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Panettiere And Dushku Take On The Daily Mail. Oddly Enough, I'm Rooting For Faith And The Cheerleader.

By Joanna Robinson | Posted Under Pajiba Love | Comments (50)



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Okay, let’s get this out of the way quickly because I’ve run out of creative ways to call George Lucas a jerkface. If you haven’t heard, Lucas is adding a bit to the Blu-Ray edition of Return Of The Jedi where Vader screams “Nooooooo” as he (Dusty Old Spoiler Alert!) kills the Emperor. It’s just, I’m baffled, I’m angry, I don’t know why he won’t leave well enough alone. Hasn’t he plunged his revisionist fingers into our childhood enough? And, like some sad collector, I’m still holding on to my original trilogy on VHS even though I no longer own a VCR. In short, Lucas, “NOOOOOOOOOOOOO.” (Cinema Blend)

While we’re on the subject of internet-fueled backlash, the ever-snide Eric Snider wrote a piece called “The Internet Reacts To The Upcoming Film Version of The Wizard of Oz 1939.” Same as it ever was. (Eric Snider)

BREAKING NEWS! A bunch of kids from the Goondocks found One Eyed Willy and his trove of rich stuff! Okay! Fine! Actually, a group of scientists successfully identified a sunken trove as Blackbeard’s ship. Still, this calls for some Cyndi Lauper. (National Geographic)

Apparently, Hurricane Irene has stirred up a hive of feral bees and two NY Beekeeper Gangs are engaging in a turf war about it. A) There are Beekeeper Gangs? B) THERE ARE FERAL BEES? C) Can’t we all agree that these bees should be dumped on Nicolas Cage in anticipation of Ghost Rider: Spirit of Vengeance? (NYT)

Speaking of vengeance, when that British rag (see, I can be taught!), The Daily Mail attacked Hayden Panettiere, known wit and scribe Eliza Dushku put fingers to laptop to compose a scathing response. I’m not a fan of either of these women, but I applaud Dushku for closing her letter with “Seriously, Sir, for shame.” I have always wanted to write that. (Celebitchy)

Another wooden actor has earned my admiration today. Over on Reddit, someone posted this old story of how Keanu donated a hefty slice of his Matrix earnings to the Costume and Effects people. Pretty classy, Neo. (ABC)

Whoa, anyone in New Jersey know kung-fu? Word is disgraced Libyan leader Muammar Qaddafi has an estate in Englewood and may attempt to live out his exile there. Oh, Muammar, you scamp, what do you think this is, Argentina? (Mental Floss)

Speaking of lovable scamps, check out this fantastic Loki shirt. I love it, but I’m more of a Greek Myths girl, so ring me when you find a Hermes (no, not Hermès) shirt. (Better Myths)

You want evidence of gods? I got your evidence right here. Check out the splendor of this dying (dead? deceased? pining for the fjords?) star. Even (or maybe especially) if your god is Science, this photo will make you mumble a hasty prayer. (NASA)

While we’re on the subject of science, this study says that even the flora in our own bodies can drive us crazy. That’s right. We’re driving ourselves crazy. What a f*cking piece of work is man. (Science Mag)

And, personally, I think you would have to be crazy to cycle across the country, but the lads at Band Cycle are doing just that and chronicling the local music scene while they’re at it. I mean, it’s crazy, but it looks fun. (Band Cycle)

And in other music news, I…I’m just going to copy the headline of this article. “Jack White Collaborates With Insane Clown Posse to Cover Mozart. For Real.” (Pitchfork)

One of my favorite sex-crazed commenters, the rapacious jM sent me this fun and interactive site that chronicles the sexual history and habits of certain British residents. I played with it for an hour. It’s a statistician’s wet dream. (Sexperience)

But when it comes to chronicling the British, nothing beats this extraordinary ad that purports to cover the history of East London’s fashion, music and dance of the past 100 years. It’s been making the rounds, but just in CASE you hadn’t seen it. Enjoy.

I’ve been fooled before with fake sports videos but I’d like to believe this rhythmic gymnast is for real and that all the Ronaldinhos and Zidanes of the world should take note.

Joanna Robinson knows that “feral bees” are just ones that used to be domesticated and are now free to live out their bee-y days as they see fit. She should be happy for them. Instead the term “feral bees” send her into paroxysm of fear.









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Comments

There's a comic strip out there somewhere in which a geek theorizes that when George Lucas dies someone will finally be able to "fix" the Star Wars universe. It seems less and less like a joke every day.

