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Pixar Helps Us Heal As The Long National Culture Rape Known As Twilight Comes To A Close

By Joanna Robinson | Posted Under Pajiba Love | Comments (27)



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This has been a really rough week, guys. I stayed up into the wee hours of the morning watching the Occupy Wall Street raids. The press was shut out as NYPD cleared Zuccotti Park of protestors and their possessions. The Occupy Library was thrown into dumpsters. That’s 5,000 books, into dumpsters. So, not to hyperbolize or Godwinize this more than necessary, but that’s one lit match short of a Nuremberg Rally, yes? (Boing Boing)

No, you’re right, that’s unfair. Things could have been *much* worse last night. But the whole dead of night, no press allowed aspect gave me the creeps. Also creepy is this anti-Occupy polemic from Frank Miller. (The Atlantic Wire)

Ah, but even creepier, of course, was Jerry Sandusky’s cringe-worthy interview with Bob Costas. It’s not enough that Sandusky has destroyed lives, he’s now completely sullied the phrase “horsing around.” (Warming Glow)

Speaking of forever sullied, I think it’s impossible to over-state my contempt for Twilight. For the films, for the books, for the characters that perpetuate terrible stereotypes of both men and women. I’m terrified by the slavish culture that’s popped up around it as exemplified by this photo essay of the people who are camping out for the premiere. That’s one tent city that should be evacuated. (Grantland)

I care even less about the so-called “talent” that has been thrust upon us by this franchise, but I bless Celebitchy for this photograph which I’m considering placing in the Pajiba Stock Photo Archives under “Llama, Taylor.” (Celebitchy)
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That’s quite enough Link Wench Ire, don’t you think? Here are some dazzling new images from Pixar’s Brave. I can’t tell you how excited I am by the description of this character. She’s the anti-Bella Swan and a joy to behold. (/Film)

Another cool girl we’ll soon see on the big screen is The Hunger Games’ Katniss Everdeen. I’m so fully stoked about this film that I’m trying not to get my knickers in a twist about these Hunger Games nail polishes. I think it’s a REALLY weird tie in. Like the Lisbeth Salander clothing line. (The Mary Sue)

Ahhhhh, sorry, I was veering into angry again. Hey! Look at this adorable geek girl and her fingerless Gameboy gloves! Want! (Geeks Are Sexy)

Speaking of geek gamers, how many of you are knee deep in Skyrim right now? I wish I liked video games, I really do. Look how gorgeous Skyrim is! (Unreality)

Inspired by that Marine and Justin Timberlake, a young lady with cancer has asked Joseph Gordon-Levitt out on a date…via youtube. There is no way he can say no…right? (Uproxx)

For those of you who dug those luscious “Art Nouveau” Firefly posters, Qmx has released the male counterparts. Just in time for the holidays! (Qmx)

Folks, I *did* have a pretty tight “Game of Thrones” death reel video to share with you, but it has since disappeared from the internets. If it reappears at some point today, we’ll let you know. In the meantime, watch the latest Marcel the Shell video. It’s f*cking enchanting and you know it.

Joanna Robinson wishes her lord and master a Happy Birthday. And, because it’s his birthday, she’ll say that thing she doesn’t like to say. Just for him…Butthole.









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Comments

I bless Celebitchy for this photograph which I’m considering placing in the Pajiba Stock Photo Archives under "Llama, Taylor."

HAAAAAA! The best thing I've seen today. You can almost see the hay bale/bucket of grains they're dangling just outside of the shot.

Posted by: Jast at November 15, 2011 1:14 PM

Aw, the girl from Brave looks quite a bit like my daughter.

Posted by: Sara H at November 15, 2011 1:18 PM

I own the whole set of the female posters (an awesome, random "I love you" present from TheMaskedEmu). I framed them and have them artfully arranged around my Serenity poster. Now I need to reevaluate wall space to maybe get all the gentlemen in there as well...

Posted by: KatSings at November 15, 2011 1:19 PM

That Wash poster. "A Leaf on the Wind." SOB. And the dinosaurs!

Have we done a SRL of questionable movie merchandise? That line of Hunger Games nail polishes is an odd tie-in.

Posted by: MelBivDevoe at November 15, 2011 1:20 PM

I'm pretty sure there's Muppet movie nail polish out too. I don't get it either.

Posted by: pxilated at November 15, 2011 1:35 PM

I don't want to talk smack about someone with cancer, but I don't think too highly of asking a celebrity on a date like that. What if he just doesn't want to do it? That wouldn't make him a bad person, but saying no would make him look like one. That's unfair.

Posted by: Todd at November 15, 2011 1:48 PM

WHY IS EVERYTHING SO FUCKING SAD TODAY?

Posted by: The_wakeful at November 15, 2011 2:06 PM

Whilst scrolling down this page, my office manager (turning 50 in 2 weeks) walked by, and upon seeing Taylor Lautner's deer-in-headlights, 1-bullet-to-the-brain-short-of-a-zombie-face, asked in all seriousness.....

"What are you looking at my sexy vampires for?"

