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Pajiba Love: You Murdered My Vagina Edition

By Jodi Clager | Pajiba Love | March 22, 2013 | Comments ()


Amanda-Bynes-Maxim-February-2010-Scan-_1_2.jpg

You know what makes me happy? Excited Aro memes. (Rifftrax Gifs)

Amanda Bynes meltdown/career spiral tour continues. The latest? This tweet.

Screen Shot 2013-03-22 at 9.16.53 AM.png

The discovery of a new dinosaur is always something to get excited about. The fact that a five-year-old named Daisy Morris (now 9, I believe) discovered the fossil and then had it named after her! (The Mary Sue)

Meanwhile, this 9-year-old has a Kickstarter so she can prove to her brothers that she can TOTALLY build her own RPG and they can't. (Kickstarter)

I have a POP! Deadpool figure (surprise!) and I find them to be adorable. Even more adorable? Seeing some of the cast of "Game of Thrones" posing with their POP! counterparts and pals. I wish they had dragons. (UPROXX)

DEADPOOL! JUST MAKE THE MOVIE! (Screen Slam)

To continue in the thread of fandom, Megacon took place recently and Jen of Cake Wrecks shared some photos. She has an affinity for steampunk, but she happily takes and posts photos of any well-made costumes she see. Part 3 of her MegaCon coverage is up now. (Epbot)

If you would like to own a chart that tells you the powers of the cosplayers from the last link, I've got you covered. (H/T Green Lantern) (Pop Chart Lab)

I don't want to oversell this next link, but it combines some of my favorite things. You've got gifs, 8-bit animation, and thirteen classic movies all smooshed together into pure delight! (Unreality)

What is the newest weird thing to do to your face? Blood facial. Patrick Bateman's glowing skin now makes more sense and I think we all owe Countess Elizabeth Bathory an apology. (CBS Miami)

If your blood facial doesn't work, maybe you can have your loved ones bury you in this pet cemetery. Then you can live your life again. (Laughing Squid)

"And then, kids, Miley Cyrus proved to us that she was fine by wearing a unicorn onesie and twerking it on Twitter. We knew then that she and that non-Thor Hemsworth would be together forever." (Entertainment Weekly)

Another former-tweener, Joe Jonas, is also perfectly fine, you guys. There is totally not a sex tape of Eyebrows Jonas and his girlfriend using drugs and dildos and stuff. It's totally false, you guys. Just like all the other sex tape rumors about other celebs. Gawl. (Jezebel)

Maybe Eyebrows Jonas was just using some vibrators for his voice and things got out of hand. (HuffPo)

Tony Swatton, prop maker and master blacksmith, uses a plasma cutter to make Batarangs. If you follow the link in his name, you can also see him create Jaime Lannister's sword. Bad. Ass.

Finally, a sloth fell from a tree into a speedboat. The sloth was fine and ended up enjoying the ride. The sloth slowly said, "I f*cked a mermaid" to the startled driver.



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Comments Are Welcome, Jerks Will Be Banned


  • RE: that Rifftrax gifs link. That baby head candle holder is one of the creepier things I've ever seen. That's some serial killer decorating right there. Also, those 'vampire teabags' reminded of this chick I used to date who had a roommate who made tea from her menstrual blood. Once I found that out, I didn't drink anything at their house that didn't come out of the tap or a sealed bottle.

  • Lauren_Lauren

    Blood facials are in, you say? Well, that's perfect timing! I've just started . . .
    Oh, you mean BLOOD blood. Well, that's perfect, I keep a small child in my basement for such . . .
    Oh, it has to be MY blood blood? Hmmm. This might be more difficult then I thought.

  • e jerry powell

    I'm thinking her hoo-hah wouldn't be of much use to her once it was murdered, if for no other reason than all the chalk and crime scene tape.

  • BlackRabbit

    Also, fewer photographers (one hopes).

  • lowercase_ryan

    You'd think she'd be more concerned with who murdered her career.

  • ed newman

    I didn't follow the link, but I am sure that the kid can't build an RPG. Besides, why would she want an anti-tank weapon?

    Wait a second...how old is TK's kid now?

  • Tony Swatton just gave me a Bat-stiffy, the best of all stiffies.

  • Fabius_Maximus

    Nah. That man is a too-full-of-himself prop maker.

  • BlackRabbit

    Is your stiffie deeply repressed and prepared for anything?

  • Yes.

  • Drake

    @amanda -- Pass

  • googergieger

    Haha, hilarious....

    Quick question, who is Amanda Bynes? Also, who is Drake?
    And finally, and really I have very little interest in the answer but feel the question should be asked, how does one murder a vagina?