Posted by: Todd at August 31, 2011 1:06 PM

Dat was one hell of bus! (Oh wait NOT Hermès)

Posted by: Socrates_Johnson at August 31, 2011 1:09 PM

Dear George: We aren't falling for it anymore. Die in a fire, laser brain.

Posted by: lubeg at August 31, 2011 1:09 PM

THE ORIGINAL FILMS ARE NOT SPECIAL FUCKING FEATURES!!!!!

Posted by: lubeg at August 31, 2011 1:11 PM

I not only have two VHS copies (original and special editions) of the only three Star Wars movies ever made, I have the only DVD release where they had both the original theatrical versions and the fucked-up versions in the same package. I also have my original Betamax tape with Star Wars taped off of network TV, and Empire Strikes Back and Return of the Jedi taped off of HBO (just in case that technology makes a comeback). So George Lucas can go fuck himself until he decides he needs another couple hundred billion dollars and releases the originals in remastered Blu-Ray (or he dies and someone sane takes over his estate).

Posted by: Three-nineteen at August 31, 2011 1:15 PM

Let's not fool ourselves. If Lucas dies his property will be bequeathed to a Spielberg, and everything will be as if always has been since the mid 90's.

Posted by: Socrates_Johnson at August 31, 2011 1:21 PM

Yeah, I still have my Star Wars VHS tapes, even though I don't have a VCR.

FUCK.THIS.REVISIONISM.

Posted by: MM at August 31, 2011 1:24 PM

That gymnastics video...I don't know...It's arguably real, at first, but it gets harder to tell towards the end when she's doing more floor stuff...

Posted by: Nadine at August 31, 2011 1:27 PM

I not only have two VHS copies (original and special editions) of the only three Star Wars movies ever made

I applaud you, Three-nineteen, for sharing this most important of messages. There are only three films. And they were all theatrically released prior to 1984.

Lucas is so far out of it and so clueless he'll probably have that kid record this latest version of "Nooooooo!"

Posted by: lubeg at August 31, 2011 1:30 PM

Were you being sarcastic about the existence of feral bees?
All bees are feral, unless they're kept by a beekeeper.
It just means wild, but you knew that, right?
I'll give you the benefit of the doubt.

Posted by: Huh at August 31, 2011 1:32 PM

I'm still choosing to believe that all of the "Noooo"/Krayt Dragon scream/Ewok eye nonsense is just a big hoax by...internet people. Because I will not buy these Blu-Rays if it's all true, and that saddens me.

Say it ain't so, Jo(anna). Say it ain't so!

Posted by: =DocDoom1= at August 31, 2011 1:32 PM

The Better Myths site is hilarious. Ovid retells plenty of Greek myths, too, though no shirts from them as of yet.

Posted by: Wednesday at August 31, 2011 1:37 PM

Feral can mean wild, but is more typically used to refer to animals that were formerly domesticated and then become wild again.

Posted by: Socrates_Johnson at August 31, 2011 1:43 PM

James Earl Jones should charge Lucas $100,000,000 to record that "NOOOOOOOOOO!"

Posted by: fracas at August 31, 2011 1:43 PM

Word is disgraced Libyan leader Muammar Qaddafi has an estate in Englewood

Oh, FFS. Like we don't have a hard enough time defending our name. GREAT.

(This is, P.S., 14 miles from where I live. Guess I'd better get on those kickboxing classes I always meant to take, huh?)

Posted by: Anna von Beav at August 31, 2011 1:49 PM

What's the big deal about Hayden and Eliza parting fools from their money? That's what fools are for.

Posted by: logan at August 31, 2011 1:51 PM

Well for Ghaddafi, it mostly matters what kind of development deal MTV is willing to offer him. You gotta think Bravo's willing to pony up the big bucks to land him for their upcoming Real Dictators of Orange County, even if they have to pay for his relocation expenses.

Posted by: Socrates_Johnson at August 31, 2011 1:54 PM

That Vader thing has to be fake. Right?

Posted by: DarthCorleone at August 31, 2011 1:55 PM

Anyone know exactly how many versions of the spelling of Ghaddafi are out there?
I've been keeping a log since last week (print media) and am at 32 so far but I'm sure I'm missing a few.
If you take the choice of "G" or "Q" beginning, include a "H" or not, one "D" or two, and "F", "FF" or "I" at the end, I think the permutations are almost infinite.

