shoulders as though to say "Not only no shirt, but certainly no sleeves for me!". Once they got her into this they must have told her to smile like a serial killer and threw in some blinds because this shoot is noir, bitches. So if the look they were trying to achieve was noir granny serial killer fatale dream...mission accomplished, er, I guess. In short, a waste of shirtless ScarJo.

  • Guest

    I know, right? How dare she insist on doing her own wardrobe when the studio has access to all those costume people?

  • Bert_McGurt

    "Just in time for Christmas, Victoria's Secret is proud to partner with Reebok to bring you, for a limited time - The Scarlett."

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