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Rick, Buddy, We Miss You

By Joanna Robinson | Posted Under Pajiba Love | Comments (42)



Rick-Moranis.jpeg

First of all, my little ghostbusters and mutant plants, I’ll stop nicknaming you only when my tube of Love Spackle runs dry. So…not any time soon. Also, I realized after I wrote it that today’s headline might give you the impression that Rick Moranis had shuffled off this mortal coil. This is not the case. He’s just been retired forever and I miss him. More on that later. First, some of that serious, hard-hitting linkage you’ve come to expect from me.

Have I made my desperate love for Jurassic Park plain? If I have, you won’t be surprised when I tell you that this nearly hour-long clip of the famous John Williams theme (a film score IS real music, haters) slowed down 1,000% made me very, very happy. And I played it a few times last night. So here it is, hold on to your butts. (Geekologie)

Have you met the gorgeous, snarky ladies over at Persephone Magazine? Here one of them indulges in my favorite activity, mocking people’s tattoos. (Persephone Magazine)

But in full disclosure, my little buxom mermaids and burly sailors, I have a tattoo on my ankle which is inspired by a piece of literary fiction. I’m sure plenty of folks have mocked it. This site, Contrariwise, has amassed an impressive collection of literary tattoos. Some of them are highly mockable, but some of them are pretty radass. (Contrariwise)

If you clicked on that Contrariwise link (you click on all my links, right?!?), you would see the first tattoo is a rather clumsy and hard to read word cloud tattoo of a Sharon Olds poem. Have I mentioned that I love word clouds, you guys?!?!? Almost as much as dinosaur movies? I threw together a wee word cloud of my favorite poem, T.S. Eliot’s “The Love Song of J. Alfred Prufrock.” I know, I know. Trite but true.

Prufrock.jpg

Okay, enough of that snooty thinky poetry stuff. Here’s a mock line-up for new TLC programming that doesn’t seem that off the mark from what they actually produce. I think “Uterus Cannon” is my new favorite phrase. (Warming Glow)

Disney unveiled the new Muppet movie logo and someone on Twitter (a legitimate news source if ever there was one) pointed out that it looks like decapitated Kermit. That’s a bell you can’t unring. (Slash Film)

In this Salon article Mary Elizabeth Williams outlines why “we” like Mark Zuckerberg. I would slow your roll on that “we,” Mary Elizabeth. I’ll give you the “awkward” but where you see “charm,” I see “smug charisma chasm.” (Salon)

For any of you who have friends or family in Egypt, here is some information on how Google is trying to help work around the internet black out. Which is pretty awesome of Google. ARE YOU LISTENING, ZUCKERBERG? (Google Blog)

Okay, comics nerds, help me out here. Is this debate over organic vs. mechanic web shooters really that big of a deal? My spidey sense tells me no, but I’ve been wrong before. (Hobotrashcan)

I love “Vanity Fair” and I double treble love their annual Hollywood cover. Last year they caught some flack for their entirely young, white female representation of Hollywood. This year they do have two non-white actors (Anthony Mackie I love you! Rashida Jones I sort of like you!) on the cover but, as in years past, neither of them made it onto the first fold. So, really, same as it ever was, except for an inexplicable Robert Duvall presence and a whole lotta Kunis leg. (Celebitchy)

Well that Super Bowl thingie is soon, right my little bacon acolytes? Here is some more meat-related nastiness from Epic Meal Time to get you in the mood. To be honest, this time it was the “cheese spread” rather than the meat component that turned my stomach. Eat your lunches first, my dears. (Epic Meal Time)

In honor of the Packers imminent win, I bring you this great compilation of inspirational locker room speeches. The editor loses many, many points with me for neglecting to include Coach Eric Taylor and his emotive hair but gains most of them back by reminding me of my love for Rick Moranis. Seriously, buddy, I do hope you’re enjoying your retirement, but I miss you a lot.