Posted by: PaddyDog at August 31, 2011 2:03 PM

Sorry, that should be "Y" or "I" at the end.

Posted by: PaddyDog at August 31, 2011 2:03 PM

I can't wait til the sun explodes. It's gonna be so pretty.

Posted by: fracas at August 31, 2011 2:06 PM

That's what I like about his name. There's no official spelling (as far as I know at least) so as long as you can make a case for pronouncing it the way it's said, you can never misspell it!

Posted by: Socrates_Johnson at August 31, 2011 2:10 PM


Whoa, anyone in New Jersey know kung-fu? Word is disgraced Libyan leader Muammar Qaddafi has an estate in Englewood and may attempt to live out his exile there. Oh, Muammar, you scamp, what do you think this is, Argentina? (Mental Floss)

Actually, yes. The United States is very much like Argentina after World War II in fact. Jersey is no Buenos Aires, though.

Posted by: John G. at August 31, 2011 2:24 PM

If people are willing to pay for autographs and pics with their favorite celebrities, then what's the big deal? As far as I can tell, that's a big portion of the reason people go to Dragon*Con. It seems far less rude to pay them for a bit of their time and a picture than to interrupt them during a meal and ask them to pose for free. Granted, I don't like any celebrity enough to pay for pics or autographs, but there are plenty of people who do.

Posted by: Reba at August 31, 2011 2:31 PM

the flora in our own bodies can drive us crazy

Actually, (adjusts glasses) the alimentory canal isn't technically within the human body. Humans are donuts. All of the flora that lives in our guts is technically outside the body. We draw in nutrients as things pass through this hole, but it's not really inside us, and neither are those foreign bacteria that drives us insane.

Posted by: John G. at August 31, 2011 2:31 PM

Also, DAMN that girl is bendy.

Posted by: Anna von Beav at August 31, 2011 3:02 PM

Word is disgraced Libyan leader Muammar Qaddafi has an estate in Englewood

Damn, New Jersey, it's like you're trying to be the shittiest state. Just start introducing mandatory baby maimings and be done with it.

Posted by: The Other Agent Johnson at August 31, 2011 3:05 PM

Well, I didn't know there were beekeeper gangs, but now I'm pretty sure that will be the next new reality show.

Posted by: fenchurch at August 31, 2011 3:11 PM

New Jersey is trying to beat Texas and Florida for Shittiest State. Enough said about that.

Beekeeper gangs? "Ya been skimmin' from da honeypot, Luigi ... Marco, send dis guy ta sleep wit' da aphids."

Posted by: The Wanderer at August 31, 2011 3:32 PM

Beekeeper Wars, next on The History Channel. I'm calling it now.

Posted by: vaskark at August 31, 2011 3:50 PM

If it's going to be on the History Channel they're going to have to find a way to incorporate Hitler into somehow. That place is a singularity of Godwin-ness.

Posted by: Socrates_Johnson at August 31, 2011 3:55 PM

I think they gymnastics video is real. There aren't any obvious signs of edits to the performance and her coaches to the back right of the tables seem to be responding with an appropriate level of enthusiasm for a performance that flawless. Any doubt is caused by how infrequently the ball is rotated into the summer Olympics. This is what women need to do at the top level of competition to even have a shot at the medal stand.

Posted by: Robert at August 31, 2011 3:58 PM

Oh, I'm so happy you included that beekeeper blogpost. My eyes widened with disbelief as I read it, and I couldn't help smiling.

Also - I love me some rhythmic gymnastics. It is the ice-dancing of the Summer Olympics - overshadowed by events the US is better at, but way cooler than its close relation.

Posted by: Sara Tonin at August 31, 2011 4:29 PM

I'll see you VHS copy and raise you ALL an original LASER DISC TRILOGY!!!

Posted by: fluxion187 at August 31, 2011 4:59 PM

Wow...so Eliza Dushku has, what, A 7th grade education? That was just piss-poor grammer.

And on Ghaddaffi/Qhadafi/Kaddaphi spelling...anyone remember the novelty song, "How do you spell Ghaddaffi?" from around the time we bombed the heck out of Libya in the 80s? ("I don't know. I don't know")

Posted by: NateS1973 at August 31, 2011 5:00 PM

Ooohhh... laser disc....

Posted by: MM at August 31, 2011 5:11 PM

Yeah fluxion187, I got the laserdiscs, with about 4 other trilogy versions.

