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Pajiba Love Racist Edition: Jews Your Words Carefully Because You'll Never Be as Good as those Little Asians

By Dustin Rowles | Posted Under Pajiba Love | Comments (17)

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Good afternoon, man beans and lady bits. I’ll be covering Pajiba Love again today for the lovely and marvelous JoRo (and tomorrow, too). But don’t worry: She’s not going anywhere. In fact, back in December, in exchange for the meaning behind the word “Pajiba,” Joanna agreed to a lifetime of indentured servitude to the site. TK let her off the chain for a few days to allow the bruises to heal. She’ll be back on Thursday.

Let’s kick it off with the best thing I’ve read this week: Our pal Eric D. Snider offers a warning in this week’s hilarious must-read Snide Remarks: “Jews Your Words Carefully.” (Eric D. Snider)

Here’s another warning to you all to keep your super-intimate details off the Facebooks. Bad-mouthing a cheating ex is all fun and games until you get owned. (I Wish I Didn’t Know)

Hey dog lovers: Joanna would never be cruel enough to post a link to this list, but I’m not Joanna. I’m the asshole. Here are 9 Movie Dogs that Should Have Been Put to Sleep. (Screenjunkies)

The guys over at Uproxx are obsessed with two things: “Community” and GIFs. It’s not a bad obsession to have when the result is the Best of Troy Barnes. (Uproxx)

Diablo Cody is rightfully bummed that Bobcat Goldwaithe recently made a movie that lumped Cody in with reality TV and “Jersey Shore.” Low blow, dude. I love you, man, but before you attack a talented screenwriter for one movie (a great one, I might add), consider how you spent the first 20 years of your career. Also, Police Academy. #neverforget (Moviefone)

You know that Bonnie and Clyde movie they were making with Hilary Duff, but then decided to shitcan Hilary Duff? They found a replacement. I don’t watch “True Blood,” so you guys will have to make your own assessments. (The Playlist)

RETRO MUPPET CONCERT POSTERS. You’re welcome. (The Curious Brain)

Long-time Indy reader, Valerie, points us to this piece about video gamers solving a molecular puzzle that has baffled scientists for years. What is it? The molecular make-up of Doritos? (Oh, I know, I know. Lame. You miss Joanna. Shutthefuckup). (MSNBC)

John Singleton is so assured of the success of Abduction that he’s already claiming that a sequel is in the bag. Hahahahahaha. Apparently, Singleton hasn’t seen his own film. (FilmSchoolRejects)

What Is the Internet’s obsession with coplay picture galleries?! Oh, I see. (Unreality)

Newsflash: Bill O’Reilly thinks he’s the second most powerful man in the nation, behind President Obama. (Nerve)

I’m gonna throw a bone to our GOP brethren here so you can see that Obama’s claims that the rich are paying taxes at a higher than the middle class is wrong. But one day, we should have a serious discussion about this on Pajiba. I mean, how much wealth is one person really entitled to? I say: Luxury tax! Just like in baseball. Everything over $100 million is taxed twice. (The Weekly Standard)

Esteemed critic, Mr. John Gholson, directs us to the Cheers Intelligence Infographic. Really? I thought Norm was smarter than Cliff. (Tumblr)

This poor guy: His mother crushes his dreams and tells him he’ll never be as good as those “little Asians.” None of us are, lady. None of us are. (Via ErikDavis)









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Comments

is dat Joan Cusack?

Posted by: haplo at September 20, 2011 2:14 PM

The Weekly Standard is wrong. President Obama said nothing about the income tax rate. If you include capital gains and payroll taxes, rich people's tax rates are a lot less than everyone else's. Singling out the income tax rate is what's confusing when you talk about taxes.

Posted by: Three-nineteen at September 20, 2011 2:25 PM

Thanks Three-Nineteen, I was just about to post the same thing. And it's in capital gains taxes that you really see the numbers because the tax rates on income from investments (where the majority of the super rich get their income from, not salary) are ridiculously skewed to give them a free pass.

Posted by: PaddyDog at September 20, 2011 2:27 PM

That's good parenting right there. Parents, don't let your kids become the laughingstock on American Idol or SYTYCD auditions.

Posted by: admin at September 20, 2011 2:30 PM

Stopped reading when I couldn't figure out if you were being sarcastic about Cody being a good screen writer. Either way, she sucks.

Either way, the Jews bit is nice. Cody should turn that into a movie. Be a hell of a lot better than anything she could come up with.