And while I cue up my copy of My Blue Heaven you should check out this neat video of Hans Rosling illustrating some stats for you. Did that sound really boring? I promise it’s pretty nifty and not just because Rosling reminds me of Professor Ludwig Von Drake.

Joanna Robinson is glad she finally joined Twitter last night otherwise she would have missed out on Roger Ebert trying to foment a political revolution in under 140 characters. You can follow her into the breach, dear friends, @quityourJRob. Otherwise, you can foment your own revoution by emailing her here: godtopuswept@gmail.com









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Comments

RE: Vanity Fair...Where's Gosling? And, like you said, how the hell did Duvall sneak in there?

Posted by: sars at February 1, 2011 1:09 PM

might give you the impression that Rick Moranis had shuffled off this mortal coil.

Exactly what I thought. And I was distraught, and also, how had I not heard yet? Whew.

I love looking at terrible tattoos. They make me laugh and laugh.

Posted by: Gabs at February 1, 2011 1:14 PM

"I always have coffee when I look at radar. You know that."

"Of course I do sir."

"Everybody knows that!"

"Of course we do sir!!"

Posted by: L4NkYb at February 1, 2011 1:18 PM

Regarding the organic vs. mechanical webshooters, I'm a mechanical man. Which is to say, I'm not a robot, but in favor of the depiction of mechanically-based webshooters.

Here's the deal- if you want any sort of plausibility to support the organic webshooters, you'd have to make Spiderman produce the webs in a gland near his asshole, gather them with his hands, and fling them. Now, I'd pay good money to see that, but it might be a bit offensive for the PG13 crowd.

Mechanical shooters showcase Peter Parker's brilliance, and allow for interesting situations where he's stuck without his webs.

Posted by: logar at February 1, 2011 1:20 PM

Wow! Stats are fun!
Who knew?
Well, I'm guessing at least 3/10...

Posted by: Odnon. at February 1, 2011 1:28 PM

Organic webshooters are an abomination before God.

Posted by: Tracer Bullet at February 1, 2011 1:30 PM

my favorite poem, T.S. Eliot’s “The Love Song of J. Alfred Prufrock.”

I think I love you.

"I am not Prince Hamlet, nor was meant to be" will end up tattoo'd on me somewhere. Eventually.

(see what I did there?)

Posted by: Lennon at February 1, 2011 1:32 PM

logar got it-

You would think that if Peter Parker got the abilities of spiders, he would also get the ability to spin webs.

The mechanical web-shooters, though, gave Lee a quick way to establish Parker's intelligence.

Provided that the movie itself doesn't suck, I don't give a damn where the webs come from...and I say this as a former comic geek.

Posted by: jthomas666 at February 1, 2011 1:34 PM

logar,

Considering the story is about a kid who gets super powers from a spider, I'm willing to cut them some slack on the anatomy issue.

I've seen people complain that a kid, even a genius like Peter Parker, couldn't develop something like the web shooters and it takes them out of the illusion. I always assumed his spider sense gave him the instincts to combine with his intelligence and figure it out.

I'm all about the mechanical shooters as well. That way, like logar said, he can run out of web without some stupid plot device like "Peter's too emo for his powers to work."

Posted by: L4NkYb at February 1, 2011 1:36 PM

(Yay comment flood)

I remember when my friend and I improvised a song based on The Love Song of J. Alfred Prufrock for a project in high school. It was for a commercial for his greatest hits CD.

Posted by: L4NkYb at February 1, 2011 1:42 PM

The only people who believe there is a debate going on about Spider-Man's web shooters are the people who believe the organic webs aren't an ungodly abombination. The only reason such nonsense persists is because Sam Raimi made Evil Dead 2.

Posted by: superasente at February 1, 2011 1:44 PM

Oh, stupid word tattoo - how I regret ye. Good thing mine's on the side of my foot, because with any luck it will be mostly faded in a few years.