But, it looks like the Blu-Rays will not be joining them. For anyone, like myself, who was skeptical:

http://artsbeat.blogs.nytimes.com/2011/08/31/lucasfilm-confirms-change-to-blu-ray-release-of-return-of-the-jedi/

Sad, sad day. Pray for Mojo...

Posted by: =DocDoom1= at August 31, 2011 5:15 PM

I do have the original trilogy on laser disc - with a working laser disk player. I refuse to buy the dvds or the blu-rays...

Posted by: Tereasa at August 31, 2011 5:25 PM

Socrates_Johnson speaks the truth. I'm eagerly awaiting "Hitler's Secret Crafting Scrapbook". They've already covered Hitler from every other possible angle.

Posted by: PaddyDog at August 31, 2011 5:43 PM

Yay! My sport but unfortunately I am not that bendy (I started doing it too late in life and we shall not speak of the pain my body is currently causing me as I have stupidly decided to compete at the Masters Games and thus have gone back to training...)

But yes that video IS real, no edits and she is FOURTEEN in that video and she can do those things.

Her name is Boyanka Angelova from Bulgaria. She was a junior in 2008 (which is where that video is from and I think from memory she came second with that routine!). She didn't make the Bulgarian senior team last year, there are others that were deemed better than her, but the Bulgarian's have always been brilliant at apparatus handling.

Have another amazing ball routine, this time from Liubov Charkashina from Belarus - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4eYEsLqhKY8

Oh and any time my sport gets dissed by a guy who played football or such, I take great pleasure in pointing out that there are things I can do with a ball that he never will and while he has trouble mastering one apparatus, I had five.

Posted by: noo at August 31, 2011 6:58 PM

Well, noo beat me to it. I was just about to defend rhythmic gymnasts everywhere. I have no idea why that sport isn't given as much publicity as regular gymnastics.
And yes, Hermes rocks!

Posted by: Four Eyes at August 31, 2011 8:12 PM

FERAL BEADS?????

Posted by: ABL at August 31, 2011 9:47 PM

Socrates, The History Channel will discover some long-hidden bee chambers and some heart-wrenching letter from Eva Braun about 'dolphy's sexual obsession with honey.

Posted by: ABL at August 31, 2011 9:51 PM

PaddyDog you should watch The Rachel Maddow Show from 08/24/11 (about 30 minutes in). She has a segment dedicated to the spelling of Gaddafi's name.

Posted by: Scully at August 31, 2011 10:33 PM

I don't think ABL's on board.

Posted by: Socrates_Johnson at August 31, 2011 11:11 PM

I kind of got chewed out for saying it earlier, so your feelings get hurt this round you'll have to apologise to yourselves 'cause I've used up my Empathy Tanooki Suit. Anyway, I said something to effect of 'Paying for autographs doesn't weed out the losers, it identifies the suckers.' Evidently, it doesn't, but what our dear wall-eyed rhinoplasty bot failed to mention was that she too was collecting those Expo fees, and that on top of the entrance fee and the autograph and/or photo fee, there was a 'Pay forty dollars to stand around twiddling your clits and get nothing fee. The only thing I can imagine legitimately demands those kind of, well, demands would be her room and board at Hooked On Phonics A&M...or to kiss my ass. I don't know, I live in Toronto and I didn't hear of this Expo, our nation bore witness to the passing of a high-profile political leader, don't toss a grammatical abortion on us now-we already hate our terrible mayor.

Posted by: Jo 'Mama' Besser at September 1, 2011 12:13 AM

I know some con organisers and the paying for autos and photos is one way they can get more of the actors etc to attend. They reduce their 'appearance' fee and take a cut of the photos etc. It means Conventions can get a bigger variety in people attending and therefore increase the number of fans who will come along.

Posted by: noo at September 1, 2011 12:55 AM

That was just piss-poor grammer.
---
That was just piss-poor spelling.

Posted by: , at September 1, 2011 1:18 AM

Comma beat me to it.

Posted by: The Other Agent Johnson at September 1, 2011 9:34 AM

Boyanka Angelova - the gymnist in the video was N.1 in the world in the junior devision and a hell of an athlete, it's unfortunate that the sport she's in is not more popular. She also happens to have a great personality and a lovely sence of humor about herself. It's so nice that you posted that video, you made my day!

Posted by: Malexa at September 2, 2011 7:58 AM