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Rihanna Appears On The Cover Of Rolling Stone Wearing More Hair Than Clothes. I Am Fine With This.

By Joanna Robinson | Posted Under Pajiba Love | Comments (43)



rihanna_red_hair.jpeg

My dearest, darlingest dimmest bulbs. Don’t worry, my low-wattage Wunderkinds, I mean it as a compliment. Last Saturday the world celebrated Earth Hour, which saw nations around the globe shutting off their power to raise awareness for energy use and global change. I know I keep linking to this site, but honestly this particular set is a marvel. You can click on images of the world’s most famous electrified skylines and watch them dim via time lapse. It’s a great idea, and, to me, it feels like turning down the dial on some loud music. Very tranquil. (The Big Picture)

You know what else was reasonably tranquil? That protests in London last week. This piece in the Daily Mail shows a fair and bal-AHHHHHH. Gotcha. Sorry, folks, apparently I linked to a total rag yesterday. I had no idea. Here “The Guardian” (WHICH I KNOW TO BE TOTALLY [mostly] REPUTABLE) takes an interesting look at what happens when the hue and cry of a protest is over. Also, Caspar, you didn’t tell me your gran was political. (The Guardian)

I would have been better off, by the way, letting my gran pick my NCAA bracket. How’s yours going? Mine is totally dead in the water. In fact, according to ESPN, amongst the eleventy billion brackets they received, only two folks correctly guessed the final four. BUTLER?!?!? REALLY!??! (With Leather)

My borked bracket fills me with despair and ennui (no it doesn’t). When I’m in a despairing and ennui-filled mood, I like to turn to cheery comics such as Garfield Minus Garfield or this one. (3eanuts)

If those peppy strips fail to cheer me, I like to play games. Pictionary, anyone? BABY FISH MOUTH! (The High Definite)

To the one person (probably my sister) who gets that Baby Fish Mouth reference, I salute you. Here’s something we can all get. The lovely and (probably) talented Rihanna is showing a significant amount of bum on the cover of Rolling Stone. I’m not really certain why they bothered with the shreds of material some people are charitably calling “shorts.” Seriously, Rolling Stone, more derriere less “What’s going on there?!?” (Socialite Life)

I’m going to give you three pieces of Neil Gaiman news because I love you so. First, if you click on the following hyperlinked text, you’ll find out the title of the Gaiman-penned “Doctor Who” episode. It’s very spoilery. Probably…maybe. Don’t click! Don’t even click! Secondly, apparently the same folks that are making the new Pratchett TV series are adapting my favorite book “Good Omens.” It’ll be a mini-series. If it sucks, I may have to track down and murder one of the Monty Python boys. And, finally, Neil Gaiman’s most respected novel, “American Gods,” is being made into a feature film…an apparently the director has scads of Oscars, but Neil won’t tell us who it is. TELL US, NEIL. (Bleeding Cool)

Speaking of amazing writers, I’m sort of in love with the people who write Barack Obama’s speeches. They make me feel patriotic. I didn’t know that was possible. I made a word cloud of yesterday’s speech on the U.S. involvement in Libya. You can see video of the full speech here. (Youtube)

I even made the Word Cloud Red White and Blue! If you click it, it’ll get all big-like in another window.

libya speech.jpg

Speaking of words, words, words. Did you know that couples who mimic each other’s speech patterns are more likely to last? The reasons are kind of ooky and Oedipal, but the science is neat. (The Mary Sue)

Speaking of neat! Commenter Rob P. interviewed Brian Clevinger and Scott Wegener, the creators of Atomic Robo, on his podcast. He claims it’s a big deal, I know nothing about comics so I believe him. Either way, Rob is a great guy and I know you’re DYING to hear what he sounds like. So give it a listen! (Grim and The JC)

You know what else I know nothing about, really? Video games. And that’s too bad because apparently I’m four years too late to one of the greatest puns of all-time. That’s right. GNOME CHOMPSKI. Here’s a fan-made trailer for a fake Chompski-centric video game. LINGUIST PUNS!

From chainsaws to katanas…please enjoy this awesome video sent in by reader Shibuyama wherein a dancer/martial artist, battles shadows. The shadow video is all set, so if the dancer is off in timing or positioning at all, the performance doesn’t work. It’s really pretty incredible, so enjoy!

Joanna Robinson wonders why they made Gnomeo and Juliet when they could have made Gnome Chompski. Let her know of any other gnome puns she’s missing here: godtopuswept@gmail.com









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Comments

yeah because everyone finds a big ass, no tits and huge thighs attractive...

Posted by: maka at March 29, 2011 1:03 PM

Baby Fish Mouth

Bruno Kirby!

Posted by: Forbiddendonut at March 29, 2011 1:03 PM

That Rihanna cover is nothing to get in a huff over.

And I'm still hoping "Good Omens" will be made with John Cusack as Crowley and John Malkovich as Aziraphale.