Posted by: googergieger at September 20, 2011 2:33 PM

My first thought was that Norm is smarter than Cliff, but then I remembered the precise, cogent way in which Cliff explained that D.N.A. stands for "Dames are Not Aggressive".

Now I'm all conflicted like.

Posted by: Groundloop at September 20, 2011 2:34 PM

that woman that replaced hilary duff gets naked on true blood. so +1 for bonnie and clyde

Posted by: sean at September 20, 2011 2:37 PM

Here’s another warning to you all to keep your super-intimate details off the Facebooks. Bad-mouthing a cheating ex is all fun and games until you get owned.

http://fakeconvos.com/

OK, once more...this thing is most likely not a thing.

Posted by: pissant at September 20, 2011 2:41 PM

Have to agree with Admin here. We need more mothers willing to tell their little darlings that they actually do not have the x-factor (whatever the fuck that is).

Posted by: PaddyDog at September 20, 2011 2:43 PM

You stroll down a dark, damp alley and hear whimpering on the other side of a dumpster. You catch your breath at the site of Marley, laying on his side in obvious pain. Unable to stop yourself, you reach down to give him a friendly, comforting pat, when the immense force of four paws backed by 200 pounds of fierce, snarling dog blindsides you and knocks you to the ground. You reach down to push him away, but it is too late. Cujo has ripped into your stomach and eagerly pulls out your entrails as if they were the tastiest, most saliva-inducing cut of juicy steak.

Still conscious, you see Marley back on his feet with that archetypal tongue-lolling doggie smile on his face, evidence of his satisfaction with duping you. Before you can succumb to the blackness of death at the paws of these two cinema canines, Scrappy-Doo jumps to your side with a bottle of steak sauce. He dumps it on your neck, and Chloe and Puffer dash in for the feast, ripping your flesh apart. As your ruptured jugular vein spurts away your life force, you try to scream, but the little teeth of those tiny dogs have already disabled your larynx.

You awake from the nightmare in relief. You are safe in your darkened bedroom. That Internet list put all those dogs to sleep, didn't it? It was just a little harmless fantasy that made you laugh. They can't hurt you now, right?

At the foot of your bed sits BAXTER. He wasn't on the list. You never saw that French film that received some excellent reviews. How could you have known? "Beware the dog that thinks," the tagline said. As Baxter leaps in for the kill, you are paralyzed by the residual fear of your nightmare and unable to stop his jaws from closing around your neck. You regret ever linking to something that joked about putting dogs to sleep, but it's too late for regrets.

Posted by: DarthCorleone at September 20, 2011 2:48 PM

I think that one of the sources used in the Standard's article makes it a little clearer

The basic summary was that if your income is from investments you could be paying a lower rate than someone whose incomes is from wages alone.

It's hard to make a straight apples to apples comparison when you look at wage vs. capital investment income.

I agree that what we need is a simplification of the overall tax code that removes the loop holes and special deductions.

Posted by: phase10 at September 20, 2011 2:53 PM

Those gamers are helping combat the AIDS epidemic in two ways: One, playing a game that replicates the structure of the protein-cutting enzyme that helps spread the virus, which may help scientists develop better treatments for fighting AIDS; Second, not having sex.
Wow, gaming humor IS easy, Rowles! When do I get my own column?

Posted by: Jim Doggie at September 20, 2011 6:46 PM

why do people use the race card here so often?

Posted by: Utah Dynamo at September 20, 2011 8:28 PM

because there's more of them in the deck than the Draw-4 Wild cards.

Posted by: Jim Doggie at September 21, 2011 10:56 AM

Having seen True Blood, I am guessing that the directors of the new Bonnie & Clyde movie are moving in a direction that involves more "naked" and less "acting" (NOT that I consider Hillary Duff a master thespian by any means.)

On the upside, that girl does look a lot more like the real Bonnie.

Also, could someone please explain WHY we NEED a new Bonnie & Clyde movie? Faye Dunaway and Warren Beatty are not good enough anymore? Do "the damn kids today" even have any clue who Bonnie & Clyde are (barring passing reference in a 10 yr old Eminem song?)

Posted by: Siege at September 21, 2011 11:02 AM

Best. Mom. Ever.

I must remember her snark when I become a mother.

Posted by: Wormer at September 22, 2011 4:38 PM

One of the newest and latest ideas……

Posted by: get more youtube views at September 26, 2011 10:59 AM