Posted by: dammitjanet at November 15, 2011 2:11 PM

Yeah, Todd, I agree that the Invite-A-Celebrity thing is uncomfortable. I remember reading that the guy who invited Scarlett J. was turned down, and Linda Hamilton told him she'd accept that invitation. But the Guy demurred bercause he was holding out for a Bigger Celebrity. Butthole!

Posted by: DenG at November 15, 2011 2:16 PM

I was wondering something along those lines, Todd. What happens if this sparks a trend and a celebrity gets inundated with videos from sick or dying or otherwise suffering people? Where would you draw the line? You'd have to say no to start with, or else you'd look like a dick for saying yes to one and no to the others. Of course, if you say no to begin with, people will still call you a dick. You can't win for trying.

Posted by: MelBivDevoe at November 15, 2011 2:18 PM

The next step, of course, would be people faking cancer to get dates with celebrities the same way they sometimes fake it to go on the grift.

Good times, end times. You decide.

Posted by: Berva at November 15, 2011 2:28 PM

I'm going to make a video about how my boneitis can only be cured by having relations with Ryan Gosling.

Posted by: Quorren at November 15, 2011 3:35 PM

Oddly enough, when I scrolled down to Llama Boy's pic, all I could hear in my head was the sound of buzzing feedback that an old PC emits from its speakers just before it switches to its "blue screen of death". If you ever wanted to know what a human being looked like when his hard drive finally crashed, look no further.

Somebody needs to go over and reboot him. One swift kick to the nards should suffice.

Any takers?

Posted by: bleujayone at November 15, 2011 3:58 PM


I own the polish, 'Wocka Wocka'. People ought to relax and get a sense of humor instead of jumping to the standard, 'everything and everyone is stupid'.

Posted by: Kline at November 15, 2011 4:06 PM

Somebody needs to go over and reboot him. One swift kick to the nards should suffice.

Werewolfman's got nards!

Posted by: Jast at November 15, 2011 4:17 PM

The next step, of course, would be people faking cancer to get dates with celebrities the same way they sometimes fake it to go on the grift.

Posted by: Berva at November 15, 2011 2:28 PM

Wasn't that a Brady Bunch episode?

Also, in the you-couldn't-make-this-shit-up category...Sandusky (who, just to be clear, should be beaten repeatedly into unconsciousness on a daily basis) apparently has had a book out since 2001. It's available on Amazon and it's called...."Touched". I shit you not. Someone tell me why the publisher hasn't pulled that from the shelf yet.

Posted by: NateS1973 at November 15, 2011 5:21 PM

You know who else wouldn't let people crap in the park? HITLER!

Posted by: John at November 15, 2011 5:23 PM

I agree, Kline. These nail polishes are silly and fun, and shouldn't be taken so seriously. Of course, my opinion miiight be influenced by the fact that I want almost all of them...

Posted by: noodlestein at November 15, 2011 5:38 PM

I'd hate to be the first celebrity who turns downs one of these You Tube invites, because I have a feeling the floodgates are about to open.

Posted by: John W at November 15, 2011 6:15 PM

So, not to hyperbolize or Godwinize this more than necessary, but that’s one lit match short of a Nuremberg Rally, yes?

No. That's the dumbest thing I've read today and that's saying something because I've also read the "Advanced Genius" and "Butthole" articles.

What the fuck is wrong with Pajiba authors today? Are you all drunk?

Posted by: Ballymena Bob at November 15, 2011 8:05 PM

@Ballymena Bob: Yes. But that's now. Near midnight. I'm not sure I can explain what happened earlier.

Posted by: RobP at November 16, 2011 12:28 AM

Those five thousand books could have been collected and given to charity, but Mayor Bloomberg and the NYPD apparently doesn't believe in the proles needing to read anything more complex than a parking ticket.

You know what? Fuck the NYPD. Whatever mystique or moral capital they may have accrued because of 9/11 is now gone. Poof, a fart in a whirlwind. And before anyone starts in, I'm in law enforcement, with twenty-five years in service.

There has been speculation that the action in New York and other cities have been coordinated through the Heimatsicherheitshauptamt. Wouldn't that be fun, if true?

Posted by: The Wanderer at November 16, 2011 6:41 AM

Obviously, the word 'rape' has other meaning than just sexual assault, but this headline equating the Twilight franchise with rape makes me feel very uncomfortable...

I hate Twilight as much as anyone, but trivialising rape isn't funny or okay. I'm kinda shocked and disappointed you'd do this on Pajiba. Gutted, in fact.

(not a regular commentor on here, but am a long-time lurker)

Posted by: Someone unconfortable with today's headline... at November 16, 2011 7:29 AM

The books weren't thrown out. It was an internet rumor. The mayor's office posted info and a picture of the books safe and sound last night.

Posted by: tropes at November 16, 2011 10:04 AM

Good. I stand corrected then, about the books.

Posted by: The Wanderer at November 16, 2011 1:07 PM

This new trend of asking celebrities out via YouTube seems weird to me, too. It smacks of extortion, just a little bit. Either go out on a date with a complete stranger whom you've never met and is possibly a whackjob or get called all kinds of asshole by the media.

Posted by: stardust at November 16, 2011 6:06 PM

The White House is asking supporters to report fishy health care info online. Is this even constitutional?

Posted by: health facts for teens at November 20, 2011 4:43 PM