Posted by: Fredo at March 29, 2011 1:04 PM

I think VCU is the big Final Four suprise here, Joanna. Butler almost won the whole thing last year. Get your exasperated outrage straightened out, young missy.

Posted by: Kballs at March 29, 2011 1:08 PM

To the one person


You severely underestimate me.

I can't really see past the Sideshow Bob but...

because everyone finds a big ass, no tits and huge thighs attractive


Oh, Jesus. Define "no", please?

And by "big ass" and "huge thighs" you mean.....womanly shape?

Posted by: Jay at March 29, 2011 1:14 PM

Baby fish mouth! I love that scene.

Posted by: Julie at March 29, 2011 1:17 PM

And someone please explain why our panties are in a bunch about Libya's oppression when Sub-Saharan Africa is a shitstorm of human rights violations and non-stop genocide that we so conveniently ignore. Fucking ridiculous. Different president, same bullshit.

Posted by: Kballs at March 29, 2011 1:18 PM

Does anyone have a razor blade? I found those abbreviated Peanuts cartoons a bit disheartening and I'm sure one or two small nicks will give me the release I crave.

Posted by: Mrs. Julien at March 29, 2011 1:18 PM

But how is your Fug Madness bracket? I am heartbroken over The Family Smith's loss ...

Posted by: Samantha at March 29, 2011 1:26 PM

There's basically no way I won't be disappointed by the Good Omens mini series.

Posted by: fenchurch at March 29, 2011 1:26 PM

God dammit, I'm low voltage because I'm fluorescent. And I'm not dim, I just take a minute to warm up.

Posted by: Robb at March 29, 2011 1:28 PM

Not even a mention of Farley Granger's death?

Rope was one of the films that influenced my love of good cinema at an early age.

Posted by: PaddyDog at March 29, 2011 1:29 PM

Neil Gaiman also wrote a beautiful and touching article about the children's author, Diana Wynne Jones, who died this week of lung cancer.

http://journal.neilgaiman.com/2011/03/being-alive.html

Posted by: sevenstories at March 29, 2011 1:29 PM

Regarding the Guardian, glad you put the '[mostly]' in there. They are the best of the mainstream corporate press, but, to quote Doug Stanhope, that's like being the prettiest Denny's waitress.

Posted by: zeke the pig at March 29, 2011 1:34 PM

Amen K'balls. Same shit, different day.

Posted by: logar at March 29, 2011 1:34 PM

And someone please explain why our panties are in a bunch about Libya's oppression when Sub-Saharan Africa is a shitstorm of human rights violations and non-stop genocide that we so conveniently ignore. Fucking ridiculous. Different president, same bullshit.

Posted by: Kballs at March 29, 2011 1:18 PM

----------

Talking of the Guardian,

http://www.guardian.co.uk/commentisfree/2011/mar/29/libya-west-tripoli-arab-world-gaddafi

Selective vigilantism is a good pair of words.

At the risk of wearing my political beliefs on my sleeve, long live Chomsky, Ali, Klein, Zinn, and all their kin!

Posted by: zeke the pig at March 29, 2011 1:36 PM

Everyone knows Baby Fish Mouth. It's sweeping the nation. You'll hear them talking.

Posted by: pxilated at March 29, 2011 1:40 PM

And I know I'm almost spamming this thread now, but this is one of the few truth-telling (and damn well written to boot) organisations we have here in the UK:

http://www.medialens.org/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id=608:noble-war-in-libya-part-1&catid=24:alerts-2011&Itemid=68

Posted by: zeke the pig at March 29, 2011 1:41 PM

Oh I get Baby Fish Mouth. In fact I might put it on Facebook and see who else gets it...

Also (describing an ex's current girlfriend) "tall, skinny, big tits- your basic nightmare" is still my favorite line.

Posted by: bananapanda at March 29, 2011 1:42 PM

And someone please explain why our panties are in a bunch about Libya's oppression when Sub-Saharan Africa is a shitstorm of human rights violations and non-stop genocide that we so conveniently ignore.

Libya has oil. You better believe that if Darfur did, we'd be showing those genocidal douchebags gnomercy. (Just for you Joanna)

Posted by: Lennon at March 29, 2011 1:50 PM

Gnome Chompski!!! I just rescued him from the Dark Carnival yesterday!!! I bought Left 4 Dead 2 last week for me and the boyfriend and have been obsessed with it. Zombie slaughter is the perfect stress relief from MBA work. That trailer was fantastic.

Posted by: Jesstastic! at March 29, 2011 1:54 PM

Thank you, JoRo, you are an officer and a gentlewoman. Though, I mostly meant it was a big deal for our podcast, not necessarily, y'know, the world.

Maybe I'll try to get Neil Gaiman on, then you'll understand.

Posted by: RobP at March 29, 2011 2:06 PM

I'm not always the biggest fan of Joanna's writing style, but I will say this: how awesome is it that she actually TAKES constructive criticism (re: the Daily Mail thing) instead of ignoring it or getting bitchy like the last guy? It's really great. Go Joanna! You da bomb.

