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Sam Raimi Has Done Some Great And Powerful Things In His Career. This Mila Kunis Sh*tshow Isn't One Of Them.

By Joanna Robinson | Pajiba Love | February 28, 2013 | Comments ()


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When's the last time I did a Pajiba Love for y'all? Seems like a long time ago. (*clap clap*) Let's dive right in, shall we, with this unofficial "Veronica Mars" cast reunion photo. Face it, you're all marshmallows when it comes to this show. (WS)

Scientists have discovered a fossil that 530 million years old. I hate to break it to them, but I'm pretty sure Earl and Val discovered that thing back in 1990. (LS)

Confession, one of my biggest weaknesses as a non-parent is judging parents on their parenting when they parent. This article basically came across to me as "wah, laptops aren't good at parenting my kid for me...make them touch screen." I judge. I know I'll change my tune when I'm permanently sticky and exhausted. But for now, I judge. (Slate)

Because if I had my druthers, I would raise the kind of kid who wants to mail sticks back to park rangers. (BioTV)

H/T to Internet Magpie for this absolutely chilling, interactive feature on a California serial killer who is still on the loose. (LA Mag)

Speaking of blood curdling, the amazing Kathy Bates will be joining Season 3 of "American Horror Story" and the writers claim this is the scariest role she's ever tackled. Scarier than "Harry's Law"? Don't make me laugh. (TVLine)

Our beloved Khaleesi, Emilia Clarke, will be starring in a stage version of "Breakfast At Tiffany's." Intriguing. But it would be even more intriguing if they replaced "Cat" with dragons. (Playbill)
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Speaking of Audrey Hepburn, have you seen this absolutely terrifying chocolate commercial with a reanimated, CGI'd version of her? This is some Benjamin Buttons sh*t.

Best group costume ever? Best group costume ever. (BioTV)

The Wicked Witch of the West graces the cover of "Entertainment Weekly" this week. Oh, my sweet Kunis, what have you done? (Comic Book Movie)

Somehow I missed the fact that David Bowie and Tilda Swinton have collaborated on a music project. How very, very Looper. (GGD)
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I don't know for certain that I'll ever be in a situation where I'll need to wriggle out of handcuffs, but I definitely think I should purchase this spy ring. Just in cases. (Boing Boing)

Lindelof made up for 3.5 bad seasons of "Lost" by tearing into Justin Bieber and his buffoonish hat on Twitter. (Uproxx)

In case you hadn't seen it yet, this is what Bieber looked like in that hat.
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Speaking of Twitter, last night Lena Dunham tweeted out her approval for this dead-on impression. So haters and lovers alike can enjoy this Zero Dark Thirty audition.

And, finally, hideous, depraved confession time. I've had that Seth MacFarlane boob song stuck in my head since Sunday. At least now I can sing new lyrics. Here's the equally immature "We Saw Your Junk" featuring two of my favorite, oft-naked Gingers.



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Comments Are Welcome, Douches Are Not


  • Stony Tony

    "Lindelof made up for 3.5 bad seasons of “Lost”" First off, he never will be able to do that. Secondly, and even more important, he will never, EVER, EVER EVER EVER make up Prometheus. It was his script that molested the entire film into the shit-salami sandwich it is.

  • Buck Forty

    No love for Jamie Fox's junk in Django Unchained?

  • Mrs. Julien

    Yay! We saw your junk! I had faith that the internet would provide and it did. It came true!

  • minxy

    That fossil looks like Zoidberg.

  • Sara_Tonin00

    Is Mila the Wicked Witch or Weisz? Even Mila and Michelle Williams are coming off badly in that preview.

    The Girls/Zero Dark Thirty - brilliant.

  • Ben

    Tilda Swanton as Bowie is everything I never knew I always wanted.

  • MissAmynae

    Double Sploosh.

  • Tinkerville

    Damon Lindelof's surprisingly hilarious when he's angry. His delightful hatred of Fancy Feast is one of the main reasons I have a Twitter account.

  • Slash

    I did enjoy "We Saw Your Junk." It's catchy.

  • Drake

    The Slate article is dead-on. There comes a time when you would disembowel your grandmother for 10 minutes of quiet time.

  • Utopian

    Joanna, if you're in a hurry to know what it's like to be a parent, I would gladly impregnate you for that Tremors reference alone.

  • John G.

    I don't get it? What's wrong with the Kunis picture?

  • ,

    Nothing as long as I can imagine her saying, "I'm up against the wall
    and I've spread 'em. So, you gonna fuckin' frisk me or what?"

  • Mel C.

    That VM reunion pic makes me happier than I should probably admit.

  • This is totally a safe space to admit something like that. It made me happy, too.

  • ellcoolj

    That Beiber-Lindelof was one of the funner ways I have wasted time in a long time... I follow him on Twitter for a reason, but I missed this somehow!

  • Slash

    That group costume - LOL.

  • Guest

    wins the internet for the day. lol

  • Puddin

    She looks like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So she's got that going for her...

  • BWeaves

    Love the junior park ranger's stick return. That kid is going to grow up with all sorts of Jewish mother guilt issues (or Catholic mother guilt issues).

    Loved the group costume.

    Love the Bowie and Swinton pic. They so get it.

  • BendinIntheWind

    I want to punch that Oz movie in the face SO bad.

  • lowercase_ryan

    I told y'all, Kutcher seed corrodes.

  • Kballs

    At least all the Munchkins and people of Oz will die with boners.

  • Sara_Tonin00

    Yup. She must truly be a wicked witch if she gives all the female munchkins dick. That's a terrible, terrible curse.

  • Kballs

    I believe "lady boner" is a common term in the Jibaverse, is it not?

  • ,

    twirl the squirrel

    buzz the fuzz

    stir the fur

  • SottoVoce

    Twirl the squirrel FTW!

  • Sara_Tonin00

    Yeah, it's used. I hate that term. :P You'd think Pajibans would be able to come up with a good term for female arousal. We never hear guys say "I man wet." (can you make that start happening?)

    (also, blah blah blah I don't want to hear about engorged cl!ts; I don't know any woman who uses that as her go-to indicator)

  • Kballs

    I'm sure Joanna and Pinky can help you out there. Or just read the articles and comments about Cumberbatch, JGL, Fassbender, etc. It's like the Olympics of lady-parts metaphors in there.

  • Sara_Tonin00

    I AM SO FUCKING HAPPY RIGHT NOW READING THESE that I just used all caps.

  • Pinky McLadybits

    KEGEL MUSCLES ENGAGED!
    Panty soup is a bubblin'!
    Time to feed the furnace another log!

  • Pinky McLadybits

    Vaginal indicators set to SPLOOSH!
    The little man in the boat wants to say hi!

  • Sara_Tonin00

    oh, man, that little man is both disgusting and hilarious. (can't it be a bald little female?)

  • Pinky McLadybits

    I guess it could. Hmm.

  • Sara_Tonin00

    "the little lady in the boat"

  • Kballs

    The gondola is afloat!
    The crotch flower is blooming!
    Female tumescence!
    Gooshy! (H/T Ellen Page)

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