Posted by: nosio at February 1, 2011 1:56 PM

As a precocious teen, I annoyed the shit out of Rick Moranis while watching The World According to Garp in a Toronto movie theatre.

True story.

Posted by: Mrs. Julien at February 1, 2011 1:58 PM

I wrote my senior thesis on "The Love Song of J. Alfred Prufrock" It will always be one of my favorites, too.

I have heard the mermaids singing, each to each.

I do not think that they will sing to me.

I think that's what I would choose to tattoo on myself.

Posted by: Lindsay at February 1, 2011 2:16 PM

That Contrariwise site is awesome! Some of the tattoos are definitely cringe-worthy (the Golden Snitches, the inevitable Twilight) but some are geeky-cool. If I only I were brave enough to get my very own "So it goes".

Posted by: badkittyuno at February 1, 2011 2:21 PM

Please DO NOT stop pet-naming/Lady Gagaing Pajibans. It giggles me at work, every time. Giggles can too be a verb.

Posted by: JapJay at February 1, 2011 2:27 PM

Your tattoo links are timely. It's been a year since my last one and I am feeling the itch. I can only link to the second one and some a re truly awesome and some are awful. It reminds what I am looking for and what to stay away from.

Posted by: Nimue at February 1, 2011 2:28 PM

True Confession:

As a kid, I looked up to Wayne Szalinski just as much as I did Eddie Valliant or Cliff Secord. The man built a SHRINK RAY for godsake! Then, he goes and makes an enlarging ray, just to piss everyone off some more. I swear, there was a hidden undercurrent of Szalinski being a mad genius behind that "doofus" exterior.

Yeah, Rick Moranis was the shit when I was a kid, and I miss him as much as everyone else does. If they continue with plans with Ghostbusters III, I hope he can at least make a small cameo. Louis Tulley needs to return!

Posted by: DoctorControversy at February 1, 2011 2:33 PM

Oh Link Wench, didst thou see the Jurassic Park tat?
http://www.contrariwise.org/2009/09/23/life-finds-a-way/

Posted by: Patty O'Green at February 1, 2011 2:36 PM

People who care about organic webshooters should have their genitals blown off with a shotgun, because they're obviously never going to use them anyway (and that's probably for the best).

By the way, organics just make more sense. Suck it.

Posted by: Case at February 1, 2011 2:41 PM

...and a whole lotta Kunis leg.

...which was barely noticeable due to all the naked Olivia Wilde. Holy crap.

Posted by: Anna von Beav at February 1, 2011 2:42 PM

I second the petname love. I don't know if this has been said yet, but it reminds me of when the Fug girls write a letter from JLo, and it's always something like, "Buenos dias, my scrumptious empanadillas!" So then, in my head, I imagine the entire Pajiba Love post done by a sassy, well-read JLo.

Posted by: nosio at February 1, 2011 2:50 PM

True story.

Rick Moranis was my conjoined twin.

Posted by: OldSchool60 at February 1, 2011 3:12 PM

The Aurora Borealis in Canada affects our chromosomes that way.

It's very common amongst Canuckians...look it up.

True story.

Posted by: OldSchool60 at February 1, 2011 3:15 PM

Duvall - ok, weird but its Duvall. Mor oddly, why does Scientology's Rasheda Jones make the young ones photo? She's as old as Chelsea Handler.

Posted by: JuiceinLA at February 1, 2011 3:19 PM

Dear Joanna, if you don't call us all "little uterus cannons" in your next Pajiba Love, I will be severely disappointed.

Posted by: BWeaves at February 1, 2011 3:52 PM

JGL! In a suit! (you should know, that will never ever get old for me)

I am laughing so hard at work over the Persephone/tattoo link. Good thing the higher ups leave at 3 and can't hear me snort laughing.

Posted by: Even Stevens at February 1, 2011 3:56 PM

That slowed down Jurassic Park was quite awesome, but that software they use can work wonders on most music. Last year someone called Shamantis slowed down a Justin Bieber track by 800% and it sounded like Sigur Ros.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QspuCt1FM9M

News article link


Oh, and "The Love Song of J. Alfred Prufrock"?
I like your style.