Posted by: Marcela at March 29, 2011 2:10 PM

And I'm not dim, I just take a minute to warm up.

The motto of sexually-frustrated women everywhere...

Posted by: Patty O'Green at March 29, 2011 2:12 PM

My sister told me decades ago that I talk like my husband. 30 years together and counting.

SPOILERS, sort of.

RE: Neil Gaiman's Dr. Who story. I don't know why his episode title is spoilery. Maybe they're going to flesh out the time The Doctor married Queen Elizabeth I.

The first Doctor traveled with his grandaughter for years. And "The Doctor's Daughter" didn't turn out to be who you thought she'd be, and neither did "The Next Doctor," so I think this episode title is designed to get you worked up.

Besides, the Doctor is over 900 years old. If he hasn't had more than one SPOILER thing by now, I'd be surprised.

Posted by: BWeaves at March 29, 2011 2:20 PM

I've fought shadows, too, but they always beat me by sundown.

Posted by: Robert at March 29, 2011 2:40 PM

Eh, Good Omens. It wanted to be Hitchhiker's so, so badly, and it failed so miserably.

American Gods, though? That movie can only kick all kinds of ass. It must, or I will cry.

I shout out "BABY FISH MOUTH!" every time we play Pictionary with my in-laws. They never get it.

Posted by: figgy at March 29, 2011 2:47 PM

Also: Jeebus, someone cut off Rhianna's Sideshow Bob hair already. It makes me twitch.

Posted by: figgy at March 29, 2011 2:48 PM

Also also: Is Rolling Stone the epitome of class, or what? There's an ass in nothing but strings of sparkly chainmail right next to the words "WORSE THAN ABU GRAHIB" and "WAR CRIMES". That just speaks volumes about that sad excuse for a magazine.

Posted by: figgy at March 29, 2011 2:50 PM

Now, can you picture Colin Farrell and Sideshow Bob having a torrid affair...?

Posted by: godzilla_foil at March 29, 2011 3:00 PM

I actually got the "Baby Talk" card once when playing Pictionary. I drew the same things as Sally (how could you not?!) and was thrilled when my teammates not only got what I was doing but both yelled out "BABY FISHMOUTH!" at the same time.

Also, as someone who longs to be a female ass-kicking samurai, that second video was really astounding.

Posted by: beckster at March 29, 2011 3:25 PM

chocolate babies?

Posted by: Ryan at March 29, 2011 3:30 PM

I dig the big hair. It's funky in a way I could never pull off.

Posted by: Mrs. Julien at March 29, 2011 4:41 PM

JoRo, I never mentioned my Gran's politics because she's incredibly racist! Just kidding. She's slightly racist.

Posted by: Caspar at March 29, 2011 4:57 PM

poor sad maka, only likes bony little white girls.

Posted by: John G. at March 29, 2011 5:03 PM

I love When Harry Met Sally sooooo much.
Stupid, wagon wheel, Roy Rogers, garage sale coffee table!!!!

Posted by: baboocole at March 29, 2011 5:26 PM

Why would only one person get the baby fish mouth reference?
When Harry met Sally is a fucking classic!
Or am I wrong?

Posted by: dinka at March 29, 2011 8:36 PM

Neil Gaiman news makes me happy, though it dismays me to think there are still books of his that I have not yet read. I am very much looking forward to his Doctor Who episode.

Thanks for posting the video! :)

Posted by: Shibuyama at March 29, 2011 8:40 PM

RIhanna has boobs. They're totally fake at this point, but they're there. She's got a pretty bangin body, I hate her dumb ass, but she is attractive.

Posted by: stump at March 29, 2011 8:57 PM

I'm glad I'm not the only one that finds that fish-faced alien unattractive. Chris Brown may be a whiny little bitch in the vein of Kanye West (I will now disinfect my keyboard after typing those two names), but if that miserable, screeching gremlin were anywhere near my vicinity I'd treat her to quite a beating as well.

Posted by: Kris at March 29, 2011 9:36 PM

Re: the Rhianna cover:

Someone needs to start a Tumblr or something with all the times Rolling Stone or NME or whatever music magazine (or really, any magazine) has used the headline "_______ Strikes Back". At whom?! How?! Showing her painted ass is striking back?! WORDS MEAN THINGS, DAMMIT!

Posted by: ChristianH at March 29, 2011 11:27 PM

@Ryan- Rita Moreno.

I am loving the subtle referencing on this post.

Posted by: Amandahugandkiss at March 30, 2011 10:58 AM

What's worse?
a) Simple fact that that is not her body at all
b) the outfit
c) the way the outfit seems to be cut out and pasted on the body
d) the way that body is flat as a pancake
e) The gigantic head
f) how freakishly white she looks? Yeah, she's light-skinned, but not THAT much.
g) the way her chin looks like it was shaped by a blunt mallet?
h) ALL OF THE ABOVE

Posted by: cosplay wigs at April 5, 2011 5:39 AM