Ryan Seacrest and Julianna Hough's Relationship Is So Life-Like that It's Hard to Believe They Were Built in a Lab
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Ryan Seacrest and Julianna Hough's Relationship Is So Life-Like that It's Hard to Believe They Were Built in a Lab

By Dustin Rowles | Pajiba Love | June 6, 2012 | Comments ()


I actually kind of dig Julianna Hough for what she is: A manufactured facsimile of an actual actress whose only defining characteristic is that she sounds like she smokes two packs a day. In other words, she's perfect for Ryan Seacrest. I'm looking forward to the first wedding between two corporate-simulated human beings. I'm pretty sure they were invented by Veridian Dynamics and when they turn 40, they turn into nuclear weapons. (NYDailyNews)

Did you know that the classy publication known as The Huffington Post has an entire section devoted to side-boob? I wish we'd thought of it first, damnit. (Side Boob)

How awesome is "New Girl's" Schmidt? He wrote love letters to "Downton Abbey's" Mrs. Patmore, Carrie Mathison from "Homeland," and "Game of Throes'" Daenerys. Oh No Girl! You a Dragon Queen. (WarmingGlow)

Look: I love Instagram, because it's the perfect app for lame Dads who like to use filters to show off their adorable children. But Instagrammed websites? Now you're just making lame Dads look cooler by comparison. (Uproxx)

Using Google Maps, a New York City radio station has pinpointed all the restaurants that characters from "Mad Men" have eaten at so far. I just want to go to the one where Lane Pryce showed off his steak belt buckle. (WCNY)


A few years ago, I wrote about the Gender Politics and Complex Sexual Identity Issues of Amanda Bynes' She's the Man, never knowing that Bynes herself would end up one of those addled former child stars. The latest? Apparently, she was charged with a DUI even though she doesn't drink, guys, and now she's asking President Obama for help. NATURALLY. I'm certain he's going to put aside his re-election efforts and focus all of his energy here. (DListed)

Do you ever find yourself in a situation where you'd like to scream but you're in an inappropriate setting, then have we got the perfect gift for you! (Videogum)

Here are the five best plane crashes in cinema, you know, in case you need to add to the arsenal of nightmarish daydreams you have during turbulence. Just me? (Unreality)

Battlestar Galactica Viper plushes? Sure, why not. You people with discretionary income buy the craziest things. I'm still saving to buy a goldfish that looks just like the one in Jerry Maguire. (QMX)

Do you like playing dress up? Do you like HBO's "Girls"? How about your very own "Girls" paper dolls? (Vulture)

Aww, poor John Mayer is "humiliated" by a song that Taylor Swift wrote about him. F*ck you, John. You know who has the right to be humiliated about a song written about him? Ben Affleck. Because it's the worst song ever written. (Celebitchy)

Anyone else think that Matthew Weiner is endangering Kiernan Shipka (who plays Sally Draper) by making her the possible target of creepy perverts? No? Just this crazy TV critic? (WG)

FYI: If you're on LinkedIn, you need to change your password. (Metafilter)

You remember that 8-bit game from that episode of "Community"? Well, fans have created a playable version of it. (Flavorwire)

These 13 Facts about animal brains made me feel a little squicky reading them. (Neatorama)

You know what that high-school diploma you have is worth? Diddly piss. (Gawker)

FSR makes an interesting argument that Steven Spielberg's Hook might be a classic on par with The Wizard of Oz if it were released in 1939. Maybe, but the special effects work would probably get Spielberg burned for witchcraft. (FSR)

Not every movie should have a director's cut. Here are 13 that are weakened by them. (AV Club)

I'll leave you with this GIF of poor Mitt Romney losing a game of Jenga.


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