Posted by: Simon at February 1, 2011 3:56 PM

Team LogarnTracer all the way. Peter Parker didn't catch his villains and drain them dry, the way a real spider would have, either.

Posted by: Chickaboom at February 1, 2011 4:11 PM

The editor loses many, many points with me for neglecting to include Coach Eric Taylor and his emotive hair but gains most of them back by reminding me of my love for Rick Moranis.

I was hoping for a bit of the young Craig Scheffer in The Program and his "let's put the women and children to bed and go lookin' for dinner, boys."

Posted by: branded at February 1, 2011 4:49 PM

Scientology's Rasheda [sic] Jones

Are you fucking kidding me? I didn't know this. But now that I do, the world seems sadder.

Posted by: sars at February 1, 2011 4:50 PM

Teehee, have at, all ye grammar and spelling enthusiasts!

Misspelled tattoos: http://www.contrariwise.org/tag/spelling-and-grammar-mistakes/

Posted by: Patty O'Green at February 1, 2011 5:08 PM

Shut up! Is my comment being censored because I hate trying way too hard pet names or is the internet just being wonky...

Posted by: Kate at June at February 1, 2011 5:50 PM

Oh, how I miss the days when commenters weren't censored for nothing!

Posted by: Kate at June at February 1, 2011 6:25 PM

It's the Ring verse, ain't it?

Posted by: Protoguy at February 1, 2011 6:50 PM

Nickname away, linkmistress.

Also, no one's mentioned the fake TLC shows, but I'd like to give a shout-out to:

Small Dogs, Big Dumps

Posted by: MM at February 1, 2011 6:53 PM

Does anyone else find the Joanna Robinson era "Pajiba Love" far too erudite and not nearly sleazy enough?

Posted by: endgame at February 1, 2011 7:09 PM

In this Salon article Mary Elizabeth Williams outlines why “we” like Mark Zuckerberg. ... I’ll give you the “awkward” but where you see “charm,” I see “smug charisma chasm.” (Salon)

"Charm" in this case means "likely source of future articles", with "interview" and "reporting" meaning a somewhat non-verbal sort of oral transaction, and series of same, respectively.

As the practices of "celebrity journalism" - meaning investigation and thought-free, depending entirely on regurgitating press-releases and the spoutings of "sources" that are also subjects - have migrated through reporting of local news, business and finally politics and ideas, well, the more likely a source may be the more "charming" he/she/it becomes.

In the end, blowjobs and revenge are why Zuckerberg built his empire anyway. So, win?

Posted by: BierceAmbrose at February 1, 2011 8:52 PM

I find that endgame needs some fun in their life. Ride a pony!! That will get the stick out of your ass. Or impale it further. Either way, the Joanna wins.

Posted by: Julie at February 2, 2011 12:02 AM

You know what kills me? Rib/hip/waist tattoos. Why in the all loving world would you put a tattoo on the one part of your body that's the most likely to change over time? Gain even the slightest bit of weight and that shit is going to get warped all to hell.

Posted by: Figgy at February 2, 2011 12:27 AM

All I know is Robert Duvall photobombed the shit outta the Vanity Fair cover, Michael Douglas-style.

I just keep imagining him jumping up from behind the bar like some sort of grizzled, world-weary, wise-crackin' whack-a-mole.

"World-Weary, Wise-Crackin' Whack-A-Mole" is the name of my next band, by the way.

Posted by: Vonnegut Slut at February 2, 2011 1:19 AM

Should certainly parents spare the rod and spoil the youngster? Views regarding rigorous parental discipline fluctuate broadly. Some see rigorous discipline as practically nothing more than a kind of abuse, even though other people argue it is an essential issue for instilling acceptable social behavior.

Posted by: MBT Kipimo Womens at March 29, 2011 3:50 AM