  • Maguita NYC

    1. Sad has-been trying to Lohan her way into the spotlight.

    2. Global recruitment agency.

    3. By calling it a dick.

  • Depends. I reckon Colonel Mustard in the library with the spanner would do it

  • fracas

    drake
    /drāk/
    NounA male duck.

    That's all I've got.

  • Sara_Tonin00

    or a male dragon....

  • Sara_Tonin00

    NY Times is doing an "ask the creators of Game of Thrones" blog today:

    http://artsbeat.blogs.nytimes....

  • dizzylucy

    "Finally, a sloth fell from a tree into a speedboat."

    Best sentence I've read all day. It's like real life Mad Libs.

  • ed newman

    Absolutely, but I am super concerned about the poor bastard. Considering how fast he was moving it will take him the rest of his life to get home.

    Wait a second....calling Pixar...

  • sean

    I think Byrnes is barking up the wrong tree in this case.

  • kushiro -

    If there is one internet trend I think I wouldn't mind someone starting, it would definitely be "slothing".

  • alwaysanswerb

    Wait -- are we supposed to be making fun of Miley for wearing a unicorn onesie and twerking it? That just sounds like a regular Monday night. Which I guess you could still make fun of, if you hate fun and hilarity...

    she said, while wearing a #YOLO t-shirt

  • James Sheehy

    More importantly, what they hell does "twerking" mean?

  • alwaysanswerb

    ty Urban Dictionary:

    "The rhythmic gyrating of the lower fleshy
    extremities in a lascivious manner with the intent to elicit sexual
    arousal or laughter in ones intended audience"

  • Llp

    So, shaking your ass? That needs a new name? Get off my lawn!!

  • Slash

    This. The fuck is twerking? I refuse to Google it.

  • That Aro gif has made my life complete.

  • Kristen Mc

    Considering what Bynes had done to her face, I'm guessing it already looks like a crime scene down there.

  • Alyssa Christopher

    up to I looked at the draft ov $6424, I have faith that my mother in law was like they say truly erning money part-time on their apple labtop.. there best friend started doing this for only about 20 months and just now repayed the depts on there home and bourt themselves a Mercedes. I went here, Mel7.com

  • Joe Grunenwald

    I can see why Kristen Bell cries hysterically whenever she sees a sloth. That thing is TERRIFYING. What is with its arms? Which way is its head pointing? WHERE IS ITS FACE?

    EDIT: I have now watched that video five times and I still literally cannot make heads or tails of it.

  • Derreck

    See, if that thing fell out of a tree and into my boat, i wouldn't have the impulse to break out my camera. I wouldn't be able to even use my camera since it would be all wet from me jumping out of the boat.

    I've read K.D Mo's explanation on what's going on with its posture but i'm still freaked out.

  • Sherry

    I clicked expecting a chuckle or smile, something I could share on Facebook. Instead: utter bafflement. Are we sure it's alive? That its spine didn't crack when it landed and it's simply stuck there? Or that it's terrified into stillness? Or that it is, in actuality, a sloth? I don't understand what I'm looking at!!!

  • Natallica

    It's like a spider-mammal, with creepy claws and an abnormally small alien head. Mother Nature keeps them mostly hidden in trees for a reason.

  • Joe Grunenwald

    I think it's the head that weirds me out the most. It just looks like a big thumb with no discernible features.

  • It's back legs are gripping the bench, balancing on it's butt, leaning back with it's arms out like Rose in fucking Titanic. That is one gloriously happy mammal. Also, that makes it the fastest sloth in the world.

  • Jezzer

    Or, possibly, it's in shock and terrified, because sloths don't naturally assume human posture and behave like happy humans on a speedboat outing. Because they are sloths.

  • Milly

    Which reminds me of one the jokes I found to be hilarious when I was a kid, and still do.

    What's the fastest animal in the world?

    Cue some classmate saying it's a cheetah.

    No, it's a snail in a Ferrari.

    I think the important thing here is that I think it is funny. :)

  • vic

    Sadly, you did kind of oversell that Unreality link, because I can't access it. I need my animated 8-bit classic movie...thing fix, Clager!

  • vic

    Okay, it's working now. What the hell, internet.

  • Fabius_Maximus

    Not for me.

  • Sara_Tonin00

    Ah, Epbot! I've forgotten to procrastinate at that site for far too long. I love her Steampunk stuff.

    Also: I only clicked on the Miley link to what a unicorn onesie is. I'm a little disappointed. I thought it was going to be like a sexy romper-thing with a unicorn silk-screened on it. Boo.

  • BWeaves

    I thought a unicorn onesie was a tight fitting leotard with a dildo attached in the groin area.

  • Sara_Tonin00

    Huh.

    Did you think that before or after watching the Jonas sex tape?

  • Kballs

    Huh. I always pegged for the Rhino version . . .

  • Pinky McLadybits

    Pegged, heh heh heh.

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